Saturday, July 04, 2009

Happy Fourth of July!

Hooray for the Red, White and Blue!

Happy Fourth of July! ... Independence Day!

The Garlic wants to wish all a very happy, safe, enjoyable holiday, wherever, and whatever the manner in which you celebrate it.

This may be our only post of the day, as we haven't finished, what has been a burgeoning tradition the past two years, of penning a "Garlictorial" (see today's This Date ... On The Garlic, for the previous efforts).

If we don't get it up later in the day, perhaps tomorrow.

In the meantime, kick up your heels, with this well-worn classic;

Stars and Stripes Forever

If, you want something, a bit off the beaten path, we can hip you to another, that, unfortunately, almost, exists exclusively on jazz radio stations, invariably, blared out today on many a playlist.

It is the Sauter-Finegan Orchestra, "Doodletown Fifers", performed, faithfully, by the Bill May Orchestra

The Doodletown Fifers

This, as it turned out, was the only big hit of the short-lived Sauter-Finegan Orchestra;

Sauter-Finegan was an extraordinary 21-piece band, the like of which has never been seen before or since. The music was so complex that it depended on first-class musicians, many of whom contributed on three or four instruments each . The exquisite music of Sauter and Finegan frolicked in every range of the band, with fife and piccolo at the top and tuba and bass trombone at the bottom.

Although never a raging success, the band was able to go on tour between 1952 and 1957 and it recorded a dozen or so albums. Its biggest hit was "The Doodletown Fifers", based on an old Civil War song. "Midnight Sleigh Ride" called for horse's hooves as an introduction and backing, and Finegan achieved this sound by stripping to the waist and beating his chest before the microphone.
You can go HERE, for the Sauter-Finegan rendition, just scroll down to "Doodletown Fifers"

(Jazz Freaks will know, that it was Eddie Sauter who arranged the Stan Getz album, "Focus")

So, once again, Happy Fourth of July!

This Date ... On The Garlic

4 July 2008... On The Garlic

Garlictorial: He Did What? ... Where?

What Better Way To Capture The Essence of the Day

Have You Thanked America?

Garlictorial: La Cage aux Florida

4 July 2007... On The Garlic

Garlictorial: Happy 4th of July ... Okay, It May Be Down To This .... Citizen's Arrest!

4 July 2006... On The Garlic

Garlictorial: Happy 4th of July - To Be A Fly On The Potato Salad Up In Kennebunkport Today

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons New Superman Isn’t Fighting For Truth, Justice and The American Way

Friday, July 03, 2009

Now, Only An Ex-Governor, With Lipstick

So much for a quiet, pre-holiday day.

Who woulda' thunk it?

Something actually knocked the MichaelJacksonPalooza off the air, it was was none other than Mommy Moose, The Wasilla Wiz Kid, that Hockey-Mom-with-Lipstick, Stumblin-Bumblin' John McCain's former scene-stealer, Sarah Palin.

She's not quitting, she's just ... Well ... Quitting ....

Ms. Ya'Bet'cha's is bailing out of the Alaskan Governorship, mid-way through, to go on and fight for something vague and unnamed, but with all her heart

If life is 33RPM, Mommy Moose was pitched at 78RPM, and, it must be in the new 2009 PartyofNoican's Playbook, after Governor Gaucho displayed it last week, that you must be almost frantically rambling when giving a press conference ... Cool-and-Calm is out, coked-up speed freak is in.

And, check out the way The Wasilla Whiz Kid was gulping air through out the speech;

Sarah Palin Announces Resignation as Governor, Part 1

Sarah Palin Announces Resignation as Governor, Part 2

(You can read a transcript HERE)

I half expected to see the, now-unemployed team of the Unconvicted Child Molester's docs come running on the scene, offering their services, or someone, slapping an oxygen mask on her.

And, at the end of Part 2, notice, when the camera pans, there's like, a dozen people there, perhaps only close friends and family, not a sea of torch-carrying Alaskans, ready to march into that vague, unnamed fight, with the former Hockey Mom.

