Friday, October 16, 2009

Up, Up and Away ... More on Garage Attic Boy's Escapade

Well, it seems that there's some new things brewing, with Garage Attic Boy's escapade yesterday (see our earlier post today, Media Gypped ... Balloon Boy Only Garage Attic Boy).

The Henne family is being investigated for, possibly, pulling off a hoax, thanks, chiefly to the Wolf Blitzer interview, in which Garage Attic Boy, little Falcon, spilled the beans about it being "for the show" (Hmmm ... I wonder if CNN will start promoting themselves as "The Best Balloon Story Team on Television?)

Or, the parents calling a television station, before calling 911.

Libby Spencer, over on The Impolitic, seems to be first on the beat, as to what it may all be about;

It suddenly dawned on me a few minutes ago. If they're testing an experimental balloon, they would want video of the flight. That wouldn't be so easy to get on their own. Sure they could have chased the thing on the ground, but you can't count on constant visual contact from the ground so aerial footage like this would be invaluable. That's not something you could get on the cheap, and maybe not at all, as a private citizen. You would probably even get in trouble for launching without FAA permission. I heard they had to ground flights at a commercial airport at one point.

So voila. "Accidental" launch. Lost kid drama. Helicopter chase crews. It adds up to great documentation of your experimental craft's performance. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.
Oh well ...

No doubt, we'll be hearing more on this over the next few days

It suddenly dawned on us, that we have the perfect soundtrack of this;

The 5th Dimension - Up, Up and Away

Bonus Links

Ezra Klein: Balloon Boy a Hoax?

Kevin Drum: Quote of the Day

Skippy, the bush kangaroo: Balloon Payment

Media Gypped ... Balloon Boy Only Garage Attic Boy

Boy, what a story, huh?

Little boy floating hundreds-of-feet in the air, in a homemade weather balloon, of parents who were on a TV Reality Show?

Holy Cow!

The birth of a new genre - Missing Little White Boys!

Order the coffee and cots!

No doubt MSNBC ordered - stat - a new budget for a whole series of Doc Blocs.

Turns out the Falcon Heene never left this earth.

He hid out, fearing being scolded, in a garage attic.

While the helium may have exited the weather balloon when it crashed, it was a minor bleep to the Media's deflation, listening to the air hissing out of their babbling heads.

My favorite was here, locally, in Boston, Channel 5, WCVB-TV.

Anchors Liz Brunner and Ed Harding were solemnly reporting the story, giving updates as the broadcast moved along, cutting away to the live press conference with the local sheriff, where it was reported that little Falcon was safe, that he had been hiding "in an attic, in the garage."

Cut back to Ed and Liz, visibly relieved, reporting that the boy was safe, that he was found hiding "in either an attic, or the garage."

Way to go Ed and Liz, how to be on top of the story, getting those facts out there.

Paging Rita Cosby!

Barry Crimmins On Max Baucus, and Healthcare

Barry Crimmins has a tremendous riff up on Max Baucus "(Influence redistributionist - Mt)" that you need to check out.

Pre-existing outrage ... Coffers over Coughers

The propaganda and fiscal arm-twisting campaign is meant to keep our allegedly exceptional nation from joining the rest of the world in acknowledging that single-payer health care is the only answer for those who prefer civilization. Unfortunately, due to the river of green that's flowed under Washington's table, single-payer is all but off it. There are still some peeps about a "vibrant public option" but what we really need is to kill the private one before it kills any more of us.


Baucus's plan would make the purchase of health insurance mandatory for all Americans. Concerned that a program designed to force each citizen to purchase their oft useless product might not make it out of committee, the racketeers put on their villain garb to verbally body-slam the Big Sky Bagman's plan. Mind you, these hated criminals know better than to appear in public, except when they want to exploit America's inability to fathom reverse psychology. The insurance peddlers scripted remarks cautioned us that Max's bill could result in higher premium prices. There's little doubt that this increased-cost warning will soon be looked upon as prescient. But getting credit for its ability to foretell its own price-fixing is a paltry co-pay compared to the billions of extra bucks Baucus' mandatory insurance plan will steam-shovel the sticky hands people's way.
Read the entire piece over on Barry Crimmins' website

This Date ... On The Garlic

16 October 2008... On The Garlic

For Joe The Plumber

Sad News ... Legendary Composer, Arranger Neal Hefti Passes Away

16 October 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overhead While The Nobel Peace Prize Committee Reviewed Rush Limbaugh's Nomination

16 October 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Back To The Drawing Board For Security Council; New Problem As Jong Il Issues “Korean-Style” Signing Statement To Invalidate U.N. Sanctions; U.S. Irate But Must Abstain Due To Conflict of Interest; North Korea Also To Start Page Program For Potential Scandal

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At “Liberty Sunday” Last Night

16 October 2005... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Thursday, October 15, 2009

NFL Singing Rush's Tune?

My, My, My ...

Oh, how the cookie crumbles for The Cheeseburger That Sweats (H/T Barry Crimmins)

Or, in the words of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Rush Limbaugh's chickens are coming home to roost.

Word is that El Jefe of the Dittoheads is out of the group looking to purchase the NFL franchise, the St. Louis Rams.

Rushbo was "complicating" things.


Since the drug addict hatemonger likes to sing songs (you remember this little diddy he had a grand time with), we'd like to think the National Football League serenaded him, on the way of pushing him out the door;

We're Sorry

We're sorry, so sorry
That you are such a fool
You didn't know
Buying an NFL team could be so cruel
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh, oh
Oh, yes

You tell us mistakes
Are part of being a Dittohead
But that don't right
The wrong that's been done

(We're sorry) We're sorry
(So sorry) So sorry
Please accept our non-apology
But Racism isn't blind
And you were to blind to see
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh, oh
Oh, yes

You tell us mistakes
Are part of being a Dittohead
But that don't right
The wrong that's been done
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh, oh
Oh, yes

We're sorry, so sorry
Please accept our non-apology
But Racism isn't blind
And you were to blind to see

There's a certain irony, for the heralded leader of the PartyofNoicans, to have the private sector, their lauded private sector, blanch and vomit at the prospects of letting him into their party.

Will Bunch, on his Attytood, had it down, with his "The free market comes back to bite Rush Limbaugh";
The NFL may be run -- at the macro level -- as the most socialistic major enterprise in American life, since every team gets an equal paycheck from the biggest pool of revenue, TV money, regardless of whether it plays in the Big Apple or tiny Jacksonville. Yet pro football players live a life that is Reaganism on steroids (it's just an expression) when it comes to embracing free-market capitalism, thanks to another "free," as in free agency. A top player lives the American Dream of freedom to pursue the highest paycheck he wants, or to spurn that top bidder for the city of his choice...or even the coach or team owner of his choice.

That freedom is the real reason that comedian Rush Limbaugh will not be owning the St. Louis Rams. Even if the de facto GOP boss really did have the cash and the clout to successfully partner on a bid for his former home state team, NFL players made it clear almost to a man that they simply would not choose to play for an owner with Limbaugh's views on race in pro football, or on race, period. Which made the Limbaugh bid dead on arrival.

Oh, but the Dittoheads, and Flying Monkeys, are screeching, flinging their feces around, that this is the end of America, that the liberals are punishing Free Speech.

Thers, over on Firedoglake, nails it with his most humorous "Late Night: RACISM ALERT!11! Rush Limbaugh Not Allowed to Own Football Team Because He Belongs to Oppressed Minority Class (i.e., Rich Screechy White Twits)";
Precisely. The most serious free speech issue in America right now is one rich white asshole being told by other rich white assholes that he can’t join their club. On that point we must all agree.


Not sure which is funnier, though, the right-wing idiots now threatening to boycott the NFL, or the right-wing idiots saying Limbaugh has grounds for a civil rights lawsuit. The man is toxic, and that’s his own damn screechy needy tantrum-throwing wannabe-sports-involved fault.

It's very doubtful that Roger Goodall is going to sprint over to Limbaugh's studio today, apologize and kiss his ring, the way others have.

