Lieberman Officially Withdraws From 2000 Ticket; Prelude To Taking Bush Cabinet Post
With Rumsfeld Saying He's Staying, Appointment May Hinge On Cheney Indictment For Last Political Hoorah
DNC, Dean, Gore Livid: Must Fill VP Position Retroactively Or Face Default On Top Of Loss
Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) stunned colleagues and his own party elders when he filed today, the official paperwork to remove himself from the 2000 Presidential ticket, as Al Gore's Vice Presidential running-mate.
The Gore-Lieberman ticket lost to now President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney in the bitterly contested election, that required the United States Supreme Court to settle and decide the race, after a deeply flawed vote count in the State of Florida.
Washington insiders say the move by Lieberman, who has recently been backing President Bush's vision and strategy for the War in Iraq, is likely a formality, a prelude to Lieberman joining, as has been hotly rumored all over the Capital, the Bush Administration, possiblly replacing a retiring Donald Rumsfeld as Secretary of Defense.
The Democratic National Committee, and its' Chairman, Gov. Howard Dean, issued a statement lambasting Lieberman "for his betrayal".
"He must be a loser if he wants to join a losing team", said Dean.
Former Vice President, and 2000 Presidential nominee Al Gore said that he "was deeply disappointed" and if he had known, "would never have chosen Lieberman" as his running mate.
A spokesperson for the Federal Election Committee indicated that Liberman can, legally, withdraw from the race "even though it's over".
"It's really just a matter of filing out some forms", said the spokesperson.
The Withdrawal forms are then copied to both poltical parties, and, in the case of the 2000 election, copies were also sent to the Supreme Court.
According to the FEC spokesperson Gore must choose a new running-mate, despite that the election is over, or legally and technically, he will be faced with a default, on top of the already-recorded loss.
And late yesterday, cold water was splashed on the rumors when Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld stated that he is not retiring anytime soon.
"I have no plans to retire," said Rumsfeld. "Those reports have been flying around since about four months after I assumed my post in 2001."
President Bush has not, publically, indicated, that he is ready to bring Lieberman into the Administration. However. The President has gone out of his way to praise and quote Liberman as he stumps to promote his new "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq"
To counter the blistering and growing criticism, from Democrats, and also Republican members of the House and Senate, the President cites Senator Lieberman, one of his strongest Democratic supporters, and Lieberman's comments that "visible and practical progress were obvious in Iraq"
Lieberman, in speeches, has lined himself up with President Bush, saying that “the war (in Iraq), which arguably began as a “war of choice” has become a “war of necessity”
Liberman also chided his fellow Democrats, calling that "it is time for Democrats who distrust President Bush to acknowledge that he will be Commander-in-Chief for three more critical years, and that in matters of war we undermine Presidential credibility at our nation’s peril".
Lieberman has refused comment on whether he plans to join the Bush Administration, deferring questions to RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman.
'He's out on the ledge right now", says David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party.
"With Rummy saying he's staying, Lieberman's only hope, really, is if Cheney gets indicted. There aren't any other Cabinet members shaking out in the forseeable future".
"This is", says Aarsonson, "really his last hurrah. Weicker is lining up, possibly, to run against him in '06' and Hillary will eat his lunch if he goes for the nomination in 2008".
Vice President Cheney's Chief of Staff, Lewis "Scooter" Libby was indicted back in October, in the CIA Leak Case, in the CIA Leak Case, and Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is continuing the investigation, having recently convined a secord grand jury to hear evidence.
Speculation is rampent that longtime Bush aide Karl Rove, and possibly Cheney and other administration officials could be hit with indictments.
In a related story, Bob Woodward, Washington Post reporter and author, says that he knew of the 2000 Presidental Election results and the courts battles that followed, but didn't tell his editors or colleagues because he was "afraid they would want me to write a book on it".
Joe Lieberman's withdrawal from the 2000 Democratic ticket places former Vice President Al Gore in jeopardy of having a "default" added to his loss
Friday, December 09, 2005
Friday 9 December 2005
Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Chris Rock Won't Be Hosting The Oscars This Year
9. Fearful that Ann Coulter will heckle and throw pies at him
8. Collin Farrell, Toby Maguire and Chris Penn threatened to kick his ass if he shows up
7. He's not part of the "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq"
6. Jude Law threatened the Academy with a lawsuit
5. ABC couldn't risk what he would say about "Brokeback Mountain" or "Memoirs of a Geisha"
4. Getting flak from American Family Association, because he had use of a leased Jaguar last year
3. Since people say he "bombed" last year, worried about Air Marshalls on flight out to Hollywood and what they might do
2. Holding out that he still has a chance to get named as another anchor of 'Nightline'
1. Kayne West was right; Bush Administration put some heat on Academy to get a white host this year
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Thursday 8 December 2005
Bush Team Miffed 'Podcast" Wins Word-Of-Year; Cites Media Lockout of Good News
Sponsored Three Words For Award; Apple To Issue Special Edition "Dictionary-Thick" iPod
It may become the new "war of words" as the New Oxford American Dictionary announced that "Podcast" is its' Word-of-the-Year, a move that has upset the Bush Administration.
White House Chief of Staff Andy Card said in a statement that "we are deeply disappointed".
The White House sponsored three words this year for the title of 'Word-of-the-Year; Terrorist, Karl Rove and, a late entry, National Strategy For Victory In Iraq.
'The White House, WHIG and a whole team of right-wing pundits made a tremendous effort", said Card. "We beat the drum long and loud for 'terrorist' and 'Karl Rove'. Though we came in late with the 'National Strategy entry, we believed it had the strength to rise up the ladder".
The White House was completely shut out of the awards, as Runners-up for the 2005 Word of the Year included "bird flu", "lifehack", "sudoku", "trans fat" and "persistent vegetative state".
Ironically, IED (improvised explosive device, such as a car bomb) was a Runner-up finalist, however that word was sponsored by Al-Qaeda.
In a candid interview with reporters, Card said "we did waiver a bit on 'terrorist'".
'The President wasn't as consistent with it as he could have been", admitted Card. "For awhile, he was running with 'global enemies' and there was the constant inter-changing with the word 'insurgents'. I think Rummy [Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld] finally put it out last week, that it was just plain old 'terrorists'".
Card lamented that Karl Rove "wasn't indicted" in the CIA Leak Case.
"That still may come to pass", said Card. "It it had happened earlier, or along with Scooter, I think it would have been a slam dunk we get the title".
Speaking officially for the President, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan said that "the President believes that the real story isn't getting out there".
"The President feels that the mainstream and liberal media in this country, as well as in Europe, are ignoring the tremendous effort and progress we are making in Iraq. Not winning Word-of-the-Year is just another example of being overlooked."
Apple Computer, according to a spokesperson, was "ecstatic" on having "podcast" enter the mainstream lexicon.
To celebrate the title, Apple quickly announced a new "Word-of-the-Year" iPod that will be release early in 2006.
