Saturday, February 28, 2009

Sweet And Dandy

Well, if you want to go by the title of this post, it does not describe the day we had here at The Garlic.

It was a day of trouble on the homefront, the Aunt we care for taking a tumble early this morning, though, seemingly okay from it, nonetheless, meant a excursion to the hospital.

Surprisingly, by the ER standards we have experienced on prior runs, we were in-and-out in the snap of the fingers - only a little over 2-hours! ... And she comes out of it with a bruised toe, and a, for lack of its' proper name, a medical shoe (hard sole and velcro straps), that will keep her toes/foot from bending, the theory being it will heal faster or better.

So, that become the bulk of my day, wiping out the carnival of creativity I awoke with, and planned to get posted today.

Therefore, we give you an old gem, one that has a good, jammin' Saturday night feel to it.

Sweet And Dandy - Toots And The Maytals

Good Post Alert: Must Read Al Giordano's "The New and Improved "Us vs. Them" Narrative"

There's a new sheriff in town!

The always prescient, always digging, Al Giordano speaking on President Obama's YouTube delivery today;

"The New and Improved "Us vs. Them" Narrative"

Here's the money quote:

"I realize that passing this budget won't be easy. Because it represents real and dramatic change, it also represents a threat to the status quo in Washington. I know that the insurance industry won't like the idea that they'll have to bid competitively to continue offer ing Medicare coverage, but that's how we'll help preserve and protect Medicare and lower health care costs for American families. I know that banks and big student lenders won't like the idea that we're ending their huge taxpayer subsidies, but that's how we'll save taxpayers nearly $50 billion and make college more affordable. I know that oil and gas companies won't like us ending nearly $30 billion in tax breaks, but that's how we'll help fund a renewable energy economy that will create new jobs and new industries. I know these steps won't sit well with the special interests and lobbyists who are invested in the old way of doing business, and I know they're gearing up for a fight as we speak. My message to them is this:

"'So am I.'

"The system we have now might work for the powerful and well-connected interests that have run Washington for far too long, but I don’t. I work for the American people. I didn’t come here to do the same thing we’ve been doing or to take small steps forward, I came to provide the sweeping change that this country demanded when it went to the polls in November."
I could copy it here, but better you go read it, as Al lays out who Obama is aiming at, with a laser beam, red-dot, sight, and how things will play out.

The Al Giordano's "The New and Improved "Us vs. Them" Narrative"

Oh yeah ... 

Here's the President, also;

2/28/09: Your Weekly Address

This Date ... On The Garlic

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Last Nights' Dress Boy Sticks His Neck Out

Sticks and Stones Will Break My Bones ...

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28 February 2006... On The Garlic

Bush To "Kick Back" For 45-Days; Bush To Tackle First Lady's "To-Do" List During Port Review

Top Law Schools Launch Admissions War

Top Ten Cloves: Last Minute Things President Bush Did Before Leaving For India

28 February 2005... On The Garlic

Bush Launches No Pharmaceutical Company Left Behind; Hundreds To Be Laid Off In FDA Reorg

Sirius To Broadcast NASCAR, Other Major Visual Events

New Ken Burns Follow-Up To Baseball; Spotlight On Steroids

Top Ten Cloves: People Who Wish This Year Was A Leap Year

Friday, February 27, 2009

M'm! M'm! Good!


We thought we hit the top of the curve (or, the bottom, depending on how you look at it), when we posted the detailed view of Spam (the kind you eat), back last November.

Meg Marco, over on The Consumerist posted this yesterday;

The "Worst Food Product Ever" May Have Been Found

Pork Brains In Milk Gravy. Could it be the worst food product ever? It does have 1170% of your daily cholesterol per serving. Mmmm

Can you imagine working on the production line of this place?

But wait, there is a competitor to Armour!

Rose Brand Pork Brains w/ Milk Gravy (5 oz.)

And they all belong (including Spam) in a category that's called "Potted Meat Food Products"

And there is a "Tribute Page" to such!

The Potted Meat Food Product Tribute Page
A Call To Armour

Fairly soon, however, the line was picked up by a representative named Bob. I told him I had some questions about one of their products, specifically, Potted Meat Food Product.

"Go ahead," Bob said. There was no fear or hesitation in his voice; I could tell that he was well-versed in Potted Meat Food Product lore.

"Okay," I said, "One of the ingredients is listed as `partially defatted cooked pork fatty tissue'. What exactly is partially defatted fatty tissue?"

"Well," Bob replied, "There's a certain amount of tissue that holds fat. This tissue has the fat rendered out of it, and it's used for flavoring and seasoning." He further compared it to "cracklins", which I've seen in the supermarket. They frighten me.

"Okay, my next question is, since Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue is the only one specifically labeled as being cooked, does that mean that the other ingredients aren't cooked?"

"Oh, no," he assured me, "it's all cooked before it goes into the can."
Okay, there you go ... You can run out to the supermarket and get your choice Potted Meat product, because "it's all cooked before it goes into the can."

And there is, not necessarily so suprising, a Wikipedia entry for it;
Cultural consumption

In the Southern United States, canned pork brain in gravy can be purchased for consumption as food. This form of brain is often fried with scrambled eggs to produce the famous "Eggs n' Brains".[1] They are part of the menu in many family owned restaurants throughout the region.

The brain of animals also features in French cuisine, in dishes such as cervelle de veau and tête de veau.

