Saturday, August 18, 2007

Oxymoron of the Day: Ayad Allawi and his 'A Plan for Iraq'

"Who could have imagined that Iraq would be in such crisis more than four years after Saddam Hussein?"

Well, he was a puppet for the Bush Grindhouse from the get-go, so it shouldn't be any big surprise, Ayad Allawi and his grand plan for Iraq that appears in today's Washington Post.

He was anointed, errr, appointed to be the "interim prime minister" after the Bush invasion and beginning of the occupation, by the puppet stable of the "Iraq Governing Council", not to be confused with L. Paul Bremer's puppet division, the Coalition Provisional Authority.

While he slobbers kisses all over the Bush Grindhouse in the first two paragraphs (The now-mandatory homage to Golden Boy, General David Petraeus, as well as the Iraq Embassy Cabana Boy, Ambassador Ryan Crocker, he plants a big wet one on The Commander Guy with "Let me be clear. Responsibility for the current mess in Iraq rests primarily with the Iraqi government, not with the United States...")

Ahhh, but the third paragraph ... That's where this shows, this grand plan starts to transform into a White House Iraq Group Talking Points Memo.
"Who could have imagined that Iraq would be in such crisis more than four years after Saddam Hussein?"
Well, for one, the current, sitting Vice President, Richard B. Cheney.

Here, in 1994, from C-SPAN.

And here, again, in 2000, courtesy of Keith Olbermann.

Hmmm ... Didn't Andy Card say something about not busting out a new marketing plan in August?

Some other gems ..

Wait! .. Wait! ... I Know ... I Know The Answer!
"I am working with my colleagues in parliament to build a nonsectarian majority coalition that will support the following six-point plan for a "new era" in Iraq and replace through democratic means the current Iraqi government."

All of You Who Said Iraq Will Be Cut Up Into Three States ... We Have Some Lovely Parting Gifts For You...

"Iraq must be a single, independent federal state"

"The Iraqi economy has been handicapped by corruption and inadequate security."

Hello, I Must Be Going!
"It is past time for change at the top of the Iraqi government. Without that, no American military strategy or orderly withdrawal will succeed, and Iraq and the region will be left in chaos."

Send barrels of purple ink to;

Ayad Allawi
c/o President George Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Bonus Links

Oxymoron of the Day: Karl Rove at an Idea Festival

Reports Show Iraqis Confused; Can’t Find “Road To Democracy”; Google Maps Comes Up Empty; Scores of Thousands Say Adds “Hours” On To Their Travels

White House Plunges Into New Iraq Strategy; Moving From ‘Keystone Cops’ To ‘Marx Brothers’; Denials Of “Stay The Course” Signal Major Shift; Possible Complete Erasing Of Iraq May Come In Time For Mid-Terms

Retro Garlic ... That Madcap McCain Is At It - Again!

John, John, John ...

This is getting embarrassing ...

I know that it's all the rage for the cheerleaders of the Bush Invasion and Occupation of Iraq to now paint themselves longstanding critics but, jeez ... You, Mr. Maverick ... Mr. Straight Talk Express ...

John, you jumped the shark on this months ago with your "Sunday In The Baghdad Park With John" moment ( you remember it don't you? The body armor? ... The gunship helicopters? ...)

The team has walked out on you, the money is dried up and the long, long fall has you flying coach now ....

And there's that Rhode Island Death Cat that's stalking you ...

Think Progress has it ...

"I Was The Greatest Critic’ Of The Iraq War Over The Last Four Years"

Drop the "I Was A Critic" bullshit, John ... Before it gets ugly ... Before the big dogs in the race really start picking on you .. Before you start to lose it, in public ... Those snapping, snarling moments that have you looking more like a guy that's going to burst into his office and start shooting up the place, than as a Presidential candidate ... Before the whispers start ... Those South Carolina whispers ... Are they real? Are they inside your head? ... Just stop John, before it gets ugly.

With nothing left to lose at this point, you might as well just go with "At least I'm not Rudy".