Geez, ya think Mommy Moose, or someone on her staff, would have tied in a product placement with Verizon, so they could CGI in the throngs of people standing by the geeky guy, always affirming "you're covered", to avoid looking like the "before Dead Zone"

If you want, there's a zillion posts out on Memeorandum that you can click through, while we highlight a few here.

It's only Act I, of a multiple act play, so no telling what this is all about today, the sudden, abrupt ditching of the Governor digs.

The Right Wing Freak Show is beginning to rally around that this is the cannon shot for 2012.

Here, on The Garlic, we go with the smaller number of hands raised, betting on ....

New Scandal!

On Firedoglake, bmaz was the first to hint at it, followed closely by Brad Friedman;

EXCLUSIVE: PALIN RESIGNS AS 'DAMAGE CONTROL' DUE TO 'ICEBERG SCANDAL', SAYS ALASKAN SOURCE ... UPDATE: Shannyn Moore offers The BRAD BLOG hints about reasons for Alaska Gov's resignation...

UPDATE: Alaskan Sarah Palin authority (and occasional BRAD BLOG guest blogger) Shannyn Moore, who broke the news at HuffPo today, tells me she believes, with good reason, that there is an "iceberg scandal that's about to break. She's doing damage control."

She says Palin is "resigning as part of damage control" due to a scandal this is "not of a family nature."

"The governor would not be able to continue her job when it comes out," she told me on the phone just now, before adding: "Why would Mark Sanford not resign, but Sarah Palin did? Her family didn't even know about the resignation until they were standing with her by the lake" when she made her announcement.

Yes. It seems another shoe, apparently a big one, will indeed be dropping, likely within the next week or so. Perhaps earlier now that everyone will be poking around up there.

Max Blumenthal goes into a bit of detail in his "Did a Scandal Sink the U.S.S. Palin?"

Many political observers in Alaska are fixated on rumors that federal investigators have been seizing paperwork from SBS in recent months, searching for evidence that Palin and her husband Todd steered lucrative contracts to the well-connected company in exchange for gifts like the construction of their home on pristine Lake Lucille in 2002. The home was built just two months before Palin began campaigning for governor, a job which would have provided her enhanced power to grant building contracts in the wide-open state.

SBS has close ties to the Palins. The company has not only sponsored Todd Palin's snowmobile team, according to the Village Voice's Wayne Barrett, it hired Sarah Palin to do a statewide television commercial in 2004.

Though Todd Palin told Fox News he built his Lake Lucille home with the help of a few "buddies," according to Barrett’s report, public records revealed that SBS supplied the materials for the house. While serving as mayor of Wasilla, Sarah Palin blocked an initiative that would have required the public filing of building permits—thus momentarily preventing the revelation of such suspicious information.

Just months before Palin left city hall to campaign for governor, she awarded a contract to SBS to help build the $13 million Wasilla Sports Complex. The most expensive building project in Wasilla history, the complex cost the city an additional $1.3 million in legal fees and threw it into severe long-term debt. For SBS, however, the bloated and bungled project was a cash cow.

And we have to give Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo points, for his headline "if the jimmy choo fits, the other one's about to drop"

With the summer here, Congress out-of-session, beaches brimming with vacationers, Mommy Moose has put down her marker, almost guaranteeing her ownership of the media (save for the on-going Jackson Family dragging things out to pump the record and video sales; H/T to Barry Crimmins).

And it's Jonathan Turley that rings up that feeling quite well;
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has announced that she will resign from office on July 26th. The news has led bloggers and comedians to breath into paper bags and use emergency dial-ins for their analysts across the country. Palin has been God’s gift to bloggers, including this blog. But fear not, this announcement may actually promise more not less Palin!
Yes, just what this country needs - More of Sarah Palin.

Hmmm ....

We do have a Poet Laureate, so, perhaps, Mommy Moose is carving out the "Jester Laureate" for herself.

Hell, by her news conference today, your guess is as good as mine ...

This Date ... On The Garlic

3 July 2007... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic - New Keith Olbermann Special Comment: Bush, Cheney should resign

You Got Away With It Once, Cheney, But We're Watching You ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

3 July 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Superman Will Do To Show That He Is Not Gay

Thursday, July 02, 2009

New Billy Mays Pitch ... Casket-Glo

Sure enough, there were a few things in the can.