Similar delicacies from around the world include Mexican tacos de sesos made with cattle brain as well as squirrel brain in the US South.[2] The Anyang tribe of Cameroon practiced a tradition in which a new tribal chief would consume the brain of a hunted gorilla while another senior member of the tribe would eat the heart.[3] Indonesian cuisine specialty in Minangkabau cuisine also served beef brain in a gravy coconut milk named gulai otak (beef brain curry). Roasted or fried goat brain is eaten in the south of India and some parts of northern India. In Cuban cuisine, "brain fritters" made by coating pieces of brain with bread crumbs and then frying them.

In India, certain restaurants serve brain as bheja fry, literally brain fry. It's cooked in its own fat along with standard base used in curry.
And, what are the risk of such culinary treats?
Fat and cholesterol

Consuming the brain and other nerve tissue of animals is not without risks. The first problem is that the makeup of the brain is 60% fat due to large quantities of myelin (which itself is 70% fat) insulating the axons of neurons.[4] As an example, a 140 g can of "pork brains in milk gravy", a single serving, contains 3500 milligrams of cholesterol, 1170% of the USRDA.[5]
We'll be waiting, probably coming out in the World Weekly News, of the first "suicide by pork brains in milk gravy".

Or a Reality Show.

Bonus Riffs

Forget About Tuesday, Cash On The Barrelhead Today, Wimpy!

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Tomatoes Are Safe Again

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Spinach Industry Plans To Overcome E. Coli Setback

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Problems Julia Child Had As An OSS Spy

Clinton Joins Food Pyramid Protest ... Says Won't Deter Child Obesity; Poll Shows Public Prefers The Sphinx

Egypt Protests New U.S. Use of Pyramids ... Says Mocking Historic Culture and Islam; Call for American Food Boycott

Look! ... Up In The Sky! .. It's A Bird! ... It's A Plane! ...It's A $400K Comic Book!

If Antiques Roadshow hasn't gotten people rooting around in their attics, this story today will likely get a few people off their rumps to start digging;

'Unrestored' copy of first Superman comic book for sale

Why is this comic book so unique?

"Of the 100 existing copies, 80 percent have been restored, but people want an untouched copy," Fishler said. The book is listed in "fine" condition, a six on the 10-point rating scale.

"It's the Holy Grail of comic books," Fishler said.

Co-created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the comic book first appeared on newsstands for 10 cents a copy in June 1938.

Nearly 12 years later, a young boy on the West Coast found himself in a secondhand book store, where he persuaded his dad to loan him 35 cents to buy the comic book.

Until 1966, the owner forgot about the book, which was hidden in his mother's basement. Since then, he's been holding onto it, hoping to see it increase in value, Fishler said. He has not been disappointed.

"There has been a lot of interest shown on the book in the collectibles market," said Fishler, who predicted the comic book will sell for about $400,000. But, he added, no minimum price has been set for the auction, so "whatever it sells for, it sells for.
Not a bad investment - 35-cents turning into $400,000.

We should be so lucky.

You can go HERE to make your bid

There's only 36 bids in so far, with $200,000 the top price at this point.

Our only venture riffing on D.C. Comics ...

Top Ten Cloves: Difficulties DC Comics' Batman May Have Fighting Osama bin Laden

This Date ... On The Garlic ...

27 February 2008... On The Garlic

The Day After ... Around The Debate-Go-Round

27 February 2007... On The Garlic

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27 February 2006... On The Garlic

The New Strategy For Winning Olympic Medals; Bush Says Would Be Mistake To Pull Out Olympic Team

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Dubai Ports World Asked For 45-Day Delay In Taking Over U.S. Ports

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Too Perfect! ... Jindal Jabberwocky II

Oh, this is just too rich.

This is one of those things, you can't make-up.

Off-screen voice: Governor, you just had the biggest meltdown of your career, on national television, so what are you going to do?

Bobby Jindal: I'm going to DisneyWorld!

Holy Cow!

Jindal's office says the governor and his family leave for the Orlando vacation resort today
After giving one of the biggest speeches in his time as a politician, Gov. Bobby Jindal is heading to Disney World.

Jindal's office says the governor and his family leave for the Orlando vacation resort today.

The vacation comes one day after Jindal gave his first televised speech to the nation, offering the Republican Party's response to President Barack Obama's address to Congress.

This, pretty much, guarantees a merciless skewering on Saturday Night Live, if they're on this weekend.

Who is this guys' staff?

For one, David Corn is not on it;
There was only one phone call Bobby Jindal needed to make on Wednesday--and that was to Jay Leno.


Jindal ought to steal a move from Bill Clinton and seek salvation on Leno's set. In 1988, Bill Clinton, then a little-known Arkansas governor, delivered the keynote address at the Democrats' presidential convention. It was a horribly boring speech. He droned on for what seemed like forever. And when he began his summation and said "in conclusion," the audience cheered. He immediately became a national punchline. But Clinton moved fast to stop the bleeding. He joked with reporters about his terrible performance, and he quickly booked himself a spot on Johnny Carson's show. (For you youngsters, Carson hosted The Tonight Show before Leno.) Sitting next to Johnny--after Carson gave him a very, very, very long introduction--Clinton engaged in self-ribbing and made good sport of his abysmal performance. Four years later, he was elected president of the United States.

Hope the cell phone connection is good from Disney, there, Bobby.

And, he's going to need to be making some calls.

Anchors Aweigh ... And Awash

It seems that Jindal's Hurricane Katrina story is (was) one of the fish that got away.

Jindal's Katrina Story: A Tall Tale?
The evidence continues to grow that the story Bobby Jindal told Tuesday night -- about how he backed a tough-talking sheriff's efforts to rescue Katrina victims, government red-tape be damed -- was, how to put it ... made up.


