Wednesday, January 10, 2007

White House Plans “Strategy Accomplished” Banner As Backdrop For Bush Speech

No Post-Speech Photo Cropping; Attire Still Up In The Air; Leaving Door Open For “Newer” Strategies To Follow

Sources have told The Garlic, that when the President delivers his speech this evening, on his new Iraq Policy, a large banner will hang behind him, reading “Strategy Accomplished”.

The President will announce that he has chosen as his way forward, and against the advice of his military command, installing more troops - as many as 20,000+ - in Iraq, to secure Baghdad and other trouble areas.

With heavy criticism, from both Republicans and Democrats, and rock-bottom approval ratings, the aide indicated that “We have take the opportunities given us ... We need to begin the work of building back the image of a strong, in-charge President ...”

President Bush has delayed the unveiling of his new strategy and the concept of the banner initially was borne out of a joke by West Wing staffers, that the President finally made the determination on the “new way forward”.

“After we all had a laugh, we thought about it and the more we talked about it, we saw that we can actually use it as a positive.”

The White House was lambasted, after the President delivered, back in 2004, his speech aboard the U.S.S. Lincoln, declaring major combat operations in Iraq were over, and with a large “Mission Accomplished” banner hanging behind him.

Later, more derision was aimed at the White House, when it was discovered that official White House photos of the day cropped out the “Mission Accomplished” banner.

“No cropping this evening,” declared White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten.

“We are proud that the President has come up with the strategy and we want everyone to know about it. We cleaned up the Iraq Jar and we’re putting it all out there.”

So orchestrated around the “Strategy Accomplished” banner is the White House, the staff brought in a team of fashion consultants, and conducted two-hours of wardrobe tests yesterday, with the President in everything from tailored suits, to the uniforms of all four military branches, combat attire, with and without body armor, as well as the infamous flight suit he wore the day of the “Mission Accomplished” debacle.

In the days following the speech, the White House is planning funneling thousands of people through the White House Library, to have photos taken with the “Strategy Accomplished” banner.

And not only is the White House thumping the “Strategy Accomplished”.

The RNC is planning a mass mailing to party donors and faithful supporters, bumper stickers and placards carrying the “Strategy Accomplished” message, in an effort to rally more public support for the new policy.

Sources tell The Garlic that Special White House Council Karl Rove will be applying his “The Math” powers to the speech message, to challenge critics, not on their support of the policy, but whether or not they can produce an accomplished Iraq strategy

This is all about building back the President’s power image,” said one White House aide.

And the White House is not resting their laurels on just the speech this evening.

“We expect,” offered Bolten, “that the President will continue to strategize the best possible policy for battling the terrorists and insurgents... He’s on a roll now.”

Bolten indicated that the White House has already ordered a new banner to be printed, blazing the message “New Strategy Accomplished”.





















So orchestrated around the “Strategy Accomplished” banner is the White House, the staff brought in a team of fashion consultants, and conducted two-hours of wardrobe tests yesterday, with the President in everything from tailored suits, to the uniforms of all four military branches, combat attire, with and without body armor, as well as the infamous flight suit he wore the day of the “Mission Accomplished” debacle.

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