Monday, January 28, 2008

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard During The Presidents State of the Union Address

News Item: Embargoed: State of the Union Text (We’ll start respecting White House embargoes when they start telling the truth. Here is President Bush’s FINAL State of the Union address)

10. Jesus, he hasn't finished yet? ... I think he's gonna keep us here 100-years...

9. Is that a veto in your pocket, Mr. President, or you just glad to illegally listen in on my calls ...

8. I heard the CIA held up the speech ... They wanted it, in writing, that none of their covert agents would be outted, no matter who writes what

7. Hey, we got a pool going ... Who sucks up to the speech more tomorrow - John McCain or Mitt Romney?

6. That French trader blows $7-Billion and gets arrested... Bush blows $10-Billion -a-month - in Iraq, and we have to sit here and listen to him

5. If really wants to put out a Stimulus Package, that would be for him, and Cheney to resign ... That'll stimulate the country, all right

4. I heard, as a protest, Lou Dobbs was setting up loud speakers along the border, so the illegals coming over tonight can hear the speech

3. I wonder what Obama will say when Kennedy Jr. there says he'll give him a lift home

2. Gee, I would have thought, for the last one, that he'd let Cheney give it

1. Lame Duck President ... Last SOTU ... Turn up the "Boring Dial" full blast!

Bonus SOTU Riffs

Barry Crimmins: Monday Night Goofball

Think Progress: Bush SOTU guest illegal under administration policies

White House releases guest list for State of the Union

Think Progress - SOTU: Bush Is Forced To Withraw Troops From Iraq Because Of Weakened Military

The Lede: Iraqi Government Tackles Global Warming

Taylor Marsh: Our Long National Nightmare is Almost Over

The Exit - It can't come fast enough!

No comments: