It's Only April, What's Card Selling?

Well, this is a pleasant surprise ...

Surfing around, and then, rather suddenly, espying this story and zeroing in on it;

Andrew Card Now Afraid Of One Party Rule

What?

The P.T. Barnum of the Bush Grindhouse back in the headlines ... One of the seminal members of the WHIG cronies, who set the standard for any-and-all future administrations, when they want to initiate a campaign of lies and falsehoods, offering;

Not long after, White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card was asked why the administration waited until after Labor Day to try to sell the American people on military action against Iraq. Card replied, `From a marketing point of view, you don't introduce new products in August.'

It's April, so what's up with this?

From C&L's Nicole Bell;

At the America Small Business Summit 2008, former Bush White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card laments what the potential abuses Democrats might commit if they hold the majority in both houses of Congress and the White House. Funny how that didn’t seem to be an issue when the Republicans were in charge.

"But I worry, if we have a president that gets elected with significant momentum and his or her party is sharing the possibility of running Congress with overwhelming majorities that there would be a rush to do stupid things in the first hundred days. And the first hundred days could produce a lot of mistakes that would take years and years to undo. So that’s something I think we should be cautious about or thinking about. Not just who the next president is, but what will our government look like when they take the direction that the president has to offer. I actually kind of like having a deliberative process in the House and the Senate that causes people to work really hard to get legislation passed to change some of the things happening in our economy. It’s good and it’s bad. It’s frustrating when it doesn’t happen on the good side fast enough, but sometimes, it’s a blessing when bad things don’t happen because we woke up to recognize the consequence of the action."

Hypocrisy, thy name is Republican.

Whatever it is, whatever he is offering, whatever he is selling, speak in their language, from one of their icons ...

Just Say No!


Bonus Andy Card

Timothy Noah/Slate: Is Andy Card an Idiot? Esquire sure makes him look like one

Ken Rudin/NPR: Andy Card Leaves a Stacked Deck

SilentPatriot/C&L: Jon Stewart to Andy Card: “Come to the light side..”

Bolton: Card Had White House In Coma; White House Shake-Up Causes Bolton Snafu; Fiery UN Ambassador Thought Bush Reaching Out To Him; Lambastes Card and “that little bean-counting pansy”


My Pet Andy

Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Aides Got President Bush To Claim "We Do Not Torture"

News Item: Bush says U.S. 'does not torture people'

10. Called in Scooter Libby, who threatened to spill-the-beans on the whole Valerie Plame outing unless he denies the torture

9. Convinced him it makes him sound "Shakespearian"

8. The more he denies it, the easier they can get the Blackwater business out of the headlines

7. Promised they'd let him see Dick Cheney's Secret Bunker

6. Still testing the marketing slogans, about how "Americans will die if we don’t ..."

5. Extraordinary Rendition - Got as far as half way across the Atlantic before he caved

4. Condi Rice said she'd let him reenact his Angela Merkel neck rub

3. Showed him data that there'd be a slight uptick in donations to the Bush Library and Freedom Institute if he continues to stonewall the torture thing

2. That he could wear General Petraeus's uniform for a day

1. Spelled out "We do not torture" phonetically for him

Bonus 'We Don't Torture" Links

Glen Greenwald: The latest revelations of lawbreaking, torture and extremism

Nat Hentoff - Bush to CIA: 'Leave No Marks'; With no sign of torture on a prisoner, then it didn't happen, right?

Top Ten Cloves: Torture Practices President Bush Will Definitely Fight Congress To Keep

Condi Rice said she'd let him reenact his Angela Merkel neck rub

Oxymoron of the Day: Ayad Allawi and his 'A Plan for Iraq'

"Who could have imagined that Iraq would be in such crisis more than four years after Saddam Hussein?"

Well, he was a puppet for the Bush Grindhouse from the get-go, so it shouldn't be any big surprise, Ayad Allawi and his grand plan for Iraq that appears in today's Washington Post.

He was anointed, errr, appointed to be the "interim prime minister" after the Bush invasion and beginning of the occupation, by the puppet stable of the "Iraq Governing Council", not to be confused with L. Paul Bremer's puppet division, the Coalition Provisional Authority.

While he slobbers kisses all over the Bush Grindhouse in the first two paragraphs (The now-mandatory homage to Golden Boy, General David Petraeus, as well as the Iraq Embassy Cabana Boy, Ambassador Ryan Crocker, he plants a big wet one on The Commander Guy with "Let me be clear. Responsibility for the current mess in Iraq rests primarily with the Iraqi government, not with the United States...")

Ahhh, but the third paragraph ... That's where this shows, this grand plan starts to transform into a White House Iraq Group Talking Points Memo.

"Who could have imagined that Iraq would be in such crisis more than four years after Saddam Hussein?"

Well, for one, the current, sitting Vice President, Richard B. Cheney.

Here, in 1994, from C-SPAN.

And here, again, in 2000, courtesy of Keith Olbermann.

Hmmm ... Didn't Andy Card say something about not busting out a new marketing plan in August?

Some other gems ..

Wait! .. Wait! ... I Know ... I Know The Answer!

"I am working with my colleagues in parliament to build a nonsectarian majority coalition that will support the following six-point plan for a "new era" in Iraq and replace through democratic means the current Iraqi government."

All of You Who Said Iraq Will Be Cut Up Into Three States ... We Have Some Lovely Parting Gifts For You...

"Iraq must be a single, independent federal state"

Duh!

"The Iraqi economy has been handicapped by corruption and inadequate security."

Hello, I Must Be Going!

"It is past time for change at the top of the Iraqi government. Without that, no American military strategy or orderly withdrawal will succeed, and Iraq and the region will be left in chaos."

Send barrels of purple ink to;

Ayad Allawi
c/o President George Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Bonus Links

Oxymoron of the Day: Karl Rove at an Idea Festival

Reports Show Iraqis Confused; Can’t Find “Road To Democracy”; Google Maps Comes Up Empty; Scores of Thousands Say Adds “Hours” On To Their Travels

White House Plunges Into New Iraq Strategy; Moving From ‘Keystone Cops’ To ‘Marx Brothers’; Denials Of “Stay The Course” Signal Major Shift; Possible Complete Erasing Of Iraq May Come In Time For Mid-Terms