Saturday, November 22, 2008

Our Ignorant Dolt of The Week .... Daniel Henninger!

Or: Oh No, Another Pinhead War on Christmas

Boy, if Santa Claus has made up his list, of who's been naughty, and who's been nice, and knowing the penalty attached to the former, if he follows Daniel Henninger's logic, Santa is going to have to strip mine the entire globe to come up with enough coal to stuff in those stockings.

It was a slow week on the Ignorant Dolt front.

We gave some thought to pinning it on our President-Elect, for calling out to Hillary to "C'mon Down", however it isn't official yet, so we may save that for another week.

Henninger is the Deputy Editorial Page Director of the Wall Street Journal, and he penned a column the other day that is a doozy;

Mad Max and the Meltdown: How we went from Christmas to crisis

Notwithstanding the cardboard Santas who seem to have arrived in stores this year near Halloween, the holiday season starts in seven days with Thanksgiving. And so it will come to pass once again that many people will spend four weeks biting on tongues lest they say "Merry Christmas" and perchance, give offense. Christmas, the holiday that dare not speak its name.
Okay, perhaps he's just looking to increase his bookings on the Faux News Network, sitting in the chair next to the Grand Ayatollah of Ignorant Dolts, Bill O'Reilly, so they can swap propaganda on the blazing firefight of their propped-up War on Christmas.

If only it was such pandering ...

Henninger wants to tie in the meltdown of our economy, blaming the non-believers, who by the way, are responsible for the meltdown, as adding a Petraeuseque surge in their War on Christmas.
"This year we celebrate the desacralized "holidays" amid what is for many unprecedented economic ruin -- fortunes halved, jobs lost, homes foreclosed. People wonder, What happened? One man's theory: A nation whose people can't say "Merry Christmas" is a nation capable of ruining its own economy.

One had better explain that."

"What really went missing through the subprime mortgage years were the three Rs: responsibility, restraint and remorse. They are the ballast that stabilizes two better-known Rs from the world of free markets: risk and reward.

Responsibility and restraint are moral sentiments. Remorse is a product of conscience. None of these grow on trees. Each must be learned, taught, passed down. And so we come back to the disappearance of "Merry Christmas."

It has been my view that the steady secularizing and insistent effort at dereligioning America has been dangerous. That danger flashed red in the fall into subprime personal behavior by borrowers and bankers, who after all are just people. Northerners and atheists who vilify Southern evangelicals are throwing out nurturers of useful virtue with the bathwater of obnoxious political opinions.

The point for a healthy society of commerce and politics is not that religion saves, but that it keeps most of the players inside the chalk lines. We are erasing the chalk lines.

Feel free: Banish Merry Christmas. Get ready for Mad Max."

Jesus, if he stretched it anymore, his arm would have to pop out of its socket.

Did he stumble on this, a clip showing the GAID O'Reilly, talking with fellow pinhead John Gibson, babbling on-and-on, over-the-top idiocracy (way too many electrolytes!) and say, "I can beat that!"

Matt Corley, over on Think Progress sums it up nicely, saying "After cataloging a series of complex economic factors that do relate to the financial crisis, Henninger concludes that what really went wrong is that “the steady secularizing and insistent effort at dereligioning America” led to “subprime personal behavior by borrowers and bankers.”.

From dday;
Got that, secular progressives? Deregulation, predatory lending and corporate greed had nothing to do with this. It's you and your atheist friends who are promoting anarchy and the destruction of morals. If there were only crosses on top of Wall Street skyscrapers, the investment bankers and hedge fund managers inside wouldn't have given in to the temptation of greed. Your 401 (k) might have been saved if you practiced Lent this year.

Thanks a lot, heathens. Good luck heating your home with those Bibles you like to burn.

Hilzoy, on Obsidian Wings predicted that Henninger's tirade "has to be in the running for Dumbest Column Ever." and that "it launches itself off into the great empyrean of stupid."

And, this, from Steve Benen;
And yet, the editors at the WSJ continue to push the envelope in new and mind-numbing directions. The Journal published this piece from Daniel Henninger today, which aims to explain "how we went from Christmas to crisis." I've read the whole piece a few times, trying to understand it. I'm at a loss.

Henninger begins by repeating nonsense about Americans, en masse, being afraid to wish others a "Merry Christmas." This, on its face, is absurd. But he goes much further, connecting this non-existent trend in holiday-related rhetoric to the financial crisis, apparently blaming the prior for the latter: "A nation whose people can't say 'Merry Christmas' is a nation capable of ruining its own economy."

Why anyone would attach their name to such transparent foolishness is a mystery to me. Why anyone would publish such inanity is even harder to understand.
Foolishness and Insanity?

Oh yeah, royally, and that pushes Daniel Henninger into the winner's circle, for The Garlic's "Ignorant Dolt of The Week!"

Bonus Great War On Xmas Riffs

Wikipedia: Christmas controversy

Media Matters for America: War on Christmas

Wonkette: A Festivus Miracle: No Fannie/Freddie Foreclosures! (Until January 9)

Liza Featherstone: Merry Christmas, Bill O'Reilly!

