Monday, April 16, 2007

Chopped Garlic ... Of Virginia Tech ... The Right To Bear Arms ... And Barry Crimmins

First and foremost, The Garlic wants to extend our prayers and sympathy to the victims and families of those killed and injured in today's - and yet another - senseless outburst of gun violence.

There was an interesting merger this afternoon, as I watched the wall-to-wall cable news coverage of the horrible tragedy that took place at Virginia Tech today.

CNN's Jack Cafferty just finished rattling off a list of school shootings, going back to the 1966 and Charles Whitman and then noted that he could not cite a single instance of such carnage being reported in other countries. Cafferty declared such shootings as uniquely American and, rhetorically asked what made that so.

Well, Jack, for one right off the top of the head, is the readily and easily accessibility of handguns in this country.

With an army of politicians, corporations, organizations and good ol', flag-waving, gun-toting, red-blooded Americans, who resist any controls or bans, they keep said guns flying off the factory production lines and into the hands of anyone that wants one.

No word if the First Lady was "discouraged" by what happened today, but earlier in the day, the Chief Decider had to weigh in and assure the base, that despite the horror and mounting death toll coming out of Virginia Tech, he still stands for the American Way, and "As far as policy, the President believes that there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed."

What a loaded line that is ... "All laws must be followed".

Then, the telephone rang and it was friend, and America's best satirist, Barry Crimmins, who was watching the same news.

Crimmins, who penned a most heart-felt letter-to-the-editor in The Boston Globe this past weekend, over the passing of Kurt Vonnegut, had written a fall-on-the-floor-laughing comedy routine back in the 1970's on gun control.

In the opening of the routine, Crimmins would announce that he was a proponent of gun control, and then, parenthetically, and remedially, explain to any NRA members in the audience, that meant he was for it.

Crimmins would go on, saying that, yes, the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution says we have the right to bear arms.

Fine. Then make it so that whoever wants to bear arms, bear arms from 200-years ago.

He would riff that it would be pretty difficult to walk into a 7-11 with a concealed musket under your coat. And, on the plus side, if you were going to commit a crime with a musket, you probably would only get off one shot before being subdued, due to the cumbersome mechanics of reloading a musket.

But Crimmins didn't just make jokes about the deadly gun violence, he also offered a sensible alternative.

Baseball Bats.

With baseball bats, he pointed out, some three-or-four-year-old, when he or she digs around in Dad's closet, pulls out a baseball bat, and, at worse, gets a lump on his or her head, rather then having a bullet blaze through it.

What a far, far better world it would be, if Crimmins' concept had been adopted.

Schools would make the national news and cable blizzards, perhaps, for the academic accomplishments of their students, not for - and yet again - setting a new standard for death by gun violence.


Barry Crimmins

Barry Crimmins On The Garlic

It hasn't been your cold dead hands, Charlton, but rather thousands of innocent peoples', who've had their lives snuffed out

1 comment:

C.J. said...

Garlic, your one dumb ass idiot. First off guns are not so readily & easily available as you may think, the first step in being a legal law abiding gun owner is to apply for and get approved for a foid(firearm owners identification)card for those of you who don't know that. When you apply for one you have a 1 to 2 month waiting period(on average)so law enforcement can do thier back ground checks on you to make sure you DO NOT have a criminal record or warrents. If you do, you are automaticlly declined and most likly they will be knocking on your door because i am 99% sure you just committed a feloney.If you do get a foid card and you go to purchase a gun or rifle you again have a waiting period for more back ground checks before you can finally take possession of it. Now as far as all these shootings that are going on, if your to blind to notice or are just that stupidly naive that you can't face the fact that all of these shootings are taking place in schools, communities, cities, and/or states that have banned any and all firearms so that no one has the ability to defend themselves or anyone else for that matter. Do you see any of this happening in areas that are pro 2nd amendment and especially in places that allow people the "right to carry"? NO!! Another thing if you haven't noticed or don't want too is that almost everyone of these people and i'll bet that's 99% of them that are doing the shooting, ILLEGALLY have those guns; meaning they do not have a foid card because they know they can not get one most likely because of thier background. There fore the only way for them to get a firearm is to a.) steal it or b.)buy it illegally under the table so to speak. In which case the one who is doing the selling knowingly to these criminals is an even bigger criminal, and until we start cracking down and severally punishing all of those people no matter who they are, it will just continue. Every one of them are nothing more than low life pieces of maggot scum who basically has no care or concern for anybody but themselves or the law and they definitelly have no respect life in general. That is what sets us God fearing, law abiding, proud American's especially those of us who are also proud NRA members who so steadfastly defend and vigorously fight to protect our 2nd Amendment let alone our "Bill of Rights" from those low life scum along with the idiots who use heartless crimes to strip our rights and freedoms one amendment at a time. One good example is in Great Britten; they banned any and all firearms, they didn't care if it was pasted down through the family and was inoperabile they still confiscated it. So now the people have no way to defend themselves, thats great for the criminals plus they get thier guns illegally so there's no record of them having'em. Now, not only has the crime rate(muggings, rape, burglery, and murder) went through the roof but now knife attacks and stabbings are sky- rocketing, so now what are talking about doing???? They have been talking about banning any and all knivies that have any kind of a point on it. Is that what you would want garlic? what's next? axes, baseball bats, hammers, vehicals, pens, and pencils, these are just a small list of what could be used as weapons if a person were to choose to use these objects for the soul intent of hurting or killing someone. Hell if thats the case you might as well let Chuck Norris know you are going to take away his hands and feet.