Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Screw Up On Your First Day As U.N. Ambassador

10. Plug in that annoying British ring tone to your cell phone

9. Put in a motion to suspend business for the day so you can hit the Yankee game

8. Keep calling "Kofi" Annan, "Coffee Annan"

7. Scare the bejeezes out of them, telling them, after you, Arnold Schwarzenegger will be the next appointee

6. Mock the French ambassador, asking him when will a French racer win the Tour de France

5. Sucker punch and kick the crap out of the North Korean diplomat

4. Look to see what ambassadors are listed in "Who's Who" so you can feed Bob Novak leads

3. Lop off the top 10 floors of the building

2. Try to pay for your lunch in the cafeteria with a barrel of oil

1. Holding hands with Saudi diplomat sign of respect; Pinching is ass isn't

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