Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Dick Cheney Was Visiting Saudi Arabia

News Item: Why Was Cheney in Saudi Arabia?

10. Moonlighting for Fox News - Trying to get Saudis to say Oil Spill is Obama's fault

9. Picking up royalty check, for invading Iraq

8. Trying to give The Politico a scoop

7. Made a pit stop, after visiting Prince Sheikh Issa bin Zayed al-Nahyan, in the UAE, who lined up someone for Cheney to beat and run over

6. Looking for a buyer - Wants to put his old Secret Bunker on the market, for big bucks

5. No here will go hunting with him any longer

  4. Saudis wanted to hear, first hand, the telling of the Leahy "Go-fuck-yourself" story

3. Felt he had to, personally, go over and explain his rabid, nitwit daughter Liz

2. Moonlighting as "Bag Man" for the Carlyle Group

1. Working out a "No Extradition" deal, in the event he gets prosecuted

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard While Dick Cheney Was In Saudi Arabia

News Item: Contrary to Previous Reports, Cheney Was ‘Basically Summoned’ By Saudi Crown Prince

10. I think he has the paperwork for one of those CIA Black Hole Prisons, they accepted our RFP

9. With his aide going to trial soon, and that CIA agent suing him, he’s gotta be looking for a country that will take him in and away from extradition

8. That Armstrong woman isn’t with him, so I guess we won’t be doing any hunting while he’s here

7. Watch, I give him less then 15-minutes before he starts in on the King, to back his plan to attack Iran

6. You sure he’s really a conservative? He hasn’t asked yet, for the gay male escort and crystal meth

5. With all the spinning he’s done, he’ll drink a barrel of oil before he calls what’s going on in Iraq a “Civil War”

4. How much you want to bet, before he leaves, he’ll be trying to sell a few cases of that wife of his ... her new book?

3. I don’t care what his Rider Sheet says, we’re not putting Fox News on here ... He can watch Al-Jazeera like everyone else

2. First time they’ve ever used him to deliver the monthly Halliburton kickback

1. No, no your Highness, trust me, the President and myself are not in our final throes

Bag Man or In-The-Bag - You Decide