But there are several pieces of evidence that suggest this just didn't happen. Nothing, to be sure, that definitively proves the story was made up. But more than enough to declare it highly suspicious.


The implication here is that Jindal talked to the sheriff after the fact, not that he was in his office during the moment of crisis.
Read all of Zachary Roth's post, it is fascinating

Melissa McEwan gives a shout out on it with "Pardon Me, Mr. Governor, But I Do Believe Your Pants Are on Fire*", while Steve Benen raises an eyebrow with "ABOUT THAT BOAT STORY..."

And, The Lava Flows ...

Jindal, in his dissing of Volcano Monitoring, managed to raise the dander of a Nobel Prize winner.

Paul Krugman;
So what did Bobby Jindal choose to ridicule in this response to Obama last night? Volcano monitoring, of course.

And leaving aside the chutzpah of casting the failure of his own party’s governance as proof that government can’t work, does he really think that the response to natural disasters like Katrina is best undertaken by uncoordinated private action? Hey, why bother having an army? Let’s just rely on self-defense by armed citizens.

The intellectual incoherence is stunning. Basically, the political philosophy of the GOP right now seems to consist of snickering at stuff that they think sounds funny. The party of ideas has become the party of Beavis and Butthead.

Not only this, but he's hit one into Mommy Moose'salley;

Alaskans fume over Jindal volcano-monitoring gripe

Something tells me this is going to haunt the Louisianna Governor for some time.

The Dittohead Umbrella

The biggest dittohead of them all is lying down the law.

Limbaugh Defends Jindal, Warns Conservatives They Are ‘Making A Real Mistake
LIMBAUGH: [T]he people on our side are really making a mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal on the basis of style. Because if you think — people on our side I’m talking to you — those of you who think Jindal was horrible, you think — in fact, I don’t ever want to hear from you ever again. … I’ve spoken to him numerous times, he’s brilliant. He’s the real deal.
Wonkette: Limbaugh Orders Republicans To Leave Bobby Jindal Alone

The Politico: Limbaugh still loves Jindal

Say What!

The Queen of the Flying Monkeys, Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin has her radar on, full bore;

"Helen Thomas has been gabbing with a film crew this morning, according to Washington Times White House correspondent Christina Bellantoni.

Bellantoni just posted this on Twitter:
“Bobby Jindal was ‘pitiful,’ Helen Thomas tells film crew, right before making a ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ crack.”

Thanks for the Offer Guys, But I'll Handle This Myself

Wonkette: Radio Host Forces Michael Steele To Give ‘Slum Love’ To Bobby Jindal

Jason Zengerle: What's Michael Steele Trying to Prove?

Think Progress: EXCLUSIVE: Tancredo Says Jindal’s Speech Was The ‘Last Nail In The Coffin’ For His Presidential Ambitions

The Old Ax - What Goes Up, Must Come Down

NYT: Governor Jindal, Rising G.O.P. Star, Plummets After Speech

Robert Stein at Connecting The Dots: Jumping on Jindal

Down With Tyranny: Jindal Won't Do Much For The GOP But His Shockingly Inept Speech Has Made A Star Out Of Kenneth The Page

Damezol: Catch a Falling Star: Gov. Bobby Jindal's Response to Obama Infuriates Republicans, Gets Jindal Compared to Kenneth the Page

Bonus Riffs

Jindal Jabberwocky

Bobby, Get Your Gun ...

Maybe If They Exorcise The Money, First ....

Paging Linda Blair ...

Slow Go For Bookwriting Joe

In his especially long, dragged-out 16th minute, Joe The Book Writer (formerly, Joe The Plumber) is finding that once glowing spotlight, dimming into the horizon.

Joe the Author, Plumbing New Lows in Interest

About 11 people wandered into the rows of seats set up hopefully in the basement of a downtown Border's bookstore to hear Joe speak. Joe addressed them from behind a lectern and with a microphone, but that seemed unnecessarily formal.


It's fair to say Joe's appearance at Borders at 18th and L streets wasn't eagerly anticipated. People just kind of shuffled over when Joe strode in with Thomas N. Tabback, the co-author of "Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream." Annie Hickman, a young woman whom Wurzelbacher called "sweetie" during a brief Q&A, was browsing when the PA announced that Joe was in the house. "I'm missing pottery class for this," she said.

Lawyer Alana Hecht was curious. "I was upstairs reading 'Dreams From My Father,' " Obama's memoir. "It's just fate. Who could leave when this is happening?" She and Hickman laughed. Washington, such a weird town.


Wurzelbacher says he's still no fan of Obama, but confessed that he never liked McCain all that much, either. Nor has he cared for the politicians he's met on Capitol Hill. "Liars and thieves," he called them.


Wurzelbacher was scheduled to speak and sign books for three hours, but the Joe Show was over in 55 minutes. Total copies of "Joe the Plumber" sold: five.
Not exactly "Walking the Talk", is it?

To bad he can't walk back laughing at Obama's speech, as he did.

Steve Benen asked, in his "JOE THE AFTERTHOUGHT" "So, why is his take on a presidential address worthy of a piece at the Politico? Your guess is as good as mine."

At least one of the flying monkeys is calling for the PartyofNoicans to lose this Joe Schmoe, that he's dragging down the party, blurring their true identity, you know, as humble, middle-class worker bees;

From Patrick Ruffini's "The Joe-the-Plumberization of the GOP"
Conservatives should not need Joe the Plumber to prove their middle class bona fides. We are naturally the party of the middle, and we don't need gimmicks to prove it. Demographically, Democrats rely on being the party of the upper sixth and the lower third, while Republicans tend to do better with everyone in between. When we start losing the middle class and the suburbs, we lose big like we did in 2008.

