Libby Lover Lands New Gig To Protest His Innocence

What is CNN doing, recomposing The Bush Grindhouse, or, a Reader's Digest-version of the White House Iraq Group (you remember, Andy Card's in-house ad agency charged with selling the lies to invade and occupy Iraq).

And, HER, of all people.



Among other atrocities, the chief fundraiser/letter-writer for the Scooter Libby Defense Fund.

Mary Matalin signs on as CNN contributor

Republican strategist Mary Matalin has signed on to serve as a CNN political contributor, the network announced Thursday.

[snip]

"As one of the best-known and best-connected strategists in the country, Mary will join our line up of top Republican analysts including Bill Bennett, Alex Castellanos, and Ed Rollins," said Sam Feist, CNN political director and vice president of Washington programming. "We are thrilled that CNN viewers will be able to tap into Mary's vast political experience advising candidates and presidents from both inside and outside of the White House."

Matalin, a veteran political commentator, served as a senior White House advisor to both President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. She was a key strategist in President George H.W. Bush's 1988 campaign, and was appointed chief of staff for the Republican National Committee after his successful bid. She was also a key strategist in the 1992, 2000 and 2004 Republican presidential campaigns.

Nearly a year ago, John Mashek, in U.S. News and World Report, called Matalin "worst of the new breed of political consultants";

Matalin learned her politics from the late Lee Atwater, a gunslinger from South Carolina. In this cycle, Matalin signed on first with the presidential quest of then Sen. George Allen of Virginia before Allen imploded in his 2006 Senate race. She then moved over to former Sen. Fred Thompson of Tennessee, who was an early dropout.

This is the same Matalin who was a close adviser to Vice President Cheney in the controversial run-up to the war in Iraq and its disastrous aftermath.

I mean, Jesus, they almost have enough PartyofNoicans to filibuster Obama.

Something Steve Benen also bemoans;

Matalin not only joins the growing list of Republican analysts on CNN's political team (joining Bill Bennett, Alex Castellanos, and Ed Rollins), she's also the latest former staffer in the Bush White House to make the transition to jobs with major media outlets.

It's hard to keep up with them all. Michael Gerson (Washington Post), Sara Taylor (MSNBC), Tony Snow (CNN), Frances Fragos Townsend (CNN), Nicole Wallace (CBS News), Dan Bartlett (CBS News), Jeff Ballabon (CBS News), Tony Fratto (CNBC) and, of course, Karl Rove (Fox News, Newsweek, and Wall Street Journal) have all gone from working for Bush/Cheney to working for the mainstream media.

It was just last Fall, just before the election, that CNN added the #1 Cheney Fluffer to their ranks, Stephen Hayes.

I wonder, if she helps John King with his questions, will he let her play with his Magic Board.

The thing to watch is how often she brings up how completely innocent Scooter Libby was, working him into storylines, and her convoluted answers, of ignoring reality and pumping up the Bush Grindhouse.

One thing, for "the best political team on television" to make this a bit more easier to swallow, if that is, at all, possible.

Use their arsenal of High Tech Hijinks to do something with THAT VOICE of hers.

At least coach her to speak using her mouth, instead of her nose.

Or hire Fran Drescher, to balance it out.

Libby's Hope

This must have given The Scooter a woody today.

Or, at least, it may have turned his aspen.

Bush Awards Presidential Citizen Medal To Watergate Crook Chuck Colson

Established in 1969, the Presidential Citizens Medal is the second highest honor for a civilian, recognizing Americans “who have performed exemplary deeds of service for the nation.” Past recipients include boxer Muhammad Ali, baseball great Henry “Hank” Aaron, civil rights icon Dorothy Height, and Defense Secretary Robert Gates.

Today, President Bush honored 24 recipients of this year’s award, including actor Gary Sinise and Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp. Also included in that mix was Chuck Colson, “the first member of the Nixon administration to serve prison time for Watergate-related offenses.” Colson was President Nixon’s counsel from 1969-1973 and pleaded guilty in 1974 to obstruction of justice. Colson received a one to three year sentence, but served just seven months.

Snip ...

On October 3, 2002, Colson was also one of the co-signers of a letter from prominent evangelical leaders supporting an invasion of Iraq. More recently he has spoken out in favor of California’s Prop. 8, accusing the LGBT community of “anti-religious bigotry.”

I mean, if The Commander Guy is going to go around duking the old Nixon cronies, it may very bode well for the convicted felon I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, and, perhaps, some of the other Bush Grindhouse cronies.

