Friday, October 23, 2009

Top Ten Cloves: Surprising Things Found In Microsoft's Windows 7

News Item: Review: Windows 7 Is Microsoft’s Best Yet

10. Obama's Birth Certificate

9. The Lost David Letterman Apologies

8. Not sure how, but everytime you use Windows 7, Goldman Sachs employees get bigger bonuses

7. A robust, public healthcare option

6. Even with add-ons, the whole Windows 7 isn't as as big as that Ralph Lauren model's head

5. Your Windows 7 program may, suddenly, take up war with Faux News

4. A special Jay Leno "!0 at 10" with Bill Gates

3. A weird programming fluke allows you to see the CIA file on Lee Harvey Oswald

2. Falcon Henne, hiding

1. Only out 2-days, and it's already editted the Vista entry on Wikipedia, to say how great it was

Bonus Microsoft Riffs

John Battelle: Ballmer Throws A Chair At "F*ing Google"

Google Fires Back At Ballmer ... Microsoft Omitted From Searches; Google Maps Highlight Home

Breaking News! President Makes Unannounced, Surprise Visit To Redmond Tech Giant

Top Ten Cloves: Other Surprising Things Found With Microsoft’s New Windows Vista Software

Trouble Keeping The Lies Straight?

It's there, for anyone to look up, between testimony, media, documents, the prolific amount of lying conducted by The Bush Grindhouse.

It is such that, we could expect lightening to hit them, if they ever told the truth about anything.

So, maybe, The Commander Guy, was thinking about his his "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List, or a DVD he recently rented, when he let loose with another, in a long list of, faux pas;

Bush: I regret standing in front of the ‘Mission Impossible’ banner.

Bush also said that he regretted appearing in front of a “Mission Impossible” sign in 2003 during an address about the Iraq war. Of course, the sign actually said “Mission Accomplished.” Maybe “Mission Impossible” would have been more appropriate.

You can read more in "Shoes fly as George W. Bush speaks in Montreal".

Somehow, the Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show will find a way to blame his "foot-in-mouth" on Obama, or the liberal media.

The Stupidest Man in the World could wear a "I'm With Stupid", t-shirt, pointing to The Decider Guy.

Bonus Commander Guy Riffs

It Will Never Be A Happy "Mission Accomplished" Day

Still Utterly Clueless

The Narrative Continues To Build!

For The Want Of A Lie ...

Where's That Apple Runner When You Need Her?

Well, It's A Destiny of Sitting at The Presidential Kids Table

This Date ... On The Garlic

23 October 2008... On The Garlic

Nancy Puss'n'Boots To Tweety: I'll Take "Looking Stupid" for $500"!

Time To Make The Donuts!

23 October 2007... On The Garlic

Yet Another "I'm Shocked ... Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here ..."

Extra! Extra! Crimmins Scoop On Giuliani!

Obit: Former Packer Max McGee Dead At 75; Out Partying The Night Before, Not Expecting To Die

23 October 2006... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic - New Keith Olbermann Special Comment - Advertising terrorism

Top Ten Cloves: Surprises Found In Discovery Of Ancient Dentist Tombs In Egypt

Thursday, October 22, 2009

They're not ALL "historical documents"

Brandon's Mom: Where are you going with those fireworks?

Brandon: Well, the Protector got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole, and it, like, nailed the atmosphere at Mach 15, which, you guys know, is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles for visual confirmation.

From 'Galaxy Quest'

There's going to be a lot of mouths agape, furtive, knowing glances, muffled shouts of glee;

"It's real ... See, I told ya ... It's real ..."

What is all this tomfoolery, you say?

Preview: 'Star Trek: The Exhibition' comes to San Jose

It's all there: phasers, communicators, the bridge of the Enterprise, a transporter, a Borg cube, even a Tribble.

On Friday, the Tech Museum in downtown San Jose will open "Star Trek: The Exhibition," billed as the largest-ever exhibit of sets, costumes, original props and priceless museum pieces from the five TV series and 11 movies that make up the "Star Trek" canon. And the show — making its only Bay Area stop here — covers the full "Star Trek" universe, from the original 1966 television series to this past summer's box-office hit.


While many of the more than 200 pieces in the exhibit are real — including filming models of USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D, the Borg cube and costumes from the original TV show — the sets are replicas, carefully built to the original specifications by scenic designers who worked on the films and TV shows.

"If you can touch it or sit in it, it's a replica," said Allyson Lazar, the show's collections manager. "If you can't, it's the real deal, and that includes all the costumes. The Kirk and Spock uniforms were worn by William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, and they're actually in pretty good shape — just a little color fading, which is to be expected."
But the replicated sets should provide a bit of a kick for "Star Trek" fans.