Moving away from the standard, micro, paper-thin iPods, the "Word-of-the-Year" iPod will be "as thick as a dictionary" and have the capacity to "hold the contents of ten dictionaries, plus over 1-million songs".
"You could jump-start your car with the battery from this iPod", said the Apple spokesperson.
In releasing the new "Word-of-the-Year" iPod, Apple will also make available for downloading, dictionaries, from a new section in their iTune franchise, tentatively titled iWord. Only owners of the Special Edition "Word-of-the-Year iPod will be able to download from iWord, and can do so, either purchasing the entire dictionary, specific letters, or a la carte words.
In an exclusive photo provided to The Garlic, Apple Computer engineers work on the soon-to-be-released Special Edition Word-of-the-Year iPod, expected to be available in early 2006
Top Ten Cloves: Things Worse Than Ann Coulter Being Unable To Finish Her Speech At College
9. It will probably spur her book sales
8. Fodder for Hannity & Colmes to harp about for the next two-weeks
7. President Bush thinks of her as a "positive" in his "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq"
6. Actually, President Bush's new Iraq strategy just might allow her to "Christianize the Muslims at gunpoint"
5. Ann Coulter starting a speech
4. She has the potential to actually learn how to write and speak intelligently some day
3. Likely to become a Bill O'Reilly "Talking Points Memo"
2. In what has to be a sign of the End of Days, she marries Rush Limbaugh and they have children!
1. Since she's on Fox News programs so much, they actually give her a show of her own
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Wednesday 7 December 2005
Bush Cites Progress In Rebranding Iraq As Terror Center
WHIG Relieved As President Dismisses Critics and Media; Goes Retro To Tie In Pearl Harbor
Despite admitting of "some problems", President Bush today, in his second speech to define his "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq", went back to the original gameplan in branding the Iraq insurgency as "terrorists" and labeling, overall, that "we must recognize Iraq as the central front in the war on terror."
White House officials were nervous today, as the President gave his speech, to the Council on Foreign Relations - his first to a non-uniformed, military audience in recent memory. The President also abandoned his new term, "rejectionists" and returned to the straight-ahead title of "terrorists".
"We're still working on that", cited Dan Bartlett, Special Councilor to the President. "He's been so used to saying 'terrorist" that 'rejectionist' just doesn't roll off his tongue that easily".
The White House Iraq Group, led by Karl Rove and Andy Card, and whose members includes Karen Hughes, Mary Matalin, James R. Wilkinson, Nicholas E. Calio, Condoleezza Rice, Stephen Hadley (and,, formerly, Lewis (Scooter) Libby, issued a statement in which they stated "relief that the President hasn't put us out of business".
"We have too much invested," the statement read, "to have to backtrack at this point. There's a great deal of misinformation and smears that we've yet to release".
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, a WHIG member, also stayed on message yesterday, defending the Bush Administration's use of the secret prisions and "extraordinary rendition", warning European allies of withholding United States support if they insist on criticizing the United States anti-terror programs.
Invoking the Administration's original position of "you're either with us or against us", Rice told the European Union "That co-operation is a two-way street," arguing European lives had been saved as a result.
"It is up to those governments and their citizens to decide if they wish to work with us to prevent terrorist attacks against their own country or other countries, and decide how much sensitive information they can make public," she added
Bartlett indicated that all members of the Bush Administratioin "are on the job" and that "getting back to our core message is like riding a bicycle".
Yesterday, Vice President Cheney, in a speech at Fort Drum in northern New York got on message and offered additional support to the President's "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq", heavy-handedly dismissing critics, saying "a sudden withdrawal would be unwise in the extreme."
"To leave that country before the job is done would be to hand Iraq over to car bombers and assassins," he said.
The President used his speech today to refocus the publics attention that Iraq is the spot, as the Administration has contended, as the vortex of terrorism.
"The terrorists have made it clear that Iraq is the central front in their way against humanity," he said. "So we must recognize Iraq as the central front in the war on terror."
Senator John Murtha (D-PA), who has been openly critical of the Bush Administration's handling of the War in Iraq, and two-weeks ago, called for a stragegic, planned withdrawal is dismissive of the President calling Iraq "the centor front on the war on terror", citing U.S. Military data that says "only about 7%" of the attacks carried out in Iraq are from Al-Qeada and other terror groups.
The President surprised even the WHIG members by going off script in his speech today by tying in the attack on Pearl Harbor 64-years ago to the present fight against terrorism.
"Today, we mark the anniversary of a fateful day in American history," he said. "On Dec. 7, 1941, our peaceful nation awoke to an attack plotted in secret and executed without mercy."
The President added that the attack of Pearl Harbor roused "a great generation of Americans" and that the terrorist attacks of four-years ago would continue to be avenged.
As had been widely reported and covered, from both independent and Congressional investigations, no link between Saddam Hussein and the 9/11 attacks has ever been established.
Bartlett refused to comment on the President, and Administration repeated use of tying the Iraqi War to Sept 11th but did say it "was a nice touch, to bring in Pearl Harbor".
Washington Post Reporter and author Bob Woodward indicated that he "has heard of Pearl Harbor" and believes he "knows the full story" but has yet to advise is editors and colleagues of that information.
President Bush today, following his speech, introduced two new agents in his "Nationa Strategy For Victory In Iraq", indicating the pair is "pure dynamite".
Top Ten Cloves: Ramifications For Ford Motor Co. Dropping Advertising In Gay Publications
9. Continuing talks with American Family Association; Can offer juicy dirt on Chrysler if they leave Ford alone
8. Scared at least 15% of Ford Executives to stay in the closet
7. Sales people don't have to bother with the "Don't Ask/Don't Tell" part of the pitch
6. Can drop the optional "Mini-Liberace-Chandelier" for special-edition Jaguars
5. Still being hounded by Vatican, to get sales records of any priests that bought Land Rovers or Jaguars
4. Got strong endorsement from Tom Cruise, who said he'll keep driving his Jaguar
3. Working on spinning dropping Gay advertising is part of President Bush's new "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq"
2. Glad boycott called off but knows it will lose about 35% of sales to Conservative Christians who will protest the cancelled Ads
1. Stuck with 25,000 Melissa Etheridge-Edition Land Rovers
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Tuesday 6 December 2005
Cheney Backs DeLay At Fundraiser, Despite Upheld Charges
VP Promises Former House Leader "Strong Iraq Press"; Cheney Takes Cut From Gate For New "Bunker" Fund
Representative Tom DeLay's (R-TX) comeback was derailed yesterday as a Texas Judge let stand two substantial charges of money laundering, after dismissing a third charge of conspiracy to violate the election code by making an illegal corporate contribution.
The charges against DeLay, that forced him to resign from his House Majority Leader post, involve $190,000 of corporate donations that the state says was routed through Republican National Committee to Texas-based Republican political actions committees and then to Texas Republicans running for office in the Texas legislature.
