Saturday, June 23, 2007

"I Am Spartacus" ... The Bush Grindhouse and Cheneypalooza

Ohhh, this is so rich ...

It appears, on this lazy Saturday AM, we have a "I am Spartacus" vibe brewing ...

First, the ever-exhaustively endeavoring Salon scribe Glenn Greenwald has a fascinating post this morning on how, magically, the Iraqi insurgents have apparently backed off and we're fighting, exclusively, Al Qaeda again.

This from the Bush Grindhouse and its' most loyal pet, the mainstream media (and "I am Judy Miller" reporter, NYT's Michael Gordon).

Glenn Greenwald's "Everyone we fight in Iraq is now "al-Qaida"

Then, no sooner is our Cheneypalooza still settling in, we get The Commander Guy himself, standing loyally upright and proudly declaring "I am Cheney" regarding the business of documenting their usage of classified material.

Bush claims oversight exemption too; The White House says the president's own order on classified data does not apply to his office or the vice president's.

And dig Bush Grindhouse Spokesperson Dana Perino, spinning better, and more furiously, than Eric Brenn ever did on the old Ed Sullivan Show.

Office of the Press Secretary: June 22, 2007 - Press Briefing by Dana Perino

Bonus Links

Olbermann Fact-Checks White House, Finds No Special Exemption For Cheney

White House Defends Cheney's Refusal of Oversight

Michael Gordon Outdoes Judith Miller

Spartacus (1960)


Digby's "Now They Notice"

Democrats Will Try To Cut Cheney Out Of Executive Funding

The Cheney Branch of Government

Friday, June 22, 2007

Clock's Ticking Again - Some More Heads To Be Pulled Out of Asses ... Step Right Up Dorothy Rabinowitz ... And Richard Cohen

Just when we thought it would be safe ... They put their heads right back in it ...

Too bad Ronco is in bankruptcy ... Perhaps we could have had Ron Popeil come up with something ... The Ass-O-Matic, or some such device, that could help these dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds.

I wanted to stay away from all the knuckle-dragging neonitwits and hardcore rightwingers, who believe the verdict against felon I. Lewis 'Scooter" Libby is the biggest injustice since a well-known cross hanging on Mount Calvary.

There was no underlying crime ... The Special Prosecutor was illegal ... Overstepped his authority ...

Bah-Bah ... Woof-Woof ...

One point they make, that can be agreed with, is Libby shouldn't have been the only one charged with a crime ... Cheney and Rove, at minimum, should have been paraded in a perp-walk on this one ...


So, as we instructed John Fund recently (on a different matter), step up to the line, Dorothy Rabinowitz, and pull your head out of your ass ...

And, don't you shy away there, Richard Cohen ...

The Runaway Train That Hit Scooter Libby? ... Forget about the train, you weren't even close to the station

As soon as Dorothy is finished, it's your turn


A Tale of Two Prosecutors - Mike Nifong is punished, but Patrick Fitzgerald isn't.

The Runaway Train That Hit Scooter Libby

Special Nod To Firedoglake, for a bit of inspiration

Meet Dorothy Rabinowitz

Joe Klein's stirring defense of Lewis Libby

Right-wing noise machine: Plame not covert

Ron, if you can, come up with an "Ass-O-Matic" or something that these dwarfs, finks, phonies, frauds can use ... There's only going to be more of them ...

Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Dickie Right Over ... Its' A Cheneypalooza!

One question I have this morning is where's Rumsfeld?

If he isn't leading a coup, or just bustin' everyone's balls, than it may be that our Vice President is showing overt signs of dementia setting in ... Senility or Alzheimer's, perhaps ... Could also be his notoriously bad heart (both literally and figuratively)

It may be that the days of the week are confusing him, and he thinks he's on one of his weekend Armageddon retreats.

How else to explain that he believes he is not part of the Executive Branch?

Long Past The Shock of Illegal, Law-Breaking Misdeeds

Who knew, last month, when The Garlic called for volunteers to become a "Cheney's Cheney" and join his team for the Iran venture that we'd see that the Darth Vader Man was already well ahead of the curve on it.

The Garlic also saw signs last November, when Cheney broke from the White House to form his own Iran Study Group.

And The Garlic had a feeling, earlier, back in November 2005, that Dick was quite the Magic Vice Prez.

He has his lavish Secret Bunker... The family, in particular the wife, is with him all the way ... He'll dress-down, and swear at, a Senator, or turn around and expose a covert CIA agent at the drop-of-the-hat ... And he shares with his boss/underling, The Commander Guy, a disdain for democracy ...

He's already long past the shock of conducting his illegal, law-breaking misdeeds, that there hasn't been any blaring sirens coming for him ... No scoldings, no detention, so he's looking around, his head spinning like Linda Blair's, and sees no one after him, so it's time to push that secret envelope out more, and more.

We should expect some type of fiat next from the VP Man, perhaps suspending the 2008 election, removing Bush, keeping the surge he sings praises for and, of course, leaving all Iran options on table - particularly the bombing ones.

Which Way Does It Go - Over The Cliff or Top of The World?

He doesn't give a shit about nose-diving ratings, he's got his hands on the wheel, his fingers on the buttons ... And he's going for broke ...

A Thelma and Louise, pedal-to-the-medal drive off the Constitutional cliff? ... A Cody Jarrett, Top-of-the-World-Ma scream, standing on a blazing and exploding Iranian nuclear reactor? ... Or a more fitting, Sam Peckinpah-inspired, Pike Bishop shoot out with Congress?

For me, I'd like to see, with a nice, lush, Bernard Hermann score, Cheney, sweating and panicked, on top of Mt. Rushmore, holding a trinket containing all the secret Energy Meeting Notes, and Secret Service Visitor Logs, being chased and hunted by Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson (hey, lay off, it's pretty close casting) and the good guys end up winning.

The only thing of it is, whose definition of good and evil do we go by?

Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Dickie Right Over ...

Cheney Defiant on Classified Material; Executive Order Ignored Since 2003

Rahm Emanuel To Cheney: Please Get The Heck Out Of The White House

Cheney: Neither Here Nor There?

Cheney Power Grab: Says White House Rules Don't Apply to Him

Its' A Cheneypalooza!

Kucinich announces impeachment charges against Vice President Cheney

White House Fiercely Divided; VP Cheney Wants State of Union Address Kept Private

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Libby Verdict Has Bush, White House Urging Cheney Into Rehab; Sources Claim 'Can't Be Trusted He Won't Break"; Iraq Comments "Last Straw" and "Were Not An Enormous Success"

Smearing Like It's 2003

Why Dick Cheney Cracked Up

Cheney Briefly Hospitalized After Television Appearance Yesterday; Vice President Complained Of Dizziness After Relentless Spin Session on ‘Meet The Press’

Top Ten Cloves: Slogans and Tag Lines For Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite – If Dick Cheney Was Pitchman

New White House Press Strategy On VP Shooting Deemed "Smashing Success"; Expect More Reports From Average Citizens, Local Papers Breaking News; President May Board Up Press Room

Bush To Change Legal Landscape; White House Primed To Replace "Miranda" With New, "Cheney Decision"; Says Still Tough On Crime; Won't Be Applicable For Rounded-Up Terror Suspects - "That's What Patriot Act Is For"

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day ... And the *61 President

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

Laura, Laura, Laura ... It's been awhile

And we can see you're at it again ...

Bad enough you dismissed the whole incompetence of your husband, and his cronies, with your "discouragement" statement (not to mention the soldiers and their families), now, you give the false impression that the Bush Grindhouse is opening its' arms to the - still growing - millions of Iraqi refugees.

Sounds like, Ms. Laura, you need some serious gatekeepers, like the possible next President, Hillary Clinton.

Or listen to former President Jimmy Carter, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, to get some honest advice.

And you're not going to get back to watching your television any time soon.

You've missed the big "American Idol" debacle, and the "Lost" finale ... Likely you won't be sitting up their in the living quarters gazing at "John From Cincinnati" either ...

The new golden boy, Petraeus, isn't talking about ending this thing soon, or even in this decade.

The dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds that your husband, slavishly, follows down his decomposing legacy want more war, not less, gleefully calling for the carpet bombing of Iran.