Nicole Belle: The O'Reilly Fatuity: The War on Christmas has morphed into the War on Christians

David Kiley: O'Reilly's War on Christmas: Truth Takes a Holiday Again

Eric Boehlert: Battling the homosexuals, liberals and Jews, Bill O'Reilly and friends are making America safe for Christmas

O'Reilly Gears Up Next War; Says Will Battle To Save "Little Christmas"; Calls For New Laws and Mandatory Fines; Doesn't Hesitate To Make Up False Charges To Broadcast His Point

The Mommy Moose Fan Club

Oh, I'm sorry, wrong video.

Word comes today (and earlier this week) of a, ya gotta give'em that they got spirit, a Sarah Palin Fan Club, of sorts, the Our Country Deserves Better PAC, and they are not waiting.

They love The Wasilla Whiz Kid and they want to let everybody know it.

Group Makes Support Video for Palin in Rancho

More than 100 Californians are appearing in a new television ad campaign this week that will be directed to Governor Sarah Palin. Because of what this group is calling bashing from the media, they’ve decided to instead thank Palin for her work in the 2008 Presidential campaign. The ad is being produced by a conservative group called Our Country Deserves Better and people from all over the country are heading to Rancho Cordova to take part.

The Republican vice president candidate received a lot of media attention during her run for office. Everything from her hairstyle, glasses and manner of speech was critiqued. Others argue that is true for any one running for public office and she shouldn’t be singled out. Our Country Deserves Better disagrees and plans on showing America another side of Sarah Palin over Thanksgiving weekend, when the advertisement will air on cable television stations across the country.
You can view their video, "Thank You Sarah Palin!", HERE.

I might want to join them in a small round of "Thanks"

I sure got a bevy of posts out of her fleeting moments in the spotlight, movin' up to the big show (HERE, HERE and HERE).

Now, before we get too excited about this Our Country Deserves Better PAC, leading the charge, carrying the infamous infamous Hockey Mom on their shoulders, to victory in 2012, let's look at how they did this year.

From the Our Country Deserves Better PAC website;
Our Beliefs

The Our Country Deserves Better PAC has one objective: to defeat Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election. We won't be subtle or vague - America's future is at stake, and it's time someone stood up to Barack Obama and told the American people why this man cannot, and must not, serve as our next Commander-in-Chief. We are going to give the American people the truth in no uncertain terms because that is what they expect, but haven’t been getting from either the news media or many of our political leaders.

Didn't do to good on that "defeating Barack Obama" thing, did ya?

Oh, but the truth did come out.

That the Dead Campaign Express ran a negative, lying, smearing, bigoted campaign, with The Wild Wordsmith of Wasilla, on the mound (and the stump) hurling most of the innings with those mudballs.

So, if they want to throw away their money, with an "Up With Peoplesque" video, knock yourself out, folks.

Mommy Moose may have other ideas.
Who's the leader of the club
That's made for you and me

Oh yeah, one more thing.

We already have seen "another side of Sarah Palin" over Thanksgiving.

Remembering THE GAME ... Harvard Beats Yale 29-29

While they meet for the 125th time, today's Harvard-Yale match-up plays second fiddle to something bigger.

It is the 40th Anniversary of THE GAME.

Yeah, you're reading that right ...

Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29.

This was back in the waning days of Ivy League football that still mattered in the national scene.

Both teams came into the game undefeated, but the high-powered Bulldogs were the favorites, led by future Dallas Cowboy, Calvin Hill, and star quarterback, Brian Dowling (more on him below).

Yale was kicking the Crimson's butt, and late in the game, with a 29-13 lead, driving down the field for another score, Mr. Destiny sprinkled his dust over Harvard Stadium, and it was just a matter of minutes for history to unfold.

From The Bleacher Report;

Looking across the stadium, I saw hundreds if not thousands of white handkerchiefs waving as the poor-sport Yalies taunted us. Dowling and his minions were unwilling to settle for a thumping. They wanted a humiliation.

Yale started marching down the field. Again. Some fans adjourned at this point for local bars—the Yalies for raucous celebration, the home team supporters to cry in their beer.

Only 14 yards away from a fifth touchdown, the Yale fullback fumbled. So down by 16 with 3:34 remaining, Harvard had the ball.

By this time, Harvard’s backup quarterback, Frank Champi, had taken over. With a third and 18 on the Yale 38, he was sacked, but the ball dribbled out of his arms on the way down and a Harvard lineman—the immortal Fritz Reed—picked up the lonely spheroid and thundered to the Yale 15.

Two more Champi passes and Harvard scored with 42 seconds left in the game. The two point conversion failed. Okay.

So now Harvard would lose, but would not be humiliated. But wait—a flag.

Yale was called for pass interference. On the replay, Harvard fullback Gus Crim rumbled in for a score.

Everyone in the stadium knew that an onside kick was coming, but that did not stop Harvard from recovering it. No one was leaving now. The white hankies had disappeared.

