Top Ten Cloves: Things That Could Go Wrong With The Pentagon Monitoring The Media In Iraq

News Item: Pentagon Moves Toward Monitoring Media

10. New CBS Anchor Katie Couric gets her first big scoop, that military generals are many pounds heavier due to Pentagon airbrushing their photos

9. End up recommending to President to invade France, citing the reams of news reports and internet chatter about “Paris”

8. Whole program crashes the first time they monitor and fact check an Ann Coulter piece

7. May make reporters dip fingers in purple ink after writing a good story

6. Situation in Iraq gets further bogged down when terrorists start flooding media with fake news stories

5. Could lead to retired newspaper editors joining with retired generals in calling for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to resign

4. Having to use the word “Byline” will make a number of generals uncomfortable, believing they may be violating the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy

3. Thought new policy was “Adapting To Win”; Monitoring media seems more like “Staying The Course”

2. Major scandal, when program it is exposed that Secretary Rumsfeld is just trying to find out who the appeasers are

1. Hmmm ... What exactly are we going to monitor? Aren’t we already paying the media in Iraq to write good stories?

The Pentagon is said to be sparing no expense and employing propriatary, state-of-the-art equipment and resources for monitoring the media in Iraq