According to the New York Times, Dick DeGuerin, DeLay's lawyer, said, "We won more than they did," contending that the remaining charges would be "impossible to prove."
DeLay denies the charges and, as a precautionary move, as reported by The Garlic, DeLay signed a deal with a Japanese firm to handle his money laundering.
"Tommy know more ways to skin an armadillo that anyone else in Texas", said Billy "Spurs" Hollingworth, editor of the newsletter, "On The Take", that tracks Tom DeLay.
In an effort to deflect the news that he will have to stand trial, DeLay got a boost of support from Vice President Dick Cheney, who appeared at a hurricane-postponed GOP fundraiser in Houston last night, singing the praises of DeLay, saying that "he valued the support Mr. DeLay has shown to the president and vice president in both the good times and difficult times. He's not a fair-weather friend."
The fundraiser had been scheduled for September, until Hurricane Rita struck, with the top-dollar tickets selling for $4,200.
In addition to praising DeLay, Cheney also offered the Bush Administrations support.
"I can tell you now", said the Vice President, "that the Iraqi press will be giving you very favorable coverage and, I will predict, that you will win the unanimous endorsement of every single newspaper over there".
As to the charges against DeLay, the Vice President laid blame on "the lying liberal media and that candy-ass, "#@%$!" Senator John McCain", drawing a boisterous response from the crowd.
Cheney, upon leaving the event, refused to confirm or deny that, over this past weekend, he held Senator McCain, against his will in the Secret Bunker, in an effort to have McCain drop his position against allowing any torture of captured terrorists.
DeLay will be facing former U.S. Congressman Nick Lampson, who served four terms in the U.S. House before his Southeast Texas district was redrawn to elect a Republican in a DeLay-engineered plan, in the 2006 Congressional Elections.
Cheney's appearance, and support, at the DeLay fundraiser was said to come at a steep price.
The Vice President, according to Hollingsworth, "was getting 40% of the gate".
"He's calling it 'The Bunker Fund'. It goes towards all the things they can't pay for over-the-table. The Iraqi media, the secret prisons and the legal fund, for Scooter Libby. I hear that they're building another fund to defend against the torture cases coming down the road".
In boasting of that the U.S. economy was "booming", President Bush cited that "even hats are very popular and selling extremely well this holiday season".
Top Ten Cloves: Things That Were Different With The White House Christmas Party Yesterday
9. They used the Lincoln Bedroom to torture suspected terrorists, but with a Holiday theme to it
8. Because of his pending trial, Jack Abramoff couldn't funnel in as much money to it this year
7. Instead of being kissed under the holly, person had to come with another reason to justify staying in Iraq
6. The Christmas Tree in the West Wing was just like the ones they'll be cutting down in Alaska when they begin to drill for oil
5. No punch this year - Former FEMA Director Michael Brown was supposed to bring it
4. Gifts were wrapped with Iraqi newspapers, but each had a personalized headline
3. Vice President Cheney was at Texas fundraiser for Tom DeLay but sent his #@$%#! Regards
2. White House Staff pitched in to get President Bush new DVD player- Old one was burnt out from over usage
1. Lewis 'Scooter" Libby was Santa Claus this year - it was the only way they could get him into the White House
Monday, December 05, 2005
Breaking News!
McCain Says Abducted and Grilled By Cheney; Won't Budge On Torture Ban
Held For Two-Days In Secret Bunker; Hadley Defends 'Discussion", Saying Part of New National Victory Strategy
Only hours before his appearance with Tim Russert, on NBC's "Meet The Press", Senator John McCain was released from Vice President Dick Cheney's Secret Bunker, after what McCain says was "two-days of being grilled" over McCain's efforts to ban the U.S. Military from torturing detainees.
The Arizona Republican, himself a victim of torture from when he was a prisoner-of-war during the Vietnam conflict, said that he "was held against my will" and "harshly interrogated and threatened' by the Vice Presidents and "at least three other people".
McCain says that it was suggested that he could be shipped to one of the CIA-run "Black Holes" if he didn't change his position and take the torture ban language out of pending legislation.
McCain has declined and refused to back away from the banning of torture.
McCain (R-AZ) has a pending amendment in the Senate that would ban torture and inhumane treatment of prisoners that Vice President Cheney opposes and has sought and lobbied for an exemption for the CIA and their covert "black holes".
McCain says he was invited by the Vice President to the Secret Bunker on Thursday evening, for dinner and "to talk". Upon his arrival, McCain says he was "drugged" with a pre-dinner cocktail and handcuffed to a chair. There, the grilling began, with Cheney and others verbally badgering McCain to "take out the torture ban".
McCain believes he "passed out" during the second day and only remembers being dropped off in front of the studio for his "Meet The Press" appearance.
While host Tim Russert made no mention of how McCain looked, blogger Arianna Huffington did, noting in her weekly "Russert Watch" column that "the marquee guest was John McCain. Or, should I say, "John McCain." The guy who showed up on Meet the Press this morning looked like McCain, but didn't sound like McCain …"
Stephen Hadley, Assistant to the President For National Security Affairs, was on ABC's "This Week," yesterday morning and defended President Bush's assertion that the United States does not torture detainees and follows international conventions on the treatment of prisoners.
When reached for comment on the McCain charges, Hadley did confirm a "dinner" that he attended on Thursday with McCain and the Vice President.
"It was a dinner and post-dinner discussion", offered Hadley. "Both Senator McCain and the Vice President have strong beliefs on this subject and it was a spirited talk at times. As to hold the Senator against his will, I can't say I witnessed that.
Hadley added that "if McCain was held and grilled" that it would likely be "part of the new National Strategy For Victory In Iraq" and "completely justified".
"Then again, as I can recount", said Hadley. "It was merely a dinner and a hearty, at time, fierce, debate by two great U.S. patriots".
Hadley also pointed out to the favorable coverage by the Iraqi media as to the "intelligence-gathering techniques" employed by the CIA and U.S. Military.
The White House announced today, that in order to reach a younger audience with the new "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq", President Bush recorded "a really def rap" version of it, that will run on MTV, VH! and other youth-oriented television programs
News In Brief 5 December 2005
Rumsfeld Blames Contractor, If Media Plant Stories True, But Defends Outsourcing Program
Says "Still Gathering Facts"; If It Turns Out Positive, Will Be Adopted Into New 'National Victory Strategy' Plan
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today clearly laid the fault of the placement of paid news stories in the Iraqi media at the feet of the private contractor, but did so with conditions.
In a speech, written by the Lincoln Group, at Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies, Rumsfeld indicated that "all the facts aren't known".
On Friday, The Garlic reported that the Central Intelligence Agency was running a network of "Blue Holes", newspapers at which detainees captured in the War Against Terrorism were forced into labor.
Rumsfeld refused comment on the report and did not mention the the "Blue Holes" in his speech or comments today.