Christmas is just over two-weeks away ...

A pardon, or two, tucked under the tree?

Interestingly, the Grindhouse Press Office promulgated this info on Colson;

Charles W. Colson

For more than three decades, Chuck Colson has dedicated his life to sharing the message of God’s boundless love and mercy with prisoners, former prisoners, and their families. Through his strong faith and leadership, he has helped courageous men and women from around the world make successful transitions back into society. The United States honors Chuck Colson for his good heart and his compassionate efforts to renew a spirit of purpose in the lives of countless individuals.

Too bad they didn't use "The Google", or, they could have been a bit more descriptive;

Colson was known as President Nixon's hatchet man. Slate magazine writer David Plotz described Colson as "Richard Nixon's hard man, the 'evil genius' of an evil administration."[4] Colson has written that he was "valuable to the President ... because I was willing ... to be ruthless in getting things done".[5] This is perhaps complimentary when read in comparison to the descriptions of Colson which pepper the work of Rolling Stone National Affairs' Political Correspondent, Hunter S. Thompson during the period. Colson authored the 1971 memo listing Nixon's major political opponents, later known as Nixon's Enemies List. A quip that "Colson would walk over his own grandmother if necessary" mutated into claims in news stories that Colson had boasted that he would run over his own grandmother to re-elect Nixon.[5] Plotz reports that Colson sought to hire Teamsters thugs to beat up anti-war demonstrators.[4] John Dean maintains that Colson proposed firebombing the Brookings Institution and stealing politically damaging documents while firefighters put the fire out.[6][7]

Recognition delayed?


Bonus Riffs

David Plotz: Charles Colson - How a Watergate crook became America's greatest Christian conservative

Charles Colson - The Watergate Story

SourceWatch: Charles Colson

All I Want For Christmas Is My Presidential Pardon

Well, That Wasn't Much Of A Wait ...

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Retro Garlic: As The Aspen Turns ... Judy Miller Goes To Fox!

I would venture to predict, the folks over at Faux News are not going to press Judy Miller for her sources.

In fact, I speculate, they would prefer that she didn't have sources, and adopt the company policy of just making shit up

Jeralyn, over at TalkLeft gets the nod for the most humorously, ironic headline;

Ex-NYTimes Reporter Judith Miller to Join Fox as Free Speech Expert

And, just for you wise guys out there, she is not, repeat, she is not joining the Fox production of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?".

I guess, they don't want to put too much pressure on her in the beginning.

From Joe Strupp, over at Editor and Publisher;

Miller, who left the paper in 2005 after 28 years, spoke as word spread of her latest new job, as a commentator for Fox News. Miller said she will be on air and on the Web site part-time discussing First Amendment and free speech issues, as well as foreign policy and national security.

"I get to spout my views, I will NOT be joining the news team," she stressed. "I care about First Amendment issues and free speech and I will talk about that and foreign policy if and when we ever stop talking about the economy, which is going to be going on for a while."

Since The Scooter got his "Get Out of Jail Card" last year, can we breathlessly wait for a possible pairing?

Yeah, right ...

It will be programmed, set in the schedule to follow on the audience of that other new show, "Domestic Policy, with Joe the Plumber".

The Retro Part;

Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.


Bonus Judy Miller Kisses

Libby Trial Update - It's Miller Time!

Woodward Said To Be Jumping To The New York Times

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Scooter Libby Gave Judith Miller Okay To Reveal Source and Testify

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard In Bush Grindhouse, Over Scott McClellan's New Book

News Item: Former White House spokesman: Bush used 'propaganda' to sell war

10. Mr. President? ... It's the rocking-chair company... They want to know the new name you want on the other chair

9. Was Scott the one that gave Jeff Gannon the White House Press Passes?

8. Anyone check it see if he's an illegal immigrant?

7. No Dana, of course it's different... We've always kept you in the loop ...

6. No, Mr. President ... Yes, it is a book, but we wouldn't call it Ek-A-Lec-Tic

5. Mr. McClellan, this is the Vice President's office calling ... The Vice President would like to know if you are free this coming weekend, to join the Vice President on a hunting trip

4. We don't want this one coming back on us ... Check all the records for the President saying "Heck of a job, Scottie"

3. Any word back from the Minneapolis Airport? ... Did you tell them to look at all the security camera footage, for McClellan going into the Mens Room?