But sadly, all this only, to mix sports metaphors, grooves right into Rushbo's strike zone.

He can lighten up, take some pressure off of his boot on the throat of the PartyofNoicans, and go Jihad on the NFL for the next 10-weeks, plus playoffs and Superbowl.

Every fumble, every pass interception, every missed tackle, can be highlighted, complete with racial overtones, jokes, and, maybe a diddy, or two.

The NFL owners, if they don't know it, are now subject to legions of Dittoheads combing through their businesses, Googling their little paws off, maybe, even, digging through their home trash, to come up with embarrassing dirt that Mr. Drug Addict can spew out and mock (remaining, as he does, completely without any self-awareness, that he wanted to be ONE OF THEM).

No, Rushbo getting the boot isn't the end of something, it is the beginning of something else.

You know, the lemons/lemonade thing.

Almost, like it was planned, huh?

Bonus Loser Limbaugh Riffs

MediaMatters: Limbaugh's "color-blind" history of racially charged comments

Publius: The Demonstrably Racist Rush Limbaugh

Joe Sudbay - Rush: "I do want -- and I still want -- Obama to fail"

Gabriel Winant: Rush Limbaugh's race to the bottom ... Bend over, grab your ankles and submit to a mind-blowing rundown of the radio bully's obsessive butt talk!

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Rush Limbaugh Can Get Woman Not To Hate Him

And, of course, our inspiration for this post ...

Brenda Lee - I'm Sorry

RIP Captain Lou!

Another page from the childhood has turned.

Wrestler (and actor) Captain Lou Albano has passed away, at the age of 76.

God, it seemed like he would be around forever.

Older, and numerous generations will know him for his wrestling, the newer will see him as a manager, a handful, will know him only for his appearance in Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", still others, for his role in The Super Mario Brothers Super Show!.

For whatever way you remember him, he was The Captain

RIP Captain Lou!

Kevin Eck: Remembering Capt. Lou Albano

Houston Mitchell: Captain Lou Albano dies at 76

This Date ... On The Garlic

15 October 2008... On The Garlic

Debate Results: Flintstones vs. Jetsons Pt. III

Everything He Learned?

That One!

16 October 2007... On The Garlic

Condi! Whose Cup Are You Drinking From Lately?

Faster Than A Speeding, Lead Bullet ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Something Rudy

When A Michelle Malkin Quits The O'Reilly Factor, And No One is Around To Hear it, Does It Make A Sound?

16 October 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

41 and 43 Equals ??? ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It's Turquoise Watch For The Loofah Man

The Grand Ayatollah of Ignorant Dolts is in the news (well, that's not really news) today, but for a celebratory reason.

It's the 5th Anniversary of his lecherous sexual harassment lawsuit!

The Smoking Gun has a hall-full of goodies for the occasion;

O'Reilly Falafel Suit Turns Five ... Fox News star's pervy sex fantasies, boasts just never get old

OCTOBER 13--Happy anniversary, Bill O'Reilly! On this date five years ago, the Fox News Channel host was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit brimming with lurid details about vibrators, phone sex, threesomes, masturbation, Caribbean shower fantasies, a Thai sex show, falafel, stewardess trysts, vehicular coupling, and Al Franken. The New York State Supreme Court lawsuit filed by Andrea Mackris, a former Fox News producer, quoted O'Reilly verbatim and at length, leaving readers to believe that the TV star's dirty soliloquies were surreptitiously recorded (an impression reinforced when the lawsuit was settled within two weeks). A copy of Mackris's complaint, drafted by lawyer Benedict Morelli, can be found below. Time has not robbed the document of any of its page-turning entertainment value.
You can go to The Smoking Gun post to read the entire complaint..

And, check out John Cook, over on Gawker;

Happy Bill O'Reilly Loofah Day!

Everyone celebrates Loofah Day in their own way, but we like to pull out the sacred text and read aloud from its most memorable and moving passage—a transcript of O'Reilly's late-night 2004 monologue to Mackris, delivered during the Republican National Convention, while he was watching a porno:
So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind... and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business....