'Goodness, this just dropped on us on Friday last," said the beleaguered Secretary. "That was two-days ago … Jeekers, we have channels to go through, time zones, translation issues. It could take months to get to the root of this".
Rumsfeld clarified his remarks, saying that it "will be the contractor's fault, if we get too much negative criticism". Rumsfeld stated that "so far, we haven't heard a pip" and, if it is deemed a positive move, the practice will quickly be placed in President Bush's new "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq".
Rumsfeld also defended his, and the Bush Administration's. escalation of outsourcing military and government operations to private contractors.
"This is too much to go into here", said Rumsfeld. 'There are many issues we have to deal with in going to war and mainting our troops while in battle. We've had tremendous, tremendous success with our Outsourcing Program … Even the Iraqi media has given us high marks for it".
Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard During Oprah's Visit To The Letterman Show
9. If he tries to get me to do "Will It Float?", I'm outta here!
8. You can tell Dave is excited, he's wearing his favorite white socks
7. I wonder if I could get Oprah to do a "Stupid Human Trick"?
6. Why did I do this? I should have invited Uma Thurman instead
5. Should I go out there? I mean, does he get any ratings anymore?
4. He's probably going to hit me up for some free 'Color Purple' tickets
3. Oh boy, now I know why I stayed away for 16-years
2. Biff, you're okay with doing this drag thing? …It's only if Oprah doesn't show up
1. What a ripoff? She's not going to give our audience cars!
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 3 December 2005
A leaked copy of the World Bank's Annual Report shows that, as part of his perk package, President Paul D. Wolfowitz is entitled to a sabre-carrying bodyguard for any and all public appearances
"Wait a minute, it will come to me ... They're not insurrgents anymore, they're not global terrorists ...Goodness, it's right on the tip of my tongue ..."
The Food and Drug Administration issued a warning this week, that excessive alcohol consumpation during the upcoming Holiday Season, can lead to health problems and "god awful hairdo's"
The California Department of Fish and Game solved a decades-old problem, one that will bring relief to millions of professional and weekend anglers, by capturing a rare photo of "the one that got away"
British tabloids are rife with speculation of "marital problems" and pub owners are irate as, since the new law that allows 24-hour alcohol sales, Prince Charles has been making the rounds, rarely going home and putting his drinks on the Buckingham Palace tab
As a measure to promote his new 'National Strategy For Victory In Iraq', and attempt to raise his plummeting approval ratings, President Bush will constantly have a billboard placed behind him to "remind the American people of the plan and that its' my plan, my timetable, my victory"
Additional news reports are surfacing, as The Garlic reported on Friday of the CIA "Blue Hole" newspapers, that along with writing pro-American stories, detainees are also being sent out to hawk the newspapers
Friday, December 02, 2005
Friday 2 December 2005
Paid News Scandal Widens; CIA Said To Run Network Of "Blue Hole" Newspapers
Detainees Forced To Work As Copy Editors Or Write Stories In Isolation; Old Typewriters With No Wite-Out Used
Following yesterday's screeching news that the Pentagon has awarded a contract to a public relations firm to plant news stories in Iraqi newspapers, and the White House confusing materials that allowed President Bush to give one of this faux news stories as his "National Strategy for Victory In Iraq", The Garlic learned this morning the CIA has maintained a covert and secret network of "Blue Holes", or newspapers, run by detainees in the Middle East and Eastern Europe.
Last month, the Washington Post uncovered that the CIA was running a secret, "Black Hole" prison system for captured terrorists.
The high-level government official, who doesn't have the approval to speak on record, indicated that, at times, detainees are moved from the "Black Holes" to the "Blue Holes". Typically, the source indicated, this is based on either the intellect of the prisoner, combined with his or her involvement in terror or level of crime, and, at other times, it is considered "a form of psychological torture to have these people write news copy praising American and the Iraq war effort".
These "Blue Hole" newspapers are said to be in Iraqi, Jordan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Romania, a site that was formerly in East Germany and up to three, or four other locations in provinces of the former Soviet Union.
'Conditions", said the government official, " in the blue holes are, generally, alittle better then the secret prisons, but they aren't someplace you or I would want to spend any time in".
After being captured, prisoners that are sent to the "Blue Holes" are indoctrinated, forced to read newspapers, books on newspapers and watching movies for days and nights on-end without sleep, such as 'His Girl Friday', 'Deadline USA',
'Ace in the Hole' (also known as 'The Big Carnival'), 'Meet John Doe', 'Parallax View' and others.
Detainees are said to then be forced into positions that many are not qualified for, yet expected to produce favorable results.
"At times, some of these people are put in isolation cells and forced to write or edit the news stories there, with no resources like a style book or, even a dictionary".
The equipment in these "Blue Holes" are, at best, antiquated. Detainees write with old, manual typewriters and, until a level of trust is developed, Wite-Out is withheld, meaning the prisoners are forced to rewrite stories hundreds of times before they are error-free.
There are unconfirmed rumors that Judith Miller, the former New York Times reporter who was jailed for 85-days in the CIA Leak Case, may have spent some of her prison time working in one of the "Blue Holes".
The White House had no comment on the news of the secret CIA newspaper, as the President's staff is still busy untangling the snafu that occurred yesterday.
When leaving to give his speech at the Naval Academy, President Bush was given the wrong folder, the "National Strategy for Victory In Iraq", that was actually intended for the 'Paid News" program run by the Lincoln Group, a Washington, D.C. public relations firm hired by the Pentagon. Lincoln has been writing, and translating into Arabic, news stories written by the U.S. Military and planting them in Iraqi newspapers.
As President Bush delivered the "National Strategy for Victory In Iraq", to a live audience, as well as the speech being carried by cable news outlets, the President alluded that anyone could "download the document from www.whitehouse.gov".
In Iraq, the Al Sabah newspaper ended up printing as a news story what was supposed to be the President's speech, a critical diatribe against the Democratic Party for "undermining the war effort" and directly personal attacks against Rep. John Murtha (D-PA), Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Sen. John Kerry (D-MA)
A spokesperson for the Central Intelligence Agency would neither confirm or deny if the CIA was running "Blue Hole" newspapers, indicating that, if they were, "that would be classified information" and, if they are not, "then there's nothing to comment on".
Washington Post reporter and author Bob Woodward said that he's known of the CIA "just about my whole life", but only recently admitted that knowledge to his colleagues and editor.
Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Bill Richardson Has Taken Off His Biography
9. Charley Finley got the idea for white cleats from him
8. Responsible for naming elephant mascot "Jumbo" while attending Tufts University
7. Runner-Up for the Heisman Trophy in 1965
6. Developed the first Slinky, then called the "Billy" but sold design to concentrate on being drafted by Kansas City Athletics
5. Choosing to go into politics, gave his plans for having successful talk show and media empire to, then unknown, Oprah Winfrey
4. He had the affair with Monica Lewinsky but President Clinton insisted on taking the hit for it
3. First brush with politics came sitting next to Churchill at the Potsdam Conference
2. Early partner of John DeLorean; First prototype of gull-winged car was called "The Richardson"
1. Upon his death, Truth or Consequences, New Mexico will change name to Bill Richardson, New Mexico
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Thursday 1 December 2005
White House "Embarrassed"; Bush Victory Strategy Speech Written By PR Agency
Gave President Wrong Folder; Iraqi Newspaper Prints Slams Against Murtha, Kerry, Pelosi
More evidence of a White House in turmoil was uncovered this morning as Chief of Staff Andy Card admitted that President Bush's "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq" speech yesterday was written by a PR Agency hired by the Pentagon.
Shortly after the President's speech on the status of the War in Iraq at the Naval Academy yesterday morning, news broke that a Washington, D.C. public relations firm, the Lincoln Group, has been hired by the Pentagon to write and plant stories in Iraqi newspapers, and other media, that offer a pro-American, optimistic slant on the war.
In a damaging comedy of errors, the President was handed a folder as he was rushed to Annapolis to deliver what was to be his standard "stay the course" speech, and to defend his policies with slamming put-downs of Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Representative Jack Murtha (D-PA) and Senator John Kerry (D-MA).
The folder the President received was the "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq" outline. The folder with his speech attacking the Democrats was faxed to Al Sabah, a major Iraqi newspaper.
"We screwed the pooch, that's for sure," said a depressed and embarrassed Card.
In Card's brief statement, blame was not placed on anyone specifically, as Card himself said that "I'll own up to the responsibility, I'll take the hit on this one."
Card also lamented "trying to sell a new product" at the end of November"against the crush of the holiday season".
The 'New York Times' is reporting that the Pentagon's first public relations contract with Lincoln was awarded in 2004 for about $5 million with the stated purpose of accurately informing the Iraqi people of American goals and gaining their support.
"But while meant to provide reliable information, the effort was also intended to use deceptive techniques, like payments to sympathetic "temporary spokespersons" who would not necessarily be identified as working for the coalition, according to a contract document and a military official"
According to the 'New York Times', this wasn't the only contract Lincoln has with the Pentagon,
"Last June, the Special Operations Command in Tampa awarded Lincoln and two other companies a multimillion-dollar contract to support psychological operations. The planned products, contract documents showed, include three- to five- minute news programs".
Adding to the White House woes, the President, in his speech, carried live by cable news networks, directed anyone listening that they could "download the 35-page "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq" report at "whitehouse.gov".
And in Baghdad this morning, residents woke up to screaming headlines on how "the Democrats were undermining the war effort".
"Until when, and if, Karl Rove or Dick Cheney gets indicted," said Harold "Ace" Larson, an analyst for the counterintelligence think tank, 'Book'em and Beat'em', "this is about the worst thing that could happen for Bush.
Former secretary of state Madeleine K. Albright said after the President's speech that "I so wish I could believe him. I like to believe an American president. But he's got such a credibility issue."
Muhammad Abdul Jabbar, the editor of Al Sabah, said that he thought "the copy was a bit unusual".
"We've printed a lot of the these stories from the American military before, so, as strange as it appeared, we thought there had to be some valid point to it and we ran with it."
Dan Bartlett, White House Communications Director, told a group of reporters that "damage control was already in place" and that changes were "already underway" to prevent such a error again.
"We're having Lincoln use different color folders when submitting their material", said Bartlett, "and, we've assigned a specific person to read the material and verify the distribution before letting it out of the office."
Jabbar stated that Al Sabah is "undecided" about running a correction and will "wait to see if the American advisors provide one".
Washington Post reporter and author Bob Woodward said that he knew "right after the war in Iraq started" that the United States would "eventually withdraw the troops" but withheld that information from his editor and colleagues.
So that the mission is clear and "everyone is on the same page", Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield has ordered that all U.S. Military personnel be tattooed with the new "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq"
Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger Named A Democratic His Chief of Staff
9. It's part of a new script, Total Recall II, where he loses his mind
8. Didn't want to take chances on any Republicans who might be likely to be indicted over the next year or two
7. Paris Hilton wasn't interested in the position
6. Insurance, if Bush's rating slide further, can switch parties without changing his staff
5. Years of steroid usage has finally kicked in
4. It was the 'Schwarzenegger House Ballot Measure"; Lost a bet to his wife
3. Part of his "California Strategy for Victory In Iraq"
2. Old Republican Chief of Staff got tired of having her ass slapped every time she walked by the Governor's desk
1. "I know I had a few drinks last night, but I did what?"
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Wednesday 30 November 2005
Breaking News
Iraqi Elections Face Delay; Dye Manufacturers Can't Meet Production Dates
Says Holiday Season Causing Overload At Plants; "Not Enough Purple Left To Meet Expected Vote Turnout"
As President Bush took the stage today, at the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, Md., to give a speech backing his new "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq" strategy released by the White House earlier this morning, word came down that the scheduled December 15th Iraqi elections may have be delayed, indefinitely, due to a lack of dye.
The Iraqis have used a purple dye to verify voters in their previous election, held last year.
A spokesperson for the American Dye Manufacturers Association (ADMA - We Color The World) confirmed that the White House was contacted today and advised that production overloads, due to the holiday season, will cause a back-up in producing enough purple dye to meet the expected voter turnout in Iraq.
"We're totally swamped right now", said Ted Gelona, ADMA spokesperson. "We're coming off Halloween and Thanksgiving, which is a big order period for our members and were run right smack into Christmas, or the holiday season, I'm not sure what we're calling it this year."
Gelona indicated that plants are running at full capacity, 24/7, just to meet standard, yearly orders, from producers such as Christmas ornaments, wrapping paper and "the punk rock and Metallica crowds, for their hair".
"Tinsel is also up there this year", said Gelona. "We've seen a huge spike in tinsel, and in many new colors. It's caused a big strain on the system".
There was no official comment from the White House after receiving the news. A flurry of activity was witnessed in the West Wing and local Washington D.C. office supply stores indicated a flood of calls and website hits, for items like magic markers and felt-tipped pens. There was one report of a Staples store in nearby Arlington, Virginia being cleared out by the Secret Service and White House interns entering to shop behind them.
In Iraq, President Jalal Talabani was reported to be "very irate", for both, hearing the news of no purple dye from the wire services and the likely potential of having to postpone the elections.
A spokesperson for the National Assembly indicated that "we only have a very small supply of purple dye left over … Not nearly enough for a national election."
In the President's new "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq," a 35-page document, there are no contingency plans for the supply of purple dye for Iraqi elections nor do any of the outlines for training the Iraqis calls for purple dye production.
A senior administration official indicated that "there isn't enough time to train the Iraqis to manufacture purple dye".
"The President again rejected setting a timetable for withdrawal," offered the official, "so, from a military view, the lack of dye doesn't have a great impact."
Gelona said that the ADMA is preparing to offer the Bush Administration and the Iraqi government a "discounted supply of discontinued colors" to meet the election demand.