You had the chance - we asked you - to put an end to all this by bucking up, and taking on the First Chief Decideress Veto Killer-role, but, you ignored it.

Today's Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

U.S.: Attacks kill 14 American soldiers in Iraq; Bomb claims lives of 5 GIs and 4 Iraqis, U.S. military says; mayor’s office hit
So, you may get back to watching television, at some point, many years into your post-First Lady days. And you may need it, to distract you from the thumping and beating the historians give you your Commander Guy.

Especially since you have, perhaps, inadvertently called attention to it.

Your little ploy, to get people to donate $61 to the RNC, in honor of The Decider's birthday... Again, get yourself those gatekeepers ... Someone to keep you from putting both feet in your mouth ...

If you had someone like that, they'd tell you highlighting "61" isn't such a great idea ... And with his "legendary" term as a baseball team owner ...

"61" is the number that belongs to the the late, New York Yankee, Roger Maris, and his record-setting feat of breaking Babe Ruth's single season homerun record, back in 1961. And Maris was more vilified for it than heralded. So much so, that, since Ruth hit his homeruns in 154 games, and it took Maris 163 to hit #61, it was deemed his record would have a asterisk next to it.

So, the question has to be asked there, Miss First Lady, are you signaling the historians to designated your husband, and what will be a horrible legacy, with an asterisk. Perhaps tying him with Hoover?


Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

Petraeus Ex Machina

Previous Laura Bush Bummer Bombings of the Day

Top Ten Cloves: Strange Behavior First Day of Summer Visits Upon People

News Item: Revelers welcome summer solstice

10. Thanks to President Bush, Iraq named as the Second Worst Failing State

9. Dolly Parton gets named "Girl Scout for Life"

8. Perhaps to take advantage of more sunlight, Army wants to extend combat tours - again

7. Japan gets the urge to start renaming its' islands

6. Spice Girls (yawn) plan a reunion tour

5. Ann Althouse writes some batshit crazy, totally unglued, Freudian theory on Hillary Clinton's new Soprano video

4. Maybe it was part of the Downing Street Memo, but Bush wants to name Blair a Mideast Peace Envoy

3. The Vatican retools the 10 Commandments

2. French Government gets paranoid (or pragmatic) that their Blackberries are being tapped

1. White House Spokesman Tony Snow gets confused on whether or not Iraq war a good thing, or bad thing

Tony Blair - With the proposed position of Special Mid-East Envoy, does the former PM go from Bush's lap poodle, to seeing-eye dog?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: How Being Named "Girl Scout For Life" Is Going To Cramp Dolly Parton's Style

News Item: Dolly Parton Named Girl Scout for Life

10. Can't earn any badges for the work she does running Dollywood

9. Gets pretty bored, sitting around the campfire, swapping stories about the 5th Grade

8. Fails swimming program, after not being able to get life jacket around her, ahhh, upper torso

7. All her Hollywood friends will be on diets, just around the time she has to sell a few dozen cases of Mint Cookies

6. Gimp necklaces ... I don't think so ...

5. Won't let her used air-conditioned motor home on overnight camping trips

4. Set new, all-time Demerit mark for wearing high heels on hiking lesson

3. Troop gets pissed off; They're going to have to clear ASCAP before singing any campfire songs with her

2. With the way she'll fill out a Brownie uniform, the Boy Scouts will get a new lesson in "tents"

1. Loses talent show at summer camp, to a seven-year old baton twirler

Bonus Links

Dolly Parton on Wikipedia

Dolly Parton on IMBD

The Internet Pinball Database Presents Dolly Parton

Retro Garlic ... Cómo Se Dices "You're In The Army Now

Well, it appears that life and The Garlic are crossing paths again ...

Noticed this over the weekend;

Immigration bill offers a military path to US dream

And the caveat;

"The Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act, or DREAM Act, is part of the stalled package of proposals that many in Congress are seeking to resurrect. The proposal, applicable to an estimated 750,000 undocumented residents of military age, stipulates that those who arrived in the United States before age 16, graduated from high school, and meet other qualifications could immediately enter the path to citizenship in exchange for at least two years' service in the armed forces."