Friday, August 17, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Breaking The Speed of Light

News Item: 'We have broken speed of light'

10. Dick Cheney finally right about something... Predicted that "Speed of Light was in its' final throes"

9. Investigators looking into if light was abused at all, and if Michael Vick was involved

8. Rudy Guiliani angry; "You leave my Speed of Light alone, just like I'll leave your Speed of Light alone"

7. Colin Powell says you break it, you own it

6. Like his call for an Energy Initiative back in his 2006 SOTU address, Bush will ask Congress to enact the "No Speed of Light Left Behind" legislation

5. NASA likes it ... The consequences of an "astronaut moving faster than it would theoretically arrive at a destination before leaving" would help cut down on their drinking

4. Bill O'Reilly upset, believes it's a breakdown in traditional values; Launches war to "Save Our Speed of Light"

3. Next goal is to break speed of which Bush Administration breaks laws

2. CIA did an immediate check of their Secret Prison logs, to see if they had anyone named "Speed" or "Light" being tortured

1. Scientists who broke the theory are looking forward to hearing "Hey Nimitz" or "Hey Stahlhofen" used, instead "Hey Einstein" as a derogatory remark when someone does something stupid

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Six Degress of Seperation (Bush Grindhouse Edition)


USA PATRIOT Act (11/14/2003)

Office of the Press Secretary - May 1, 2003; President Bush Announces Major Combat Operations in Iraq Have Ended; Remarks by the President from the USS Abraham Lincoln At Sea Off the Coast of San Diego, California

(Alternate - ‘Mission Accomplished’ By The Numbers)

The death of habeas corpus - Olbermann: ‘The president has now succeeded where no one has before’

Digby: Architectural Disaster

Padilla Found Guilty on All Counts in Terror Case

Sorry Elvis, Tests Prove Bat Boy Love Child Of President Bush Is The Winner ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

We tried to give him an edge. We kept the poll open an extra day, so that, maybe, his legions of fans would swoop in to vote him to the top of the list.

We, so much, wanted to have a blazing headline - Elvis Caught On NSA Wiretaps! Plans Comeback - With Lindsey Lohan!

We did it to tie into today, this day, the anniversary day, when the King left us ... The Day Elvis Died.

But in heavy, and spirited voting, cooler heads prevailed ... The one's with their fingers on the pulse ... The one's who know came out on top ...

And the winner is ... Tests Prove Bat Boy Love Child Of President Bush!

Who says it isn't true?

Sure would like to be a fly-on-the-wall during that press conference.

Who was the President in a tryst with? When and where? ... Was it his office wife, Condi Girl? ... Was there more going on, last year, than a mere neck rub with German Chancellor Angela Merkel? ...Did he and Tony Blair adopt? ... Is Bat Boy the reason Turd Blossom resigned? ... All those secret locations the Vice President was moving around to to, was that to keep Bat Boy out-of-sight?

I guess we'll have to wait for that final World Weekly News to give us the 411 ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll August 7 - August 14, 2007

The World Weekly News is shutting down ... It's final headline should be ...

1. Tests Prove Bat Boy Love Child Of President Bush Tally 29%

2. Iowa Man Powers Car With Dead Wife's Hair Tally 22%

3. Space Aliens Warn, If Hillary Elected, Will Destroy Earth! Tally 21%

4. Elvis Caught On NSA Wiretaps! Plans Comeback - With Lindsey Lohan! Tally 19%

5. Bigfoot Says Has Secret Plan To End Energy Crises Tally 9%

This week’s Poll - Fearful of China, the Bush Grindhouse is calling Mattel's Toy Recall ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Bonus Links What if Elvis Presley had never been born?

Goodbye Bat Boy! ... Rumors True, World Weekly News Shutting Down!

A Further Embellishment On The Appropriately Named CREEP

Boy, we all know what Nixon was, and the people around him ...

But man, it is a little jarring, thanks to some old, archived film, to realize just how much of the cream of the scum they had ...

Joan Walsh of Salon has a doozy ...

Young Karl Rove

And to see the full report, from the CBS Evening News of January 18th, 1972, you can check out Karl Rove, GOP College Director of the Republican National Committee, third pillar of the Nixon Campaign tripod (the other two being the White House and the Campaign for Re-Election of the President).


To twist an old adage, the apple, with the razor blades in it, doesn't fall far from the tree

Or, as Joan writes;

"Yes, it reminded me why (many readers are too young to remember) the Committee to Re-elect the President was routinely referred to as "CREEP."

Bonus Links

The Committee to Re-elect the President (CREEP)

The Watergate Story

Watergate Plumber Chief Passes Away; E. Howard Hunt, Watergate Figure, Dead At 88; Nixon's Chief of Dirty Tricks Was Ex-CIA; Hand In Everything From Guatemala To Bay of Pigs

What lessons do you think the Young Karl Rove learned while working for Nixon's CREEP? How to turn out the vote, or how to run a scandal?