"Hi, Billy Mays here ... Tired of going to wakes and funerals and seeing dull, lackluster, caskets? ... Have your loved ones been buried in a drab-looking, listless, less-than-shining box? ...

(Mays, pointing to a dull, drab casket)

Well, worry no more!

(Mays, holding up a bottle of Casket-Glo)

Casket-Glo will give you the peace-of-mind, that you are being laid out in a brilliant, gleaming, beaming-mirror-shined casket ... Mourners will have to wear sunglasses, with the high quality, water-proof shine of Casket-Glo ...

(Mays, walking over to a glowing, buffed-and-shine, casket, angles of light bouncing off it)

You can kick it (Mays kicks the casket) ... You can scratch it (shot of car keys scraping casket) ... You can pour hot coffee on it (cup of coffee being poured over casket) and you can't dull the shine of Casket-Glo.

Casket-Glo-shined caskets have been seen from Google Earth!

Call now, and we will add in the Casket-Glo Buffer, a specially-designed polishing machine, developed by scientists, to bring out the shine-of-your-life, that only Casket-Glo can give you, for your eternal rest.

But wait, there's more!

We will double your order, and send you two bottles of Casket-Glo, and, four-quarts of embalming fluid, absolutely free!

Be the shining star in your church, or synagogue, and order your Casket-Glo today?

Call now, and you get two bottles of Casket-Glo, the special Casket-Glo Buffer ... And, four-quarts of embalming fluid (as our gift) all for only 19.99!

(Mays, holding up bottle of Casket-Glo)

That's $19.99 for the shine of your life

Casket-Glo ... Don't be buried without it!"

Bonus Billy Mays Riffs

Eric Deggans: Marketers, family decide Billy Mays infomercials will continue

Reuters: Infomercials lack starpower after Billy Mays death

RadarOnLine: Coroner: Heart Disease Cause Of Billy Mays' Death

Top Ten Billy Mays Commercials

It's Kaboom-Time for Billy Mays

This Date ... On The Garlic

2 July 2008... On The Garlic

Raymond, Why don't you pass the time with a game of solitaire?

I Could'a Had Class ... I Could'a Been A Contender ...

2 July 2007... On The Garlic

"What Did He Know and When Did He Know It" ... The Monday Massacre

Appellate Court Playing Our Song - Libby Denied Bond Pending Appeal

2 July 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Another spirited week of voting, on The Garlic’s Weekly Poll ...The Garlic's Weekly Poll Results - Cheney/Rice Beat Out Coulter

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

They See London, They See France ...

Man, when I first read through this BBC article, I had to pause, to think if this was something scientific, or, the outline of a new horror screenplay, perhaps pulling the old cast of "Tremors" together again, for another "monsters-underground" adventure.

There's also a suspicion, this surfacing at the same time as the ongoing saga of Governor Gaucho, and his Argentinian soul mate.

Ant mega-colony takes over world

Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same interrelated colony, and will refuse to fight one another.

The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.

What's more, people are unwittingly helping the mega-colony stick together.


While ants are usually highly territorial, those living within each super-colony are tolerant of one another, even if they live tens or hundreds of kilometres apart. Each super-colony, however, was thought to be quite distinct.

But it now appears that billions of Argentine ants around the world all actually belong to one single global mega-colony.


The most plausible explanation is that ants from these three super-colonies are indeed family, and are all genetically related, say the researchers. When they come into contact, they recognise each other by the chemical composition of their cuticles.

"The enormous extent of this population is paralleled only by human society," the researchers write in the journal Insect Sociaux, in which they report their findings.
We've had threats with bats, the honeybees, and now, we got deal with Argentinian Ants ... Argentinian ants that pal around together, like some world hood gang?

Dependable Renegade smells a conspiracy, while PZ Myers, has a more resigned take, suggesting "You better start practicing your tango is you hope to get along with our new arthropod overlords."