Champi marched the team down to the Yale eight yard line.

Three seconds left.

Hike. Scramble.

As he was hit, Champi threw off the wrong foot. Vic Gatto, the first 2000 yard rusher in Harvard history, gathered it in.

No time left. Yale led 29-27. Champi, the backup, recalled, “I thought, ‘We’ve come this far.’ I was very confident. It was inevitable.”

And so it proved. After the field was cleared of fans, Champi hit burly tight end Pete Varney, later a major league catcher. Game over.

Harvard had scored 16 points in 42 seconds. Brian Dowling failed to come off the field with a victory for the first time since sixth grade.

I don’t remember a whole lot after that. And I don’t remember my date’s name. But I think I learned more in that game than I did in my freshman year classes.

What was the lesson? Keep trying no matter what the odds. Never give up. Never.

Yale Coach Carmen Cozza later said, “That tie was the worst loss of my career.” But it was the banner headline across the front page of the Crimson—the Harvard student newspaper—that best captured what we had witnessed: “Harvard Beats Yale 29-29.”
Yes, it was only a tie game, but it was treated like the Super Bowl (which most of the preppies from Harvard and Yale consider the game anyway).

Brian Dowling?

He later became the inspiration for the "B.D." character in 'Doonesbury', being a classmate of Garry Trudeau.

Harvard also had a bit of future star power, as well.

Before he became the man wearing black, playing left guard for the Crimson in THE GAME, was none other than Tommy Lee Jones.

And that headline?

The Saga of a Great Headline - The genesis of “Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29”

Editor’s note: As the clock ticked down to the 117th Harvard-Yale match-up, Alan Schwarz, senior writer for Baseball America magazine, filed this story.

It was supposed to be easy. Asked by American Heritage magazine to select the most overrated and underrated newspaper headlines in history, I knew the winners immediately. The Chicago Tribune’s “Dewey Defeats Truman” 1948 banner took the overrated category because, after all, it gained its immortality simply by being wrong. Meanwhile, the underrated headline would be one that appeared wrong, but was deliciously right: “Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29.” Somebody at the Crimson, with only one little word, had brilliantly captured the essence of the Harvard football team’s legendary comeback (16 points in the final 42 seconds) to tie Yale in November 1968. I would find that somebody.
Deliciously right ... Indeed.

Bonus Bulldog-Crimson Riffs

YouTube: Harvard beats Yale 29-29 (1968)
(Note: Poor Audio on this clip)

Quad Q&A: ‘Harvard Beats Yale 29-29′

Man of the moment - In 1968, Champi seized opportunity

'68 is still the one most remembered

The Harvard-Yale Game, Through the Ages

Harvard Beats Yale 29-29 ...Forty years ago, it wasn't only a game

This Date ... On The Garlic

22 November 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Uses For The Cancelled O.J. Book On Thanksgiving Day

22 November 2005... On The Garlic

Happy Holiday Garlic Fans!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Well, She Could Have Been Shooting Them From A Helicopter ...

If you ask me, this was a subtle (well, not so subtle, really) shot back at all her detractors, the other Republicans who have been dissing her, blowing her off for 2012, saying she's not what the party is about.

If he wasn't dead already, you could have been led to think that this press conference was directed, and shot, by Sam Peckinpah.

Yes, Mommy Moose is in the news again (well, she has never really left it, has she?), doing the lame, traditional "Turkey Pardon" (I wasn't aware Governors did this - I thought that was a Presidential thing - Hint, Hint!) and, then, stepping out to do a little PR.

Not that she offered anything earth-shattering, or profound (we are talking about The Wasilla Whiz Kid here, after all), it is her choice of location that has been buzzing in the headlines.

And, as everyone who has presented this has done, we offer the warning that you may find the scene of a turkey being slaughtered a bit gruesome.

KTUU 2008 Sarah Palin turkey interview

It was said that the photographer alerted the infamous Hockey Mom to the activities going on behind her, and she shrugged it off.

Like I said, perhaps pointing at people like, say, Newt Gingrich, she knew what she was doing, and it was less doing the ceremonial thing, and more that she was delivering a message.

No doubt, Rich Lowery must be playing the above video, over-and-over, breathless and soaked, not once glancing at the carnage going behind his dream girl, with the rainstorm of starbursts cascading over him.

We'll have to wait and see if the Turkey Farm went out and purchased her clothes for the Bloody Pardon Press Conference.

Doesn't a girl gotta look good standing in front of birds being slaughtered?

Ya Betch'ya!

And the Thanksgiving holiday, itself?

A Palinpalooza of potential media coverage!

Stuffing the turkey ... Mashing the potatoes .. Carving the cooked bird ... Serving the homemade pies ...

And, what does everyone do the day after Thanksgiving?

Go Shopping!

Recycle your Thanksgiving toothpicks to use for how often The Wild Wordsmith of Wasilla (as labeled by Dick Cavett) pops up on the tube over this holiday season.

Happy Palin Holidays!