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Rudy ... You Like Jumpin' Those Sharks, Don't You!

Boy, oh boy ...

Less than a week after jumping over his first shark, Hizzonor, Mr. 9-11, is at it again ... This time, doing twirls, back flips, behind-the-backs, and one-handers, over a whole school of sharks ...

A whole neocon-drenched school of sharks ... Blood-thirsty, war-mongering, diplomacy-is-for-sissies school of sharks

He must be panging, for Stu Bykofsky's vision, of hoping for another Sept. 11th ...

To give you a glimpse of how bad it is, here's a snip of Josh Marshall over at TPM;

"...That a Giuliani foreign policy would best be described as Bush-plus and premised on the idea that President Bush has not pursued his terrible ideas aggressively enough."
In his essay, over at Foreign Policy, titled "Toward a Realistic Peace", Mr. I'm-One-Of-Them" sprinkling, liberally, his Nancy Reaganesque slogan of the "Terrorists' War on Us", puts the "You either with us or against us" on steroids, including dredging up "lessons from Vietnam" and waving the Bush Grindhouse's Fear Flag of "The consequences of abandoning Iraq would be worse."

It's a long, rambling, jingoistic, John Wayne jism of what will be his Foreign Policy, should the Red State voters not see through this one-trick-thrice-married pony and actually nominate him for President.

If you have the stomach, go read it ...

Bonus Links

Anonymous Liberal: Anyone But Giuliani

Josh Marshall at TPM - Giuliani: Catastrophe Waiting to Happen

A Rudy Bonus, On Immigration

The Reaction: Headline of the Day By Michael J.W. Stickings

Hmmm ... Diamonds or pearls for a preemptive strike? ... Whatdaya say there, Ms. Rudy?

Phil Rizzuto ... Great As He Was, The Scooter Didn't Always Have His Wheels On The Ground

Though he was before my time, and, growing up in Boston, I wasn't an audience to his long broadcasting career, but there was a twinge of sadness on hearing the news that former New York Yankee shortstop Phil Rizzuto passed away.

He won an MVP award (1950), played on the powerhouse Yankee teams that won 10 American League pennants and nine World Series championships, including five consecutive WS titles.

He also had his number retired by the Yankees and was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

And, when the TV show What's My Line premiered on February 2, 1950, Phil Rizzuto was the very first "mystery guest."

But perhaps, his bigger legacy came in the broadcast booth, shooting into the lexicon, the excited "Holy Cow!", and being die hard pinstripes.

And in his long broadcasting career, Rizzuto was also known for his penchant for gaffes, or not getting the facts correct, or, as the NYT put it "Over four decades in the Yankee announcing booth, Rizzuto transformed himself from a conventional announcer with a distinctly New York voice into an often comic presence."

One such occasion I was witness to.

I was living in Connecticut and could pick up the Yankee games.

It was a hot Saturday, around 1992 or 1993, and I can't remember who the Yankees were playing ...It was an away game, and, at one point, around the third-or-fourth-inning, a Yankee player hit a long fly ball to left field, that the leftfielder caught right in front of, but not quite against the wall, for the third out.

Rizzuto, all excited, called it a homerun ... Then quickly fell silent, and befuddled, as the opposing team was trotting off the field ... Rizzuto was aghast, wondering, on air, why they were leaving the field ... His broadcast partner (who I can't remember) broke the news to him that the ball was caught ...

Rizzuto vehemently disagreed, claiming the ball "was outta here" ...

They went to commercial break with Rizzuto arguing with this partner that it was a homerun

Upon returning from the commercial break, Rizzuto was still not totally convinced, saying "I coulda sworn that ball was outta here ..."

Way to go Scooter ... Say hello to the Mick for us ...

Bonus Links

Phil Rizzuto

Phil Rizzuto for The Money Store

Phil Rizzuto Quotes

Monday, August 13, 2007

Karl Rove ... How Do I Push Thee? ... Let Me Count The Ways

Rumors, theories, speculation
and just plain, juicy dirt abound across the regions of the World Wide Web ...

Of the many, many heads popping up to weigh in on Rove, one of them that stuck out above others was Joe Wilson, checking in to remind the MSM on Rove's involvement in the outing of a covert CIA agent ...

Rove resigns ... Explosion of news coverage, from cable-to-print-to-the-blogs ...