"We have a good inventory of discontinued colors", said Gelona. "Enough for a few elections. But they'll have to mix-and-match, it just won't be all the same color. We have some pastels, that really didn't strike the public's fancy and we have some variations of green that, I think, was tied into a promotion when some Impressionist show was going on."
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reed (D-NV) was quick to criticize the purple dye shortage.
"I think it would be appropriate for the Iraq voters to have a bunch of different colored fingers," said Reed. "It would be a clear demonstration of this Administration's policies in Iraq and their ability to handle a detail like having enough purple dye".
In Washington, reporter and author Bob Woodward, in an article in today's 'Washington Post', admitted that he knew of the upcoming Iraqi elections "over a year ago" but didn't tell his editor or colleagues.
To dispel rumors of a White House in turmoil, Vice President Dick Cheney offered his public pledge to stand behind the new "National Strategy For Victory In Iraq" at a ceremony in the auditorium inside his Secret Bunker
Top Ten Cloves: Other Titles Considered For President's New "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq"
9. Mein Iraq
8. Extreme Makeover Special Edition: The Middle East
7. How George Bush Conquered Iraq and Freed The Middle East
6. For Internal Use Only - Halliburton's Revenue Projections For Rebuilding Iraq
5. Waiting for Fox News to get back to us with something snappy
4. The International Clean Sand Act
3. No title and no release, per Vice President Dick Cheney
2. Compassionate Nation Building
1. National Strategy For Bidding Time In Iraq Until Something Good Happens
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Tuesday 29 November 2005
Supreme Court Bids To Hear eBay Patent Case
Faces Tough Competition For Appeal; Budget May Hinder Ability To Meet Reserve Price
The Supreme Court signaled yesterday that they are entering the bidding to hear the appeal of a patent violation case against the online auction house, eBay.
A Federal Court judge refused to issue an injunction against eBay, on behalf of MercExchange, a small company in Great Falls, Virginia, after MercExchange won a 2003 case in which eBay was shown to have violated three patents and was awarded more than $25-Million in damages.
In refusing the injunction, Judge Jerome B. Friedman of Federal District Court, noted that MercExchange "exists solely to license its patents or sue to enforce its patents, and not to develop or commercialize them".
The United States Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit, a specialized court here that hears all appeals in patent cases, overturned the district court's decision this year and ruled that MercExchange was entitled to the injunction it sought.
In an unusual move, the appeals court, while granting a stay of its decision, ordered that the case be "put to bid" on eBay.
The Supreme Court faces stiff competition to win the bid to hear the case.
With a Reserve Price of $25-Million, there are presently seven bidders; three from China, two from Europe and two here in the United States.
One Chinese bidder reached by The Garlic, "PekingBob" said that his small village is attempting to enter the global economy and "getting this case would put us on the map".
Another bidder, "RomanianLoveChild" fronts a consortium looking to land the case for the European Union.
In the U.S. "PhiladelphiaDad", a venture capital banker, said that his firm wants the eBay case "as a means to bring the Federal Government back to it's true home, here in Philadelphia".
The other U.S. bidder, identified only as "Anonymous" refused to state any information about themselves but did indicate that, if they win the bid, they plan to podcast the hearing live, generating revenue by charging a fee to view and selling advertising.
They say also that they are working with Apple to develop a program of matching testimony in the case with iTunes offerings in real-time and that can be downloaded during the podcast and run as an accompanying soundtrack to the proceedings.
A spokesperson for the U.S. Supreme Court admitted that yesterday's announcement was only "proforma"
"We haven't actually won the bidding yet," said the spokesperson, "but we do need to place it in the schedule, to hold the date. If we don't win the bid, we simply drop it from the posting".
With court interns monitoring the bidding, in shifts, 24/7, one of the factors facing the Supreme Court's effort to win the bidding for the case is the Reserve Price.
"We don't have unlimited funds", said the court's spokesperson. "We'd have to get special clearance from the Justice Department to keep pace with the bidding if it goes over a certain level".
The spokesperson also indicated that representatives of the court are in talks with CSPAN, the E Network and Court TV as to potential partnerships and investment in order to raise additional funds to compete for the case. Congress stands ready to pass an emergency resolution that would allow for the Supreme Court to take on a partner.
The spokesperson did admit that the high court has already rejected offers of investment from now-former Congressman Randall "Duke" Cunningham and lobbyist Jack Abramoff.
Citing his committment to enforcing the new Immigration policies, President Bush said that he'll do whatever is necessary, including "I'll suit up and patrol the borders, if that's what it takes ..."
News In Brief 29 November 2005
Bush Fires Up New Immigration Plans; New Temp Workers Must Open Private SS Accounts
Says Congress Has Same Access To Borders; Woodward Knew of Illegal Crossing For 2-Years
In an effort to gain the high political ground within his own Republican Party, President Bush, in a speech at the Davis-Monthan Air Force Base in Tucson, Arizona, fired up a new immigration policy that defends his administration and will require newly documented temporary guest works to open private Social Security accounts.
"Illegal immigration's a serious challenge," Mr. Bush said, "And our responsibility is clear. We are going to protect the border."
The President defended his administration's immigration policies, saying that "the Congress has the same access to the border that we have."
In Washington, Vice President Dick Cheney said that it was "reprehensible" for anyone to cross the border illegally.
Representative Jean Schmidt (R-OH) said from the floor of the House that "Cowards cut and run, Border Patrol Agents don't".
In an effort to boost his sagging ratings, the President also announced a new Temporary Guest Worker Program, for the thousands of Mexican immigrants who want to work in this country and provide needed labor for many industries.
With an eye towards revitalizing his domestic agenda, the President indicated that the new Temporary Guest Workers will be required to open special private Social Security Accounts, which is a centerpiece of the President's plans ot overhaul the Social Security system.
"These private accounts", said the President, "will give these guest immigrants a future. They can invest the money they earn here as they see fit."
The President sees an opening that, should a portion of these temporary guest workers become U.S. Citizens, the special private Social Security accounts will be carried over and a base can begin building that will aide the President in pushing through his changes.
Both Arizona senators were in the audience for the President's speech. Senator John McCain co-sponsored a plan to give part the guest worker program a path to citizenship and Senator Jon Kyl has co-sponsored a bill to deny temporary workers a path to citizenship.
McCain has added an amendment to the bill funding the Temporary Guest Worker Program outlawing Border Patrol agents and the CIA from torturing any legal or illegal immigrants.
In a related matter, Washington Post reporter and author Bob Woodward disclosed to his editors that he knew, over two-years ago, that illegal immigrants were crossing the U.S. borders.