You can sit in Captain Kirk's command chair on the bridge of the original NCC-1701. ("It's definitely everyone's favorite photo op," said Lazar.) Along a corridor, you can peek into Captain Jean-Luc Picard's ready room (among the details, a bottle of Chateau Picard, made from the Picard family's vineyards). One room is dominated by a full-scale model of the Guardian of Forever — the time portal from "The City on the Edge of Forever," one of the original series' most famous episodes.

In the transporter room, you can step onto the platform — and watch yourself be "energized" on a video screen.


"And over the years, what had seemed like science fiction way back then, has become science fact. It takes the imagineer to imagine, 'What if?' — the seemingly impossible. ... It takes the researchers, the scientists, inventors to make that 'What if' a reality."
Activate the Omega 13 ... Right now!.

Never Give Up, Never Surrender!

Bonus Links

Star Trek - The Exhibition

The Tech Museum of Innovation

Pizarro: Good buzz around 'Star Trek' exhibit at the Tech

Stock Tip: Reynolds Wrap, Tinfoil To Skyrocket This Fall

This Date ... On The Garlic

22 October 2008... On The Garlic

Yusef The Plumber

22 October 2007... On The Garlic

On Colbert & Russert: "The citizens of Dresden didn't endure as much of a bombing as this"

22 October 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Huddle Up There, Fat Boy! ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Around The Garlic Patch ... A Few Good Links To Check Out

Huffington Post Caption Contest - Vote For #15 ... It's Mine!

22 October 2005... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Today's Ignorant Dolt - Brian Griffiths, of Goldman Sachs

It's, kind of, not fair, when they make it this easy.

Our roster of Our roster of Ignorant Dolts grows again today, with Goldman Sachs advisor Brian Griffiths, salivating, and drooling all over himself, reaching out for that dubious Ignorant Dolt Crown and Sceptre

From Bloomberg;

Goldman Sachs’s Griffiths Says Inequality Helps All (Update1)

Oct. 21 (Bloomberg) -- A Goldman Sachs International adviser defended compensation in the finance industry as his company plans a near-record year for pay, saying the spending will help boost the economy.

“We have to tolerate the inequality as a way to achieve greater prosperity and opportunity for all,” Brian Griffiths, who was a special adviser to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, said yesterday at a panel discussion at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London. The panel’s discussion topic was, “What is the place of morality in the marketplace?”
Yeah, right ...

My life, if I bothered to check, must be generously uplifted, by Goldman Sachs sucking up the bailout money, and then turning around and dishing out million-dollar bonuses.

John, over on Gawker;
Lord Griffiths of Fforestfach is quite the Christian apologist for wealthy people; he wrote a book called Morality and the Marketplace and has thought long and hard about how to reconcile the teachings of Jesus Christ with the relentless drive to acquire money. He's done pretty well with it. But wasn't there something about camels, and heaven, and rich men? And if Jesus wants Goldman Sachs employees to get multi-million-dollar taxpayer-financed bonuses, why are the Benedictine Sisters of Mt. Angel launching a shareholder movement to get Goldman to reign in its compensation packages? We guess that, for the fabulously wealthy who go for the whole heaven/hell thing, it makes sense to enjoy as many Amber Lounge after-parties as you can squeeze in while you're in this world, because the one that awaits doesn't really have much to offer.

And, David Dayen, on Firedoglake, wryly observes;
He’s certainly got the “Lord” thing down, right?

Go to the head of the line there, Mr. Griffiths.

We don't want you waiting one single second to pick up your Ignorant Dolt gear.

To bring back the spirit of Richard Dawson, planted with a big, wet kiss;

"Survey Says?"

Survey Shows Name Should Be "Goldman Sucks"

Bonus Ignorant Dolt Brian Griffiths Riffs

Pat Garofalo: Goldman Sachs Analyst: Income ‘Inequality’ Will Lead To ‘Prosperity And Opportunity For All’

Mikkel Fishman: Praise Goldman Sachs And The Other Big Banks

Kathryn Hopkins: Public must learn to 'tolerate the inequality' of bonuses, says Goldman Sachs vice-chairman

Jake Tapper Hits The Buffet For Seconds!

Back in April, we couldn't resist the sight, of ABC's Jake Tapper, in his role as water carrier for the Bush Grindhouse, and NeoNitwits, standing up, proudly, for torture, when we wrote "Jake Tapper Liked His Shit Sandwich".

Apparently, that tasted so good, he's hitting the line for seconds, as fearless (or feckless) Jake is head-butting the Obama Whitehouse, proudly hauling the buckets for Faux News, in the newly launched war against that "Fair and Balanced" (or "Fairly Unbalanced) network.