Lastly, you can't do a post on ants, without putting this up with it;

Sinatra's classic song High Hopes

Not Sure What Kind of Stimulus Package Would Be Appropriate Here ...

Picked up this interesting gem, yesterday, from SiliconValley.Com;

This recession is so bad not even sex sells

How bad is this recession? Even sex doesn't sell.

That's the glum assessment of those in the adult entertainment industry, hundreds of whom gathered last week for the annual Cybernet Expo conference in San Francisco. The industry, now a multibillion-dollar online business, has discovered that people just aren't willing to click-to-pay for vice the way they once did.

"Times are tough," Jay Kopita, director of operations for the expo, said with a sigh. "You'd think this would be recession-proof."

Turns out pay-per-view sex is just another sector struggling in the downturn.


Piracy is also cutting into profits with the proliferation of "tube sites" — the YouTubes of porn where copyrighted video clips are frequently illegally uploaded. "We are being devastated by this," said Dick Webber, who operates a Silicon Valley-based Web site and who, like the actors, goes by a stage name.

"The Internet is both a help and a hindrance," said longtime porn performer and producer Dave Cummings, who expects his next movie, "Knee Pad Nymphos Volume 10," to fall victim to online thieves. "I'm convinced the first day it's out it will be a popular video to be stolen."

Many at the conference talked of altering business plans to provide content, such as live Webcams, that can't be ripped off. "There is no incentive for a surfer to subscribe to a site unless you have some offering that is unique and can't be replicated on a tube site," Webber said.
Hmmmm ...

Foley, Vitter, Craig, Ensign and, now, Governor Gaucho ...

Maybe they need to hire some congressman, and other elected government officials, to boost sales.

Fête du Canada!

Our neighbors to the north have a celebration today, so a hearty "Happy Canada Day" to one, and all.

Canada Day, according to Wikipedia, "is Canada's national day, a federal statutory holiday celebrating the anniversary of the 1 July 1867 enactment of the British North America Act, which united Canada as a single country of four provinces. Canada Day observances take place throughout Canada as well as internationally."

Friend, and co-blogger Michael Stickings, over on his 'The Reaction', has his flag flying high, and, as a bonus, he posts, and points to a classic retro rendition of "O Canada", put up by Bobby Mustang, on his blog, Bark Bark, Woof Woof.

Here, we like this one;

Edmonton Oilers Fans sing O Canada

And, not to stir up trouble on the holiday, hockey fans will remember this Tit-for-Tat, during the 2008 NHL Playoffs;

Canadiens Fans boo/disrespect National Anthem

Boston's response to Montreal booing the US National Anthem

Forget Bears, He's Always Been Smarter Than The Average Person

Give a big "Happy B'Day shout out to Smokey Bear!

He's hit the big 6-5!

And, it's a good thing he's a fictional icon, otherwise, if he hadn't already been replaced by a younger bear, displaced due to outsourcing, been bought, and liquidated, hitting 65, he would be slapped with mandatory retirement, and, likely, given a watered-down pension (if one, at all).

Happy 65th Birthday, Smokey Bear!

Smokey Bear is celebrating his 65th birthday in a series of new PSAs from the U.S. Forest Service and the National Association of State Foresters in conjunction with the Ad Council. The TV, radio, print and online campaign is being launched in time for the July 4 holiday to raise awareness among people lighting campfires and outdoor BBQs and setting off fireworks


Since his "birth" on Aug. 9, 1944, Smokey Bear has become a recognized symbol of conservation and protection of America's forests. According to the Ad Council, his message has helped to reduce the number of acres burned annually by wildfires from about 22 million in 1944 to an average 7 million today. Of those fires, nine out of 10 are caused by people. At the same time, Smokey has become one of the most recognizable figures in the U.S., ranking with Mickey Mouse and Santa Claus, according to the Ad Council. Smokey is recognized by 97% of adults, and 75% can recall "Only you can prevent wildfires" without prompting, according to an Ad Council tracking survey.


