Life Validating Old Tom Lehrer Joke

When the flock starts fleeing, if you're the Christian Scientists, you yell "Wait!";

Christian Science Church Seeks Truce on Medicine

Since the founding of their church 131 years ago, Christian Scientists have been taught to avoid doctors at all cost. It is a conviction rooted so deeply in church dogma that dozens of members have gone to jail rather than surrender an ailing person to what they see as the quackery of medical science.

But faced with dwindling membership and blows to their church’s reputation caused by its intransigence concerning medical treatment, even for children with grave illnesses, Christian Science leaders have recently found a new tolerance for medical care. For more than a year, leaders say, they have been encouraging members to see a physician if they feel it is necessary.

When we espied this article today, our thoughts went, immediately, in nano-nano seconds, to the great satirist, Tom Lehrer, his album ''That Was the Year That Was', and his tune "Send In The Marines".

On the album, Lehrer intro's the song with this;

What with President Johnson practicing escalatio on the Vietnamese and then the Dominican crisis on top of that it has been a nervous year and people have begun to feel like a Christian scientist with appendicitis. Fortunately in times of crisis just like this America always has this number one instrument of diplomacy to fall back on. Here's a song about it.

No more, apparently, will a Christian Scientist have to gut out appendicitis.

Though, I am confident, Lehrer still would have managed to come up with, and squeeze in, a Christian Scientist joke to any number of tunes.

Here, by the way, is "Send In The Marines";

Tom Lehrer - Send the Marines - with intro - widescreen - now on DVD

Today's Ignorant Dolt - Pat Robertson

In some way, we have to thank the certifiable loony tune head of the 700 Club.



With the week we've had, struggling to get time to read, let alone post, searching everywhere for some mojo, he hands us, virtually gift-wrapped, his (official, see the Bonus Links) induction into The Garlic roster of Ignorant Dolts.

Now, with the Right Wing Freak Show all but calling for "open season" on Muslim hunting, following the Fort Hood shooting, Mr. 700 Club polished up his orange vest and Elmer Fudd cap;

Pat Robertson on Ft. Hood: Islam is ‘not a religion’ and Muslims should be treated like ‘some fascist group.’

On his 700 Club TV show yesterday, Pat Robertson claimed that Islam is “not a religion,” but “a violent political system bent on the overthrow of the governments of the world and world domination”:

ROBERTSON: That is the ultimate aim. And they talk about infidels and all this, but the truth is that’s what the game is. So you are dealing with not a religion. You’re dealing with a political system. And I think we should treat it as such and treat its adherences as such as we would members of the Communist Party or members of some fascist group. Well, it’s a tragedy. Our hearts go out to the families who suffered. But those in the Army should be held on account for the fact they let this man loose.

Hmmm ...

I wonder if Robertson would include the "political system" in this country, that shoots doctors who perform abortions?

Should we treat them with "adherences" as members of Communist or fascist groups?

MediaMatters has the video that welcomes the 700 Club chieftain onto the roster of Ignorant Dolts.

Eli, over on Firedoglake, helps us on on the PR front, hailing Robertson as a "xenophobic ignoramus."

While Melissa, over on Shakesville thinks Robertson may be on to something;

Being an atheist, I'm more than happy to treat every religion as its own political ideology. Let's start with charging a religious organization the same taxes that, say, a feminist blog gets charged for doing business.

Somehow, I'm guessing P-Rob won't be on board with that idea, once it includes him.

P-Rob (we like that), drop by anytime to pick up your inglorious Ignorant Dolt Crown and Sceptre

Bonus Links

(Editor Note: As we referenced above, this will be Robertson's "official" Ignorant Dolt induction, for, as you will see below, he's had a hall pass, and visa, that has been continually renewed.)

Robertson To Ballmer: "I've Got Your Back" ...Looking to Strike Deal With Microsoft Chief For Help With Offing Chavez

White House Meets With Robertson; Plan Video Blitz ...Controversial Minister To Produce Al Qaeda-type Videos, Promising Death and Destruction, To Counter Bin Laden's

Robertson May Have, Inadvertently, Caused Hajj Stampede Deaths; Was Working On New Material For Bush Video Blitz, Testing New Curses and Condemnations

Breaking News! Robertson Held For Questioning In Falwell Death ...Threats Against Chavez, Sharon Make 700 Club Founder 'Person of Interest'

Retro Garlic: "We Got An Eight-Page Layout With Viceroy ... The New Pope Is A Thinking Man ..."

We, of course, take our title from Lenny Bruce, and his hysterical riff, Religions, Inc.

For Catholics, today (actually last evening) begins their, more-or-less, Super Bowl weekend, and the big trio of festivities with Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and the big day, Easter Sunday.

The Garlic, has, on occasion, waded into the minefield of religion, so we offer you today a look back, at a handful of the more popular posts.

Peace Be With You!

Top Ten Cloves: Things The Vatican Has Done To Make Good Friday Even Better

Breaking News! Pontiff In Major Spread, Popemobile Giveaway; Oprah Lands Pope Benedict XVI For Huge Tell-All Over Muslam Flap; Either Apology or Conversion To Islam Promised In Teasers; Pontiff Turned Down By CBS News Free Speech

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Problems With Suing God

New, Hi-Tech Confessional Booths Possible; Catholic Church To Follow IRS Lead; Will Begin To Sell Confessions; Move Forecasted To Be Boon For On-Line Porn, Gambling, and Divorce Industries

Top Ten Cloves: Surprising Things Found In Newly Discovered Jesus Burial Cave

Vatican Discounts "Bonfire Pope"; Says Flames "Not Hunched Over Enough"; Late Pontiff's Bend Was Measured "Religiously"; Never Used Contingency "Roller Skate Gloves"


Bonus, Bonus

Listen here to Lenny Bruce's "Religion, Inc."

Top Ten Cloves: Surprising Things Found In Newly Discovered Jesus Burial Cave

News Item: Filmmaker shows relics from disputed Jesus tomb

10. Primative blueprints for a project titled "Stonehenge"

9. Dozens and dozens of empty wine jugs

8. Earliest known travel brochures, depicting "7 Nights, 6 Days" in Rome

7. Decaying sheets, that appear to be some form of ID, with the names "Jesus", "Joseph", "J.C.", "Son of God"

6. Faded banner - "What Happens In Jerusalem, Stays In Jerusalem"

5. A stone tablet, sort of a primative, Mary Magdalene MySpace Page

4. A satchel full of restaurant receipts, including the one for the Last Supper

3. Stack of towels, with facial imprint of Christ, and a "50% Discount" sign

2. A gag rubber fish, that turns inside out into a loaf of bread

1. An early draft of a novel titled "The DiVinci Code"













Among the surprising discovery was a faded banner, declaring "What Happens In Jerusalem, Stays In Jerusalem"