And, a good zinger;
Mackris doesn't need to work, apparently, but in her free time, she is a member of the contemporary council at the Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis and "volunteers at Planned Parenthood." Living well is the best revenge, but helping people get abortions when the guy who kept trying to get in your pants hates abortions is awesome, too.
We'll have to check out Newshounds (They watch Fox so you don't have to) later on, to see if O'Reilly remembered, maybe have a Turquoise Loofah on the desk, or something.

Bonus Links

John Amato: Andrea Mackris said Falafel Boy O’Reilly was going to pay a personal visit to her

Alexander Cockburn: What Happened to O'Reilly's Loofa?

Salon: Every which way but loofah ...Inside the Bill O'Reilly sexual harassment lawsuit

O'Reilly Gears Up Next War; Says Will Battle To Save "Little Christmas" ... Calls For New Laws and Mandatory Fines; Doesn't Hesitate To Make Up False Charges To Broadcast His Point

Bill O'Reilly Exclusive! Black People Go To Restaurants ... And They Eat!

Daddy's Little Girl Launching PNAC-Lite

Oh boy, just what we need.

A new NeoNitwit outfit

From The Politico this morning;

Liz Cheney's group 'Keep America Safe' takes on 'radical' White House

Former Vice President Dick Cheney’s eldest daughter Liz will launch a new group aimed at rallying opposition to the “radical” foreign policy of the Obama administration which it says has succeeded only in undermining the nation’s security.

The new group, Keep America Safe, will make the case against President Barack Obama’s moves to wrench America away from Bush era foreign policy on issues from detaining alleged terrorists at Guantanamo Bay to building a missile shield in Eastern Europe.


The new group will add institutional heft to a scathing critique of Obama articulated first and loudest by Liz Cheney’s father, and fills a void left by a Republican Party made skittish by the Iraq War, and apparently more eager to engage the president on domestic issues like health care.


Keep America Safe will focus on issues like troop levels, missile defense, detainees, and interrogation, according to Liz Cheney, who is heading the group along with Weekly Standard editor William Kristol and Debra Burlingame, the hawkish sister of an American Airlines pilot killed in the September 11 attacks.

Little Billy Kristol?

I suppose, with the record of eight-failed-years, he can't keep running the same failed PNAC cow chips (tell us again, Billy, how'd that "Greet us as Liberators" thing work out?)

So, they repackage it, and get the former Shadow President's daughter to carry the banner.

Steve Benen also sees disaster written all over this;
The truth is, Cheney/Kristol had their day. They got to do exactly what they wanted to do -- torture, preemptive war, abandoning the rule of law, abandoning democratic norms, alienating allies, ignoring the concept of international cooperation -- and they failed anyway.


Liz Cheney and Bill Kristol have become clownish figures, so blinded by their ideology that they can't even see the dangerous ineptitude of their agenda. I don't doubt that wealthy right-wing financiers will be delighted to throw some checks at "Keep America Safe." Likewise, I can only assume that news outlets will continue to pretend that Cheney has some shred of credibility on these issues, and will have her on national television every day for the next year.

But that doesn't make this endeavor any less ridiculous.

They already have The Politico, Matt Sludge, and other Flying Monkey perches lined up to promote their drivel (which means our mainstream corporate media will instantly pick up, and run with their ball), and, no doubt, Faux News will be in the bag.

Hmmm ...

But maybe it's all just a front.

On her website, we have this, right at the top of the home page, under "Featured Resources";
Seven former CIA chiefs asked President Obama to halt the CIA investigation that damages our national security and the personal security of CIA agents. Click here to read their plea now!
I suppose they couldn't call it "Keep Daddy Out of Jail", now could they?

This Date ... On The Garlic

13 October 2008... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things About If John McCain and Sarah Palin Discovered America

Day Three of McKKKain Respecting Obama

Three Cheers For Nobel Prize Winner Paul Krugman!