Put another way, Republicans thrive as the party of normal Americans -- the people in the middle culturally and economically. This is true of our leadership as well -- we have a history of nominating figures who came first from outside politics. Our base is the common-sense voter in the middle who bought a house she could afford and didn't lavishly overspend in good times and who is now subsidizing the person who didn't.

Thankfully, Steve M, over on No More Mister Nice Blog, dispatches that claim.

That's a load of crap. Right-wingers embraced Joe not because we made them feel defensive but because they've deluded themselves into believing that they're the natural champions of (cue Sarah Palin) wearers of "the Carhartts and the steel-toed boots," of country-music fans and NASCAR fans and huntin', fishin', good ol' boys ...


Ruffini even expresses this nonsense himself, declaring that "Republicans thrive as the party of normal Americans -- the people in the middle culturally and economically." (Even though the last three Republican presidents were a Hollywood millionaire and two zillionth-generation Connecticut-born preppies, Patrick?)
Unfortuantely, for the PartyofNoicans, Bobby Jindal's crash-and-burn the other evening benefits Joe The Book Writer.

Like they say in boxing, you gotta knock out the champ, and Jindal didn't even get out of the first round.

And with CPAC setting up it's toxic tent this weekend, there's bound to be someone there to offer Joe The Book Writer a 17th minute.

Bonus Joe Schmoe Riffs

Libby Spencer: Joe the Whatever

Melissa McEwan: Poor Joe

Scott Whitlock: Washington Post Dismisses Joe the Plumber as 'Leftover Artifact' From 2008

For Joe The Plumber

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Rush Limbaugh Can Get Woman Not To Hate Him

News Item: Limbaugh To Convene A ‘Female Summit’ To Figure Out Why Women Hate Him

10. Call for an Operation Chaos Riot - Against you, In your own radio studio

  9. Voluntarily take yourself off Armed Forces Radio

  8. Stop defending Corporate America

  7. Drop the act, and let his innner progressive liberal Democrat come out

  6. Go out and actually win a Nobel Peace Prize

  5. Start dating a transexual

  4. Call off your dogs and start crticizing Bobby Jindal

  3. Recant for playing up the "Barack The Magic Negro" - Produce and play "Rush The Ignorant Radio Host"

  2. Start sharing his stash of drugs

  1. Free the Dittoheads! ... Pull a William Shatner/SNL/Star Trek/Get A Life on them

Bonus Bonehead Rush Riffs

Rush Announces Female Listener Summit to Discuss EIB Gender Gap

Jill on Brilliant at Breakfast: Maybe it's because he's a misogynistic, soulless hatemonger who vacations as a sex tourist

Jill Miller Zimon: Rush Limbaugh Calls A Women’s Summit To Research His Gender Gap

We Wonder If Rush Lobbied For This, The Way He Did For The Nobel?

Jesus, It Sounded Like A Violation of the Rico Act!

This Weeks' Poll - Don't Forget To Vote ... Help Obama Spend Some Money!

Just a reminder, for you to take a moment and throw a vote in to help President Obama decide what to do the Stimulus money the GOP Governors are thumbing there noses at ... 

If they don't want it, we have some suggestions of what can be done with it ... 

Go over to the left column and make your selection

This Date ... On The Garlic

28 February 2008... On The Garlic

Yes, Extra Pillows Will Be Needed ...

Top Ten Cloves: If Monica Goodling's Wedding Plays Out Like Her Last Job

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll February 17 - February 25, 2008 ...With so much confusing talk about them, most people think Superdelegates are ...

26 February 2007... On The Garlic

Minced Garlic - Special Comment by Keith Olbermann: Condi goes too far

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The Oscars Last Evening

26 February 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Bobby, Get Your Gun ...

Anything you can do,
I can do better.
I can do anything
Better than you.
If this keeps up, Leonard Pinth Garnell is going to need that Universal Healthcare package, to deal with his exhaustion.

Two big duds in the same week.

And, I don't believe Tweety mumbling a plaintive "Oh God" as Bobby Jindal came to the podium, was the only one to do so ... There had to be, throughout Jindals' GOP Talking Points rehash, titled "Americans Can Do Anything", thousands of others.

Numerous folks are comparing Bobby Jindal's rebuttal to Obama last evening with Kenneth, from "30 Rock".

Fine, however, for me, it played out much more like an old SNL skit, a "Bad Politics" delivered dead-center in the strike zone for Garnell to seeth as a "delicious disaster".

Boy, if the message we are supposed to believe from it, that the Republican's "Can Do" spirit is better than the Democrat's "Can Do" spirit, man are the Republicans so tone deaf, and so, so fucking lost.

I mean, when your offical rebuttal to Obama's Not-A-State-of-the-Union-State-of-the-Union Address is Hurricane Katrina, and a racist sheriff .... 
Let me tell you a story. 

During Katrina, I visited Sheriff Harry Lee, a Democrat and a good friend of mine. When I walked into his makeshift office I'd never seen him so angry. He was yelling into the phone: 'Well, I'm the Sheriff and if you don't like it you can come and arrest me!' I asked him: 'Sheriff, what's got you so mad?' He told me that he had put out a call for volunteers to come with their boats to rescue people who were trapped on their rooftops by the floodwaters. The boats were all lined up ready to go - when some bureaucrat showed up and told them they couldn't go out on the water unless they had proof of insurance and registration. I told him, 'Sheriff, that's ridiculous.' And before I knew it, he was yelling into the phone: 'Congressman Jindal is here, and he says you can come and arrest him too!' Harry just told the boaters to ignore the bureaucrats and start rescuing people.
From Joan Walsh;
But Jindal is making no sense: He's lying about Obama's plans (there will be no government-run health care) and his Katrina stories are the perfect symbolism for the current GOP: They'll rescue wealthy bankers from oblivion, but leave low-income black people on roofs. Also, Politico caught it first, to my knowledge: The sheriff Jindal lionized in his speech, Harry Lee, is most famous for gruesome racial profiling during his tenure as Jefferson County's top cop. His Wikipedia page has all the details.

