Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard During Newly Elected Congressmen and Congresswomen’s Capital Hill Orientation

News Item: The Grand Tour of Their New House

10. Where did Jimmy Stewart sit when he came to Washington?

9. Whatever you do, if you have a disagreement, don’t ever write a letter to Senator John McCain, or you’ll be in for it

8. We don’t have any bridges ... How do I go about getting a big, fat earmark so I can put a Bridge-To-Nowhere in my district?

7. That is a pretty weird gift from President Bush - A framed picture of the dead terrorist, Zarqawi

6. Rush Limbaugh wants to interview me later ... Should I be prepared, I mean, is he going to be all shaking and whatnot?

5. I don’t golf, but if I lobbyist wants to take me to Scotland, should I go?

4. What time do we get to tour Cheney’s Secret Bunker? And can we take pictures?

3. Are we going to get to do anything or do we have to go along with whatever the Iraq Study Group comes up with?

2. You know of any place around here where a guy can get a good massage and some meth?

1. This place is cool ... If I ever have to run in primary, and I lose ... I’m pulling a Lieberman...

I don’t golf, but if I lobbyist wants to take me to Scotland, should I go?