From Eric Boehlert, on MediaMatters;

Jake Tapper can't figure out how Fox News is different from ABC News?

At Tuesday's White House briefing Tapper seemed completely baffled, and quite insulted, by the White House's claim that Fox News is not a real news organization. Tapper demanded WH spokesman Robert Gibbs back up the claim [emphasis added]:

Tapper: It’s escaped none of our notice that the White House has decided in the last few weeks to declare one of our sister organizations “not a news organization” and to tell the rest of us not to treat them like a news organization. Can you explain why it’s appropriate for the White House to decide that a news organization is not one –


Gibbs: Jake, we render, we render an opinion based on some of their coverage and the fairness that, the fairness of that coverage.

Tapper: But that’s a pretty sweeping declaration that they are “not a news organization.” How are they any different from, say –

Gibbs: ABC -

Tapper: ABC. MSNBC. Univision. I mean how are they any different?

Gibbs: You and I should watch sometime around 9 o’clock tonight. Or 5 o’clock this afternoon.

Tapper: I’m not talking about their opinion programming or issues you have with certain reports. I’m talking about saying thousands of individuals who work for a media organization, do not work for a “news organization” -- why is that appropriate for the White House to say?

Gibbs: That’s our opinion.

Boehlert added "But Tapper is stumped. He can't figure out how Fox News is different from ABC News. (Psst Jake, I wouldn't say that too loudly around David Westin.)"

Holy Cow!

I'm surprised that Tapper wasn't wearing a diver's wet suit, to be carrying that much water for the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds over that at Faux News.

Alex Pareene, over on Gawker;
But now, once again, Jake Tapper is a hero to the right-wing blogs. Because he knows that it is the objective reporters job to always object, to everything. If the President says the ocean is quite large, it is heroic reporting to demand that his spokesman acknowledge that outer space is even bigger.

Maybe we need to call in Denzel Washington, to explain, "like he was a four-year-old", to Tapper, the difference between ABC News and Faux News.

This video, from MediaMatters, might help.

Fox News: A 24/7 Political Operation

Bon Appetit there, Jake ...

This Date ... On The Garlic

21 October 2008... On The Garlic

It's A Fiesta In Blue!

She's Not A Hockey Mom with Lipstick ... She's Clothes Horse!

Developing Story ... McCain Camp May Have Candidate's Mother Fall Ill ... Can't Allow Obama To Gain Family Value Advantage; McCain May Suspend Campaign, Monitor Mother By Phone

21 October 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The Voter Value Summit

The Savvy Girls of Summer

Of Sports, Politics, Constitutional Crises and Yesteryear ... I'd put my money on Sam Ervin ...

21 October 2006... On The Garlic

World Series Prompts More Baseball Letters

21 October 2005... On The Garlic

Congress Passes Gun Shield Law; NRA Planning 'Fire Away' Marketing Campaign; Promo Aimed At Boosting Sales; Florida Seen As First Test For Ads Pushing 'Stand Your Ground'

Top Ten Cloves: How David Stern Will Enforce New NBA Dress Code

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Bennies From Heaven

We're still in light posting mode, making the final preparations for the return-to-home by The Aunt (away, now, for 27-days, between the hospital and rehab).

However, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to heap praise on The Yes Men.

We posted about them previously, when they put out their Fake New York Times, and, there are other favorites, like "Halliburton solves global warming!"

And, their "Exxon's Climate-Victim Candles", where;

The oilmen listened to the lecture with attention, and then lit "commemorative candles" supposedly made of Vivoleum obtained from the flesh of an "Exxon janitor" who died as a result of cleaning up a toxic spill. The audience only reacted when the janitor, in a video tribute, announced that he wished to be transformed into candles after his death, and all became crystal-clear.

Yesterday, they showed-up the Ignorant Dolts at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, a bigger group of Neanderthals you'd be hard-pressed to find.

From Kate Sheppard, at Mother Jones;

The Yes Men Punk the Chamber

The Chamber of Commerce stunned DC on Monday by calling a last-minute press conference to announce a dramatic about-face in its climate policy—it would not only stop opposing the Kerry-Boxer climate bill but would work with them to make it better. But the whole thing turned out to be a hoax mounted by the Yes Men, a notorious band of anti-corporate pranksters.

Reporters received a press release early Monday stating that the Chamber would be "throwing its weight behind strong climate legislation" at an event at the National Press Club in downtown Washington, DC. But when I and others showed up, we were met by a fellow dressed in a suit looking like a typical corporate PR man. This wasn't Chamber President and CEO Tom Donohue. And I recognized him as Yes Man Andy Bichlbaum. (I've written about the group previously.) He soon was telling reporters, "We at the Chamber have tried to keep climate science from interfering with business. But without a stable climate, there will be no business."
Think Progress was on it, also, and has a video of the confrontation.

