Saturday, December 13, 2008

Yet Another Reason We Called Him 'Stumblin' and Bumblin'

Dead Campaign Express pulled off another one.

While there are efforts being made to expunge the gutter campaign the debunked Maverick ran, the one consistency was that, if something could be screwed up, they certainly screwed it up.

This seemed harmless, enough, from the WaPo's 'The Sleuth', Mary Ann Akers;

Fire Sale on All McCain-Palin Campaign Equipment

That's right, the failed McCain-Palin campaign is having a fire sale this week on leftover equipment. Everything is on sale at reduced prices. An email sent over the weekend to all campaign staff, which was subsequently forwarded to the Sleuth, reads:

"Starting Monday December 8, 2008 the prices will be slashed to 36% of the original price for furniture, office supplies, blackberries, and many campaign computers. This is a great opportunity to own a piece of history, finish your Christmas shopping, or simply replace your old laptop."

Don't have any cash on you? No worries. An attached price sheet says, "We accept cash, checks, and credit cards."
Okay ... Dump some of the stuff, pick-up a few bucks, maybe, some folks could have gotten a good deal.

So, how did it go for the Stumblin' Fly Boy?

Campaign Blackberry Filled With McCain-Palin Info Sold To Reporter For $20 When we charged them up in the newsroom, we found one of the $20 Blackberry phones contained more than 50 phone numbers for people connected with the McCain-Palin campaign, as well as hundreds of emails from early September until a few days after election night.

We traced the Blackberry back to a staffer who worked for “Citizens for McCain,” a group of democrats who threw their support behind the Republican nominee. The emails contain an insider’s look at how grassroots operations work, full of scheduling questions and rallying cries for support.

But most of the numbers were private cell phones for campaign leaders, politicians, lobbyists and journalists.

We called some of the numbers.

“Somebody made a mistake,” one owner told us. “People’s numbers and addresses were supposed to be erased.”

“They should have wiped that stuff out,” another said. But he added, “Given the way the campaign was run, this is not a surprise.”

We called the McCain-Palin campaign, who says, “it was an unfortunate staff error and procedures are being put in place to ensure all information is secure.”


Even if he didn't blow it on the economy, or do the blindfolded "Pin-The-Tail-On-My-VP-Choice" of The Wasilla Whiz Kid, it still would be hard to imagine that he would ever get elected President.

Not for us, but for him;

Help Me Mr. Wizard!

Well ... Coming Close Only Counts In Horseshoes ...

It's that time of year, where various, and a multitude, of lists start popping up.

This one, though, happens to be quite good, and entertaining.

And, best of all, one of our IDOTW, Little Billy Kristol (or, "Krazy Kristol", as Michael Stickings likes to refer to him), top the top honors, as compiled by the publication (and website), Foreign Policy;

The 10 Worst Predictions for 2008

Prognostication is by far the riskiest form of punditry. The 10 commentators and leaders on this list learned that the hard way when their confident predictions about politics, war, the economy, and even the end of humanity itself completely missed the mark.
Along with Little Billy, CNBC’s Mad Money, the even madder, Jim Cramer, hack Right Wing Flying Monkey columnist Charles Krauthammer, and even Heistin' Hank Paulson made the list.

Go check out Foreign Policy's 'The 10 Worst Predictions for 2008'

This Date ... On The Garlic

13 December 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Mitchell Baseball Steroid Investigation Is Unlike CIA Torture Tapes Case

Garlic Coverage of Baseball Steroid Scandal

13 December 2006... On The Garlic

Retro Garlic - The Iraq Jar

13 December 2005... On The Garlic

Iraq Pulls Late Switch On Voters; Will Follow Red Sox And Have Two Presidents

Top Ten Cloves: What Saudi Prince Gets For Giving Harvard $20-Million

Friday, December 12, 2008

He's Even - Already - Screwing Up His Retirement!

Well, we already know, he's not too hip about using "The Google".

Additionally, it also goes to show what royal fuck-ups the The Bush Grindhouse is;

Developer for George W. Bush library Web site paid $35K to buy back domain name

But the squatters – a North Carolina Web development company called Illuminati Karate – had the last laugh, making a huge profit off an embarrassing oversight by the GOP-connected company charged with overseeing the Web site for the George W. Bush Presidential Library, which will be built in Dallas.

Illuminati Karate paid less than $10 for the www.George domain name – and sold it back for $35,000 to the library's contracted Web developers, Yuma Solutions, who had accidentally let it expire. Illuminati Karate recognized what the library obviously knew as well – that anything else, like www.GWBPresidentialLibrary .com, would have been cumbersome and less than ideal.

Was this website developer, Yuma Solutions, a friendly crony that got handed the job, or, did they go through the proper and standard Bush Grindhouse process, and receive it from a No-Bid Contract?

If they really want to have a on-line presence, a sure-hit, red-hot World Wide Web destination, way didn't they just go with what is obvious to nearly the entire world - WorstPresidentEver?

OOPS! ...

That one's already snagged as well.

If I were The Commander Guy, being that he has bankrupted the country, both financially, and, morally, I would take this domain screw-up as a sign, an omen.