2. Anyone call Fox yet?... Tell them we want, two, maybe three-weeks of hit jobs

1. Worry about the media? ... They'll eat up our Iran bullshit like happy soup - Just like they swallowed the Iraq stuff


Bonus Beam Me Up Scottie Links

Trex: When Good Droids Get Mad, Go Bad, and Get Even

Scarecrow: McClellan Throws Bush, Cheney, Condi, Rove, Libby, . . . Under Bus

Barry Crimmins: A Dim, Shiny Liar

emptywheel: George Bush Authorized the Leak of Valerie Wilson’s Identity

Phoenix Woman: Complicit Enablers

Will Bunch's Attytood: UPDATED: We need an investigative reporter to investigate the reporters

"So Long Scooter, We're Through With You ..."

To steal from ''Yankee Doodle Dandy' for a moment ...

"So long Scooter, we're through with you ...We'll have nothing to do with you ..."

No, I. Lewis "Scooter:" Libby isn't a jockey who was accused of throwing the English Derby, he was a member of the Bush Grindhouse, Vice President Death Vader's Chief of Staff who assisted outing a covert CIA Agent Valarie Plame, for the purpose of political retribution, lied about it, covered it up and was convicted of Perjury and Obstruction of Justice

(However, one of his accomplices, The Commander Guy, commuted his sentence, before Little Scooter had to really worry about if he would get see the aspens turning again)

Karma came a'vistin' to Scooter Libby today;

Former Cheney Aide Libby Disbarred

"When a member of the Bar is convicted of an offense involving moral turpitude, disbarment is mandatory," the three judges wrote in their order. "This court has held that obstruction of justice and perjury are crimes of moral turpitude. Since respondent was convicted of each of these offenses, as the Board concluded, disbarment is mandatory under D.C. Code.

Jane Hamsher, from Firedoglake, has a pretty good idea;

Kind of seems like some old time military "cashiering ceremony" is in order with a formal parade, where they call the miscreant out and break his sword and force him to leave.

I guess we'll have to settle for future disbarring in New York. Sets a nice precedent.

Hmmm... Can we expect a blizzard of new letters from the pen of Mary Matalin? Will she be seeking "Disbarment Funds" for the Scooter? Maybe Fred Thompson can chip in, write a few notes when Matalin cramps up, or make a few calls.

I wanted to link to the website - ScooterLibby.Com- but, apparently, they've taken it down and, rather ironically, the first Ad listing on the former link is for "Mini Power Scooters" (you can go here to see a partial listing of what was on it)

Oh, how the petty and twisted fall ...

Then again, it's a little more than eight-months to wait for the Christmas Pardon List


It's Another Scooterpalooza

Sidney Blumenthal: Libby and the White House book club - While Cheney's former aide prays for a presidential pardon, Bush and Rove hold forth in their neocon salon, and the cover-up continues

Breaking News! Domestic Spying Injected Into Libby Trial - Trial In Chaos; Justice Dept. Gave Libby Lawyers Prospective Jurors Personal Info; Fitzgerald Livid As Emails, NSA Wiretaps, Financial Records Found In Defense Lawyers' Briefcase

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Tim Russert Didn't Ask Scooter Libby About Joe Wilson and His Wife

Breaking News - White House Bombshell: "VP Could Be In His Last Throes" - Libby Verdict Has Bush, White House Urging Cheney Into Rehab; Sources Claim 'Can't Be Trusted He Won't Break"; Iraq Comments "Last Straw" and "Were Not An Enormous Success"

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Breaking News! - Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

UPDATE

Thanks to eagle eyes (and/or trusty links) of ZappoDave, the Libby Defense Fund website it still running!

Larisa Alexandrovna: Scooter disbarred...

Blue Girl: More good news!

Top Most Read/Popular Garlic Posts of 2007

Just catching up on some housekeeping business with this post today.

After the week we had here at The Garlic, we are late with our annual offering, our lazy attempt at a "year-in-review" kind of thing ... Rather than toil for days, piecing together a cleverly-laid-out narrative, tying in all the major (and minor) happenings, with a pithy edge, and esoteric cultural references, we throw on the leisure suit and sneakers via, what else, a list of links!

Monitored by the esteemed firm of Dewey, Cheethem and Howe, we cull from our site traffic, RSS Feeder traffic, links, rumors, WOM, random phone calls and emails, and a guy named "Randy" from Baltimore, to come up with the most popular offerings on The Garlic this past year.

So, have at it, and if you see something you like, spread it around ...