Bonus McKKKain Running-Mate Riffs

Bob Cesca: WTF?

Libby Spencer: Palin talks turkey

(Be sure to view the bonus video Libby posted - WKRP turkey drop scene Happy Thanksgiving - It's hysterical!)

McCain VP Confusion; Staff Had Canadian Actress Sarah Polley In Dayton Hotel For Three Days

Hey Palin, I'll See You Your First Amendment Rights, and Raise You Our Eighth!

Alaskan Lie

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Neighbor Is Being Vetted For An Obama Cabinet Post

News Item: Barack Obama and the Culture of Leaks

10. They asked you to TIVO the Obama's visit to the White House, and now come over every day to watch, gushing over it

9. Family is listening to audio book "Dreams of My Father", with the volume cranked all the way

8. Your weekly bridge game gets constantly interrupted by Secret Service agents, asking probing questions

7. Clinton friends and supporters have begun threatening you

6. You used to live next door to Michael Vick

5. Rahm Emanuel has already kidnapped their children, as leverage, to prevent them leaking to the media

4. Rather suddenly, family walking around, wearing Chicago Bears jerseys - And you don't live anywhere near Chicago

3. You hear banging, a commotion, and you're neighbor crying, sobbing "But I've never been a lobbyist ... I don't even know any lobbyists"

2. You've seen the book, ''Team of Rivals' on their coffee table

1. Their kids are running all over the place, swearing like Joe Scarborough

This Date ... On The Garlic

21 November 2007... On The Garlic

Happy Holiday ... However You Celebrate it!

21 November 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Fox Bounces The Juice and Brings In The Scooter; OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons; Regan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

21 November 2005... On The Garlic

Murtha Calls For Cheney To Withdraw From Secret Bunker

Top Ten Cloves:'s Responses To Fraud Charges In Setting Up Fake Dates

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Commander Guy Sees His Future

Funny, looking back at those days, when The Commander Guy would give a speech, before a wildly hooting-and-hollering audience, only to discover that his preferred location to deliver said speeches were military bases and institutions.

Then we have today, where he finds himself with an international group of his peers, the G-20 Summit.

CNN Reports on President Bush - Where's the Love?

I guess those other World Leaders aren't ponying up anything for the Legacy run.

Or, perhaps, they're fearful, touching him could bring about some kind of jinx, that they would go home and drive their countries into the ground - well, at least the parts of it that The Bush Grindhouse hasn't already taken down with them.

From Steve Benen;

It is curious. It seemed as if every head of state was anxious to greet and shake hands with every other, except Bush. It wouldn't have been so jarring if Bush wasn't the only one to get the cold shoulder from everyone.

It's possible, I suppose, that there's an explanation for this that isn't humiliating for the president, but here's a question: what do you suppose the chances would be that none of the world leaders would shake hands with Barack Obama, had he represented the United States at the G20 meeting?
Cold shoulder?

Jesus, there was enough iciness there that would have had Mr. Freeze melting with envy.

I wonder if they made him shine their shoes before the photo, or go out and get coffee for everyone?

More Dubya Legacy Riffs

New Bush Export - Preemptive Horseshit!

Well, It's A Destiny of Sitting at The Presidential Kids Table

Where's That Apple Runner When You Need Her?

It's Time To Bring Down Rollo Tomasi

Retro Garlic: Bush Is Batman? ... Holy Batshit!

We're In The Hunt! ... Get Your Vote In For The Garlic!

Well, first things, first, we should thank those of you who have already placed your vote, in the 2008 Weblog Awards, for The Garlic, in the category of 'Best Humor Blog'.

As of this morning, we're in the thick of it, sitting in third place, with a little more than a week to go.

If you need to see for yourself, you can go to our first post announcing the nomination, where we have a bevy of links to the more popular posts on The Garlic this year (as well, you can scroll down the left column to see the "Reader's Favorites").

We also have this;

A Compliment for The Garlic

J. Grab, the writer of this new blog, which seems to track comedy, humor and satire, offered

This week I tried to delve deeper into the world of political satire blogging. I just googled a lot (how’s that for linking?) and was able to come up with some stuff in surprisingly sparse field. I find it odd that in the age of the Internet and the age of what Entertainment Weekly has called “the most entertaining election ever,” I wasn’t launched into a bevvy of sites. Here are three that stood out. I’m sure there are more to come and hope I am just dipping my toes into the world of Internet political satire.
And they had this to say;
The Garlic is a site with obvious respect or hatred for The Onion. The title could mean either. I loved this site because it is so well informed. It’s definitely pro-Obama (probama anyone?), but most satirists seem to be. It is also spectacular how they refer to McCain as “Stumblin’ Bumblin’ John.“

Pros: Backed Up Sources. You can see from that list, it’s funny, but not moronic at all. All those links are backed up sources, unlike myself who links to things like this.

Cons: Definitely not for the casual election follower.

So, take a few seconds and give The Garlic your vote.

The Weblog Awards makes it incredibly simple, no fussing around with signing in, or registering, just use the link below, and it should only take a few seconds.