13 October 2006... On The Garlic

Developing Story! Rove Has Gone From “Bush’s Brain” To “Bush’s Drain”; White House In Crises, As Rove Takes Credit For North Korean Nuke Test; Sources Say ‘Bush’s Brain” Weary From Sinking Polls, Fundraising; Too Tired To Come Up With New October Surprise

Top Ten Cloves: Signs That Tell How The Friday The 13th Jinx Is On You

13 October 2005... On The Garlic

Special Announcement - Political Satire in America; Barry Crimmins, with Kurt Vonnegut, Paul Krassner, Art Buchwald, Lewis Lapham, Sarah Jones

Monday, October 12, 2009

Top Ten Cloves: What If Barack Obama Discovered America?

News Item: Happy Columbus Day?

10. Arugula would be as common as french fries today

9. There would be a buzz that he didn't wear any Lapel Pins

8. Obama's wife going sleeveless would intimidate the locals

7. No Minister Controversy- Nothing has happened yet to cause "Chickens coming home to roost"

6. Big public fight with one of his captains, who says that Obama needs to deploy an armada of ships for the mission

5. Exploring the New World would be delayed a few months, while Obama sought out getting a pet dog for his children

4. Obama would be telling the ships' crew that it was wrong to look backward

3. Early critics would huff-and-puff that he relies on the "Parchment Scroll" too much

2. Any Native Americans that were "birthers" would be right!

1. Before long, they will be saying that Obama is "Palling' around with Pirates"

Bonus Links

Wikipedia - Columbus Day

History of Columbus Day

Christopher Columbus

Top Ten Cloves: Things About If John McCain and Sarah Palin Discovered America

Top Ten Cloves: How History Would Be Different if Bush & Co. Were The Ones To First Discover America

This Date ... On The Garlic

12 October 2008... On The Garlic


"No Ma'am ... No ... I Can't Give You A Racist Pamphlet Right Now"

Good Post Alert: Russ Douthart's " Not So Wonderful Now"

12 October 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons For Nobel Peace Prize Winner Al Gore Not To Run For President

12 October 2005... On The Garlic

Apple Announcement Today May Unveil Miers iPod; Two Colors Offered and Pre-Programmed With Unknown Songs; Possible Video iSqueal Also Talked About

Google Launches Lobbyist; As Usual, In Beta-Mode and By-Invite Only; May Signal Move To Broaden Google Wallet and Googlets With Expanding Empire

Top Ten Cloves: Bush Picking Miers Is Disappointing To The Conservatives like ...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

This Date ... On The Garlic

11 October 2008... On The Garlic

Well, At Least They Didn't Use His Middle Name Today

A Pandering Politician, With Lipstick

11 October 2007... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Romney On Debate Gaffe: "Meant To Say I Would Consult With My Sons"; Candidate Feverishly Works To Correct Impression; Campaign Said To Be Firing All Its' Lawyers

Retro Garlic: Karen Hughes, Our National Tupperware Lady

Hysterical Barry Crimmins Today - The Gipper still tearing up turf!

Good Post Alert - Glenn Greenwald's 'A nation of Rich Lowrys'

11 October 2006... On The Garlic

Developing Story - Secretary of State Defends “Mushroom Cloud” Prediction; Rice Touts ‘Axis of Evil’ Program As “Wildly Successful” In Wake Of North Korea Nuke Test; AEL Members Adhering To Program; Allows Bush, World “Swift and Unfettered” Rhetoric” As Precursor To Planting Seeds of Democracy

Breaking News! Baseball Rocked With Calls For Firing Of Yankee Manager; Retired Baseball Managers Call On Torre To Resign; Handful of Skippers Protest Steinbrenner Move; Cite No Plan Or Successful Winning Strategy

Top Ten Cloves: Things About The Google-YouTube Deal

11 October 2005... On The Garlic

FEMA Rushes Aid To Earthquake Victims Within Hours of Strike; "I don't think the ground stopped shaking, and FEMA was there"; "We screwed up, but that's okay," says Paulson

With Red Sox and Yankees Bounced, MLB Postpones Playoffs; Unsure On Next Step, How To Proceed; Television Exec's Voice Pressure For Ratings

Top Ten Cloves: Things Vice President Cheney Told Conservatives He Did To Get President Away From Harriet Miers