Top Most Read/Popular Garlic Posts of 2007

Honorable Mentions
(Or, an official-sounding way to squeeze in three additional posts)

Breaking News! Hagel Speech Causes Havoc; Payless Shoes Flooded With Job Seekers, Resumes; Applicants Looking For " The Safe Jobs Senator Hagel Talked About"; Tancredo Offers Threats

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Problems With Suing God

Wag The FEMA


10: "What If Spartacus Had To Account For 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols ..."

9: Bill O'Reilly Exclusive! Black People Go To Restaurants ... And They Eat!

8: Breaking News! Another Bombshell - Craig To Enter Rehab; Cites Suffering From 'Restroom Leg Syndrome'

7: Where's Ernest Borgnine when you need him?

6: "They will have flies walking across their eyeballs"

5: Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

4: Vatican Discounts "Bonfire Pope"; Says Flames "Not Hunched Over Enough"; Late Pontiff's Bend Was Measured "Religiously"; Never Used Contingency "Roller Skate Gloves"

3: Jeff Gannon Speaks! ... To The Garlic!

2: The Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School; Or: Shopping For A Legacy on Cyber Monday

(Much to our pleasant surprise, the Condi piece got picked up by Reuters)

1: Swedish Film Icon Ingmar Bergman Dead at 89 ; Police Depressed, Working Through Emptiness, Not Ruling Out Foul Play

Retro Garlic ... We Told You So!

Well, things have been moving along this week like an Alberta Clipper.

'Tis the season, and in our world that means a bevy of Bush Grindhouse scandals (and if you are having a hard time keeping track of them all, Keith Olbermann has started a new feature - Bushed - on his 'Countdown' program ).

And today, we have the opportunity to go Retro Garlic, and a short Retro it is.

With a prolonged drumroll earlier this week, breath was held to see if I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby would be on the list for a Presidential Pardon, being he - hint, hint - announced he was dropping the appeal of his trial, and would ride as a convicted felon, until ...

This had many-a-pundit, as well as a good chunk of the blogosphere, salivating that the Bush Grindhouse's brick wall would come down, and The Commander Guy would have to comment on the treasonous scandal his staff engaged in - the exposure of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame.

Alas, it didn't come.

Ahh, but The Garlic held on to its' skin, kept our powder dry, not seeing this as a condition the Bush Grindhouse would break its' pattern of lying, stonewalling, and obfuscation.

From The Garlic, on Monday;

"And, for all of you waiting to hear The Scooter, or The Bush Grindhouse, spill their guts, now that the appeal process is over, think again.

There's still the matter of Valerie Plame's possible lawsuit and, no doubt, they will continue to clam-up, citing that "litigation", if the Wilson's can revive their case, after it was thrown out last summer."

From Think Progress today;

What did Perino say in the gaggle? The Washington Post reports Perino found another convenient excuse to punt on answering about the White House’s involvement in the Plame leak. Perino said that she hadn’t spoken to Bush yet, but she cited the Wilson’s ongoing civil case as a reason not to comment:

I did talk to our counsel’s office because I forgot that there is a civil case that is pending on this issue. I did forget. The Wilsons have filed a case in civil court, it was dismissed, and they are on appeal."

And, even if the Wilson's announce they are dropping their appeal, the Bush Grindhouse will mow through legal cases, as many as they have to (and don't rule out the Hauptmann Case) to find something they can hid behind and stay silent.

That means, it's time to Cue up Que Sera Sera...

Links

Al Karmen: Being There

The Democratic Party: White House Still Won't Answer Libby Questions

Think Progress: White House Offers Convenient New Excuse For Not Talking About Plame Leak

Associated Press: Bush Pardons, Commuted Sentence

Well, That Wasn't Much Of A Wait ...

If Scooter Libby leaves that Christmas stocking hung, it may end up with not much more that a piece of coal in it.

'Cuz that Christmas Presidential Pardon sure ain't flying down the chimney this year!

The Department of Injustice released their 2007 List of Pardons today, and I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby was not among the 29 names getting their holiday orgasm, their golden "I Got Away With It" certificate.

No doubt, the holiday eggnog in the Libby abode must be heavily rummed-up, and, perhaps, tasting a bit clumpy this evening.

What's an ass-kissing, law-breaking, CIA-covert-agent-exposing convicted felon have to do around this place to get a little love from his Compassionate Commander Guy ex-boss?

Like Tessio, in 'The Godfather", The Scooter must have been thinking "Hell, he can't do that ... It screws up all my plans ..."