This link HERE will take you to a page where The Garlic nomination is right on top.

Just click on the "Plus" icon to register your vote

Thank you all, for your votes, your readership and your consideration.

The 2008 Weblog Awards

This Date ... On The Garlic

20 November 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: How The Amazon Kindle Can Effect The Legal World

20 November 2006... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic - New Keith Olbermann Special Comment: Lessons from the Vietnam War

Garlic Special - New Pentagon Theme Song

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'm Leavin' On A Jet Plane ...

Or: How To Blow A Congressional Bailout For Your Industry

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Well, to take a page from 'Cool Hand Luke', what we got here today (in Washington), is a failure to communicate.

The Big Cheeses of the Big Three came roaring into town, tin cup in hand, hoping, praying, that they could go roaring out of town, with around $25-Billion, or so, of taxpayer money ...

To continue to build pieces of shit that more-and-more people don't want to buy.

And this comes in the middle of a economic conflagration, with the pro "Give'em The Money" camps painting murals of gloom, breadlines and the complete meltdown of the USofA, while the con "Screw'em" camps are waving "Bon Voyage, as they point the way to Bankruptcy Court, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

One such naysayer was none other than Make-Up Mitt Romney, in a NYT Op-Ed today, advocating "Let Detroit Go Bankrupt";
Furthermore, retiree benefits must be reduced so that the total burden per auto for domestic makers is not higher than that of foreign producers.

The American auto industry is vital to our national interest as an employer and as a hub for manufacturing. A managed bankruptcy may be the only path to the fundamental restructuring the industry needs. It would permit the companies to shed excess labor, pension and real estate costs. The federal government should provide guarantees for post-bankruptcy financing and assure car buyers that their warranties are not at risk.
Hmmm ... I'm not a labor consultant, nor an economist, but it seems to me that Make-Up Mitt is saying that, yeah, we need a car industry, but "Fuck the workers, pay them shit wages, and no goddamn benefits"

Far cry from where he was, when he was running from President;
To Romney, McCain's approach isn't futurism, it's pessimism. In Southfield, he had a one-word retort: "Baloney."

"I hear people say, 'It's gone, those jobs are gone, transportation's gone, it's not coming back,'" he said. "I'm going to fight for every single job. I'm going to rebuild the industry. I'm going to take burdens off the back of the auto industry."
Mitt, thanks for playing the game ... On your way home, double-check that you didn't leave the dog on the roof, again.

Ahhh, but those Big Cheeses, from General Motor, Ford and Chrysler.

These are the guys that the Congress, and by extension of our elected officials, we, John and Jane Q. Taxpayer, were to just take for granted, right off the top, not to have any questions about their competence, or how they have run their companies into the ground, and believe that they know what they are doing, do the Congressional Hearing photo-op and send them back to Detroit, bailout check, in-hand.

Apparently, for all Rick Wagoner of GM, Alan Mulally of Ford, and Robert Nardelli of Chrysler know about running a car company, they must have been absent the day marketing and public perception was discussed, or no one sent them the memo.

Big Three CEOs Flew Private Jets to Plead for Public Funds; Auto Industry Close to Bankruptcy But They Get Pricey Perk
The CEOs of the big three automakers flew to the nation's capital yesterday in private luxurious jets to make their case to Washington that the auto industry is running out of cash and needs $25 billion in taxpayer money to avoid bankruptcy.

The CEOs of GM, Ford and Chrysler may have told Congress that they will likely go out of business without a bailout yet that has not stopped them from traveling in style, not even First Class is good enough.

These nitwits could not have shot themselves in the foot any better, then if they went hunting with the Vice President.

New York Congressman Gary Ackerman (D-NY) called it "It’s almost like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen in high hat and tuxedo."
There’s a delicious irony of seeing private luxury jets flying into DC, and people coming off of them with tin cups in their hands, saying that they’re going to be trimming down and streamlining their businesses. It’s almost like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen in high hat and tuxedo. Kind makes you a little bit suspicious as to whether or not…we’ve seen the future. There’s a message there. Couldn’t you all have downgraded to first class or jet-pooled to get here? It would have at least sent the message that you do get it.

This is on par with The Commander Guy, looking down from his Air Force One jet window at the flooded city of New Orleans, after Katrina.

Something tells me, if nothing else, the fear of tossing millions out of work, the collapse of the industry, isn't going to get Congress to fork over funds with this level of arrogance, this level of dimwittedness and while, likely, add to the chorus, of which Jonathan Stein wrote, over on Mother Jones;

Throw the Bums Out (of Detroit)
So what do you do? You take separate private jets from Detroit to Washington. You take three flights at an estimated cost of $20,000 each, despite the fact that coach flights are available for under $300 and first class flights are available for under $1,000.

You spend $60,000 when you could have spent $900. And then you go to Congress with your hand out.

Jesus H. Christ. Bailout funds for the industry should be contingent on new leadership taking over and old leadership being put in stocks.