"Smokey Bear is the center of the longest-running -- and one of the most successful -- public service campaigns in U.S. history," Peggy Conlon, president-CEO of the Ad Council, said in announcing the new campaign. "Our 'Wildfire Prevention' campaign has helped children and adults throughout the country understand their role in preventing wildfires, and these new PSAs and online components will continue to have a significant impact."
And, save the emails, Smokey Bear is his name.

From Wikepedia;
Smokey's correct full name is Smokey Bear. In 1952, songwriters Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins had a hit with "Smokey the Bear". The pair said that "the" was added to Smokey's name to keep the song's rhythm. This small change has caused confusion among Smokey fans ever since.[2] Note that, from the beginning, Smokey's name was intentionally spelled differently from the adjective smoky. The Forest Service emphatically denies that the name was ever "Smokey the Bear"; however, in the 1950s, that variant of the name became very widespread both in the popular imagination and in print, including at least one standard encyclopedia.[3] The campaign to remind the public of the correct version of the name is almost as old as the Smokey Bear campaign itself.

The fictional character Smokey Bear is administered by three entities: the United States Forest Service, the National Association of State Foresters, and the Ad Council. Smokey Bear's name and image are protected by U.S. federal law, the Smokey Bear Act of 1952 (16 U.S.C. 580 (p-2); 18 U.S.C. 711).[4]
And, remember, "Only you can prevent forest fires."

With the longevity (and tons of money) of this campaign, I wouldn't mind seeing, say a Leno "Jaywalking", or some other man-on-the-street interview, posing the question to average citizens, "Who is it said of that can prevent forest fires?"

Happy B'Day Smokey Bear!

Visit Smokey Bears' website

This Date ... On The Garlic

1 July 2008... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: About The Only Way General Wesley Clark Could Have Done Worse

1 July 2005... On The Garlic

DC Holiday Fireworks To Feature Bolton; Park Service Officials Livid At New Novak Leak

GoldenPalace.Com Rumored To Win Lunch With Buffet for $351G's; Funds Go To Charity; Extra's Included Oracle of Omaha Being Tattooed With Casino Logo

Top Ten Cloves: Things That Will Ruin Your Summer Vacation

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Like A Lover

We're going light this evening, as it was a rather busy day on the homefront, and not time enough to do anything meaningful (though there are a number of juicy items for ravaging, which, hopefully, we'll get to in the next day, or two).

However, despite the desire for respite, we can't possibly pass up on Governor Gaucho, today.

If Keith Olbermann every wants to reprise his "Hey ... Get A Shovel", there is a man, desperately in need of such coaching, down in South Carolina.

The divorce lawyers in the area must be licking their chops, as they send email, letters, telegrams, or even, skywriters, encouraging Governor Gaucho to "Keep Talking - Please!"

His staff should start looking to get that Hannibal Lecter mask thingy, if this guy, either can't control himself, or doesn't want to control himself.

Or, simply, it may just be, as Alison Stewart, sub-hosting on 'The Rachel Maddow Show", suggested, that Governor Gaucho fell out of the love tree, hitting every branch on the way down.

Sanford Calls Mistress His 'Soul Mate' ... S.C. Governor Also Admits To Other Dalliances

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford called his Argentine mistress his "soul mate" Tuesday, but said that he would try to fall back in love with his wife.

Sanford also admitted Tuesday that he saw Maria Belen Chapur more times than previously disclosed, and that he had "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress in the past -- but never had sex with them.


The governor said he met Chapur in Punta Del Este, Uruguay, in 2001 after his final term in Congress and before his first term as governor. He said the two struck up an e-mail correspondence after meeting on a dance floor -- a chance encounter during which he counseled her into the night about her failing marriage.

"There was some kind of connection from the very beginning," he told The Associated Press.

What "Tips for Cheating Spouses" is this guy reading?

Not sure that is the kind of thing you want to say, publically, no less, if you are intent of making good with your wife.

Maybe, as he nears a podium, or gaggle of reporters, the staff should just run out an tackle him.

John Amato, on Crooks and Liars;
Did Sanford tell the AP what the Bible says about "letting his guard down?" What does that even mean? It means that he's a player and has been for a long time.
Will his wife think he should be given a second chance after reading and hearing about all of this? Sanford is a mess and can't stop talking about "Maria." Isn't there a show on the BBC about Maria?

'How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?'

I think there's a reality show in this somewhere. Does Sanford really want to stay married? It certainly sounds like he'd rather have the media send love notes to Maria, his true soul mate than make up with his wife.
Calling the woman, who is not your wife, your "soul mate" ...

Leonard Pinth Garnell, if he were hosting something like "Bad Marriage Theatre", would only be left to utter, "Monumentally ill-advised!", or, perhaps, "Astonishingly ill-chosen!"

However, as has been a tradition here on The Garlic, to provide soundtracks for those in a bind, we have the song for you, Governor Gaucho.

It is full of breaking-heart longing, aching passion, something only directed at ones' true soul mate.

Go for it, Governor Gaucho, copy the link, and fire it off!

Like A Lover - Carmen McRae

LIKE A LOVER - Carmen McRae

Bonus Governor Gaucho Riffs

Wonkette: Sanford Talks Of ‘Soul Mate,’ Other Ladies In Most Embarrassing Interview Yet

D-Day: Sanford's Peculiar "Honesty"

Alan Colmes: Sanford Says He Didn’t Tell The Truth When He Said He Was Telling Us The Truth

Joan Walsh: Mark Sanford's slow-motion crackup

This Date ... On The Garlic

30 June 2008... On The Garlic

Round and Round and Round ...

A Wolcott Howler!

30 June 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! White House, Congress To Clear “Outrage Backlog”; Bush, Congress Plan Retro Rebuke Of Novak, Sun-Times Over Plame Leak; Tracing Funds, Gay Marriage, Flag Amendment, War On Terror Cited For “Outrage Backlog”

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard On President Bush’s Trip To Graceland

30 June 2005... On The Garlic

Army Recruiting Up; Now Eyes Increase In Applause; White House To Investigate Low Clapping During Ft. Bragg Terror Speech

Top Ten Cloves: Ways The Army Met Recruiting Goals For First Time Since January

Monday, June 29, 2009

The New Musical: "Web Site Story."

We have to give a H/T to Greg Mitchell (@GregMitch) for highlighting this one.

Seems the lads and ladies at College Humor have come up with another sparkler;

Web Site Story - CollegeHumor's first Broadway musical since (LOL) Cats!

Not bad, but there could have been a few more things added.

Like, with all the foreclosures going on, they could have shot on location, much the way they did for the epic 1961 film, using the abandoned neighborhood in the upper 50's and 60's (which would soon become the Lincoln Center).

And, another song, put to "Officer Krupke"
Senator Stevens, you're really a square;
Your trial didn't need a judge, just some good ol' laissez faire
With all those additions, that shoulda' been logged
Your Internet Tubes are permanently clogged!

Tubes are clogged, Tubes are clogged
Tubes are clogged, clogged, clogged
Like we're sociologically clogged!

Gee, Senator Stevens,
You must think that we are some kind of boobs
'Cause no one wants an Internet that's made out of tubes.
Gee, Senator Stevens,
What are we to do?
Gee, Senator Stevens,
Tube you!
No sense on nitpicking ...

Like Ice said, Play it cool, boy ... Real Cool ... "

This Date ... On The Garlic

29 June 2008... On The Garlic

No, Wait ... I Think It's Iran Training al-Qaeda To Pump The Gas ...

More Carlin ...

29 June 2007... On The Garlic

Moyers Mashes Magpie Murdoch

Top Ten Cloves: Things To Do While Waiting In Line To Buy The New iPhone

29 June 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard In Supreme Court, During Guantanamo War Crimes Trials Deliberations

29 June 2005... On The Garlic

Bush Clarifies Iraq Mission; New Contract Issued To Halliburton To Measure Elusive Progress

Confusion, Disappointment Follows Graham Crusade; Many Mistook Revival For Justice Sunday Event; Wanted Rhetoric, Not Redemption

Aruban Case Expanding To Europe; Anyone Named van der Sloot Being Rounded-Up

Top Ten Cloves: How Iraqis Celebrated Year Anniversary of Sovereignty

Sunday, June 28, 2009

It's Kaboom-Time for Billy Mays

Well, they say that the Grim Reaper, death, comes in threes, and, after Farah Fawcett, and the Unconvicted Child Molester last week, that third shoe (or airplane ceiling), appears to have dropped, and claimed its' victim.