Now, Little Scooter has to sit around, probably with Mary Matalin getting all in his face, constantly badgering him with drafts of new fundraising letters, listening to publishers tell him his previous books suck, but "if you write about what you did", which has to tempt the Mrs. Scooter to be barking in his ears, "Screw them, take the money!", keeping his steely pluck, relying on all his experience as a dedicated civil servant, and wait until next year to get his freedom.

Maybe Fred Thompson will drop out of the race (rather than waiting, about another two months, to be booted out of it, embarrassingly, with numbers that would only look good on a golf card) so he can be by his buddy's side, putting the arm on all those neocons to kick up a few bucks for the Little Scooter.

Wouldn't be surprised either, to hear news that Cheney was brought into the hospital -again - with a broken defibrillator.

Cheney has to be sitting around, stewing, the picture of a Looney Tune cartoon, his oversized head throwing off buckets of sweat, thinking about is this the time to say 'fuck it", and just issue the pardon himself.

Fox News will have to file away all that B-Roll, tape over the sappy soundtrack, book new talking heads for all the appearances they had the Little Scooter pegged for - across their Freakshow line-up (but, they will put him on with Chris Wallace anyway, lest they have to listen to him piss-and-moan about not getting anyone to come on his show).

Boy, sure wouldn't mind being the package of Sweet'N Low on the table, the next time Scooter and Judy get together for coffee

Bonus Scooter Links

Jane Hamsher: Poor Scooter, Always a Bridesmaid…

Breaking News! Fox Bounces The Juice and Brings In The Scooter; OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons; Reagan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard Last Night At Scooter Libby Fundraiser


Scooter, you'll need to keep that pondering pose for, about, another year ...

All I Want For Christmas Is My Presidential Pardon

It would appear the I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby is placing his chips on "Presidential Pardon", with the news today that, despite continuing to claim his innocence, he is ending the appeal of his trial, leaving him, for the time being, a convicted felon.

In all likelihood, that was the deal from the beginning, but, considering the mental capacity of The Decider Guy, does he even remember The Scooter Guy?

Especially after, earlier this summer, he offered "I'm aware of the fact that perhaps somebody in the administration did disclose the name of that person ..."

Did Cheney have those CIA guys erase his memory as well?

Does Scooter get his Christmas stocking stuffed with a Presidential Pardon?

Is this Scooter's powerplay, to force the hand that will sign the pardon?

With the blizzard of new scandals that whacked the Bush Grindhouse in the past week - take your pick; A) the still-growing CIA Videotape erasure, B) The Iran NIE Report C) Sheldon Whitehouse's yeoman work in exposing the self-appointed rulings, declaring The Decider Guy, well, the real Decider Guy, as whatever he says is the law, is the law - is The Scooter getting nervous that something could happen - yes, the "I" word - comes down, before January 20th, 2009, killing off his going-out-the-door pardon?

Is this pressure from Darth Vader, that, perhaps, the device inside his chest is in it's last throes and he wants to see his little Robin (Ehhh, scratch that - the thought of Cheney and Libby in tights ... Nasty), free-and-clear while he's still ticking?

This oughta' put a few talking heads to work over the next few weeks.

Everybody can synchronize their watches, for the Libby Pardon Clock is, officially, set today.

Mary Matalin must be busy, drafting up those new fundraising letters, and urging all those Friends of Scooter, to start badgering The Decider Guy to make the only decision they know in their hearts should be made - Pardon our Little Scooter!

And, for all of you waiting to hear The Scooter, or The Bush Grindhouse, spill their guts, now that the appeal process is over, think again.

There's still the matter of Valerie Plame's possible lawsuit and, no doubt, they will continue to clam-up, citing that "litigation", if the Wilson's can revive their case, after it was thrown out last summer.

Still, it would make for entertaining viewing, to see a subpoenaed Scooter, sitting in front a Congressional Committee, displaying his deep dedication to public service, by taking the 5th, over-and-over. A veritable civics lesson for the cable news and C-Span viewers.

Scooter must be banking on that The Commander Guy has a Santa suit hanging in the closet, perhaps, right next to his Mission Accomplished" flightsuit.

Valerie Plame, covert CIA agent exposed, to punish her Iraq War-critical, Op-Ed-writing husband, and no one goes to jail for treason?

Sounds like another Bush Grindhouse "Mission Accomplished" to me.

It's Another Scooterpalooza!

Let's Hear It For The Quid Pro Quo ... New Garlic Song - Hush Little Libby

Jane Hamsher: Scooter Libby Drops Appeal, Ready To Testify Before Congress?