Top Ten Cloves: Why Time Magazine Is Allowing Their Reporter To Testify With Special Prosecutor
9. Made a deal so they wouldn't be fined for having illegal immigrant workers
8. Two reporters that testify - Bragging rights over the New York Times
7. Thinks Fitzgerald likes woman reporters better; Hopes to get inside scoop on investigation
6. Chance to turn the tables and smear Karl Rove
5. Baiting Maureen Dowd to slam her in column and boost Time's circulation
4. Unlike Bob Woodward, Viveca Novak advised her editors of talks with Rove's lawyer
3. Wants a screaming "Inside The Grand Jury" cover story for December
2. Will have excuse if Viveca punches out a fellow airline passenger
1. Hoping that Fitzgerald gets his Novaks confused and gives Viveca the second source Robert used
Monday, November 28, 2005
Monday 28 November 2005
Bush Team Denies Plans To Bomb Al-Jazeera
Just "Kibitzing" With Blair; Says Only Had Contingency Plans To "Revive Anthrax Scare Campaign"
After issuing statements last week, calling the reports "outlandish" and "absolutely absurd", White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, in a press briefing, flatly denied that President Bush called for the bombing of the headquarters of the Arab television network, Al-Jazeera.
"The President advocated no such action," said McClellan. "After a long meeting, President Bush and Prime Minister Blair, were talking, kibitzing and joking around. Any remarks suggesting the bombing of Al-Jazeera were just non-sensical humor on the part of the President."
McClellan indicated that a self-depreciating comment attached to the remark went unreported.
"The President finished his comment on Al-Jazeera, saying that the military wanted the President to deliver the bomb by bicycle, but then ruled that out, fearing that, God-Knows-What, would end up being the targeted."
As was widely reported last week, back in April of 2004, President Bush allegedly told British Prime Minister Tony Blair of his desire to bomb the Al-Jazeera television station in Qatar. According to sources, Blair talked Bush out of such action, saying it "would cause a big problem."
The Arab television network, which began broadcasting in 1996, has been a source of disdain for Western governments, for their stories and images from a pro-Muslim viewpoint, including behind-the-lines reports of civilian casualties, as well as terrorist footage of beheadings and messages from Al-Qaeda and Osama bin-Laden.
Al-Jazeera, based in downtown Doha, the capital of Qatar, is the only independent television station operating in the Middle East and has a global audience that rivals the BBC. Despite the controversy of its' content, the station was recently voted the fifth most influential global brand behind Apple, Google, Ikea and Starbucks.
The Bush Administration thought the story would die with the initial explanation and denial, however, over the weekend, various British media and publications have threaten to publish the transcripts of the conversation between Blair and Bush, prompting the British Government to say they would impose the Official Secrets Act. Already, two civil servants have been charged with violating the act for allegedly disclosing the document.
McClellan also denied that the United States had plans to contaminate Al-Jazeera with Anthrax.
"That is a total fabrication," said McClellan. "We have no plans to revive the Anthrax Scare Campaign."
The Anthrax Scare Campaign was last used in the weeks following the terrorist attack of September 11th.
Beginning exactly one-week later, September 18th, letters containing a high grade of Anthrax were mailed to ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, the New York Post and the National Enquirer. A few weeks later, on October 9th, Anthrax letters were mailed to two Senators, Tom Daschle (D-SD) and Patrick Leahy (D-VT).
There were 22 infections and five deaths related to the Anthrax letters mailed.
During this time, while the nation was both paralyzed and transfixed over the Anthrax attacks, the Bush Administration and Justice Department rounded up and jailed hundreds of Arab-Americans for questioning, and pushed through Congress the Patriot Act.
McClellan would only say that the Anthrax Scare Campaign was one of "hundred-and-hundreds" contingency plans the government has and "when dealing with the terrorist threat, nothing is off the table".
"Vice President Cheney thought it to be reprehensible, that we would waste our Anthrax supply on the citizens of Qatar. We have no beef with Qatar."
McClellan went on to say that the Administration "wouldn't be surprised", if in Congressmen Murtha's immediate withdrawal plans, "something happened to Al-Jazeera."
'We have heard of some Far left plots … A stray rocket strike, or tank shell hits Al-Jazeera and they turn around and blame the President. That sounds like something Michael Moore would dream up."
Answering Republican charges that he's "out of his mind", Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) interupted a press conference to ask the assembled media if a UFO was hovering behind him.
Breaking News!
O'Reilly, Al-Qaeda In Heated Argument Over SF Targets
Strike Date, Debut of 'Muslim Factor' In Jeopardy Over Dispute
Over the Thanksgiving Holiday, Fox News television and radio host Bill O'Reilly got into a heated argument with representatives of Al-Qaeda, over the proposed targets for the terror group to hit in San Francisco.
Earlier this month, O'Reilly, broadcasting his Westwood One radio show on Election Day, made comments about the San Francisco ballot measure opposing the presence of military recruiters in city schools.
"Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead," O'Reilly said, according to transcripts of the program.
O'Reilly continued.
"And if al-Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead,"
Coit Tower, a tribute to firefighters, is the 1933 San Francisco landmark that sits atop Telegraph Hill.
Sources say that Al-Qaeda contacted O'Reilly and indicated they would like to talk with him about San Francisco
According to Eddie Mars, editor of 'Please Shoot Me', the newsletter that tracks the Fox News Channel, O'Reilly and three representatives of Al-Qaeda met at the Buena Vista Café, at the bottom of Hyde Street in San Francisco, the legendary watering hole, famous for introducing Irish Coffee's to the United States in the 1950's.
The Al-Qaeda members reportedly quizzed O'Reilly on how he knew of their plans to, potentially hit San Francisco. They then discussed the various targets and related to O'Reilly that Coit Tower wasn't that appealing to them.
"O'Reilly got upset," says Mars. "He was insisting that, if they hit the city, they need to take out the tower."
The Al-Qaeda members said that they had on their list the Trans-Am Pyramid Building, the famous Cable Car System and Pier 39, simply because they found it be a "cheap tourist trap" and an "arcade of sin".
At this point, according to Mars, O'Reilly got into an argument with another Buena Vista customer, who, in overhearing some of the conversation, asked the talk show host if he "had any loofah sponges in shape of Coit Tower", a reference to the sexual harassment suit O'Reilly settled in 2004.
A brief scuffle ensued, with O'Reilly and the patron throwing punches at each other, before management moved in to break up the pair. O'Reilly reportedly threatened the café that he was "with some people that could turn this place into splinters".
Before the meeting broke up, O'Reilly allegedly offered a comprise to Al-Qaeda, suggesting they "take out" Al Franken, in exchange for a few favorable "Talking Points Memo" on his nightly Fox News program. Al-Qaeda rejected the offer, citing there "wasn't a big economic impact to San Francisco or the United States" in eliminating Franken.
Mars reports that O'Reilly also met with Al-Jazeera while in San Francisco.
The Arab news network, recently said to be a target for bombing by President Bush, is rumored to be ready to launch an O'Reilly-style "Muslim Factor" program, to report and spin the politics of the Middle East.
