Our Baseball Essay ... A Day Late, But We'll Explain Who's Playing Shortstop

For the second day, we offer one of our special essays, our letter-producing, much-heralded, all-you-need-to-know, "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"



While, officially, the season began last evening (and what planet has a baseball season opener at night? Aim your rotten tomatoes at MLB and ESPN), the full slate begins today , in daylight, under afternoon sunshine (hopefully).

And, if you attended, or watched, last night's game, and felt like a polka-playing accordionist time-warp-thrusted into a discotheque, not understanding the game of baseball, not knowing the lingo, or positions, incumbent on being a member of the official fandom of "our national pastime", then you need our essay;

There are various breeds of relief pitchers. You have long relievers and short relievers. The title refers not to their size but to the length of time that they pitch. After all, you have long relievers that are short and short relievers that are tall.

Sometimes a relief pitcher will do so well (he’ll have his stuff) that he gets credit with the win.Other times (not having his stuff) he’ll get pinned with the loss. On some occasions, he’ll only get a save, with the win going to the starting pitcher who didn’t have his stuff and couldn’t finish the game, thus being relieved. It even happens that relief pitchers get relieved by other relief pitchers.

Don't worry, we cover all the other positions (including the "opposite field", and "utility fielder"), so after reading "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?", you can belly up to any bar and banter with the best of them.

And, no, "Who's on First."


Bonus B'Ball Riffs

Tomgram: Robert Lipsyte, Welcome to Fandora ...Root, Root, Root for the Owners… Is Baseball a Fading Allegory for the Fading American Way of Life?

The Savvy Girls of Summer

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal ...Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone ... Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Politics and Sports Collide ...Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs ...MLB Mulling Changing Status Of Home Runs In Wake Of New Bonds Allegations

Top Ten Cloves: Things That Might Have Happened To Ted Williams' Head

You Don't Hit With Your Face