If the corporate boards that sit over these guys - Rick Wagoner of GM, Alan Mulally of Ford, and Robert Nardelli of Chrysler - don't kneecap them, and send them packing, then why should our elected leaders have any faith in them, or give them anything but the flat side of a wingtip shoe in their fat, lazy corporate asses.

Sorry, but we don't like to put bags of taxpayer money in the luggage holes of CEO Corporate jets.

If they didn't see this as a problem as they were winging their way to Washington, I doubt they are understanding it as they wing their way back to Detroit.

Yes, we need a real, big, loud Help Me Mr. Wizard!

Bonus Nitwit Big Three Riffs

Marc Ambinder: Annals Of Stupid Corporate PR Tricks

A.J. Liebling: Bailouts: The Game Show

Emptywheel: Shorter Mitt: Let the Auto Retirees Starve!!!

Steve Benen: PRIVATE JETS...

Bonus Bonus

This ones for you, you high-flying, Corporate Jet, Big Three CEO's!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Our IDOTW Michele Bachmann Is At It - Again!

Oh Boy, this girl just doesn't know when to quit.

Didn't we hear about it in the debates?

Doesn't Congress have one of those "Gold-plated Cadillac" health plans??

If so, someone get Michele Bachmann some meds!

Thanks to John Amato, over on Crooks and Liars, we have, what we'll have to start calling, the latest installment, of the Batshit Crazy Bachmann.

Michelle Bachmann denies saying she wanted the media to investigate members of Congress who might be anti-American

Michelle Bachmann is a pretty wild person as we've seen, but after spewing venom at Barack Obama for a few minutes with Hannidate, she then lied to Alan Colmes and denied saying this on Hardball:

Bachmann: I would say, what I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look -- I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think the people would love to see an expose like that.
You can click here, to see for yourselves, that she did, indeed, say that.

It's on tape, there's no "hocus-pocus", it was on live television.
She's come up with a new one folks. She said that she never made those statements and they have now become an "urban legend." Is she living in a B type Horror/Slasher film world or what? Here's what she told Alan Colmes Tuesday night.

Colmes: You said you were concerned during the campaign that Obama had anti American views and you said the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look at the people and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America

Bachmann: Actually that's not what I said. It's an urban legend that was created and that's not what I said.

Colmes: I have the tape at my website

Bachmann: What I called on Alan was for the main stream media to do their job. They failed to vet Barack Obama the way they had John McCain. That's what I was called for.

Colmes: I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America. Do you really want...

Bachmann: What I said was that I'm not qualified to say whether members views are pro or anti American. That's not my job to do.
Urban Legend?

Obama wasn't vetted by the media during the campaign, the way Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain was?

Well, actually, there may be some truth there.

Obama wasn't treated to having donuts delivered to him by the AP's Liz Sidoti, and then sitting there, jawboning with Liz, and dissing his campaign opponent, McKKKain, the way the debunked Maverick and Sidoti sat there and dissed Obama.

And, if there is any kind of Urban Legend in play here, it is that Michele Bachmann isn't an Ignorant Dolt.

Minnesota, you may want to change your nickname;
Land of 10,000 Lakes - And One, Raving Lunatic!

Bonus IDOTW Bachmann Riffs

Ignorant Dolt of-the-Week

Think Progress: Bachmann Doubles Down: ‘Barack Obama’s Views Are Against America’

Huffington Post: Michele Bachmann: "Not All Cultures Are Equal" (EXCLUSIVE VIDEO)

Andy Birkey: Oops, she did it again: Bachmann says ‘Barack Obama’s views are against America’

Here in Minnesota media, she's saying she was misconstrued--on talk radio, she's saying Obama's anti-American again

Dump Michele Bachmann

Censure Bachmann

Ignorant Dolt-of-the-Week Follow-up ... Censure Michele Bachmann!

Oh, Our Hopes Were High ...

Cheney, Gonzales Indicted in Texas

Oh, how our hearts raced last evening, when that headline was espied.

I let out a roaring "Finally!"

Finally someone picked up on The Garlic's offer, and went out and nailed these suckers.

Back on July 4th, 2007, we posted a Garlictorial, calling on a, seemingly, last option, of putting The Commander Guy and Darth Vader under "Citizen's Arrest".

Since Congress wasn't going to do anything about their lawlessness, it was time for a good, ol' average American citizen to pick up the ball and run with it.

And there were (still are), some mighty impressive benefits for corralling this less-than-dynamic duo;

There must be some tiny hamlet, some Main Street USA berg that would be willing to put themselves on the map, become the saviors of our nation. A Sheriff with balls, a U.S. Attorney ready to swing back for justice.

Think Truth or Consequences, New Mexico... You can change your name to Citizen's Arrest and really cash in on it.

Leave history for a moment. For starters, think of the economic boon it would be.

The MSM media camped out for weeks, eating in your diners, sleeping in your motels (if you have a hotel, even better), shopping in your stores. Same for the protesters that will show up.

We're talking millions here.

