Top Ten Bush Incentives To Open A Private Social Security Account

10. Lead a Mock-Impeachment of Senator John Kerry

9. Secret Service uses your name as a code for a day (gift CD of recording provided)

8. Take the controls of piloting Air Force One; Buzz your boss's house with a 747

7. Extend Martha Stewart's jail sentence

6. Tour, and get to see the aliens and spacecrafts at Area 51(sorry, no cameras or recording devices allowed)

5. Write an FBI file on your neighbor

4. Toke a few spliffs of the weed the President stashed in 1968

3. Day running the FCC; Put anything you want on television

2. Get your National Guard files expunged

1. Pick the next country the Bush Administration will invade