Top Ten Cloves: Things That Would Be Different If Paul Revere Made His Famous Ride Today

News Item: The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere

10. Ride would have to be approved by U.N. Security Council

9. They would, now, use unmanned drone planes in the Battle of Lexington Green

8. There would, likely, be a court-injunction, brought by SPCA, as to how Revere was treating his horses

7. If he made ride while Bush was the Commander-in-Chief, he would have Revere detour, and ride into Iraq

6. If he made ride under the Obama Administration, Right Wing would pound Obama, charging, again, hanging around with terrorists and rabble-rousers

5. NRA would issue propaganda that, if they let Revere make his ride, the government would be trying to take away all the muskets

4. Since the lanterns would likely be electronic, ride would be sponsored by Eveready Batteries, and drum-banging rabbit would follow him all the way to Lexington

3. Paul Revere could save himself the hard ride, and use Twitter - The British Are Coming!, The British Are Coming! (and, in only 49 characters)

2. The Red Coats, worn by the British, would become the new wave of Hip Hop fashion

1. The whole ride, and battle, would be on YouTube before the end-of-the-day