Saturday, August 23, 2008

Thank God! ... It's Ordinary Joe!

No doubt, the ratings for those late night infomercials took a big hit.

Billy Mays' wallet will be a little lighter this week.

I'll be interested to hear what the strategy of dropping the news at around 1AM was (maybe, we were on target with our post yesterday).

Obama goes pragmatic and picks the Senator from Delaware, Joe Biden.

Good a choice as any, and infinitely better than one.

The MSM certainly added to the frenzy of yesterday, desperately picking over the limited, sparse clues (even noting the pronouns Obama was using), ramping up the tension ("any minute now"), employing Britney Spears-like stakeouts, and all but stamping their feet in a tantrum, demanding Obama to spill the beans.

Christ, Stumblin Bumblin' John McCain could have gone out and bought another dozen houses yesterday and nobody would have noticed (and just wait, when the abode-laden Arizonian makes his VP choice, and the noise from the media isn't loud enough, we'll hear how, shame on the media, as a POW, he should have gotten more media for his selection).

It is said, of a presidential candidate, that their first major decision, the one you can evaluate them on, is their selection of a running mate.

Under that note, Obama aced it ...

He didn't go out and grab "Who the hell is that?", a choice that would have either strained the capacity of Google, or crash Wikipedia.

He didn't, much to the chagrin of the Right Wing Freak Show, choose his former pastor, the Reverend Wright, Jesse Jackson, or the Nation of Islam.

And, he didn't buckle, capitulate to the media, or fall into the trap of tapping TMFOITW on the shoulder, just to make the Clintonistas, the Grand Central Station Locker Creatures ("Hillary is back! The keeper of the light! All hail Hillary! All hail Hillary! Oh Hillary can you see by the dawn's early light...") happy.

Their disappointment has long been telegraphed, to the point, they need occupational therapy, the cathartic roll call, just to justify that the "something can happen" sliver of hope they still hold, will deliver "something can happen" that will make their world right again.

Hang on to that folks, until, at least 2016.

Biden will be good for the campaign, comfortable slapping down Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny, and not a risky choice that will have you worrying about November.

And, he did give us this, the de facto line of the primary campaign.

So, for the Obama-Biden ticket, here's an old gem ...

Go Get'em!

Terry Callier Ordinary Joe

Bonus Biden

Brilliant at Breakfast: And So, it's Biden....Barack Makes His Choice...and it's Good!

BreitBart: Biden speaks _ and speaks _ his own mind

Chris Cillizza: Obama Picks Biden as V.P.

This Date ... On The Garlic

23 August 2007... On The Garlic

Is The White House Iraq Group Opening Up Franchises?

"I'm Shocked, Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here! ... You're Winnings, Mr. Allawi"

23 August 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard During the Marine Reservists’ Recall To Duty

Friday, August 22, 2008

Breaking! Obama VP Call Delayed - Piece of Paper With Name Lost

Sources tell The Garlic that the announcement of Barack Obama's vice president has been delayed, indefinitely, as chaos consumes Obama Headquarters in Chicago, searching for the piece of paper Obama "jotted" the name on.

"They're going crazy," offered one insider, close to the Obama campaign.

"They're rummaging through desks, emptying trash cans on floor, and they even have two interns sitting in the dumpster out back, going through every scrap of paper."

Unconfirmed rumors say that Obama wrote the name of his VP choice on the paper of a arugula wrap sandwich, a few days ago.

Staffers are attempting to confirm when the trash has been picked up last and are contemplating dispatching campaign staff to the city dump, to start the search there, just in case.

In addition to the campaign office, Obama's home and automobile have also been investigated.

Our source tells us that the campaign hasn't ruled out a hypnotist, to take Obama back to when he was eating the arugula wrap, to see if he can say the name, while in the trance.

More as this story develops.

Bonus Links

Top Ten Cloves: Things That Can Go Wrong With Obama Announcing VP Choice Via Email

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Bill O'Reilly Will Do To Get Interview With Barack Obama

Top Ten Cloves: If Hillary Clinton Is A Monster, The Movies That Would Be Made About Her

This Date ... On The Garlic

22 August 2007... On The Garlic

Retro Rudy ... When The Emperor Has No Clothes, I Guess, We're Supposed To Compliment His Hair ...

22 August 2005... On The Garlic

Garlic Exclusive! New RNC/GOP Commercial!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

No Sooner Had I Finished ...

And, sure as you-know-what, satire gets usurped by reality.


After posting earlier today, we went out to the World Wide Web (Memeorandum), and, lo-and-behold, there was a McCain-sized-definition-of-rich number of posts, crying out the use of the POW Card, to explain away (or at least a finger in the dike), the complete ridicule Fly Boy was receiving, over his cluelessness on how many houses he owned.

