Friday, December 09, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Chris Rock Won't Be Hosting The Oscars This Year

10. Older Academy members thought his UPN show "Everybody Hates Chris" was a news report and complained

9. Fearful that Ann Coulter will heckle and throw pies at him

8. Collin Farrell, Toby Maguire and Chris Penn threatened to kick his ass if he shows up

7. He's not part of the "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq"

6. Jude Law threatened the Academy with a lawsuit

5. ABC couldn't risk what he would say about "Brokeback Mountain" or "Memoirs of a Geisha"

4. Getting flak from American Family Association, because he had use of a leased Jaguar last year

3. Since people say he "bombed" last year, worried about Air Marshalls on flight out to Hollywood and what they might do

2. Holding out that he still has a chance to get named as another anchor of 'Nightline'

1. Kayne West was right; Bush Administration put some heat on Academy to get a white host this year

1 comment:

Karlo said...

Great minds must think alike! I was actually thinking about starting a comedy blog called the garlic (that would pretend to be based out of Gilroy California) but you beat me to it. I've added a link to you over at Swerve Left.