Jindal, among other distortions, dissed the monitoring of volcanos;
While some of the projects in the bill make sense, their legislation is larded with wasteful spending. It includes $300 million to buy new cars for the government, $8 billion for high-speed rail projects, such as a "magnetic levitation" line from Las Vegas to Disneyland, and $140 million for something called "volcano monitoring." Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington, D.C.
Well, he might have well mocked the rebuilding of the levees in New Orleans.

Nate Silver has the 411 on this, in his "Jindal Versus the Volcano";
Before the cataclysmic eruption, roughly one million people lived in the region around Mount Pinatubo, including about 30,000 American military personnel and their dependents at the two largest U.S. military bases in the Philippines--Clark Air Base and Subic Bay Naval Station. The slopes of the volcano and the adjacent hills and valleys were home to thousands of villagers. Despite the great number of people at risk, there were few casualties in the June 15 eruption. This was the result of intensive monitoring of Mount Pinatubo by scientists with the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (PHIVOLCS) and the USGS.

The first recognized signs that Pinatubo was reawakening after a 500-year slumber were a series of small steam-blast explosions in early April 1991. Scientists from PHIVOLCS immediately began on-site monitoring and soon declared a 6-mile-radius danger zone around the volcano. They were joined in a few weeks by USGS scientists from the Volcano Disaster Assistance Program, a cooperative effort with the Office of Foreign Disaster Assistance of the U.S. Agency for International Development.

The USGS and PHIVOLCS estimate that their forecasts saved at least 5,000 lives and perhaps as many as 20,000. The people living in the lowlands around Mount Pinatubo were alerted to the impending eruption by the forecasts, and many fled to towns at safer distances from the volcano or took shelter in buildings with strong roofs. Additionally, more than 18,000 American servicemen and their dependents were evacuated from Clark Air Base prior to the June 15 eruption. In the eruption, thousands of weaker roofs, including some on Clark, collapsed under the weight of ash made wet by heavy rains, yet only about 250 lowland residents were killed. Of the 20,000 indigenous Aeta highlanders who lived on the slopes of Mount Pinatubo, all but about 120 were safely evacuated before the eruption completely devastated their villages.
No, wait a minute, it was, forget about the Democrats, and their Big Government, Big Spending Ways, you should just "Trust Us";
In recent years, these distinctions in philosophy became less clear -- because our party got away from its principles. You elected Republicans to champion limited government, fiscal discipline, and personal responsibility. Instead, Republicans went along with earmarks and big government spending in Washington. Republicans lost your trust -- and rightly so.

Tonight, on behalf of our leaders in Congress and my fellow Republican governors, I say: Our party is determined to regain your trust. We will do so by standing up for the principles that we share -- the principles you elected us to fight for -- the principles that built this into the greatest, most prosperous country on earth.

"... Went along with earmarks and big government spending in Washington ...?"

Hello? ... The Bush Grindhouse and their billions-of-dollars lies? ... Ted Stevens? ... The rubber-stamp Republican-controlled Congress for six-of-the-last-eight-years?

Yeah, we'll get back to you on that one, Bobby ... 

It would have been much better off, despite whatever the traditions may be, if the Republicans sat this one out last evening.

If Jindal is supposed to be one of the top tier, "the smart one" of the potential 2012 field, you saw how worried The Wasilla Whiz Kid is about him, using the day to dump the news of settling her Ethic Charges, and getting dunned about $7,000 in reimbursement payments and taxes.

Trying to compete with the Big Show, Obama in his groove spot of a giant spotlighted speech, was a lost cause.

They should have saved themselves, and sent out Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, for his continuing bitch session, which, undoubtedly, would have been equally, if not more, entertaining.

But no, the Republicans wanted to show us their future, a shitbag of failed policies, bankrupted ideology, completely empty of any new ideas, and no desire to even get into the game.

That's their mantra and their sticking to it.
My fellow citizens, never forget: We are Americans. And like my Dad said years ago, Americans can do anything.
Yeah, that song has already been sung.
Anything you can be
I can be greater.
Sooner or later,
I'm greater than you.
Bonus Jindal Riffs

There is an explosion, out on the World Wide Web, of great reactions to Jindal today, so we have posted them separately ... Jump on over to Jindal Jabberwocky to catch up on them.

And, since we weaved it into the narrative above, we might as well post it.

Annie Get Your Gun - Anything You Can Do

Jindal Jabberwocky

As we noted above, in our Bobby, Get Your Gun ..., there has been a fevered reaction to Bobby Jindal's rebuttal ("Americans Can Do Anything"), on President Obama's speech to the joint session of Congress last evening (The Not-A-State-of-the-Union Address).

So much so, that it wouldn't do justice to our typical "Bonus Links" that we often include.

Nosireebobby ... We have to hightlight some of the great riffs that are out there, with their own post.

First, the basics

Full text of Obama's speech to Congress and the nation

Full text of Gov. Bobby Jindal's Republican response

A Little Pre-Game Trash Talk

ABC News, in two posts, seemed to want to paint the President as a braggart;

Obama Claim: Done More in 30 Days Than Other Presidents

Official: Obama Accomplished More in 30 Days Than Any President in Modern History

And the Queen of the Flying Monkeys, Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin was having a hard time sitting still, waiting for the speech.