When the post was written, I could think of a number of push backs the Stumblin Bumblin McCain Campaign may go with, but pulling out the now-getting-dog-eared POW Card was not one of them, and that is showing far more problems with the campaign (and candidate) then the MSM will ever admit.

As we alluded to in our previous post, this is getting embarrassing.

The gaffes, misspeaks, and just plain ignorance are bubbling up, more-and-more.

This is now the second time in less than a week, the Stumblin Bumblin' John McCain Campaign is hiding their bathrobe-clad, Slim Jim-juice-drooling candidate behind his POW experience.

And, in a bizzaro-world way, McCain's "how many houses do I own" gaffe, was somewhat of a silver lining.

Had he not blurted that gem out, the Stumblin' Bumblin McCain Campaign would have had a different conflagration to deal with, their candidates endorsement of establishing a draft again.

Small favors, huh?

Maybe questions need to be asked, if he is still, some 40+years later, crippled by that awful experience, perhaps, then, he needs to be in a Vet hospital, and not on the campaign trail.

Or, is the campaign using the POW Card as code, for his age?

They can't, very well, come out, throw up their hands and shrug "It's just another "senior moment" guys ..."

And all this is happening in the Dog Days of August ... Deadsville on the campaign trial, with vacations, and such, and, especially this year, with the Olympics going on.

You, practically, have to light yourself on fire to get any possible coverage, typically.

Christ, what's going to happen next month, after the VP choices, after the conventions?

We'll need one of the stat counters, like they use in boxing, to keep count of the jabs/punches-thrown in a given round, to have any hope of getting a count on Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny's stumbles and bumbles.

When they go to the debates, they'll have to add an extra scoreboard, with a running count of McCain's flubs and miscues.

Vegas will have to start issuing Over/Unders on this.

In fact, just to hedge my bets, I'm putting a marker down, here

It won't surprise me, if at the Republican Convention, Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain flies into Minneapolis as the "presumptive nominee", but a wee bit of monkey business goes on, and Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain flies out of Minneapolis with a ailment, ironically, like those old Russian leaders used to get, when it was their time to go.
Then again, the GOP knows (thanks to the inhabitants of the Bush Grindhouse) that they are completely fucked in November, and they might as well let Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain absorb the drubbing - at least, that way, they won't have to deal with him in 2012, mounting, "one more time", a presidential campaign.

Bonus House of Mirrors Links

Architectural Digest Visits Senator and Mrs. John McCain

Brandon Friedman: John McCain Needs to Lay Off the POW Talk

Spencer Ackerman: Use It Tonight

Marc Ambinder: McCain Is To Houses What GWBH Was To Grocery Store Scanners?

Sam Stein: McCain Camp Plays POW Card On House Gaffe

"The insinuation, that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, doesn't know how many houses he has, is outrageous!"

Or: Looking A Gift House In The Mouth

Legendary was the Xanadu where Kubla Kahn decreed his stately pleasure dome - (with quotes in his voice) "Where twice five miles of fertile ground, with walls and towers were girdled 'round." (dropping the quotes) Today, almost as legendary is Florida's XANADU - world's largest private pleasure ground. Here, on the deserts of the Gulf Coast, a private mountain was commissioned, successfully built for its landlord. Here in a private valley, as in the Coleridge poem, "blossoms many an incense-bearing tree." Verily, "a miracle of rare device."

One hundred thousand trees, twenty thousand tons of marble, are the ingredients of Xanadu's mountain. Xanadu's livestock: the fowl of the air, the fish of the sea, the beast of the field and jungle - two of each; the biggest private zoo since Noah. Contents of Kane's palace: paintings, pictures, statues, the very stones of many another palace, shipped to Florida from every corner of the earth, from other Kane houses, warehouses, where they mouldered for years. Enough for ten museums - the loot of the world.
Oh ... Wait a minute ...

That's from 'Citizen Kane'...
She's a brick----house
Mighty might just lettin' it all hang out
She's a brick----house ...
No ...No ... That's The Commodores song...

Man, I getting all confused, and I don't have a staff I can refer it to, but I think it was Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain talking about how many houses he owns.

Expect, he couldn't remember how many houses he owns ...

He's back, walking around in the bathrobe again, mumbling incoherently, dripping the Slim Jim juice...

McCain unsure how many houses he owns

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said in an interview Wednesday that he was uncertain how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own.

"I think - I'll have my staff get to you," McCain told us in Las Cruces, N.M. "It's condominiums where - I'll have them get to you.

