Thursday 8 December 2005

Bush Team Miffed 'Podcast" Wins Word-Of-Year; Cites Media Lockout of Good News

Sponsored Three Words For Award; Apple To Issue Special Edition "Dictionary-Thick" iPod

It may become the new "war of words" as the New Oxford American Dictionary announced that "Podcast" is its' Word-of-the-Year, a move that has upset the Bush Administration.

White House Chief of Staff Andy Card said in a statement that "we are deeply disappointed".

The White House sponsored three words this year for the title of 'Word-of-the-Year; Terrorist, Karl Rove and, a late entry, National Strategy For Victory In Iraq.

'The White House, WHIG and a whole team of right-wing pundits made a tremendous effort", said Card. "We beat the drum long and loud for 'terrorist' and 'Karl Rove'. Though we came in late with the 'National Strategy entry, we believed it had the strength to rise up the ladder".

The White House was completely shut out of the awards, as Runners-up for the 2005 Word of the Year included "bird flu", "lifehack", "sudoku", "trans fat" and "persistent vegetative state".

Ironically, IED (improvised explosive device, such as a car bomb) was a Runner-up finalist, however that word was sponsored by Al-Qaeda.

In a candid interview with reporters, Card said "we did waiver a bit on 'terrorist'".

'The President wasn't as consistent with it as he could have been", admitted Card. "For awhile, he was running with 'global enemies' and there was the constant inter-changing with the word 'insurgents'. I think Rummy [Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld] finally put it out last week, that it was just plain old 'terrorists'".

Card lamented that Karl Rove "wasn't indicted" in the CIA Leak Case.

"That still may come to pass", said Card. "It it had happened earlier, or along with Scooter, I think it would have been a slam dunk we get the title".

Speaking officially for the President, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan said that "the President believes that the real story isn't getting out there".

"The President feels that the mainstream and liberal media in this country, as well as in Europe, are ignoring the tremendous effort and progress we are making in Iraq. Not winning Word-of-the-Year is just another example of being overlooked."

Apple Computer, according to a spokesperson, was "ecstatic" on having "podcast" enter the mainstream lexicon.

To celebrate the title, Apple quickly announced a new "Word-of-the-Year" iPod that will be release early in 2006.

Moving away from the standard, micro, paper-thin iPods, the "Word-of-the-Year" iPod will be "as thick as a dictionary" and have the capacity to "hold the contents of ten dictionaries, plus over 1-million songs".

"You could jump-start your car with the battery from this iPod", said the Apple spokesperson.

In releasing the new "Word-of-the-Year" iPod, Apple will also make available for downloading, dictionaries, from a new section in their iTune franchise, tentatively titled iWord. Only owners of the Special Edition "Word-of-the-Year iPod will be able to download from iWord, and can do so, either purchasing the entire dictionary, specific letters, or a la carte words.















In an exclusive photo provided to The Garlic, Apple Computer engineers work on the soon-to-be-released Special Edition Word-of-the-Year iPod, expected to be available in early 2006