Friday, April 09, 2010

I See Dead Golfers

We did, what we thought would be our only Tiger Woods post yesterday, defending him against two incredibly Ignorant Dolts, and yet, this morning, we are compelled to do another.

Not about his over-hyped comeback.

If you had the television on yesterday, even for a few moments, and you could have had it set at, just about, any channel, then you undoubtedly saw the new Nike Ad, with Woods, deer-in-the-headlights-like in front of the camera, as his late father Earl, Lazarus-like, berates him, no doubt reminding Tiger of his drill-sargented-upbringing to be THE WORLD'S BEST GOLFER.

I know his last few films didn't do as well as his earlier work, but did M. Night Shyamalan whore himself out to Nike?

Creepy only begins to cover this.

You can view the video HERE - I don't want to give Nike any more PR than necessary (Also, you can check out Keith Olbermann, who ran some of the parody ads generated within hours of release of the actual ad)


And, the dialog for the ad;

Tiger, I am more prone to be inquisitive, to promote discussion. I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are, and did you learn anything?

It plays right into the extra-marital affairs of Woods, on the day he opens in The Masters.

Was the a wet kiss, from Nike, to take away some of the attention, the pressure?

Dave Zirin, over at The Nation, seems to hit the bullseye;
In the context of our enduring global fever-dream, a tacky ad in which Nike and Tiger conspire to exploit the memory of Earl Woods is hardly that big a deal--particularly since if Earl Woods were alive, he would have supported this exercise in grave robbing 100 percent. But the idea that Tiger and Nike would see the incredible turmoil that has engulfed Tiger's life as an opportunity to rebrand Tiger and sell us more swoosh-laden crap is simply sickening. Every single member of the golf media and every fan who has felt sympathy for his self-destructive plight should feel like a grade-A sucker. Every person impressed with his professed recommitment to the Buddhist faith and his family should be deeply offended that it was all just a springboard aimed at cashing in. And every golf fan and pro golfer should be furious that he's shellacked another layer of controversy onto the most prestigious tournament on the tour, the Masters at Augusta.


I really believed that in the wake of his Odyssey of scandal and humiliation, there would be a showdown inside Tiger's soul between the brand and the man. I couldn't have been more wrong. There is no man, only brand. If he wants to dehumanize himself on his own time then more power to him. But this ad dehumanizes all of us. One thing however is abundantly clear: If Tiger loses this weekend, Nike loses as well. Neither deserve to make the cut, on the course or otherwise. Tiger the brand has now wholly consumed Tiger the man.

All this means, is that some underage kid in Asia is going to have to work a Monty-Python-like schedule ("I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed ...") in some Nike Sweatshop, to produce the "Tiger Woods" line of crap.

Way to go there Tiger.

Did you, learn anything?

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