Anderson Cooper will likely become your best friend ... Morning interviews on the Today Show (and, if the timing is right, perhaps you'll make it into a "Where In The World Is Matt Lauer" segment) ... Diane Sawyer ... Larry King ... Weeks-and-weeks of MSNBC Doc-Blocks ... 24/7 baby, all the way.

Yeah, Bill O'Reilly and Fox Noise might launch a jihad against you, but we can get Keith Olbermann to handle them.

And there's other revenue streams.

Bush and Cheney in orange jumpsuits - Priceless!

But, alas, it probably will not come to be this time around.

It seems that the local D.A. down there in Texas, that brought these charges against the deadly VP, and his sidekick, the former Crony General, doesn't have all his oars in the water, not to mention, in the recent elections, got voted out-of-office.

And, it still needs to be looked into if he is related to that Brewster family, from "Arsenic and Old Lace".

From Steve Benen;
The prosecutor in question is Willacy County District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra, who's apparently developed a reputation for being something of a ... how do I put this gently ... legal eccentric. A lawyer for Democratic state Sen. Eddie Lucio, Jr., who is also charged in the Cheney/Gonzales indictment, called Guerra a "one man circus."

The description seems to fit. David Kurtz noted that Guerra even got himself arrested not too long ago.

As it happens, Guerra sought re-election as a district attorney, but lost (badly) in a Democratic primary back in March. With his term nearly complete, it appears that he's scurrying to get some 11th-hour indictments against his enemies off his to-do list.

That means the sands are running through the hour glass on our call for a Citizen's Arrest, and we won't, most likely, not see a prep walk of Bush and Cheney, in those prison-orange jumpsuits.

Citizen's Arrest USA ... That could be your town ... Booming economy for months-to-come, possible longer ...

Don't let the World Court, in The Hague, grab all the glory ...

Bonus "Almost" Riffs

Emma Perez-Trevino, The Brownsville Herald: Vice President Cheney indicted by Willacy County grand jury

The Raw Story: Cheney, Gonzales indicted


Bush To Change Legal Landscape - White House Primed To Replace "Miranda" With New, "Cheney Decision"; Says Still Tough On Crime; Won't Be Applicable For Rounded-Up Terror Suspects - "That's What Patriot Act Is For"

White House To Manage Media - New White House Press Strategy On VP Shooting Deemed "Smashing Success"; Expect More Reports From Average Citizens, Local Papers Breaking News; President May Board Up Press Room

Special Sing-Along: Dick, The Magic Vice Prez

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Commander Guy Pisses On Interior Department, Marking His Territory

Like a mangy, horny feline, in heat, the Bush Grindhouse is going around, pissing all over the government offices, marking off its' territory, and looking to stink up the joint for the Obama Administration.

Administration Moves to Protect Key Appointees; Political Positions Shifted To Career Civil Service Jobs

Just weeks before leaving office, the Interior Department's top lawyer has shifted half a dozen key deputies -- including two former political appointees who have been involved in controversial environmental decisions -- into senior civil service posts.

The transfer of political appointees into permanent federal positions, called "burrowing" by career officials, creates security for those employees, and at least initially will deprive the incoming Obama administration of the chance to install its preferred appointees in some key jobs
And, of course, Dana Perino, the poster girl for 'glass half full/half empty' optimism, gleefully beamed out yesterday;
PERINO: But there are people in the federal government who — and you should want people who have worked in the administration who think that they might want to make their careers in government. We have a lot of smart people all across the government with a lot of expertise — in the financial sector, in the energy sector, in the environmental sector, the Labor Department, etc.

Considering where the country is presently, where have they been hiding these "smart people" with "a lot of expertise"?

Now, we're talking Civil Service here, which makes it nearly impossible to dump the deadwood, no matter how much they fuck up, or how incompetent they may be.

And, where this is concentrated on the Interior Department, which oversees the places Bush Cronies want to drill and scrape the earth, it certainly looks like The Commander Guy is tossing them a one last "Mission Accomplished", and said Cronies will likely erect their derricks and move in their earth scrappers before Obama takes the oath of office.

Perhaps a few options to thwart the worst President in U.S. history are in order.

1. Transfer these dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds to some remote outposts. Let them wither their careers away in some government office on the border of North Dakota and Canada.

Or, better yet, ship up to work with The Wasilla Whiz Kid, and the land of the Midnight Sun.

2. With majorities in Congress, the Obama Administration can rewrite the Civil Service jobs, just enough to exterminate the last droppings of the Bush Grindhouse, send them packing, and then revert back to the original rules.

The 43rd President has done yeoman's work in bringing down this country and he shouldn't get away with leaving his pinhead appointments in place, to muck up the work of undoing the mess he has left us.

As Nicholas von Hoffman once said, during the height of Watergate, on 60-Minutes' "Point-Counterpoint", "There's a dead mouse on America's kitchen floor and it was time for Congress to come in and sweep it up".

Get the brooms ready, there's gonna be a whole lot of sweepin' to be done.