Well, if he's throwing it back to his staff, I expect, if it hasn't happened already, that Nicole Wallace will reprise her sterling defense of Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny, of his cheating at the Saddleback Show, and get all plump-in-the-face, firing out a "The insinuation, that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, doesn't know how many houses he has, is outrageous!"

Actually, I am pretty stunned that he had to throw it to his staff to come up with the answer.

Where was his Mini-Me?

Why wasn't Joe Lieberman standing behind Stumblin' Bumblin' John, to step up and answer the question correctly?

About the only defense I think they can come up with, is that the interview in which Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny gave this response, is that the interview must have taken place before 7:30AM, as in, unless he sleeps in, by his own admission, he's not exceptionally sharp that day.

Now, just in the not-to-distant past, Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain didn't know the difference between the Shiites and Sunnis, thought (at least twice), that Czechoslovakia was still a country, benighted as to the price of gas, confused Iraq-Pakistan Border, and, to mix things up a little, whored his wife out to a bunch of bikers.

So, he gets tossed a softball question of how many houses he owns, and he starts acting more befuddled than an Ed Wynn movie marathon.

If it hasn't crossed the line yet, it sure-as-hell is inches away, on how embarrassing this is, for the country, to have a presidential candidate that is such a stuttering fool.

Instead of hiring all the Rove Acolytes, maybe they should have reached back and brought in The Gipper's crew - at least they had the skill to hide his dementia until after he was elected.

Jesus, and we still have a little over two-months left ....

Bonus House Hunting Links

Michael Tomansky: Manna from heaven

Wonkette: John McCain Does Not Know How Many Baronial Estates He Has

John Cole: Coming to a Commercial Near You

Libby Spencer: McClueless

The Jed Report: Ooomph

John Aravosis (DC): Obama releases new ad over McCain "I don't know how many houses I own" gaffe

Jake Tapper and Sunlen Miller: People Who Live in Seven Glass Houses….

This Date ... On The Garlic

21 August 2007... On The Garlic

The Tuesday Ticker ... Pithy Randomness ... Part of that "All The Cloves Fit To Peel" Thing

Breaking News! Thompson Responds To FEC Charge, Claiming He's Now Moving Into "Testing Executive Privilege" Phase; Also Invokes "The Cheney Principle", Saying "He's Not Part of The Campaign"

21 August, 2006... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things President Bush Won’t Do “So Long As I Am President”

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

In The "Holy Cow" Dept; Denver Homeless Getting The Noonan "Full Detroit"

Not exactly 'My Man Godfrey', but not too far off, either.

Now, last week, that big chief Reagan Groupie, Peggy Noonan, used her column to sigh that she "didn't know the candidates" that there was a loss of "placeness" (see our "For Peggy Noonan, Next Stop, Willoughby!").

She also extended her foggy amnesia to the possible vice-presidents, and riffed this;

But part of me tugs for Tim Kaine of Virginia, because he has a wonderful American Man haircut, not the cut of the man in first but the guy in coach who may be the air marshal. He looks like he goes once every 10 days to Jimmy Hoffa's barber and says, "Gimme a full Detroit."
So, it appears the City of Denver was reading, and have been "placing" its' homeless into the barber's chair, to spiff them up with that "full Detroit", for the convention next week.

Homeless Get Cleaned Up With Free Haircuts For DNC
It seems to be a first -- don't move the homeless, clean them up. That was the work of one salon and the recipients didn't even seem to care if the Democrats were coming to town. Sly's Salon at 17th and Grant was offering free haircuts to the homeless Monday.

"To give them haircuts and make them all spiffed up for the Democratic National Convention, because they are part of our community as well," said Ghandia Gohnson, co-owner of Sly's Salon
All sounds nice, except there's also a competition, of sorts related to the homeless, in that, the city, apparently, would prefer they get their "full Detroits" and keep moving - out of town.

Some Homeless Believe A Crackdown Is On For DNC
One week before the Democratic National Convention, CBS4 cameras were rolling as police moved in on a group of homeless people. Some of the homeless believe police are cracking down because of the convention.

"Where are we going to hide our homeless during the convention? The short answer: We don't hide the homeless -- ever," Denver police and homeless advocates said in Denver's newspaper written by the homeless.

The city says it is encouraging the homeless to take part in the convention week activities for the public
"Encouraging the homeless to take part in the convention week activities ..."

I'm sure the DNC is thrilled to hear that

Yeah, right, just like our movie character, Godfrey Smith, some swank Dem convention goers will swing by and pick up some of these homeless and have the go to the swank parties as their guests.

Is that what the City of Denver has in mind?

And, are these free haircuts just for next week, during the time of the convention, or is it the beginning of a new, year-round, all-the-time, program?

