News Item: VeepTalk; or, a Crock of Clinton
10. Claim Eliot Spitzer as an Obama Superdelegate
9. Fill in as host of Tucker, after Tucker Carlson leaves show
8. Get Rush Limbaugh to urge his listeners to vote Obama
7. Rub his stomach and his head, at the same time, for at least 5-minutes
6. Take a trip with Sinbad and Sheryl Crow
5. Get the 3AM Sleeping Girl to switch and say she's a Clinton supporter
4. Give Tina Fey a good "Bitch Slapping"
3. If he really has the cojones to be Commander in Chief, criticize Chelsea Clinton
2. Have at least one, good crying jag before one of the remaining primaries
1. Go and beat up Admiral Fallon, for not wanting to attack Iran
Bonus Hillary Riffs
Frank Rich: The Audacity of Hopelessness
Good Thing Frank Rich Doesn't Work For MSNBC!
Edward Copeland: A trip down Hillary lane -- 2006 edition
Sam Youngman: Clinton camp says Obama must pass 'national security threshold' to be veep
Hillary's Smelling Burning Rubber! Or: The Garlic Was Right - Hillary Has Built Her "Field of Voices"