Obama - A+

Joan Walsh: "We are not quitters"

Libby Spencer: Scoring the speeches

Digby: The Speech

And, over on Brilliant at Breakfast, Jill sighed It would be a relief even if all he could do is speak coherently

And, now, some of the Jindal Jabberwocky!

Paging 30 Rock

Andrew Sullivan: Kenneth Jindal

Andy, at Towle Road: Obama Speaks to Congress, Jindal Does 30 Rock Impression

Greg Veis: Epic Fail, SOTU Rebuttal Version

Is there a more dangerous assignment for a rising party star to accept than a State of the Union rebuttal? Seriously, it’s hemlock. Tonight, in all fairness, would’ve been tough to pull off even if Bobby Jindal didn’t sound like Kenneth from “30 Rock,” or, in my favorite analogy of the evening, a third grader performing in his Thanksgiving play: Obama’s favorables are still roughly comparable to delicious, delicious beer’s; Republicans are widely perceived to be obstructionist naysayers; and, as Jon Cohn notes below, Americans are scared enough these days to prefer policy solutions to partisan sniping. But, holy crap, did Jindal blow it. I don’t even want to rehash the deadly obvious reasons why--just check out what the people who were supposed to like it are saying.

About That Volcano Stuff

Now, it was astoundingly strange, for the Governor of state that has a city that sits below sea level, and flooding can come, just from a normal summer thunderstorm, let alone a Category 5 hurricane, to go out and disparage the section of the Stimulus Package for Volcano Monitoring.

Andrea Thompson: Gov. Jindal Follow-up: What Is 'Volcano Monitoring'?

Davenoon - Bobby Jindal: Soft on Volcanoes

Matthew Yglesias: The Case for Volcano Monitoring

Nate Silver: Jindal Versus the Volcano

Hurricane Katrina Jindal's Good Luck Charm


David Weigel: Bobby Jindal and the Stimulus as Hurricane Katrina

Oh, God

It was, primarily, the Right Wing Freak Show that has got their panties in a bunch, over Tweety letting out an "Oh, God" as Jindal strode out and walked down the short corridor to the podium, in the Governors Mansion.

Michael Calderone - MSNBC welcomes Jindal: 'Oh God'

Michael Goldfarb: Matthews Not Tingly for Jindal

Michelle "Stalkin" Malkin: Bobby Jindal and the expectations game; plus: which MSNBC host said “Oh, god?”

Chris, at TVNewser: "Oh God" Heard From MSNBC Set As Gov. Jindal Appears for GOP Response

Chris, at TVNewser: "Oh God" Book II: Chris Matthews Responds
I was taken aback by that peculiar stagecraft, the walking from somewhere in the back of this narrow hall, this winding staircase looming there, the odd anti-bellum look of the scene. Was this some mimicking of a president walking along the state floor to the East Room?

They Don't Like Me ... They Really Don't Like Me

Andrew Sullivan: The Right On Jindal

Think Progress: Fox Panel’s Verdict On Jindal’s Speech: ‘Childish,’ ‘Amateurish,’ ‘Not Exactly Terrific’

Taylor Marsh: Calling Sarah Palin
LEHRER: Now that, of course, was Gov. Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana, making the Republican response. David, how well do you think he did? 

BROOKS: Uh, not so well. You know, I think Bobby Jindal is a very promising politician, and I oppose the stimulus because I thought it was poorly drafted. But to come up at this moment in history with a stale "government is the problem," "we can't trust the federal government" - it's just a disaster for the Republican Party. The country is in a panic right now. They may not like the way the Democrats have passed the stimulus bill, but that idea that we're just gonna - that government is going to have no role, the federal government has no role in this, that - In a moment when only the federal government is actually big enough to do stuff, to just ignore all that and just say "government is the problem, corruption, earmarks, wasteful spending," it's just a form of nihilism. It's just not where the country is, it's not where the future of the country is. There's an intra-Republican debate. Some people say the Republican Party lost its way because they got too moderate. Some people say they got too weird or too conservative. He thinks they got too moderate, and so he's making that case. I think it's insane, and I just think it's a disaster for the party. I just think it's unfortunate right now.

Republicans might have to rethink this Jindal thing.
Calling Sarah Palin? Yep, all Palin has to do is stay out of sight and study. They'll end up begging her to come back, with Rush & Sean Hannity leading the cheers. She can't answer the simplest questions but at least she can deliver a speech.

Piling On


Paul Begala: Memo to Bobby Jindal: Dump Rush

TBogg: Bobby, we hardly knew ye

John Aravosis (DC): Bobby Jindal epitomizes Republicanism

Nick Baumann: Bobby Jindal's Stimulus Lies

Joe Sudbay (DC): Jindal's reviews are in: "really poor performance" "unserious" "hackneyed" "childish" (and that's just from one article in Politico)

Jamison Foser: Will media repeat Jindal's false attack on Obama, or correct it?

John Amato: Bobby Jindal's Zombie like performance uses phony Republican talking point of 'magnetic levitation' trains

This Date ... On The Garlic

25 February 2008... On The Garlic

"...And Your Mother Wears Combat Boots!"

25 February 2007... On The Garlic

Cue Fox Promo "If You Don't Laugh, That Must Mean You're Aiding The Terrorists" ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

25 February 2005... On The Garlic

Cardinals Stymied, Looking For A New Signal

Suede Magazine Shutting Down

MTV Launches In Africa

Top Ten Cloves: How Martha Stewart Plans To Be Nicer When Released From Prison

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

New Garlic Poll ... If the GOP Governors don't want the Stimulus Money, Obama should ...