You know, for all the hype, all the choreographed, coordinated "real moments", for all the obscene amounts of money required , and spent, for all the phony, hypocritical, compassion cities (and the convention itself) expend (such as, say, free haircuts for their homeless population), the two political parties should just go and rent out some studio back lots, and build their squeaky-clean sets for whatever their theme or visions are that given year, and spare all of us of this mockery.

I wonder, if the city is saying to its' homeless, as they uneasily slide into the barber chair, the same thing Irene says to Godfrey, regarding their pending marriage;
"Stand still, Godfrey, it'll all be over in a minute."

Bonus Shave-and-A-Haircut Links

Denver's homeless get free haircuts to look good for Obama and his Democrats

Denver's Homelessness Plan

Denver rids parks of homeless meals; charity says DNC is to blame

How Denver will hide its homeless during the Democratic convention

Hey buddy, can you spare a movie ticket?

Bonus Bonus

If you want to avoid the over-produce ending to the Olympics, and the dog-and-pony show that will the Democratic Convention next week, and huddle up with a tremendous, classic screwball comedy, that go and get 'My Man Godfrey' (and, if you can, since it's been colorized, try to get the original B&W).

It's hysterical, with wonderful turns by William Powell and Carole Lombard (and any movie with the gravel-voiced Eugene Pallette is usually a winner) and, as noted on IMDB, "This is the only movie to ever get Oscar nominations for writing, directing and all four acting awards without being nominated for Best Picture. It's also the only movie to ever get those six nominations and lose them all."

Here's the opening 10-minutes, if you need a preview;

My Man Godfrey (1936) 1of9

This Date ... On The Garlic

20 August 2007... On The Garlic

Three For Today ... The Selling of Iraq

Barry Crimmins with 'Down with the King!'

Sad News Today ... The Passing of Vocalist Jon Lucien

20 August 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Kilroy Was Here ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Top Ten Cloves: Things Condoleezza Rice Has Threatened Russia With To Honor Cease Fire

News Item: Rice: Military power is "not the way to deal in the 21st century"

10. Pay Rielle Hunter to name one of you the father of the baby

9. Either Putin or Medvedev will have to run as McCain's Vice President

8. If the Russians are going to fly their bombers near Alaska, then they have to put in equal time working on Ted Stevens' house

7. Start rumors that it was the two of you who behind the Manhunt donation to the McCain Campaign

6. Will get the Associated Press, like they did with Joe Lieberman, call the two of you "pricks"

5. Send in Michael Phelps to blind Russian soldiers with the reflections off his 8 Gold Medals

4. Meghan McCain will start writing children's books of the two of you, how her Daddy will kick your asses, if elected

3. Bus in Hillary Clinton's supporters, and have them dish out a "cathartic" cease-fire and withdrawal beating

2. Consequences will be to place Putin and Medvedev in the dreaded "McCain Cone of Silence"

1. Won't bother holding back Joe Biden, from tattooing "NATO" on your foreheads

Bonus Russia-Georgia Links

The Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School; Or: Shopping For A Legacy on Cyber Monday

The Night The Russians Rolled Into Georgia - McCain's August Anthem

Bob Drogin - Los Angeles Times: John McCain aide's dual roles intersect; Randy Scheunemann is a former lobbyist for Georgia, a country the candidate strongly supports in its crisis

John Perr: Presumptuous McCain Plays President on Georgia Conflict

Josh Marshall: His Grandiosity on Display

Cernig: Crisis? McCain Will Give You Crisis!

Lieberman's A Prick!

Yeah, yeah, I know ... What else is new ...

Unfortunately, it's not a case of the MSM taking the blinders off and getting hip.

H/T to Libby Spencer, for her "Fun with typos", who in turn, Libby H/Tipped Atrios for the pick-up.

AP writer Nedra Pickler, in her boilerplate filing on the breathless Vice President speculation that is running rampant out on the World Wide Web (check out Memeorandum for a peek), "Obama veep announcement expected in coming days" has this little gem (with our emphasis added);

His top contenders are said to include Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. Less traditional choices mentioned include former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge, an abortion-rights supporter, and Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, the Democratic vice presidential prick in 2000 who now is an independent.
God Bless'em ...

Lieberman just wasn't a prick in 2000, he's grown and built up his prickness with each, and every, day that has passed, to the point that he has become Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain's Mini-Me, and should be sitting on the red side of the aisle in the not-soon-enough future.

So, a memo to the rest of the MSM;

Add this to your style manuals ... Joe Lieberman, from this day, forward, should always be referenced to as a prick.

Look "prick" up in a dictionary, and, at least one of the definitions indicates "See Joe Lieberman"

MSNBC Doc-Bloc on pricks?

At least one segment, or episode, on Joe Lieberman.