The world of Direct Marketing, and Infomercials, will never be the same.

Reports today are that the vociferous pitchman, Billy Mays, is dead

Billy Mays dies at 50; boisterous TV pitchman

Mays, 50, the emphatic and well-known hawker of the OxiClean stain remover, the Zorbeez super chamois, a sticky substance called Mighty Putty and many other items offered for an amazing low price, was found unresponsive in his Tampa, Fla., home Sunday morning. He was declared dead by a fire rescue crew at 7:45 a.m., according to Sgt. Christopher Ugles, a spokesman for the Tampa Police Department.


Mays' surprising death came as he was enjoying an unlikely degree of fame and fortune as a practitioner of "direct-response advertising," the infomercial-style spots that drive a $150-billion industry. He and his sometimes-collaborator Anthony Sullivan have racked up more than $1 billion in combined sales, according to Fortune magazine. In April, the Discovery Channel began airing "Pitchmen," a reality TV show based on their exploits.

"I hate to say it, but the king is dead," Sullivan said in a statement Sunday. " . . . I'll always remember his booming voice -- him saying 'Hi, Billy Mays here.' He was the best friend a man could wish for. He was much more than people knew."
But wait!

We can't have a mega-celebrity death without some sort of titillating controversy, which those muckrakers from Hollywood provide the angle that will have lawyers running to Florida throughout the night;

FAA -- Billy Wasn't Wearing a Seat Belt on Plane

The FAA is already deflecting blame for the death of Billy Mays -- claiming the legendary TV pitchman wasn't wearing a seat belt when he took a shot to the head during a rough landing on a flight he was on yesterday.

Here's what we know -- Billy Mays was aboard US Airways Flight 1241 flying from Philadelphia, which landed roughly when the front tire blew out as it touched down. After the flight, Billy told FOX 13 in Tampa that something struck him in the head -- here's Billy's actual quote:

"All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping. It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head."

We had such plans for Billy Mays.

Just last November, The Garlic, saw the perfect synergy, for the frayed, tattered, falling-apart GOP, and America's Pinnacle Pitchman;
Could This Be The Answer For The Torn GOP?
The secret, of course, is Mays, and his "Mighty Mendit"

Sounds like U.S. Air could have used some of that Mighty Mendit.

Bonus Billy Mays (Was) Here Riffs

CNN: Billy Mays, OxiClean pitchman, found dead

People: Informercial Pitchman Billy Mays Dies at 50

BayNews9: Billy Mays remembered as 'hardest working man in TV'

Barry Crimmins: De-electable

As Seen On TV: Top Ten Billy Mays Commercials


This Date ... On The Garlic

28 June 2008... On The Garlic

Unity? ... Show Me The Money!

28 June 2007... On The Garlic

Here's At Least One Person We Know, For Sure, Isn't Part of The Executive Branch

Everybody, Give A Big Hand! ... Let's Welcome NBC's David Gregory To The Freak Show!

28 June 2006... On The Garlic

White House, RNC Rolling Out Greatest Hits, Summer Reruns; Times Bashing, Santorum WMD’s Sign of Rove Bookmark For Base; Mehlman Promises “To Stay The Course On Dems”

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard In Senate Yesterday, During Flag Burning Debate and Vote

28 June 2005... On The Garlic

Supreme Court In Disarray; Confuses Two Rulings; Demand Reporters Provide Source of Ten Commandments

Bush Undecided On Speech Wardrobe; Aides Suggest Fatigues Over Flight Suit As Means To Show Determination

Gonzales Unwraps Justice Statues With Fanfare; 'When Eagles Soar' Played During Unveiling; New AG Orders Fully Nude Works

Rumsfeld Confirms Insurgent Talks and Long Haul; Details Sketchy But "Not Negotiating With Terrorists"

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Dick Cheney Thinks Is In Its' Last Throes"