I ain't meant to be.

Bonus Dubya Library Hijinks

The Raw Story: 'Illuminati' cybersquatters make killing over Bush library

Think Progress: Bush Legacy Watch: Is he the next MLK?

Karen Kwiatkowski: The George W. Bush Freedom Institute

AP: Methodist ministers launch PR campaign to stop Bush library

Think Progress: Bush Homeland Security Aide Caught On Tape Offering High-Level Access For Donations To Bush Library

Dorothy Samuels: The George W. Bush Library: Scholarly Mecca or $500 Million Oxymoron?

It's A Rummy World, After All ...

I suppose, we can update this now;

“You go to war with the torture program you have—not the torture program you might want or wish to have at a later time ..."
In, what will be likely, just another one, in a long line of "I'm shocked ... Shocked to find gambling going on here", a Senate Committee Report lays the torture of detainees on the desk of ol' Mister Snowflakes.

Bipartisan Report: Rumsfeld Responsible for Detainee Abuse; Senate Committee Finds Officials Made Decisions That Led to Offenses Against Prisoners
A bipartisan panel of senators has concluded that former defense secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and other top Bush administration officials bear direct responsibility for the harsh treatment of detainees at Guantanamo Bay, and that their decisions led to more serious abuses in Iraq and elsewhere.

In the most comprehensive critique by Congress of the military's interrogation practices, the Senate Armed Services Committee issued a report yesterday that accuses Rumsfeld and his deputies of being the authors and chief promoters of harsh interrogation policies that disgraced the nation and undermined U.S. security. The report, released by Sens. Carl M. Levin (D-Mich.) and John McCain (R-Ariz.), contends that Pentagon officials later tried to create a false impression that the policies were unrelated to acts of detainee abuse committed by members of the military.

"The abuse of detainees in U.S. custody cannot simply be attributed to the actions of 'a few bad apples' acting on their own," the report states. "The fact is that senior officials in the United States government solicited information on how to use aggressive techniques, redefined the law to create the appearance of their legality, and authorized their use against detainees."
Nice touch, using Rummy's own words to throw back in his face.

Can't you just see him, squinting, trying to understand this report, making one of his twisted faces, a real, harsh, "You don't know what you're talking about" distortion?

Likely, though Cheney's Weekend Armageddon partner saw this one coming.

That may be why, earlier this year, he called for a new U.S. Propaganda Agency.

Always The Thinker ... Gotta stay one step ahead of 'em...

Expect, in the coming days or weeks, for Rummy to make the grand Fixed News Network tour, touting up the failed policies, and defending his "enhanced interrogations".

They'll yuk it up, blame the report on some administration "dead enders" and shrug it off as "stuff happens".

Perhaps, at his future War Crimes Trial, stuff will happen, the prosecution using some "enhanced justice" against him.

How do ya like them apples, Rummy?

Bonus Rummy Riffs

Brilliant Juan Cole: Rumsfeld, Bush, Implicated in Torture by US Senate

Autumn Sandeen: It's Mostly Rumsfeld's Fault, Apparently

Brilliant at Breakfast: But after all, Jennifer Aniston posed naked and Oprah Winfrey is fat!

Jack Balkin: Armed Services Committee States Obvious: Detention Abuses Started at the Top

Garlic Exclusive! ... Rumsfeld Rolling On with Privatizing Forces ...Base Closings Tied To New U-Haul Self Storage Contract; Deal With National Vendors To Save Billions; Commissioned Officers Can Take Home Vehicles

“They’re coming here for the American experience” ...Rumsfeld Weighs In On Immigration Battle; Won’t Tie It To War With Iran; Suggests Army Recruiting Woes Could Be Solved With Mandatory Service By Illegal Aliens

Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense

Coffee Wars?

I sense a "Do you want fries with that Mocha Grande?" coming to a television commercial near you soon.

Or maybe, we''ll soon get the debut of Mickey D "Fryistas"

Starbucks won't slug it out in ad wars; Coffee chain says it'll take high road

McDonald's has erected a billboard in sight of Starbucks headquarters declaring, "four bucks is dumb."

If Dunkin' Donuts' taste test commercials were the schoolyard equivalent of blowing spitballs at the coffee giant from afar, then the latest from McDonald's is like pulling a wedgie. Starbucks employees driving northbound can see the billboard on their way into the city.

Another billboard slogan jabs, "large is the new grande." The two phrases are displayed on 140 billboards in Western Washington, some of them near Starbucks cafes.
Two gigantic icons.

Millions of dollars for Ad Agencies to hoover up.

I guess, we're supposed to, now be sure to look for your cue marks, dig down and make a dripping-heart, emotional investment, complete with a bunker-mentality as to Starbucks versus McDonalds.

This is about as suspenseful, and riveting, as the Invasion of Grenada.

Yeah, $4 for a cup of coffee is dumb, but so is pawning off fat-laden garbage as a "Happy Meal"

This Date ... On The Garlic

12 December 2007... On The Garlic

Retro Garlic ... We Told You So!

12 December 2006... On The Garlic

Chopped Garlic - An Obit Of Note - Georgia Gibbs

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Why Saudi Arabian Ambassador Suddenly Resigned His Post

12 December, 2005... On The Garlic

White House, GOP Deny Obama Charge; Call For "Intelligent Ownership" Alternatives

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Wikipedia Plans To Beef up Security for Entries

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Top Ten Cloves: Tricky Things About Attempting To Sell A Senate Seat

News Item: Obama: I Am ‘Appalled And Disappointed’ By Illinois Scandal, Blagojevich Needs To Resign

10. Try to move it quickly ... Just remember Andy Card's warning - "From a marketing point of view, you don't introduce a new Senate Seat in August."

9. Get it placed in a few movies, or television shows, and people will line up to buy it like Happy Soup!

8. Ticket brokers, but you have to be careful of the various states that have "Scalping" laws

7. Talk to Sarah Palin, cut her in, and maybe you can package it with the Bridge to Nowhere

6. Two Words - Time Share!

5. If you're willing to put "GoldenPalace.Com" on it, you could get millions!

4. You could get Billy Mays, however, it's a tougher sell if the seat doesn't mend something

3. eBay, but it probably would sell faster if it had an image of the Virgin Mary with it

2. Holy Cow! ... Too bad Phil Rizzuto died ... Think of the potential - "Hi, I'm Phil Rizzuto, from the Senate Seat Store"... You could have sold it like hotcakes!

1. SenateSeat! ... Apply directly to Rod Blagojevich! ... SenateSeat! ... Apply directly to Rod Blagojevich! ... SenateSeat! ... Apply directly to Rod Blagojevich! ...

Bonus Blago's Bazaar Riffs

Josh Marshall: Amazing

Robert Stein: Selling Obama's Senate Seat


Nate Silver: Appointed Senators Rarely Win Re-Election

Rex W. Huppke: Rod Blagojevich shows foulmouthed side ...Etiquette experts say such language still unprofessional

Prescott Carlson: Bla-lego-vich

This Date ... On The Garlic

11 December 2007... On The Garlic

Well, That Wasn't Much Of A Wait ...

Top Ten Cloves: Other Surprising Things White House Press Secretary Dana Perino Doesn't Know

11 December 2006... On The Garlic

Garlic Special - New Bush Theme Song - Nature Bush

Retro Garlic: Life Imitating The Garlic

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Libby's Hope

This must have given The Scooter a woody today.

Or, at least, it may have turned his aspen.

Bush Awards Presidential Citizen Medal To Watergate Crook Chuck Colson

Established in 1969, the Presidential Citizens Medal is the second highest honor for a civilian, recognizing Americans “who have performed exemplary deeds of service for the nation.” Past recipients include boxer Muhammad Ali, baseball great Henry “Hank” Aaron, civil rights icon Dorothy Height, and Defense Secretary Robert Gates.

Today, President Bush honored 24 recipients of this year’s award, including actor Gary Sinise and Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp. Also included in that mix was Chuck Colson, “the first member of the Nixon administration to serve prison time for Watergate-related offenses.” Colson was President Nixon’s counsel from 1969-1973 and pleaded guilty in 1974 to obstruction of justice. Colson received a one to three year sentence, but served just seven months.

Snip ...

On October 3, 2002, Colson was also one of the co-signers of a letter from prominent evangelical leaders supporting an invasion of Iraq. More recently he has spoken out in favor of California’s Prop. 8, accusing the LGBT community of “anti-religious bigotry.”
I mean, if The Commander Guy is going to go around duking the old Nixon cronies, it may very bode well for the convicted felon I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, and, perhaps, some of the other Bush Grindhouse cronies.

Christmas is just over two-weeks away ...

A pardon, or two, tucked under the tree?

Interestingly, the Grindhouse Press Office promulgated this info on Colson;
Charles W. Colson

For more than three decades, Chuck Colson has dedicated his life to sharing the message of God’s boundless love and mercy with prisoners, former prisoners, and their families. Through his strong faith and leadership, he has helped courageous men and women from around the world make successful transitions back into society. The United States honors Chuck Colson for his good heart and his compassionate efforts to renew a spirit of purpose in the lives of countless individuals.

Too bad they didn't use "The Google", or, they could have been a bit more descriptive;
Colson was known as President Nixon's hatchet man. Slate magazine writer David Plotz described Colson as "Richard Nixon's hard man, the 'evil genius' of an evil administration."[4] Colson has written that he was "valuable to the President ... because I was willing ... to be ruthless in getting things done".[5] This is perhaps complimentary when read in comparison to the descriptions of Colson which pepper the work of Rolling Stone National Affairs' Political Correspondent, Hunter S. Thompson during the period. Colson authored the 1971 memo listing Nixon's major political opponents, later known as Nixon's Enemies List. A quip that "Colson would walk over his own grandmother if necessary" mutated into claims in news stories that Colson had boasted that he would run over his own grandmother to re-elect Nixon.[5] Plotz reports that Colson sought to hire Teamsters thugs to beat up anti-war demonstrators.[4] John Dean maintains that Colson proposed firebombing the Brookings Institution and stealing politically damaging documents while firefighters put the fire out.[6][7]
Recognition delayed?

Bonus Riffs

David Plotz: Charles Colson - How a Watergate crook became America's greatest Christian conservative

Charles Colson - The Watergate Story

SourceWatch: Charles Colson

All I Want For Christmas Is My Presidential Pardon

Well, That Wasn't Much Of A Wait ...

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Only 10?

Gee, I would have thought it would be a score, or more.

We speak of the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) annual report of the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, who happen to represent us in the United States Congress.


8 Dec 2008 // Washington, D.C. – Today, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) released its 2008 Most Embarrassing Re-Elected Members of Congress report. The list incorporates those elected officials who have misused their position through illegal, unethical or just plain outrageous conduct.

Members are not ranked, but rather listed in alphabetical order. The top 10 list includes:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Rep. Vern Buchanan (R-FL)
Rep. Ken Calvert (R-CA)
Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA)
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Rep. Gary Miller (R-CA)
Rep. John Murtha (D-PA)
Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY)
Rep. Laura Richardson (D-CA)
Rep. Don Young (R-AK)

Go out to the CREW site, for the link to the pdf file, detailing the miscues, and such, including earmarks, tax evasion, home foreclosure.

And, we are happy to see our girl made the list.

Michele Bachmann, The Garlic's inaugural Ignorant Dolt of the Week.

This Date ... On The Garlic

10 December 2007... On The Garlic

All I Want For Christmas Is My Presidential Pardon

Romney Speech: Where's Leonard Pinth Garnell When You Really Need Him?

Along With Shooting Innocent Civilians, We've, Apparently, Outsourced Rape, As Well

10 December 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Retro Garlic: Anybody Check The Freezer For Any Loose Ballots?

Any Of These ISG Guys Happen To Have A Wife That Works Undercover At The CIA? ... The Results - The Garlic Week Poll

10 December 2005... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

A Safety Valve, Dressed In Jay Leno's Timeslot

Color me skeptical.

Most of the television talking heads today, were all ga-ga over the news that broke last evening, that Jay Leno was being retained by NBC and handed a 10:00PM, Prime-Time time slot, beginning next Fall.

Where Is Leno Going? To Prime Time, on NBC

The network will announce Tuesday that Mr. Leno’s new show will appear at 10 o’clock each weeknight in a format similar to “The Tonight Show,” which hehas hosted since 1993.

Five years ago NBC announced that it would hand the job of host of that franchise show to Conan O’Brien in May 2009. Since then the network has maneuvered to try to keep Mr. Leno, who continues to be the late-night ratings leader, fearing that he could leave and start a new late-night show on a competitor’s network. “The Tonight Show” is seen at 11:35 weeknights.
Most of the discussions that abounded on the tube today, payed lip service to Leno's "political humor", and droned on-and-on about how "smart" NBC was, in that producing the "Tonight Show Lite" at 10PM will be so, so much cheaper than developing an hour-long drama.
Though Mr. Leno will command an enormous salary, probably more than $30 million a year, the cost of his show will be a fraction of what a network pays for dramas at 10 p.m. Those average about $3 million an episode. That adds up to $15 million a week to fill the 10 p.m. hour. Mr. Leno’s show is expected to cost less than $2 million a week.

In addition, NBC will get more weeks of original programming. Network dramas typically make 22 to 24 episodes a year. Under this deal, the executives involved in the discussions said, Mr. Leno will perform 46 weeks a year.
Lip service was also paid to (even by Leno, himself, on with Olbermann this evening), on the changing viewing habits, how, overall, television programming is changing and evolving.

And, it was noted today, by Bill Carter, the NYT reporter, on MSNBC today, that Leno had a deal-in-hand with ABC, but couldn't act on it while still under contract with NBC.

Here's where you can pull out the crayons, and my skepticism kicks in.

Surely, saving millions and covering hours of program was a motivation for NBC.

And they will pull in viewers, initially, anyway, with the uniqueness of it.

But here's the unspoken reason NBC was so hot to do this deal;

They wanted Leno in-the-house, as a safety valve, should Conan O'Brien crash-and-burn with moving from his off-beat 12:30AM time slot, to the primo, 11:30 Tonight Show shrine.

Leno establishes the 10PM time slot, makes it workable, and, then, after some major ego pampering, and dancing-on-eggshells PR, Leno bumps back to the 11:30PM Tonight Show, to pull it out of the ratings (i.e. losing money) ashes.

Want precedent?

Go back to when Carson retired, and all the anguished hand wringing, whether to move Letterman from 12:30PM, to Carson's seat, or hand it over to the trusted, steady fill-in host, Leno.

They lost Letterman to CBS.

Fool me once, shame on you ...

This time, they're keeping Leno in-the-house, as a "just-in-case".

And don't think Conan O'Brien doesn't know it.

Jesus, he has Leno staring at him for an hour before he goes on.

Pressure? ... What pressure?

The Wide Stance Stands

Just in case you missed it, the "C'mon Down, Price Is Right Governor of Illinois" wasn't the only hot political news today.

Our toe-tapping, airport-bathroom-cruising, "I'm not gay" gay former Senator, Larry Craig cracked into the headlines.

Court denies Sen. Craig's effort to withdraw sex-sting plea

The Minnesota Court of Appeals on Tuesday rejected U.S. Sen. Larry Craig's effort to withdraw his guilty plea to a misdemeanor offense of disorderly conduct in connection with a sex-sting operation.

After the incident became public, he attempted to withdraw his plea, contending that his "wide stance" had been misinterpreted by the arresting officer and that he had pleaded guilty simply to get the matter over with.
Ohhhhhh, what a shame ...

However, if the original incident didn’t provide us with enough riches, his appeal managed to top them.

From Steve Benen;
In an especially entertaining development, it appears Craig's attorneys argued that the senator's foot tapping in the stall should be protected as free speech under the First Amendment. The court, believe it or not, did not find this persuasive: "[E]ven if appellant's foot-tapping and the movement of his foot towards the undercover officer's stall are considered 'speech,' they would be intrusive speech directed at a captive audience, and the government may prohibit them."
Ooooookay ...

That strikes a blow (no pun intended) for all the bathroom cruisers.

Your vocal-less pick-up attempts are not constitutionally protected.

But wait, as they say, there's more.

It seems that the I'm-Not-Gay-Gay-Senator Craig burned through the office petty cash draw.

From Jeralyn, at TalkLeft;
CNN notes the Senate Ethics Committee letter of admonition to Craig:

The committee also criticized Craig for using more than $200,000 from campaign funds to pay legal fees related to his case and for flashing his Senate business card at the officer who arrested him. The letter said that move could be seen as an improper attempt to receive "special and favorable treatment."
I believe, we will use our post This Is Just Too, Too Rich ... here, and just substitute the name "Larry Craig" for "Bill Clinton".

Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) Chastises Bill ...

To help you refresh your memory of this case, from earlier, on The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Admitting You Have A Wide Stance

Breaking News! Another Bombshell - Craig To Enter Rehab; Cites Suffering From 'Restroom Leg Syndrome'

If You're A Disneyland Freak, Here's The Nuts-and-Bolts

As regular readers of The Garlic well know, we delve into, and, at times, have some fun with Obituaries.

Some just beg to be painted with satire, others, well, there's something about them, perhaps being impressive, and that they deserve some extra recognition.

We have the latter tonight, something we espied in today.

Cassidy: Silicon Valley innovator left legacy of fun and thrills

Karl Bacon was a quiet guy who never wanted much of a fuss. So when he died last month at 98, he almost slipped away from us without being noticed.
That first paragraph, and the next few that followed, wasn't making things any clearer.

Until we hit here;
In 1946, Bacon and partner Ed Morgan opened the Arrow Development Co. in Mountain View. The two were a tight team who started out doing some machine work for HP and just about anything else that would bring cash through the door. Bacon was the math mind, a self-taught engineer who tended to figure out what needed to be made while Morgan concentrated on how to manufacture it.

Then Morgan got the idea that they could build a merry-go-round for the city of San Jose, which they did. Soon a man named Walt Disney was talking to them about coming up with some rides for a new park he was opening in Anaheim. They did that, too.

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Mad Tea Party, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, It's a Small World, Alice in Wonderland, Matterhorn Bobsleds, Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion and more.

"They did most of the rides in Fantasyland," says Jane Bacon, 87, Karl's wife of 67 years. "They really didn't know what they were getting into."

She was speaking specifically of the flying Dumbos, which had a way of leaking hydraulic fluid in the early days, but she could have been talking about Bacon and Morgan's career in general. Because in the end what the two did was nothing less than revolutionize the amusement park business.
Not too shabby.

Pretty good to know, that your life's work touched millions, upon millions, primarily, in a very positive manner (even for those young ones that got the bejeeves scared out of them, or vomited, only to laugh about it as grown-ups, when their siblings dredged it up at some family gathering).

Some Other Garlic Obits

Heston Dead; Coroner Can't Pry Gun From Cold Dead Hands

Don Nottebart ... Now, This Is An Obit With Some Ooomph!

Swedish Film Icon Ingmar Bergman Dead at 89 ; Police Depressed, Working Through Emptiness, Not Ruling Out Foul Play

Obit - Avis Founder Pulls Off The Road at 92

2008 Weblog Award Update

We have some news, as to the 2008 Weblog Awards, in which The Garlic is in the running for 'Best Humor Blog'.

First, and foremost, many, many thanks to those of you who took the time (a mere few seconds) to throw a vote our way.

Unofficially, it would appear that The Garlic has made it into the Finals, pulling in enough votes to catapult from 5th place, into 2nd place, during the final weekend of voting.

The Weblog folks have their hands full, sifting through "a record number of nominations, nearly 5,000" and they have laid out the schedule for the final voting.

Finalist Announced - December 25

Finalist Logos Available - December 25

Finalist Voting Page Available* - December 29

Finalist Voting - January 2 through January 10

So, you can give your "mouse-clicking" finger a rest, and we certainly will alert you as to when you can, hopefully, vote once again for The Garlic.

Once again, thanks to all who voted for the nomination.

The 2008 Weblog Awards

This Date ... On The Garlic

9 December 2007... On The Garlic

Good Post Alert: Edward Copeland's "Is Dubya the Iranian Candidate?"

Editor's Note: Still Making Our Way To That Light At The End of The Tunnel

9 December 2005... On The Garlic

With Rumsfeld Saying He's Staying, Appointment May Hinge On Cheney Indictment For Last Political Hooray; DNC, Dean, Gore Livid: Must Fill VP Position Retroactively Or Face Default On Top Of Loss

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Chris Rock Won't Be Hosting The Oscars This Year

Monday, December 08, 2008

Stop The Bailouts! ... Nicole Wallace Has Something Much Better!

Nicolle Wallace served as a senior advisor to the McCain-Palin campaign from May 2008-November 2008. Prior to joining the McCain campaign, she worked as a political analyst at CBS News. She served President George W. Bush as an assistant to the president and director of communications for the White House from January 2005 - June 2006, as communications director for President Bush's 2004 re-election campaign and as special assistant to the president and director of media affairs at the White House.
With a rap sheet like that, you might expect to find it on The Smoking Gun.

But no, Tina Brown's new toy is the forum.
I know that things are very bad for a lot of Americans this holiday season, so I hope people will forgive me for my good cheer. Perhaps it’s all the hope and change in the air these days, or maybe it’s just my defeat-induced life of unemployed leisure, but I have been filled with a warm and fuzzy feeling. First, there was John McCain’s exquisite concession speech.

Quickly, somebody tell The Congress to cancel those bailout checks!

All we have to do, for those who are unemployed, or being foreclosed on, is to give them "some warm, fuzzy unemployed leisure" and a copy of John McKKKain's "exquisite concession speech".

They'll be thrilled, swept away with indescribable bliss.

Anything but a "gracious" concession speech would have been ... Well ... Pretty much in character of the campaign Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny, and the Wasilla Whiz Kid ran.

The monster, landslide ass-kickin' Obama dished out Election Night left the debunked Maverick with no options.

All the networks were biting on the bit, as the clock ticked slowly towards 9:00PM (EST), so they could cue the music and declare the projections of the historic Obama victory.

It wasn't close ... At all.
The speech sent a powerful signal around the world about the strength of our democracy. It also opened the door for the McCains to return, unscathed, to their previous lives of impressive service—Cindy McCain as an advocate for international aid and relief efforts and John McCain as a powerful, pragmatic senator known, liked, and respected by a sizable swath of Democrats, Republicans, the media, and world leaders.


Jesus, was Wallace holding a box of donuts with one hand, typing with the other?

She goes on to wave her "Gracious" wand over McKKKain's Mini-Me, the Obama staff and, finally, we get to the point where we see she's signed up for passage on the S.S. Bush Legacy Restoration Barge, waxing on how The Commander Guy is a baller, as he begins his "can't-come-fast-enough" exit from The Bush Grindhouse.
But some of the most heartwarming stories I’ve heard this holiday season are the ones that have leaked out of both the East and West wings of the White House about George and Laura Bush, two people whose grace has gone under-reported and unappreciated for too long.
That ought to get her a personal, handwritten note on her Christmas card from the Turd Blossom.
The Bushes have invited former staffers back to the White House this holiday season for one last visit to the place we called home for 70-hour work weeks. I will cherish one last stroll through the grand rooms, one last photo by the Christmas tree, one last look at the East Room as it sparkles with holiday lights and decorations, and one last opportunity to bask in the glow of their grace.
The Daily Beast, where this pap appeared should have provided barf bags, or, at least, a warning to readers, that a two-time hack, completely delusional, would be fouling the pages with her "warm, fuzzy unemployed leisure".

Hey, wait a minute ...

Here's an idea!

Why don't we get a good chunk of those 500,000+ recently unemployed citizens, mix in some of the thousands who have been thrown out there homes, bring in a few bus loads of Iraq veterans, wounded, maybe without much help from the VA, and we shouldn't forget some of the good folks from New Orleans, still displaced, still without a home, and let them stroll through the grand rooms, and take in all the sparkling holiday lights and decorations - and give them a copy of John McKKKain's "exquisite concession speech".

Now, taking our cue from Nicole Wallace, if that wouldn't be one, rootin'-tootin', god-damn, buckets-of-tears, holiday joy, I just don't know what else would capture the spirit of the season, with so much of that "good cheer" Nicole Wallace is so full of.

All The Bricks Fit To Leverage

They might as well do it.

That being, in the weeks, to months, ahead, we may see a row of newspaper publishers sitting in front of a Congressional committee, hat-in-hand, asking for a bailout.

Presumably, they will have read their own papers in making their travel arrangements to the Capital, eschewing winging in on any private, corporate jets they may happen to own.

While rumors swirled this morning, about another, the New York Times announced that they would be mortgaging their crib to rake in some much-need operating cash.

Times Co. to Borrow Against Building

The Times Company owns 58 percent of the 52-story, 1.5 million-square-foot tower on Eighth Avenue, which was designed by the architect Renzo Piano, and completed last year. The developer Forest City Ratner owns the rest of the building. The Times Company’s portion of the building is not currently mortgaged, and some investors have complained that the company has too much of its capital tied up in that real estate.

The company has two revolving lines of credit, each with a ceiling of $400 million, roughly the amount outstanding on the two combined. One of those lines is set to expire in May, and finding a replacement would be difficult given the economic climate and the company’s worsening finances. Analysts have said for months that selling or borrowing against assets would be the company’s best option for averting a cash flow problem next year.
Then, this afternoon, the other shoe dropped;

Tribune Co. files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection

The Tribune Company, owns, among other things, The Chicago Tribune, The Los Angeles Times, KTLA Channel 5, numerous other daily papers and the Chicago Cubs (which will not be part of the bankruptcy filing).

While the Tribune's troubles may have as much to do with their owner, real estate magnet Sam Zell, who loaded the company with debt, as much as it does with the growing trend of the state of the dying newspaper business.
But they parallel troubles afflicting many other newspaper and broadcasting companies nationwide: In recent weeks, the McClatchy newspaper chain put its Miami Herald up for sale, the Christian Science Monitor said it would abandon daily print publication in favor of Web operation, the Philadelphia Inquirer and Minneapolis Star-Tribune have flirted with or entered default, and the New York Times said it would mortgage its headquarters skyscraper in midtown Manhattan to help cover operating costs.

Robert Stein, over on Connecting.The.Dots, looked at the troubles through the prism of media and knowledge, versus big business;

"If I had to choose," Thomas Jefferson famously said, "between government without newspapers, and newspapers without government, I wouldn't hesitate to choose the latter."
Some bloggers who hate the MSM will no doubt show little more sympathy for newspaper makers than the most of the public does for the car industry. Yet their downfall threatens us all in an age when we are awash in tip-of-the-iceberg news, while fewer and fewer journalists are helping us see what's going on under the surface.

As we are threatened with drowning in repetitious cable TV and online headline-chasing and opinionizing, we learn less and less about hard news that might help us with the informed consent that Jefferson wanted us to have and depend more and more on the government he did not trust in its absence,

As far back as 1922, in "Public Opinion," Walter Lippmann pointed out that "the citizen will pay for his telephone, his railroad rides, his motor car, his entertainment. But he does not pay openly for his news,"

Hitting the delete button, or copy-and-pasting just doesn't have the same, gritty feel.

We may soon hear the dirty, ink-stained, fading, echoing sound of "Get me rewrite!", before too long, for the last time.

The greatest classic dialogues: "His girl Friday" (1940)

Bonus "Get Me Rewrite" Riffs

Henry Blodget: Tribune (Almost) Toast, New York Times Next?*

Barbara Kiviat: How badly did Sam Zell stick it to Tribune Co. employees?

Deb Cupples: Tribune Company Actually Has Filed for Bankruptcy Protection

Editor & Publisher: UPDATED: Black Monday -- Tribune Co. Files for Bankruptcy

Greed Has A Name ...

Boy, I think it's time he turns in his super secret "Industry Titan" decoder ring, the footed pajamas, with his name, and "Industry Titan" under it, on them, and, he gets kicked out of the treehouse.

Merrill Chief Wants $10-Million Bonus For Presiding Over $11-Billion Loss

Merrill Lynch chief John Thain wants a bonus of as much as $10 million, reports (sub. req.) the Wall Street Journal.

Merrill's compensation committee is, not surprisingly, said to be objecting, pointing out among other things that, due to the dire economic situation, other firms like Goldman Sachs -- which did better than Merrill -- are forgoing bonuses this year.

Merrill has lost almost $12 billion this year, and is about to be taken over by Bank of America. Its shares have fallen from $50 when Thain took over late last year to $13.04 at close of trading Friday.
The Journal notes some evidence in Thain's favor:
Mr. Thain's decision to sell Merrill likely salvaged billions of dollars for shareholders and saved a huge number of jobs at the firm, even though thousands of positions will be eliminated following the takeover.

Mr. Thain's quick moves won him respect on Wall Street, especially in contrast to top executives at Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and Bear Stearns.
Please ...

Isn't that like patting an arsonist on the back, for putting out the fire?

Andrew Sullivan assigns him to the "Dept. of Cojones".

We may have to assign him to our IDOTW.

I suppose, to be fair, Thain needs the heavy-duty cash, so he can fly, in his private corporate jet, to the next AIG Spa Getaway

This Date ... On The Garlic

8 December 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The National Christmas Tree Lighting

8 December 2005... On The Garlic

Bush Team Miffed 'Podcast" Wins Word-Of-Year; Cites Media Lockout of Good News

Top Ten Cloves: Things Worse Than Ann Coulter Being Unable To Finish Her Speech At College

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Our Ignorant Dolt of the Week ... Rick Warren!

As usual, we had a few different candidates this past week, doing their darnedest, vying, yearning, longing, to be named The Garlic's Ignorant Dolt of the Week.

Take the Turd Blossom, for instance.

Along with attempting to pass of the rotted, fetid eight-years of the Bush Grindhouse as freshly-caught fish, he's planning on writing a book and "naming all the Bush haters".