Hmmm ... What is that the Bush Grindhouse wants to get off the front pages?

Now, haven't we seen this movie before?

Doesn't this Bush Grindhouse have an unyielding tenacity to cover bad news attached to the Grindhouse with a "new" and "urgent" terror threat?

We can argue the terror value of Karl Rove, but it hasn't been that often that they've thrown a real human being, a staffer, under the al Qaeda-filled-Dirty Bomb-laden bus ... Former Secretary of War Donald Rumsfeld got the boot a few days after the 2006 Mid-Term elections, to change the conversation away from the miserable thumping the GOP received - courtesy of the new, Rovian 'The Math".

And what followed Rumsfeld's melted snowflakes, just a handful of weeks after his carcass was left on the doorstep?

The Surge!

Rove walks away the second week of August, and what's coming down the pipeline in September?

The Golden Boy, the man with the plan - General David Petraeus and his tablets from the mountain, the much-heralded status report on ...

The Surge!

How Do I Push Thee ... Let Me Count The Ways

Now, in the parlance of the Grindhouse, these "dead enders" who just want to throw mud on Rove, and build up the stature of the White House Chief of Staff ... Give him a big (and in Rove's case, that's literal, not figurative) scalp to hang on his wall.

After all, it was widely reported how Bo Boy bellowed out his Labor Day edict of you're either with us or against us, and Rove cowered, choosing to slink out the door.

Can't really buy into that one ... For however proficient Bo Boy is, he definitely doesn't have the balls, let alone the power, to push Rove out the door.

If there was a hint out there today, it may have come from The New York Times, ever so the cheerleader of the Bush Grindhouse and its' Rovian spin, whether it was Judy Miller in the past, or Michael Gordon in the present, today, blaming the Turd Blossom for the weak display in the Iowa Straw Poll, and spelling out doom for the GOP ...

Now where would that line of thought come from?

Perhaps from a former RNC Chairman ... Someone who was very much at the crime scene during the theft of the 2000 election ... Someone who just came aboard, to replace another person who was leaving to spend more time with his family ...

Ed Gillespie.
"As structured under Bush and Bartlett, the position of White House counselor has been a free-ranging adviser with broad authority over communications, as well as a hand in policy and almost everything else that comes across the president's desk. Both Bolten and Gillespie suggested that model will continue, though officials said it is unlikely that Gillespie will be able to fully replace Bartlett, who worked with Bush for almost 14 years and enjoyed an unusual rapport with him."
The GOP has to know the retaining the Oval Office is a pipe dream.

Thanks to the dead weight of Bush, and his insistence on staying in Iraq, the Dems could trot out the cadaver from "Weekend at Bernie's" and walk away with the 2008 election.

It's downstream that they have there eyes on ... Go for retaking the Congress, or, at minimum, cut the majority down to tie-up efforts of the incoming Dem Pres.

And after the drubbing they took in November 2006, me thinks the RNC had to be squawking - loudly - that they were going back to their old multiplication tables, having no stomach for more of that Rovian 'The Math".

In sum, the base, the rank-and-file, don't think of endearing images when they hear the words "Turd Blossom".

"Always the dollars. Always the fucking dollars."

With the Bush Brain Boy staring at multiple investigations, and his lantern empty of any new Genies, there's going to be a run on Geiger Counters in those flaming Red States.

It will come in whispers, blind items, "a former staffer on the Hill" ... Rove did this ... Rove did that ... That was Rove's fault ... Nothing will come out of the Grindhouse, at least not attributable, but it will come ...

Rove blew the 2006 election ... The Bush Policy Legacy?... And that big, dominating, GOP dynasty? ... Karl Rove failed and the crowd he runs with can, and will be, very unforgiving.

It's like in Casino, with Joe Pesci lamenting about the bosses, that it's "Always the dollars. Always the fucking dollars."

Karl Rove has been cashed out.

He's not an earner any longer.

Bonus RovePalooza Links

The Mahablog: Filed under: Bush Administration

Martin Lewis: Give Karl Rove The Ultimate Gift!

Arianna Huffington: Rove Exits with his Usual M.O.: Delusional, Fanatical, and Deceptive

Think Progress: Karl Rove’s Record Of Failed Predictions

Jane Hamsher: Why Don’t Journalists Just Tell Us What They Know?

