Top Ten Cloves: Things About NASA Crashing Rocket Into Moon

News Item: NASA scientists crash rocket into the Moon in search for water

10. This was NASA's first "Twitter" mission - All programming codes were 140 characters, or less

9. Moon immediately appealed to Obama Administration, for Stimulus Funds, to repair area where rocket crashed

8. Crash ended up cutting off Dr. Edgar Mitchell's phone line

7. Reason looking for water on Moon is to find place to extradite Neocon Dolphins to

6. Not sure why, but David Letterman apologized for rocket crashing into Moon

5. Crash wasn't intended - Astronauts drunk again

4. Big Hoax ... Just a stunt to get new footage for "Star Wars in Concert" show this Fall

3. Wasn't actually a NASA Mission, but a left-over prank from Yuri Night

2. It's really a Quid Pro Quo - Moon will crash rocket into Oklahoma, looking for signs of intelligence

1. Even Man-On-Moon was asking "Why did Obama win Nobel Peace Prize?"


Bonus Links

NASA Almost Missed Photo Coverage Of Shuttle Mission; One-Hour-Photo Corp. Aids Agency; Builds Stand Inside Cape Canaveral

Top Ten Cloves: Most Surprising Things NASA Discovers With Deep Impact and Comet Tempel 1

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things That NASA's Cassini May Find On Saturn's Moon Enceladus

Top Ten Cloves: How Bush Administration Reacted To News of The Death Star Galaxy

All I Want For Christmas Is ... A Killer Asteroid?

Neocon Dolphins? ... Say It Ain't So, Flipper!

This was a rather jarring headline that caught my eye yesterday;

Killer dolphins baffle marine experts

Say what? ... Killer dolphins?

Was The World Weekly News back in business?

After quickly looking, to see if this was, in any way, emanating out of Fox News (it wasn't, it's from Telegraph.co.uk), I felt it had some credibility.

New evidence has been compiled by marine scientists that prove the normally placid dolphin is capable of brutal attacks both on innocent fellow marine mammals and, more disturbingly, on its own kind.

Confirmation of the murders came by way of two shocking films shot by holidaymakers.

The first was initially believed to show a dolphin fishing for salmon - until closer examination revealed a relentless attack on a porpoise, its body spinning round with such force that its back was broken and its soft tissue shattered.

Marine experts now believe that these displays of attacks on non-rival, non-predatory, peace-loving porpoises and, more shockingly, of dolphin infanticide, may have always taken place.

Yikes!

Say it ain't so, Flipper!

What about all those water park shows, with chippering, playful dolphins jumping through hoops, and having little toddlers placed on their backs? ... Is this just a ruse, a seduction, sucking us in before the big attack?

Will Shamu protest, demanding to keep top billing? Or demand protection?

Do we now have to face having a breed of Neocon Dolphins?

Dolphins that attack for no reason ... Dolphins making preemptive attacks on innocents ...

Now, we know the Bush Grindhouse once wanted to deploy polar bears in Iraq, have they been secretly training, breeding these killer dolphins? Are they the unheralded components of The Commander Guys' unbelievable successful surge?

Is Cheney's office, or the Joint Chiefs of Staff, burning the midnight oil, toiling over how to get all the Iranians in the water, so the dolphins can do their work?

Will there be a kipper-tape parade down 5th Avenue when they come home?

Hmmm ... Even better ... Who can beat down and save us from these renegade, killer, Neocon dolphins?

Can you smell Rambo V?


Bonus Fish Tales

Mystery of the killer dolphins

Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina

Attack of the Killer Dolphins (Maybe)

The evolution of a dubious war hero; Rambo's a tragic victim of Vietnam, or a fierce warrior, or a reluctant invader. Whatever his audience needs from a war movie right now