Here's a tip, Son-of-the-Golden Cock Ring, it might be easier just to ask people to raise their hands, of those who can, at minimum, stomach The Commander Guy.

And his old, Rovian ways are working on at least one person.

Chris Wallace, of Faux News.

Wallace bought passage on the S.S. Bush Legacy Restoration Barge, dropping to his knees for the Grindhouse.

From Think Progress;

Last Monday, at a screening of Ron Howard’s new film “Frost/Nixon,” Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace vociferously defended President Bush against criticism by Howard that Bush has abused the office of the presidency in a way similar to President Richard Nixon. “Richard Nixon’s crimes were committed purely in the interest of his own political gain,” said Wallace. Wallace claimed that it was a “gross misreading of history” to say that Bush abused his power “for pure political self preservation” like Nixon did.
You whore yourself like that Chris, just for a "special exit interview" with Darth Vader?

Like that's going to be some earth-shattering, breaking news?

Did you miss the Little Scooter's trial?

Cheney must be sizing you up to take Little Timmy Russert's place, to feed his propaganda to, without the worry of any kind of push back.

All fine efforts, but the IDOTW has to go to the Purpose-Driven-Carny, Rick Warren.

I guess, since hustling the networks into doing an infomercial, for his "Blazing Saddleback" event during the campaign, complete with the mysterious, magical, "Cone of Silence", has him, boldly grabbing the baton from that other television preacher/God's Ninja, Pat Robertson, and issuing off death warrants for our enemies.


Pastor Rick Warren has a reputation for being far more stable and grounded than religious right leaders and TV preachers like Pat Robertson, but it's worth remembering that he's not exactly a moderate.

Last night, on Fox News, Sean Hannity insisted that United States needs to "take out" Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Warren said he agreed. Hannity asked, "Am I advocating something dark, evil or something righteous?" Warren responded, "Well, actually, the Bible says that evil cannot be negotiated with. It has to just be stopped.... In fact, that is the legitimate role of government. The Bible says that God puts government on earth to punish evildoers. Not good-doers. Evildoers."
Well, I guess, if it's a Purpose-Driven political assassination, than it's cool with the Big Guy, Upstairs.

Here's the transcript of the exchange, from The Wonk Room;
HANNITY: Can you talk to rogue dictators? Ahmadinejad denies the Holocaust, wants to wipe Israel off the map, is seeking nuclear weapons.


HANNITY: I think we need to take him out.


HANNITY: Am I advocating something dark, evil or something righteous?

WARREN: Well, actually, the Bible says that evil cannot be negotiated with. It has to just be stopped. And I believe…

HANNITY: By force?

WARREN: Well, if necessary. In fact, that is the legitimate role of government. The Bible says that God puts government on earth to punish evildoers. Not good-doers. Evildoers.

HANNITY: I’m just gotten, thanks to my wife, who you know, you know, been reading the Old Testament. Because as a good Catholic growing up, I studied more the New Testament.

WARREN: Just ignored that part.

HANNITY: I ignored the Old Testament. But what about King David? What about the — all the battles, all the conflict, you know, going back - - you know, Abraham — Adam and Eve and their children, going forward?

WARREN: The point is, there are some things worth dying for. There’s no doubt about that. And I would die for my family. I would die for my freedom. I would die for this country.

HANNITY: If somebody broke into your house, you would be justified to kill them?

WARREN: I would be justified to protect my family. Absolutely.

HANNITY: And if it took killing them?

WARREN: Absolutely.

HANNITY: But it’s not murder at that point?

WARREN: No. Murder is not self-defense.

Perhaps, Warren can plead insanity, since he was in discussion with The Royal Nitwit, Hannity, but I think its something more than that.

With the transition of power, from The Bush Grindhouse, to Obama, there must be some rumblings amongst the Bible Thumpers.

Who's going to lead the eyes-closed rabble of the Republican Far Right through these next four-years of darkness.

You can't just talk about doing good deeds, doing the Lords work.

No, you have to define, interpret the Lords work, mix in a little blood and guts, do a little Jimmy Cagney and talk about mowing down all those dirty rats.

Sorry, but attempting to consecrate the Bush Doctrine into a modern day Holy Grail, that takes a lot more moxie than just huckstering the networks, and trying to sell yourself as one of the good Bible Thumpers.

Nosireebob! ... That only gets the purpose-and-killing-driven Rick Warren the crown of our Ignorant Dolt of the Week

Bonus Purpose-Driven IDOTW Riffs

Melissa McEwan: Quote of the Day

Spencer Ackerman: Religious Wars, There’s No Reason Why They Sent You To Die

Think Progress - Warren: Bush’s ‘Peace Award Was Not About Peace’

Thomas Schaller: The attention-driven Warren, Book III

The Raw Story - Ron Howard: Jon Stewart should do Bush exit interview

The Gawker: Chris Wallace Defends Bush Against Mean Ron Howard

Robertson May Have, Inadvertently, Caused Hajj Stampede Deaths ...Was Working On New Material For Bush Video Blitz, Testing New Curses and Condemnations

Breaking News! Robertson Held For Questioning In Falwell Death; Threats Against Chavez, Sharon Make 700 Club Founder 'Person of Interest'