What better song to raise a glass to the Merry Pranksters?

None other than this gem;

Eddie Jefferson Bennies From Heaven with Richie Cole

This Date ... On The Garlic

October 2008... On The Garlic

Retro Garlic: As The Aspen Turns ... Judy Miller Goes To Fox!

Good Post Alert: Esquire Endorses America, 2008

Ignorant Dolt-of-the-Week Follow-up ... Censure Michele Bachmann!

20 October 2007... On The Garlic

For The Congress Today, A New Song - Bush's Place (Or C-Jam Blues)

20 October 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Tactic Changes Generals Plan On Telling President Bush He Has To Make In Iraq

20 October 2005... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Senate Panel Digs Deeper Into Miers Questionnaire; "Look's Like President's Handwriting"; Inadequate and Incomplete Answers Spark Investigation; Experts Brought In To Compare Penmanship of Miers, Bush

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard On Donald Rumsfeld's Visit In China

Monday, October 19, 2009

Mystical Man

No Garlic Fans, no great insights coming with the title (we'll let your divine who may be today's "Mystical Man"), just putting down a music marker, as we have been burning on all-cylinders here on the homefront.

The Aunt that we care for will be discharged from her short-term rehab stint on Wednesday, and we've been full-bore on getting some things down in anticipation of that.

We should also say that the next few days could be light posted, as well.

Sooooo ...

We have a great piece of music that captures that anticipation (or, as the YouTube poster offers, "An appropriate song for watching the world go by on a rainy day"), courtesy of Young-Holt Unlimited.

"Mystical Man" by Young-Holt Unlimited

You can check out Larry Grogan, over at Funky16Corners for some back-up info on “Young-Holt Unlimited Play Superfly’

This Date ... On The Garlic

19 October 2008... On The Garlic

One For The Film Buffs ... Max Ophuls

19 October 2007... On The Garlic

You Gotta Love It, Friday Edition, Dateline: Burma

19 October 2006... On The Garlic

Developing Story: White House, CIA Start Selling ‘Defeat The Threat’; With New Detainee Bill Signed, White House Fires Out RFP’s For Secret Prison Franchises; Program, Once Stalled, Primed To Flourish Legally; Renditions Downgraded From “Extraordinary” To “Standard”

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons President Bush Stressed Defense In New National Space Policy

Sunday, October 18, 2009

This Is Why Europe Thinks We're Pikers

We meant to post this yesterday, but got sidetracked by things on the homefront (and, the possible start of an infection to the sinuses, which have been doing a non-stop tango for the past few days).

Once again, you would think cleavage was the single, largest, most dastardly problem facing this country.

Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny McCain's little girl, Meghan, that prolific childrens book author, posted a photo of herself on Twitter, and heads explode.

Meghan McCain's Racy TwitPic Reaches 160,000 Views In 17 Hours (NWS)

Internet All A-Twitter Over Meghan McCain Photo

Apparently, Ms. Little Bloggette threw a hissy fit, in 140 characters or less, vowing to blow up her computer and never Twit (or was it be a twit) again.

Ahh, but the Little Arizona Princess wasn't quite finished.

After showing the sexually-repressed PartyofNoicans her cleavage, she, apparently, threw on some clothes, and banged out a "I Am Not A Slut" tirade over on her perch on The Daily Beast.

It must be beastly, to be Meghan McCain and have everyone thinking you are a slut.

Worse, perhaps, to bring up the "S" word yourself, if it wasn't specifically put out there.

This was about near a perfect "yang" to the Garage Attic Boy's "ying"

Paging Sanjaya Malaker ...

Bonus Meghan McCain Is Not A Slut Riffs

Ryan Tate: Meghan McCain Swears She'll Quit Twitter If You Can't Deal With Her Boobs

watertiger: Late Night: “Wait, My Fifteen Minutes of Fame Aren’t Up Yet!”

Wonkette: Jake Tapper Employs Secret War Code To Save Meghan McCain

This Date ... On The Garlic

18 October 2008... On The Garlic

Yes, Virginia, There Is A Real Virginia ...

18 October 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Military Recruiters Didn't Realize They Were Recruiting Gays

18 October 2006... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic - Keith Olbermann New Special Comment On 'Beginning of the end of America'

18 October 2005... On The Garlic

Breaking News! - Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

Top Ten Cloves: What Karl Rove May Do If He Is Indicted