Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Nobody In Bush Administration Or Pentagon Will Say Iraq Is In Civil War

News Item: Iraq at Risk Of Civil War, Top Generals Tell Senators

10. Can’t call all those fake Elevated Terror Alerts if it’s a Civil War

9. The Sunni’s and Shia all wear multiple-colored clothing so would be hard to make the Blue-Gray analogies

8. Isn’t testing well in the focus groups for the Mid-Term Elections, giving too much of a edge to the Democrats and Liberals

7. President prefers to leave it to the next President to label it a Civil War

6. Need to clear up and fix this Senators-Only Elevator fiasco before we can get to the question of it’s a Civil War or not

5. What, you think Rumsfeld was going to give Hillary Clinton a bone like that!

4. Calling it a Civil War will screw-up all the plans to expand and invade Iran and Syria

3. Too much trouble auditioning and documenting all those reenactment players that will surely follow

2. Would default, and cost billions more, on all those Halliburton contracts, that stipulate a “War On Terror”

1. They’d have to come up with new false intelligence, and out another CIA covert agent to go with the Civil War storyline

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, testifying yesterday before the Senate Armed Services Committee, said he was reluctant to label the conflict in Iraq as Civil War, mostly due to it would be hard to make the Blue-Gray analogies, with the Sunni’s and Shia all wearing multiple-colored clothing