Shaun Mullen: A Fall Guy’s Final Fall

EmptyWheel: Scooter Libby, Still a Felon; the Unitary Executive, Still a Dubious Theory

The Carpetbagger Report: Libby drops appeal — and gives the White House a chance to divulge?

Sidney Blumenthal: Bush and Cheney walk, too; Even as the president confesses that Scooter Libby engaged in a cover-up -- after all, that was the verdict -- he completes the ultimate obstruction of justice in the Plame affair.

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Hello Dolly! ... Just In Time For Christmas ...

Well, this was a nice, easy way to softly land back into the grind, after two, much-needed, days' rest.

We hope our Garlic fans had a good Thanksgiving Holiday

In the event you also rested, and didn't take part in the MSM-and-Cable-News Cheerleading extravaganza of the "Black Friday" shopping frenzy (God, it was mind-numbing! Barry Crimmins covered the lead-in, the incessant loop of the travel reports, as if crowded airports the day before a holiday is a one-in-a-hundred-year event).

Apparently they're still following the Bush Grindhouse marching orders of "Go Shopping!".

The only thing that attempted to throw a cross-body block into the orchestrated push to the malls, was the seminal lost white woman story, the new developments in the Natalee Holloway case (which, going unreported, was the contribution of the news media flying to Aruba adding to those travel reports from a packed O'Hare in Chicago)

Too bad no new ripples jetted out of the late Anna Nicole Smith pool, otherwise, we may have actually seen our television sets go into spasms, with the news gatherers hyperventilating just how to divvy up those minutes of airtime.

So it was, over a nice cup of coffee, we espied the Christy Hardin Smith post, over on Firedoglake, "Your Holiday Shopping Conundrums Solved!"

Christy was riffing on an article by Al Karman, in the Washington Post, of a new Donald Rumsfeld doll ('Did You Push My Button? Yes. Am I Going to Talk? You Bet.')

That's right, a toy doll, in the likeness of ol' Rummy that, with the push-of-a-button, will speak classic Rumsfeldian.

Christy put in a call for "other ideas" ...

Sooooo ...

Here it is, The Garlic's recommended addition to your holiday shopping list.

The Bush Grindhouse Dolls

Dick Cheney: Comes with a group of secret playmates that you will be under court order not to divulge the names of and, a extra defibrillator, so you can perform an actual surgical operation, extending the life of your Dick Cheney doll (Coming Soon - The Deluxe Dick Cheney-Wolf Blitzer-Lynne Cheney Smack Down Set ).

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby: Does whatever the Dick Cheney Doll tells him what to do

Condoleezza Rice: Sit Condo down at the piano (included), or have her storm around in her knee-high leather boots ... Be sure to order the half-completed, still-under construction U.S. Iraq Embassy (with new Blackwater USA helicopters), or the Condi-Private Home-Special Companion Doll House)

Rush Limbaugh: New and improved with memory chip ... Take Rush to school with you and get ready for gut-busting laughter as your Rush doll mocks and insults any non-white, or handicapped students in your class

David Addington: Cheney's Cheney ... Comes with a parental warning, as the doll is capable of rewriting your house rules, allowing your child to act in atrocious and despicable ways. Additional warning cautions to be sure about having your child play with the David Addington and John Yoo dolls separately

Colin Powell: Playing with this doll will be like having a pet parrot, as you can have the Colin Powell doll say anything you want it to say (The Whispering George Tenet doll is not included and must be purchased separately)

Tom Delay: Along with quoting Bible versus and uttering completely wrong statements, your home will be rodent-free, as the Tom Delay doll also functions as a working exterminator

Jack Abramoff: Truly a special addition to your child's toy chest, as you stand back and watch the Abramoff doll bribe and make illegal payoffs to all your child's other dolls (Indian Casino sold separately)

Bill O'Reilly: The doll of non-stop, idiotic bluster that's fun for the whole family (Parental Supervision is recommended if this doll was purchased for a girl; A glitch in the programming may have the doll questioning the young female in an inappropriate, sexual manner)

President Bush: The Deluxe Transformer Edition: You can take this Conservative Christian and change him into The Decider Guy, The Commander Guy (Flight suit sold separately), or The Shakespeare Guy.

Whatever you turn your President George Bush doll into, your doll will under-perform, to a high degree, including complete failure (Expect the Consumer Protection Agency and Mainstream Media not to report this, and continually pump up the George Bush Doll as being successful).

Ordering Note

The Ann Coulter Doll is currently unavailable, having been recalled for possible violations, including copyright infringement and plagiarism.