End-of-the-year round-up on pricks?

Lieberman at the top of the list.

Bonus "Joe Lieberman - Prick" Links

Greg Sargent: Associated Press Gets One Right

Radio Listeners Diss McCain's Mini-Me

Garlictorial: Why Wait - Toss Lieberman Over To The GOP Now!

Biden Slaps Down McCain's Mini-Me

McCain's Mini-Me Hearts Hagee

Lieberman Officially Withdraws From 2000 Ticket; Prelude To Taking Bush Cabinet Post; With Rumsfeld Saying He's Staying, Appointment May Hinge On Cheney Indictment For Last Political Hoorah

Breaking News! Lieberman Pledges To Support “Whichever Party Elects Me”; Post-Debate Bombshell - Lieberman Announces Plan C – Will Run In All 50 States; Hires Nader For ‘Underdog” Experience; Pledges To Support “Whichever Party Elects Me”

This Date ... On The Garlic

19 August, 2005... On The Garlic

The Garlic: All The Cloves Fit To Peel will be on vacation August 19 - August 28; Take some time to catch up on our stories, or, use the links below to review some of the most popular and most viewed Garlic articles.

Monday, August 18, 2008

The Night The Russians Rolled Into Georgia - McCain's August Anthem

Well, he did bring it up, managed to squeeze it in, in one of his cheating responses during the Saddleback Show the other evening.

We also learned about his musical tastes, being that he was groovin' to Abba's 'Dancing Queen" before he was shot down - even though the song didn't come out until after he came home from Vietnam (maybe Abba was "supporting the troops", sending them demo tapes, or something).

Between the cheatin' at Saddleback thing ...and, of course, that Christmas Light from the sky, The Guard-and-the-Cross-in-the-Sand thing (which is only getting worse, now, bobsledding downhill for him), and this evening, having Keith Olbermann slam him on the ground, for all this and more, with a Special Comment, our "Cone of Silence" veteran, Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain probably could use a new tune.

So, as we have done so often here on The Garlic, we have come up with a signature song, McCain's August Anthem, if you will ... Maybe something they can fire up out in Minneapolis ...

It's an old classic, that went #1 when Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny limped home from the war, so he can, without fear of looking like a jackass again, cite this tune as something he listened to on the plane, or wherever.

Sing along, you may not want to admit it, but you know it.

The Night The Russians Rolled Into Georgia
He was on his way home in the Straight Talk Express
Been two weeks and Obama's at the beach on a rest
He's listenin' to Abba 'fore he went home to her
Randy Scheunemann said "Hello"
And he said "Hi, what's doin', Wo?"
"John, sit down, I got some bad news, it's gonna hurt"
He said "I'm your best lobbyist and you know that's right"
"But your young democracy ain't alone tonight"
"Since you been gone she's been seein' that Putin boy, John "
Well, he got mad 'n' he saw red and Randy said "John, don'tcha lose your head"
" 'cause to tell ya the truth, I been makin' a lot of money myself"

That's the night that the Russians rolled into Georgia
That's the night that McCain pretended to be President
Well, don't trust your soul to no K Street sleazy lobbyist
'cause all the lobbyists in the town's got money in their hands

Well, Randy got scared and left the bus
Walkin' on home 'cause he didn't know who to trust
See, Randy didn't have many friends and he'd just lost him one
McCain thought his democracy musta fallen down
So he went home and finally found
The only thing his campaign had left him, that video, The One

And he went off to Randy's house
A'skippin' through the backwoods quiet as a mouse
Came upon some dollar bills too small for Randy to take
He looked through the screen at the back-porch door
And he saw Randy lyin' on the floor
In a pile of loot and he started to shake

Well, the Adoring Media was a'makin' their rounds
So he belted out some bellicose just to flag 'em down
And a big-bellied anchor and said "What is Mr. President?"
And the Media said "Anti-Christ" in a make-believe trial
And slapped the McCain on the back with a smile
Said' supper's waitin' at home and I gotta get to it"

That's the night that the Russians rolled into Georgia
That's the night that McCain pretended to be President
Well, don't trust your soul to no K Street sleazy lobbyist
'cause all the lobbyists in the town's got money in their hands

Well, they smeared Obama before he could say
The war mongering he saw while on his way
At Andy's house and back that night was Schmidt's
And the cheatin' democracy was still hunkered down
And that's one lie that'll never be found
See, big Stevie Schmidt don't miss when he aims his smears

That's the night that the Russians rolled into Georgia
That's the night that McCain pretended to be President
Well, don't trust your soul to no K Street sleazy lobbyist

'cause all the lobbyists in the town's got money in their hands

If you need some help, like a Karaoke thing, here's the original

Vicki Lawrence - The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia

Bonus Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny Riffs

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving

McCain Waves The POW Flag

If He Really Wanted To Scare'em, He Would Have Named Big Daddy Lipscomb ...