R.J. Eskow: Finding True Rove -- And That 'Book-Reading' Contest With the President

I Sing the Body Electric

Perp Walk Delayed ... Rove Deep-Sixes Himself!

No Friday night dump for this felon ... Er, fellow ...

No siree-bob, the Blossom Turd gets, not just one, but two banner blow jobs from the Wall Street Journal.

The well-worn "time with my family" mantra is the overriding reason Rove is taking it on the arches at the end of the month. Bo Boy, Chief of Staff Josh Bolten also threw a snit, barking at the Grindhouse staff that you can take the life raft now, but if you stay past Labor Day, you're going down with the ship.

Quite the Office Pool dilemma today ...

Does The Decider guy get all choked up and misty in today's scheduled announcement on the South Lawn, before The Vacation Guy heads down to Crawford?

Or, how many times does The Commander Guy reference, and/or tie-in, al Qaeda in Iraq to Rove's resignation?

Wonder if Nancy Pelosi will pass up her tanning day on Stinson Beach to check on where the investigations are at, and what this announcement does to them.

Maybe Rove "did The Math", and sees that there's an even a bigger shit train coming in these last 17-months, one that may, doubtful, but possibly, get Rove out of the history books as being the "Architect" of the worst U.S. Presidency of all-time.

Maybe it was just "Bush Fatigue".

They don't call'em the "Dog Days of August" for nothing.

There'll be more on this ... Oh yeah, much more ...

Bonus Links

TalkLeft: Court Reissues PlameGate Opinion Adding Karl Rove's Name

Truthout-The Free Press: Are Rove's Missing Emails the Smoking Guns of the Stolen 2004 Election?

Oxymoron of the Day: Karl Rove at an Idea Festival

White House In Crises, As Rove Takes Credit For North Korean Nuke Test; Sources Say ‘Bush’s Brain” Weary From Sinking Polls, Fundraising; Too Tired To Come Up With New October Surprise

Two Peas In A Pod ... A Secret Pod ... An Executive Privileged, Classified Pod ...

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Shoutout For Lloyd!

As our regular readers know, since we first launched, The Garlic has often pointed out the great writing, humor and satire of our friend, Barry Crimmins. He's traveled the world, won accolades and awards, tirelessly fighting the good fight.

However, today, and for the past week, or so, he, along with his girlfriend and partner, Karen, have a very personal battle they are waging.

Their beloved pet dog Lloyd is gravely ill, a tumor on his heart, and a prognosis that, sadly, only reaches forward weeks-to-a-few-months.

Over the thousands-of-hours of conversation with Barry, I don't think Lloyd was never not mentioned. His smile ... His antics ... Barry, at times, would describe, in Chandleresque detail, Lloyd's scoping out or hunting down another critter on their property ... The joy, the smile that Lloyd would show, and the pride that Barry couldn't hide, of having "the world's smartest dog".

So, Barry has taken a break from fighting the evil of the world and has given over his website to writing about Lloyd.

For anyone that has, or has had, a loved dog or pet, you will know the heartache and hope which comes through in Barry's posts.

Take a spin over to his website and scroll through (or use the links below) ... And, whether you click over or not, toss a good vibe out there for Lloyd ...

Lloyd Links

Barry Crimmins

A Sunday Gift

Living in a Lovely Moment

Sniffing for hope

Of hearts and hounds

Sick Friend

Shoutout for Truthout!

Something Cool for a hot, summer's day ...

Hopefully, many of our readers are aware of the great resource site, Truthout.

If you click through any of the link-loaded Garlic posts, you'll find a good measure of those pointing back to a Truthout post.

Truthout, for those not in-the-know, is "a full-service news agency dedicated to establishing a powerful, stable voice for independent journalism, whose mission is one of education aimed at perpetuating and strengthening our American democracy. We are committed to making available a broad range of political news and editorial analysis."

It would be quite the gray day if they were not out there on the big, ole World Wide Web

And in case you missed it, with the Bush Grindhouse amping up the war rhetoric, take a look at a few of the folks battling the against that - The Truthout 2007 Freedom and Democracy Awards (And, no, I'm not going to spoil it for you, or make it easy ... You're going to have to click through to see who has been anointed in Truthout's inaugural awards).

So, get on over there, check'em out and give'em your support.

Visit and Bookmark Truthout

Truthout 2007: Freedom and Democracy Awards

And Speaking of Something Cool

Listen to a clip of the sultry-voiced June Christy singing 'Something Cool'