Bonus Bogus Bush Moves

McJoan: Another FU from BushCo

Matthew Yglesias: Burrowing

Nightshift66: Aren't these cretins gone YET??

Laura McGann: Why Bother Making Political Appointees Bureaucrats?

Dday: More Laying Of Landmines

DownWithTyranny: More Bad Faith From The Worst President In History

This Date ... On The Garlic

19 November 2007... On The Garlic

Black Bunting and Chalk Outlines ... It's Weekend at Rudy's

Townsend's Lack of Knowledge On Al Qaeda Gets Her Bounced; Sources Say Can't Be Sure She Would Be Able To Get Iran Info Straight

19 November 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Ahhh, Mr. Bush, We Need To See You After Class ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

19 November 2005... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Al Giordano - "Mr. President-Elect: Judge Abner Mikva Is Right About Sen. Clinton as Secretary of State"

Well, to steal from Michael Corleone, "Just when I thought she was out... they pull her back in ..."

It's the Hillary Clinton Show (co-starring husband, ex-Prez, Bill) again, as we are now in about Day Six of Hillary-as-Secretary-of-State, Def Con 5-mode.

If this is abstruse, or perplexing, and you find yourself shaking your head, saying "WTF", just fire up that TIVO in your mind, go back a few months, and cue up the Hillary Clinton Show when it was Hillary-as-Vice-President, Def Con 5-mode.

Ahhh, but there are voices cutting through the din.

There were two people that had the presidential election nailed to the wall.

One, was Nate Silver, over on

The other was Al Giordano, over on The Field.

Nearly a year before the election, Giordano laid it all out, the Obama ground troops and field game, the wave the was building (and, obviously ignored or underestimated by the Clintonistas, and later, the Dead Campaign Express).

Today, Giordano offers another flare up, hoping to get the attention of President-Elect Barack Obama;

Mr. President-Elect: Judge Abner Mikva Is Right About Sen. Clinton as Secretary of State

Here's a few snips, but go read the post, it's a good one.

Like so many of those here, below, at the grassroots base that refuse to believe the noise machine that seeks to demoralize us and make a lie of your own statement, if - and we say "if" because we have never believed the noise machine's spin, and that is why you are president-elect today - but if you are at all persuaded by the pressures upon you turn your foreign policy over to a media freak show, we invoke the immortal words of Oliver Cromwell to the Church of Scotland in 1650 when it sought alliance with the Crown: "I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken."

Few are the voices - like the brave and wise Abner Mikva - with the wisdom and courage to stand up to the sycophants being rolled at present by the Mighty Wurlitzer!
And this;
There are better uses and positions for someone of the undeniable talent of Senator Clinton in your cabinet, or even on the Supreme Court, but the discretion and diplomacy required of the next Secretary of State to undo the grave messes already created cannot, should not, must not be placed in the hands of someone who - even if it is through little or no fault of her own - is a magnet for the kind of media circus that the mere suggestion of her appointment has drawn already.

Do not wake up on January 21 - or soon after - with the words of the great Abner Mikva ringing in your ears, lamenting that you did not heed them when you could:

"It's more than a legal problem - there are ethical problems and appearance problems."

Put me in the camp that believes it will be disastrous to have Hillary running the State Department (Geez, just look at the way she ran her campaign, Amtrak doesn't have train wrecks as bad as that).

The Hillarylanders have already warmed up their throats, to start singing Hillary as TMFOITW, accompanied by the Grand Central Station Locker Creatures ("Hillary is back! The keeper of the light! All hail Hillary! All hail Hillary! Oh Hillary can you see by the dawn's early light...").

And, let's not forgot a most keen observation from James Wolcott, back in the primaries;
For them, Hillary’s time had come, she had paid her dues, she had been thoroughly vetted, she had survived hairdos that would have sunk lesser mortals, and she didn’t let a little thing like being loathed by nearly half of the country bum her out and clog her transmission. Not since Nixon had there been such a show of grinding perseverance in the teeth of adversity, and Nixon in a pantsuit was never going to be an easy sell contrasted with the powerful embroidery of Obama’s eloquence—his very emergence on the political scene seemed like a feat of levitation. Hillary’s candidacy promised to make things better; Obama’s to make us better: outward improvement versus inward transformation. With Hillary, you would earn your merit badges; with Obama, your wings. Hillary’s candidacy was warmed-over meat loaf—comfort food for those too old or fearful to Dream.

Yes We Can, President-Elect Obama, we can do better for Secretary of State.

Give us the "Change we can believe in".

Choose someone else!

(And, pray, this comes true, if need-be)

Go read Al Giordano's Mr. President-Elect: Judge Abner Mikva Is Right About Sen. Clinton as Secretary of State

Bonus Hillary Riffs

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Hillary Clinton Becoming Secretary of State

Made It Ma, Top of the Campaign! ...

Al Giordano Handing Out Campaign Sheepskins ... To Hillary Supporters

Hillary's New Campaign Slogan: Keep Hopelessness Alive! ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Ari Berman: Hillary Inc.