Is John McCain Buggering Little Boys?

Does He Get To Keep The Bag Man?

Boy, I'd like to know what the Vegas odds were on this ... Or, of the various office pools, who had the square with August 18th (only 10 days after the 34th anniversary of Nixon's escape to avoid impeachment).

The Little Dictator Who Couldn't is stepping off his precariously-built stage.

Perhaps, even, with a Nixonian homage;

President Musharraf of Pakistan Resigns

Facing imminent impeachment charges, President Pervez Musharraf announced his resignation on Monday, after months of belated recognition by American officials that he had become a waning asset in the campaign against terrorism.

Mr. Musharraf said the governing coalition, which has pushed for impeachment, had tried to “turn lies into truths,” and finished his speech by raising his clenched fists chest high and declaring, “Long live Pakistan!”
Not exactly "I am not a crook", but, I suppose, he didn't want to be laughed out of the country.

Now, I'm sure it must of crossed his mind to fight the impeachment, stand strong, blah, blah, blah, but they wanted him gone, and, after this fight, and all the heavy lifting he's been doing rounding up the terrorists, Musharraf, likely, didn't have the energy to launch a second coup.

Perhaps the more pressing question to ask, is, does he get to keep the Bag Man?

While The Commander Guy played around in Afghanistan, and Iraq, they knew that they also had to do something about Pakistan.

So, rather then open up a third front, they took an "option", putting down, more-or-less, a marker, and, instead, opened up the coffers to the tune of millions-upon-millions - in cash, directly to Musharraf and his military thugs.

Spencer Ackerman had the scoop on this last Fall;

U.S. Aid to Musharraf is Largely Untraceable Cash Transfers
In fact, however, a considerable amount of the money the U.S. gives to Pakistan is administered not through U.S. agencies or joint U.S.-Pakistani programs. Instead, the U.S. gives Musharraf's government about $200 million annually and his military $100 million monthly in the form of direct cash transfers. Once that money leaves the U.S. Treasury, Musharraf can do with it whatever he wants. He needs only promise in a secret annual meeting that he'll use it to invest in the Pakistani people. And whatever happens as the result of Rice's review, few Pakistan watchers expect the cash transfers to end.
What a difference millions of dollars make, on the big global billboard.

Rather than just be some chaotic, banana republic, Musharraf got to hang out the shingle that had the words "Democracy" scratched on it, and "Partners in the Global War Against Terrorism", even, if, from behind the shingle, Musharraf was just giving it a nod-and-a-wink.

Speculation is high on where he lands, with some of it on that Saudi Arabia is going provide the Mohammad Reza Pahlavi Memorial Exile Suite.

Cernig, over on Crooks and Liars, noted that;
The other interesting question is “what will Mushie do next?” Exile seems likeliest and there have been rumors that the US, which has long backed the former dictator, would offer him asylum. But it appears that the Saudis have stepped in, as major mediators of the resignation deal, and so Musharraf will probably retire there. Which is ironic, in that it will put the man who was ultimately in charge of the intelligence agency that was pulling Al Qaeda’s strings prior to (and post) 9/11 in the country that furnished most of the hijackers - and both Musharraf and the Saudi rulers are staunch Bush allies.
If it is Saudi Arabia, Musharraf is going to need a gated community, with impeccable security, and, at least, a two-bedroom crib - one for himself, the other for all his baggage and bad karma.

The Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School currently is running its' classes for a bunch of frisky Russians and Georgians, so the Neocon Nitwits, perhaps, only gives this a cursory glance.

But not Larisa Alexandrovna.

Pakistan has been a Looney Tunes powder keg for quite some time

In her post, "Serious crisis in Pakistan (crickets in DC)", Alexandrovna warns;
Forget the Russian-Georgian conflict for a moment. Forget Iraq for a moment. Forget everything for one moment and understand, that if Pakistan explodes into a power struggle, that struggle/conflict will be the match that lights a world war of epic proportions. A war that we are not equipped to deal with anymore. So while our entire nation is drunk on election scandal after scandal, and while our entire nation is being bled dry of finances and human treasure, no one - NO ONE - is watching this crisis as it unfolds. They are all too busy playing at politics to care and they have already long ago removed any qualified intelligence expert on Pakistan from their post. We know very well that this administration replaced qualified people with political sock-puppets who are now in positions to fuck things up even more, but certainly not to understand the brewing world crisis.