Al Jazeera is interested in having O'Reilly as a consultant for the program, and to teach it's host how to act "smug and arrogant" and to "dismiss guests with thoughtful but opposing viewpoints".
Top Ten Cloves: Things President Bush Is Thankful For Every Day
9. Rep. Jean Schmidt; Cheney and GOP can milk her smear a few more weeks
8. His good buddy, Bob Woodward, keeping quiet for two-years (but I suppose he'll want to do another book and interview me)
7. Only in Crawford for a few days, so didn't have to extert himself that much avoiding Cindy Sheehan
6. That Pamela Anderson website the Secret Service guys showed me
5. Al Gore, The Supreme Court and John Kerry
4. News media didn't get footage of him trying to use the doors in Brazil a few weeks ago
3. The British Official Secrets Act
2. The DVD Machine; What a great thing that let's me get caught up on the issues I'm supposed to be working on
1. Republican-controlled Congress, or my ass would have been impeached by now
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Top Ten Cloves: Things About Thanksgiving This Year
9. In his hearing Terrell Owens said he meant to say that he'd rather have Brett Favre cook dinner than Donovan McNabb
8. FEMA is still waiting for the mayors and governors to call before they deliver the Thanksgiving MRE's
7. Bill O'Reilly's favorite way to cook a turkey is just like himself - Half-Baked
6. Jean Schmidt said "turkeys cut and run, but not first-year junior senators from Ohio who smear their colleagues"
5. Bob Novak doesn't plan on carving his turkey this year, he's going to punch out the slices
4. "You don't typically spread the gravy with a knife, do you?"
3. Your 16-year-old techno geek cousin is video-podcasting the dinner
2. In his Holiday Radio Address, President Bush claims that Congress got same cornbread stuffing recipe that he got
1. Not only is the turkey a Butterball, but it was also water boarded by the CIA
Vice President Dick Cheney is planning on having Thanksgiving Dinner in his Secret Bunker, using a secret recipe and hosting an undisclosed list of guests
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Tuesday 22 November 2005 Happy Holiday!
Happy Holiday Garlic Fans!
The Garlic is breaking early for the Thanksgiving Day Holiday, and will resume the beat on Monday, 28 November 2005.
Here's to you and your families, both close and extended, to have a very happy and safe Thanksgiving Holiday.
During this break, take some time and review the Archives of The Garlic, below, on the right, and share with your friends and family. Tell them they can sign up for the Daily Postings via Feedblitz.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Peace
JTD
Monday, November 21, 2005
Monday 21 November 2005
Breaking News!
Murtha Calls For Cheney To Withdraw From Secret Bunker
Says VP Needs To "Be Accountable"; GOP Launching Full Assault; Schmidt To Interview With Rove
Just three days after calling on President Bush to begin withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq, citing there was "nothing to be gained militarily", Representative John Murtha (D-PA) lobbed another bomb on the administration by demanding that Vice President Dick Cheney vacate his Secret Bunker.
'The American people are eager to see our Vice President," said an agitated Murtha. "This is not time to be hiding, or to be running secret cabals and secret meetings that effect our nation."
The Garlic reported last month of a Secret Cabal run out of the Vice President's Secret Bunker, where member of the administration and also the White House Iraq Group have been meeting to run their Iraq Policy, and direct the smearing of the critics of that policy
Murtha said that the Vice President "needs to be accountable for his actions" and that he "needs to explain why he wants the United States to torture people."
"Vice President Cheney needs to stop hiding behind walls, or letting his staff take the blame."
Last month, Cheney's Chief of Staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was indicted on five felony counts in the CIA Leak Case and many in Washington are speculating that Libby took the charges in order to protect his boss, the Vice President.
Ironically, on the evening in which Murtha slammed the administrations Iraq policy, and made his direct appeal to the President, Cheney made a rare public appearance, delivering a speech at the Frontiers of Freedom Institute, defending the Administration's use of their version of pre-war intelligence, and calling the Democrats criticism of it "one of the most dishonest and reprehensible charges ever aired in this city,"
As reported by The Garlic, Cheney's foray into Washington D.C. caused widespread panic, with the D.C. Police Department and Homeland Security going into full alert mode, after being flooded with calls from people sighting the Vice President.
In calling for the nation's troops to return home, Murtha, a former highly decorated Marine, said, with tears in his eyes that "our troops have become the primary target of the insurgency. "Islamic insurgents are united against U.S. forces, and we have become a catalyst for violence," he said.".
The Republican controlled Congress and the GOP immediately attacked Murtha.
Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) declared: "Murtha and Democratic leaders have adopted a policy of cut and run, while White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan criticized Murtha for "taking the policy position of Michael Moore"
In Congress, Representative Jean Schmidt (R-OH) drew a heated and angry response from House Democrats are she stated she had received a call from a Marine colonel, who "asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message: that cowards cut and run, Marines never do."
Schmidt later retracted her statement, only after the House exploded in a chorus of booing and jeering.
Taking note of Schmidt was White House Deputy Council Karl Rove. sources close to the White House said that Rove was "impressed" with Schmidt and "could have room for her on the team." Schmidt is said to be scheduled for a meeting with Rove, sometime before the Thanksgiving Holiday break.
After he was criticized for his comments on pulling out of Iraq, Murtha was asked what he thought of the remarks.
Murtha, replying sarcastically said that "I like guys who got five deferments and [have] never been there and send people to war, and then don't like to hear suggestions about what needs to be done."
Murtha is a decorated Vietnam War veteran. President Bush served in the Texas Air National Guardsman, but never left the United States during the Vietnam War. Vice President Cheney did not serve in the military.
Murtha indicated he will seek a special House panel to "investigate and expose" the Vice President's Secret Bunker.
In a related matter, the Vice President's office declined comment on Murtha's charges and in a brief statement indicated that "since, with conducting torture, one expends a certain amount of energy, the Vice President's thoughts, notes and policies regarding torture have been incorporated into his Energy Meeting notes and, therefore, will remain private."
"Condi, I hate to be the one to tell you, but those emails were fake ... Bogus ... Match.Com is being sued over it ..."
Top Ten Cloves: Match.com's Reponses To Fraud Charges In Setting Up Fake Dates
9. Look at it this was, it was kind of like an Extreme Makeover project, but for dating
8. Are you kidding, this has been unbelievably! … Over 200,000 members asked if we'd send them a bogus, romantic email
7. At least we're not doing what Yahoo is … Our people are real
6. We believe we have the power for such policy under the Patriot Act
5. Actually, this is all part of a special episode of Ashton Kutcher's 'Punk'd' program
4. Sorry, the bogus romantic emails are now part of Vice President Cheney's Energy Meeting notes, so no-can-see
3. Okay, a few of the emails, like the one's from Jessica Alba, Rachel McAdams and Paris Hilton, might have been fake
2. Let's face it, some of our customers couldn't catch the bird flu if they lived on a farm in Asia
1. We're meeting with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice tomorrow, to personally apologize to her