Now, back in April, 2006, The Garlic riffed, placing then Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld waxing on Immigration

Rumsfeld Weighs In On Immigration Battle; Won’t Tie It To War With Iran; Suggests Army Recruiting Woes Could Be Solved With Mandatory Service By Illegal Aliens

Rumsfeld offers, among other things that;

"They’ll get three-squares-a-day and it pays a helluva lot better then picking lettuce, or grapes, or whatever it is they do ...”

“I mean,” added the Secretary, “they’re coming here for the American experience ... the American Dream ... What could possibly embody that more than by serving in your country’s armed forces?”

Bonus Links


Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense

The Armageddon Plan

Monday, June 18, 2007

Pissing With The Big Dogs ... Evolution Sundays, Here We Come ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

We probably should have paid more attention. They put it out there and, we end up with a 5-4 High Court.

Well, if you missed any of those earlier Justice Sundays, you're in luck ...

Start packing the cooler and point the station wagon to the nearest mega-church south of the Mason-Dixon line, because our Weekly Garlic Poll Voters believe we got some Evolution Sundays on the horizon.

Now, we be talkin' some serious fire-and-brimstone ... No more opportunistic, camera-hogging, rat-catching politicians like Bill Frist and Tom DeLay mugging for votes ... This'll be red hot Elmer Gantry, but in HD and Dolby Surroundsound ... And some major, fat, pay-per-view dollars ...

If any 2008 Presidential candidate wants to get on this stage, then he/she better be able to piss with the big dogs ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll June 11 - June 17 2007

Since a new poll shows that a majority of Republicans don't believe in the Theory of Evolution, we can look for ...

1. Tony Perkins and James Dobson launching a series: Evolution Sundays Tally 38%

2. Booming business at the Creation Museum this summer Tally 29%

3. Brownback, Tancredo and Huckabee seeing a tremendous jump in their campaign fund raising Tally 19%

4. Dover, PA bracing for an onslaught of new threats from Pat Robertson Tally 14%

This week’s Poll - Places Congressional investigators should include in the search for the missing White House Emails include ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Bonus Links

Justice Sunday Preachers

Frist In Dispute Over Dem Bashing Telecast; Says Only Promised to "View Tape" for 'Justice Sunday'

Thousands Overwhelm Justice Sunday Rally; Sick and Infirm Disappointed; Came Seeking Faith Healers

American Idol Spin's Off New Born-Again Virgin Show; All Christian Music Format; Special Segment For Declaring New, Multi-Born Again Status

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Reverend Ralph Verified Tim Haggard Was "Completely Heterosexual"

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems With Pro Video-Game League Championship Gaming Series

News Item: The Championship Gaming Series is billed as the first true pro video-game league. Six-figure salaries are possible

10. Many miscues as contestants fingers get slippery, from GoldenPalace.Com wrist bands that start running and bleeding due to the sweat

9. Officials broadcast tournament on 10-second delay, to edit all the "shoutouts" to the record stores contestants work at

8. Numorous stopages, as contestants fight, after attempts to hack each others' computers during competition

7. Contestants look extremely jittery, having stayed up night before tournament binging on Jolt Cola and Twinkies

6. NASA astronaut Sunita "Suni" Williams get more buzz with plans on playing video game in space for the entire length of the tournament

5. Instead of a buxom, bikini-clad beauty in high heels, Card Girl for tournament is modeled on Zelda Gilroy

4. Computers crash when FBI illegally taps into tournament, trying to snoop and get information on the contestants

3. Boycott by contestants delay start of tournament - Want right to take skateboarding break between games

2. Special set built to replicate bedroom in cellar or garage doesn't come across very well on television

1. Tournament ends in scandal, when discovered not all contestants submitted their Parental Permission Slips

Bonus Links

ENTERTAINMENT 2.0: Game designers test the limits of artificial intelligence By Scott Kirsner

Top Ten Cloves: Things About ESPN Televising Dominoes Events

Instead of a buxom, bikini-clad beauty in high heels, Card Girl for tournament is modeled on Zelda Gilroy