To be clear, I loathe Musharraf and want him removed from office. But right now, any change, big or small in the region is going to be a catastrophe. A change of ISI-backed Musharraf is going to be an epic catastrophe.
Another "gift" the Bush Grindhouse leaves the next (Obama) administration.

Bonus Bon Voyage Links

The Independent: Now Saudis offer dignified solution for Musharraf; Beleaguered President is given a lifeline to avoid impeachment

Brilliant at Breakfast: Because in Pakistan, their Constitution still matters

emptywheel: Dick Blows Pakistan

This Date ... On The Garlic

18 August 2007... On The Garlic

Oxymoron of the Day: Ayad Allawi and his 'A Plan for Iraq'

Retro Garlic ... That Madcap McCain Is At It - Again!

18 August 2006... On The Garlic

Breaking News! Cheney Says Vote For Lamont Helps “New Solar System-Types”; Bush To Place New Planets On Terror Watch List; No Liquid Fly Rules In Place; President Calls Them “Intergalactic-Fascists.” Says Iran May Be Continuing To Expand Its Influence

Top Ten Cloves: Things That Will Be Missed With No More Oscar Night Swag Bags

18 August, 2005... On The Garlic

Possible Break In Crawford Impasse: President Mulling Humming To Peace Mom; Can Keep Normal Vacation Schedule; Plans Centered On Tunes, Earphones, iPod or Radio

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Rush Limbaugh Thinks Mainstream Media Is Glomming

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Like Sands Through The Hour Glass, These Are The Cross Stories of My Campaign

Man, this Saddleback thing, it seems to be generating more questions than the "mirror-mirror" format used last evening.

To follow-up on our just posted "Blazing Saddlebacks" , there's, yes, another brouhaha in the making.

As we noted, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain went into hyper overdrive with his POW stories last evening ("McCain fired out the old POW tales as if there were a panel of judges, who would score them based on his detail and animation."), telling one in which, on Christmas, a guard drew a cross in the sand and he and McCain stood there silently, two Christians in worship.

All so touching, yes?

Well, hold off on the hankies, as the DNA of this little tale is taking more flak than that which knocked our Stumblin' Bumblin' Fly Boy out of the Vietnamese skies.

It appears, possibly, that Stumblin' Bumblin' John may have lifted the story from Russian author (how ironic this is) Alexander Solzhenitsyn!

McCain's "Cross In Dirt" Story Questioned

The source of that story about Solzhenitsyn is The Sign of the Cross, Fr. Luke Veronis, In Communion, issue 8, Pascha 1997 but clearly the story was known before 1997 for Fr. Veronis to cite it here. Update - the source is Solzhenitsyn's Gulag Archipelago, published in the West in 1973.

So, is this story just more carefully-crafted Republican propaganda, one more "powerful story" intended to trick the Christians into voting for them, so they can give ever-greater tax cuts to the rich and subsidies (and drilling leases) to oil companies?

And in 2000 McCain told the story - saying it was a different prisoner.

Looks like McCain really WAS telling a whopper to get votes. And he's been caught red-state-handed.
Bob Cesca asks;
Weird. Given all of his experiences in the Hanoi Hilton, why would he borrow a story from someone else? Oh. That's right. He's McCain -- he'll do or say anything to win an election.
As Jed Lewison points out;
As for whether or not there's precedent for McCain fabricating POW stories, consider the fact that he claimed that he became a fan of ABBA's Dancing Queen before his capture (Dancing Queen came out two years after his release), and consider his convenient swapping of the Green Bay Packers with the Pittsburgh Steelers in another POW story when he was in eastern PA.

There may be a simple explanation of this - Cindy found it on the internet.

Otherwise ...

Oh Boy! ... Put on your raincoats, for it will be flying all over the place over the next few days.

Bonus "John McCain: Home of the Whopper" Links

Michael D: McCain’s Borrowed “Cross in the Sand” Story

dday: If A Nose Grows In The Forest...

Throwing Stones: McCain lies, contradicts himself on Cross story. With evidence

Calouste: No "cross in the sand" for McCain in 1973 [Updated x2] Story unlikely to be true

Blazing Saddlebacks

To borrow and take liberties with the Mel Brooks classic;

"How 'bout more questions, Mr. Warren ..."

"I'd say you had enough! ..."
In a nutshell, Obama, and Rick Warren, at the much ballyhooed Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency, seemed comfortable with each other and engaged in honest conversation (more so than "answer this" in thirty-seconds, or less, much as in the "Lightening Round" Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain had), perhaps on more of a considered, thoughtful level, a sort of low key "My Dinner with Andre", minus the food.

Something that could, just as easily, been broadcast on PBS, rather then the cable channels.


Pure Faux News, screaming kirons, and equally empty rhetoric.

Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny teed up every-and-all Right Wing Freak Show/GOP talking points and whacked them around the church.

The only thing missing was having the Dead Campaign Express bus parked, on-stage, behind him.

Warren didn't seem as interested, via his body language, in getting in an intellectual discussion with Arizona John, tossing the questions to Stumblin Bumblin' Johnny, like sardines to a trained seal.

If you didn't know before the Saddleback event, you knew it a few minutes into the McCain segment;
McCain fired out the old POW tales as if there were a panel of judges, who would score them based on his detail and animation.

He blustered the ever-growing-tiresome babble about chasing Osama bin Laden to the gates of hell (because "he knows how", he assured us; Surely, that gives the evanglists a thrill up the leg, no doubt, the basic, core, Good vs. Evil bone).

This boast, from a man who says he needs to sleep-in, in the morning, to be sharp.

If you are gay or lesbian under a McCain administration?

Second-class citizens, "My Friends" ... If I have to, I'll get a Constitutional Amendment, so get lost ...

Stem Cell Research?

Stumblin' Bumblin' John wants us to wait another 20-or-30-years, for Skin Cell research to blossom.

And, if you are a moderate or liberal member of the Supreme Court, specifically, Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer, David Souter and John Paul Stevens?

Keep a suitcase packed, McCain, without hesitation, expressed his disgust for you.

As to audience reactions, applause, standing ovations, let's not lose site of the fact that Saddleback Church is in the heart of Orange County, in Southern California, where fountains there bubble and froth the semen of Ronald Reagan and John Wayne (for whom the airport is named after).

You could stand in the middle of Los Alamitos Boulevard throwing rocks all day and not hit a Democrat.

Cone of Silence or Coneheads?

While the MSM and Talkin Heads are gushing on how great McCain did, how he won the evening, it was anything but.

After ripping off a Top Ten Cloves List this morning, around the "Code of Silence" that Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny was said to be tucked away in, so as not to hear the questions and answers, numerous posts have been bubbling up today that the "Code of Silence" was a Code of Scam ... That Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain wasn't even in the building, but in a limo (equipped, possibly, with a television ... Hmmm);
FiveThirtyEight: Pastor Warren Contradicts Self on 'Cone of Silence'

furiousxxgeorge: No Cone of Silence
Having watched the telecast, and hearing Warren's references to "The Cone of Silence", I don't recall seeing any cut-away shots of McCain, sitting in a booth, sweating, ala Herbert Stempel on the gameshow "Twenty-One".

No shots of a janitor's closet, or non-descript backstage door, perhaps with a handmade, handwritten sign hanging on it, indicating "Cone of Silence".

No ice cream cones, no snow cones, no orange roadwork cones ...No Coneheads in the audience

No shots of any type of cones, whatsoever.

And, check this post out.

Cathy, from Cincinnati noticed, during the broadcast, a rather odd, but telling exchange, seemingly giving a tip that Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny knew the questions in advance.

And for those of you who need a more authoritative, MSM voice, even Andre Mitchell brought up the prospects of McCain's cheating.

Now, just a few hours ago, Rev. Warren vouches for McCain (which in doing so, he admits that his opening, on-air, statement of McCain being in the "Cone of Silence" was not true);
But at 8 p.m. ET, as Warren said that, McCain was actually not in the building. He was just leaving his hotel, with his motorcade arriving at the church nearly a half hour into the event. A. Larry Ross, a spokesman for Warren, says McCain then went directly into the holding room they dubbed the “cone of silence” (in reality, a room with no TV or audio).

When asked if McCain overheard anything, Charlie Black, a McCain adviser who was with him at the time, told CNN: "We were in motorcade until 5:30 p.m. ET; then a holding room in another building with no TV."

Warren said, “I trust the integrity of both” candidates, and said he “knew they would abide by the rules.” He joked McCain may not have been in the cone of silence, but “he was in the cone of a Secret Service motorcade”.
Oh ... Charlie Black is vouching for McCain ...

Perhaps in the same way Charlie Black vouched for Ahmad Chalabi?

That just wraps it all up ...

I guess we don't have to question this again, at all ...

If this turns out to be the case, that McCain, and/or someone on his campaign staff, was taking notes, then the whole event was nothing but an overblown, self-flagellating, farce.

And for all the hype, in just this, sort-of, first head-to-head match, it showed how truly frightening it would be to have McCain as the President, of anything, let alone the country.

Yes, another shout out;

Help Me Mr. Wizard!

Bonus Jesus Saves, But McCain Wins Links

Transcript: Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency

Jay McDonough: Saddleback, Schmaddleback

Creature: Saddleback Spin

John Cole: High Comedy at Saddleback Church