The Dennis Miller Doll has been discontinued due to not coming to terms with the Game Show Network

Left Off Medal of Freedom Recipient List, Libby Said To Be "Crushed"

Cheney Said To Be Furious, Threatens To Expose Shadow Presidency If Pardon Doesn't Come Through

Sources tell The Garlic this morning that there are new, hostile divisions deep inside the White House.

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, commuted from his felony conviction in the Plame Leak Case, was said to be "despondent and crushed" after seeing the list of Medal of Freedom recipients released by the President yesterday.

Libby, according to a West Wing staffer, called Vice President Dick Cheney, and in tears, expressed his disappointment to his former boss, of not being awarded one.

Cheney was said to be furious, reacting angrily and threatened to expose the Shadow Presidency he has been conducting.

Cheney reportedly called the President, "barking at him" and demanded to know, if Libby was not receiving a Medal of Freedom award, when was his pardon coming through.

"We were sure Scooter was going to get one." whined Mary Matalin (Editor's Note: Whining is Ms. Matalins' natural way of speaking), a Libby friend and former colleague, as well as one of the chief fundraisers for Libby's defense.

"I mean, he gave one to Tenet, for God sakes!"

When asked for comment, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino indicated she didn't know anything about the Medal of Freedom awards, or how the list was developed.

"However," she added, "I believe that there are certain health benefits to not receiving one."

Libby is, reportedly, in talks with the Fox News Network as to developing a new show, tentatively titled "Are You Smarter Than a Convicted, But Commuted, Former White House Official?"

Bonus Scooter Links

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Tim Russert Didn't Ask Scooter Libby About Joe Wilson and His Wife

Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

Letters Cast Light on Cheney's Inner Circle; Dozens of Prominent Figures and Insiders Praise Libby as Fundamentally Decent








"We were sure Scooter was going to get one,." whined Mary Matalin. "I mean, he gave one to Tenet, for Godsakes!"

For All We Know, Maybe Scooter Did Throw A Hissy Fit ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Move over Tenet, there's another lackey that's going to get his ...

At least, that is, if our Garlic Poll voters were advising The Commander Guy.

But wouldn't have been so sweet, to see the Scooter Man, tears running down his cheeks, slumped down in the back of the limo, crying out for his "Cheney, Cheney" ... And scaring the bejeezes out of television viewers, Mary Matalin with a screeching tirade on how unfair it was that Scooter had to go to jail ...

Ahhh, but that could only be a thought ... The reality came thundering down in the Quid Pro Quo delivered last week.

Who knows ... The Medal of Freedom could still be in the cards for Libby ...Some of the other guys who hatched this thing - now up to 4,000 casualties - already got one ... I mean, why should he be singled out as one of the only screw-ups not to get it?

Underlying Crime? ... Take Your Pick ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 2 - July 8 2007

Instead of giving Scooter Libby clemency, President Bush Should Have ...

1. Treated him like others and award Libby the Medal of Freedom Tally 38%

2. Told him to throw a hissy fit, like Paris Hilton, so he could get House Detention Tally 26%

3. Handed him a Presidential Toothbrush for his prison stay Tally 23%

4. Pull some strings and let him serve his time in same prison as Jack Abramoff Tally 13%

This week’s Poll - President Bush believes that Executive Privilege is ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Let's Hear It For The Quid Pro Quo ... New Garlic Song - Hush Little Libby

Well, we had to do something to feat the remarkable occasion, before the end-of-the-week.

It's not every day you witness the President of the United States work his end of-the-deal of a Quid Pro Quo, which, as we all know, is what down this past Monday afternoon.

The Bush Grindhouse was in peril.

One of there loyal own was about to be carted off to jail, despite the Bush Grindhouse's efforts to pack the courts with "their kind of judges".

I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby did his part, back in 2002-2003, exposing covert CIA Agent Valerie Plame, kept doing his part, lying and obstructing justice during the subsequent investigation, in the Grand Jury, and completed his part during his trial earlier this year, by not calling his boss, the Vice President to testify, and by not testifying himself.

And he waited, if not nervously, patiently, through the sentencing and through the appeal to remain free on bond.

Then, without warning, The Commander Guy morphed into The Commutation Guy and Cheney could rest easy in his Secret Bunker, perhaps his first night, in many, without sleeping with the defibrillator nearby.

The Quid Pro Quo was complete.

Scooter Skates.

So, if he is going to skate, he needs a soundtrack, something he can groove and sway to as he rolls off into the sunset,

Everybody, sing along, it's an old school lullabye!