These guys certainly would qualify, all by themselves, as a boatload of Ignorant Dolts.

Louisiana's Bobby Jindal, Mississippi's Haley Barbor, South Carolina's Mark Sanford, and some others, have all firmly inserted their heads up their rear ends, and have come out bashing the Stimulus Package, all saying they would reject it, or a certain amount of it.

It's all part of their new/old, Back-To-The-Future, Newt Gingrich-Contract-On-America strategy, that is going to sweep them back into power

See, by saying no, becoming the party of "No", being the obstructionists to the reigniting of our economy, they are placing all their chips on President Obama failing, just so they can hit the campaign trails with a "Naa, Naa, Naa, Naa, Naa ... We told you so!".

Other than it will hurt scores-of-hundreds-of-thousands around the country, in their respective states, I would be inclined to say "Go For It!" ... Keep listening to the Cheeseburger That Sweats (aka Rush Limbaugh; H/T to Barry Crimmins for that), and the new Town Crier, Rick Santelli... Let them lead you to even further irrelevance.

So, we thought, rather than waste energy on them, we'd offer up a few options for President Obama, on what to do with the money they are rejecting.

If the GOP Governors don't want the Stimulus Money, Obama should ...

Give it to his daughters

Buy John McCain a helicopter

Go to Las Vegas and "stimulate" the crap tables

Stash it away in a Slush Fund for 2012
Go over to the leftside column and place your votes!

Bonus Links

Think Progress: Obama Hits GOP Governors Rejecting Stimulus Funds: There’ll Be ‘Ample Time For Campaigns Down The Road’

DemFromCT: Operation Unified Lemming

Chris Cillizza And Perry Bacon Jr.: Well Before the 2012 Season, Obama Kicks the GOP a Political Football

Garlic Poll Results ... "But I Thought We Were Getting A Company Car!"

Well, our revival of The Garlic's Weekly Poll was met with news that, well, let's just say it wasn't a rounding endorsement for taking a seat on Obama's new Presidential Task Force on the Auto Industry;

Auto team drives imports ...Fed task force has few new U.S. cars

The vehicles owned by the Obama administration's auto team could reflect one reason why Detroit's Big Three automakers are in trouble: The list includes few new American cars. 

Among the eight members named Friday to the Presidential Task Force on the Auto Industry and the 10 senior policy aides who will assist them in their work, two own American models. Add the Treasury Department's special adviser to the task force and the total jumps to three.
And the two big cheeses - Secretary of the Treasury Timothy F. Geithner and White House National Economic Council Director Lawrence Summers?
The co-chairs of the task force -- Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner and White House National Economic Council Director Lawrence Summers -- both own foreign automobiles. 

Geithner owns a 2008 Acura TSX, registered in New York. He once owned a 1999 Honda Accord and a 2002 Acura MDX, according to public records. 

Geithner is the president's designee for purposes of enforcing loan agreements with GM and Chrysler and must approve or reject any proposed transactions by either company that would cost $100 million or more. 

His maternal grandfather, Charles Moore, was a vice president at Ford Motor Co. from 1952-63, according to Peter Geithner, the secretary's father. But Geithner wasn't very interested in cars growing up -- in part because he graduated from high school in Asia, his father said. 

Summers owns a 1995 Mazda Protege that's registered in Massachusetts. He previously owned a 1996 Ford Taurus GL.
Hmmmm ... Kind of like finding out that the chef for your restaurant, eats down the street.

Something tells me that a whole bunch of people in the Obama Administration will be visiting their local car dealerships - those selling American models - in the near future.

However, there is a bright side to this.

The persons that our Garlic readers voted to be added to the Obama Car Team, are probably the best possible salesman for just this type of problem.

And, they certainly will be able to part quality advice, as to repairs and upkeep.

The Results

For his "Presidential panel on the auto industry", Obama should include; 

Click and Clack,,, Tally 40% 

Danica Patrick ... Tally 30% 

Speed Racer... Tally 20% 

Like Dick Cheney's Energy Task Force, keep it Super Secret ... Tally 10% 

The New Garlic Weekly Poll;  
If the GOP Governors don't want the Stimulus Money, Obama should ...
Go over to the leftside column and place your vote!

Fat Tuesday! ... Oh, But On The Third Day!

Laissez les bon temps roulez!

It be Fat Tuesday, so get your beads, drinks and let's start the party!

What is Fat Tuesday?

Mardi Gras in New Orleans

New Orleand Mardi Gras

And, of course, the music!

Canal Street Blues Firehouse Five Plus Two

Oh, But On The Third Day (Happy Feet Blues) Wynton Marsalis

This Date ... On The Garlic

24 February 2008... On The Garlic

Well, It's A Destiny of Sitting at The Presidential Kids Table

There's Sucker's Born Every Minute ...

He's Back! - Nader To The Rescue - Again!

Editor's Note: Furnace, Snow, and Burnt Out

24 February 2006... On The Garlic

New White House Bombshell As President Confirms It's "My Government"

Top Ten Cloves: Problems With Being A Woman Figure Skater In The Winter Olympics

24 February 2005... On The Garlic

Garlic Extra! - More White House Payola; Thomas the Tank Engine Stumped for Amtrak

O Solo Mio; Venice To Build Subway To Boost Tourism

Bravo Going To The Dogs For More Poker

Top Ten Cloves: How So. Californians Are Coping With The Rain

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Oscars ... "Perfectly awful!"

I have to say, I watched every moment of last nights Oscars, throughly enjoying myself, totally enthralled with the evenings' program.

