Sorry Elvis, Tests Prove Bat Boy Love Child Of President Bush Is The Winner ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

We tried to give him an edge. We kept the poll open an extra day, so that, maybe, his legions of fans would swoop in to vote him to the top of the list.

We, so much, wanted to have a blazing headline - Elvis Caught On NSA Wiretaps! Plans Comeback - With Lindsey Lohan!

We did it to tie into today, this day, the anniversary day, when the King left us ... The Day Elvis Died.

But in heavy, and spirited voting, cooler heads prevailed ... The one's with their fingers on the pulse ... The one's who know came out on top ...

And the winner is ... Tests Prove Bat Boy Love Child Of President Bush!

Who says it isn't true?

Sure would like to be a fly-on-the-wall during that press conference.

Who was the President in a tryst with? When and where? ... Was it his office wife, Condi Girl? ... Was there more going on, last year, than a mere neck rub with German Chancellor Angela Merkel? ...Did he and Tony Blair adopt? ... Is Bat Boy the reason Turd Blossom resigned? ... All those secret locations the Vice President was moving around to to, was that to keep Bat Boy out-of-sight?

I guess we'll have to wait for that final World Weekly News to give us the 411 ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll August 7 - August 14, 2007

The World Weekly News is shutting down ... It's final headline should be ...

1. Tests Prove Bat Boy Love Child Of President Bush Tally 29%

2. Iowa Man Powers Car With Dead Wife's Hair Tally 22%

3. Space Aliens Warn, If Hillary Elected, Will Destroy Earth! Tally 21%

4. Elvis Caught On NSA Wiretaps! Plans Comeback - With Lindsey Lohan! Tally 19%

5. Bigfoot Says Has Secret Plan To End Energy Crises Tally 9%

This week’s Poll - Fearful of China, the Bush Grindhouse is calling Mattel's Toy Recall ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Bonus Links

Telegraph.co.uk: What if Elvis Presley had never been born?

Goodbye Bat Boy! ... Rumors True, World Weekly News Shutting Down!