Hush Little Libby

Hush little Libby don't say a word
Cheney's gonna get your sentence deferred

If that Decider does his thing
It'll piss off the whole left wing

If the left wing bites our ass,
Cheney's gonna buy you a looking glass

If that looking glass gets broke,
Our asses will be covered by the Neocon folk

If those Neocon folk don't push,
We can just blame good ol' George W. Bush

And If George Bush doesn't fold his tent,
We can easily win this arguement

If the spin we spin won't bark,
Rove'll get Fredo to fire another shark

And if this deal just won't go down,
You'll still be the sweetest little liar in town

Bonus Links

Elizabeth de la Vega: Bush's Real Fourth of July Message to Nation: Unprintable

David Shuster dismantles Fouad Ajami’s comparison of Libby to our fallen soldiers

Impeachment Fever: America's Got It!

Update

John Dean: Bush’s Commutation Conflicts With His Own DoJ Guidelines














Libby and the Scooterettes

Of Blackboards, Chalk and Legacies ... The Constitutional Crises Continues

Okay, so it's been a holiday week, I should stifle my impatience that Congress hasn't filed the Impeachment papers, or the call for a Citizen's Arrest has gone down yet.

Everyone must be waiting for a clean news cycle to spring into action.

The Blackboard and Chalk Part

So much for the faulty memory.

It appears I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby remembered very clearly, that he better hustle his ass off and pay the $250,000 fine related to his felon conviction - and within 72-hours of being bailed out by The Commutation Guy - before anyone gets the wiser and messes up his "Hush and Keep Quiet" deal.

And, as Gomer Pyle would say, "Surprise, Surprise!", we have a legal kerfuffle brewing, thanks to The Commander Guy (just at the moment he was morphing into The Commutation Guy).

The presiding Judge, His Honor Reggie Walton, has pointed out to the Bush Grindhouse, of said felon, Scooter Libby, that the statute doesn't accommodate probation if a convicted felon doesn't serve any part of his sentence.

The Scooter Man didn't serve any part of his 30-Month sentence.

The Bush Grindhouse still insists that the commutation was legit and Libby is not receiving any special treatment.

So, speculation is this will be settled in the following manner;

Scooter Libby will stay after work, and write on a blackboard:

"I WILL NOT LIE OR OBSTRUCT JUSTICE" 500 times.

There. Done. Punished.

The Legacy Part

Boy, the legacy building is really tough these days, especially when you break the law, cloak your work in secrecy and, otherwise, don't do anything positive.

And he can't, technically, claim getting elected President on the Legacy Ledger - that was handed to him by the Supreme Court.

So, you compensate, right?

You build a new Iraq Embassy that could probably house a few dozen Spruce Gooses' (and, apparently, following Mr. Hughes' lead in using, how should we say, different materials).

You keep sending in troops - and even more mercanaries - to a war that was long lost.

And there's the arm-twisting whatever remains of his deluded supporters, to kick in big-time, for a presidential library.

The only mystery or suspense about what would be housed in a Bush Presidential Library, with his (or Cheney's) penchant for burying everything, is if there'll be a copy of 'My Pet Goat' in it.

But thanks to Glenn Greenwald yesterday, The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy can peek at what awaits him, as he shallowly and embarassingly cuts the ribbon (assuming they don't put that out on a No-Bid Contract) on his post-Presidency whatever-you-call-it building.

The tragic collapse of America's standing in the world

And there's this caveat;

And in what is perhaps the most tragic aspect of the Bush legacy, large numbers of people around the world, over the last six years, have abandoned their belief in U.S. democratic values -- the exact opposite result, literally, of our ostensible objective in everything we have done in the last six years

Maybe we need to get Bush to write on a blackboard 500 times;

"I WILL NOT LIE, COOK INTEL, START PHONY WARS, ILLEGALLY WIRETAP, EXPOSE COVERT CIA AGENTS, FILL THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT WITH CRONIES, ISSUE ANYMORE SIGNING STATEMENTS, OR IGNORE THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS"

Send chalk to:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Bonus Links

Lewis Libby owes his freedom to our corrupt political elite

Late Nite FDL: News Flash! They Don’t Hate Us for Our Freedom.

Washington, Lincoln Most Popular Presidents: Nixon, Bush Least Popular

Update

Arianna Huffington: Oh, the Hardship: It Takes Libby Nearly Three Days to Pay His Quarter Mil Fine

Frank Rich: When the Vice President Does It, That Means It’s Not Illegal