On yeah, all of that, in the spirit of Leonard Pinth Garnel.

"Stunningly bad!", I could hear him dripping.

You would think, with 80 of these things under their belt, they would have the system down by the 81st.

But, noooooooooo ... 

They have to reinvent themselves - every year.

And not, necessarily, to the better.

"Gotta Dance!"

It worked for Gene Kelly, in "Singing in the Rain", but that was what, 57-years ago?

Hopefully, the "Exquisitely awful!", song-and-dance numbers last evening will, once-and-forever, end the torture of watching the industry make fools of themselves, year-after-year.

Robert Bianco, from USA TODAY, who, otherwise, liked the program, seems to agree;

Unfortunately, the improvements often seem to come more in spite of host Hugh Jackman than because of him. Jackman is an appealing performer, but despite his Broadway background, he is more an actor who can sing than an actual singer. That's a problem for a broadcast that twice stopped dead for the kind of production numbers that were corny when the June Taylor Dancers were doing them.
Memo to the Academy: You are the Academy of Motion Pictures - Show Clips!

If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium

Great, and heartwarming, considering the lack-of-stars, relatively low-budget, and whatever production hassles they had to endure, that Slumdog Millionaire cleaned up.

However, if I were the movies' caterer, I would be mighty pissed off, for it seems they were the only ones associated with the movie that were not present in the Kodak Theatre last evening.

And the nation's xenophobes must have been in gut-wrenching agongy watching the program, between the Austrialian host, Penelope Cruz, and the Slumdog parade to the winners circle.

I wonder how many shoes Lou Dobbs threw at this television screen ... He must have spent the better part of the night, to the chagrin of his family, berating the motion picture business, just marking off the time before it will all be part of "Communist China", or that they will have to subtitle the broadcast, in English.

Jerry Lewis

God Bless'em.

I thought they were going to have to lay down some dolly tracks in order to bring that segment to us.

Couldn't the producers given him a break, and conduct the honoring in the special booth section he was sitting, rather than have him careen around the stage, obviously the worse for whatever recent health issues that have befallen him. 

No doubt some in the audience might have had fear, the way he was swinging the Oscar around, a few times, like he was warming up for the hammer toss.

It's likely the Academy will get a nod for pulling the French out of their economic slump

Honoring Lewis will be setting off the employment of thousands, all working on new awards to give to their beloved cinematic hero.

The Wicker Man Effect

Who was the genius that came up with having the gaggle of past winners, come out, verbally describe the actors role, being sure to include some nod-and-a-wink "personal" touch?

It had the feel of "The Wicker Man", or "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", how they circled behind the winner, almost as if to pounce on them, tackle them, and begin devouring them like a pack of wolves.

Memo to the Academy: You are the Academy of Motion Pictures! ... 

It's a visual medium! ... If you were the Academy of Gabbing Heads, fine, but you're not, so show the fucking clips.

And when you do show the clips, you don't edit them with the entire history of motion picture film, a montage of your 81 years! ... The night is to celebrate, honor and award, a set number of people and pictures - from 2008 - and not to play "Where's Waldo" as to this years nominees ... 

Bring Out Your Dead

This is the standard, der rigeur segment of the show, the honor roll of those in the industry who have passed away.

And, it always plays out, that the more recent death, the younger the star (or the gigantically more famous) always get the big applause, as if the other dead were mere tag-alongs.

So, here was one of their heralded improvements - let's have a song sung during the Scroll of the Dead.

Well, for me, I started to cringe, and shout "No, No, you're not going to do that, are you?"

Seeing Queen Latifah come out, thinking how she can really belt it, my fear was - now think back to the above, of having the Gang of 5 talk about the nominees - that she was going to sing the names of the dead, to some snazzy, jazzy reworked rendition of, say, "La Mer", or "I've Got You Under My Skin".

They weren't that far off the mark, with "I'll Be Seeing You", which Wikipedia describes as;
The lyrics take a jaunty commonplace of casual farewell ..."
You don't, typically, associate "jaunty" and "casual" with death.

Maybe, that "the song became notably associated with Liberace, as the theme to his television show of the 1950s", it was another political statement to the Prop. 8 crowd.

Oh yeah, having the dead ping-ponging among multiple monitors was not a cool thing.

The Missed Kodak Moment

All kudos to Sean Pean, but the Academy voters missed the money shot, by not voting Mickey Rourke as the winner.

It doesn't come around too often, that story of a movie resembles, almost perfectly, the life of the lead actor, but they had that to consider, with Rourke's turn in 'The Wrestler'.

Yeah, but that does come every year, a "We Wuz Robbed" story.

Just like the "Unrelentingly bad!" song-and-dance numbers.

Which, undoubtedly, will be aplenty in the 82nd Oscar show.

Bonus Oscar Riffs

'Slumdog' wins big at Oscars ...Film takes eight trophies at Academy Awards

A ‘Slumdog’ Kind of Night at the Oscar Ceremony

Oscars backstage: Kate Winslet hugs, Sean Penn on Mickey Rourke, more!

Looking at Mickey Rourke and the Oscars

Joy in the Castro as Penn wins Oscar for 'Milk'

Leaving Bush Behind

It will probably take a few years, maybe longer, to truly root out, shower and scrub, our education system from the abuse it received from the Bush Grindhouse.

You remember, their "No Child Left Behind" abomination.

Well, there is a start ...

Rename Law? No Wisecrack Is Left Behind

Two years ago, an effort to fix No Child Left Behind, the main federal law on public schools, provoked a grueling slugfest in Congress, leading Representative George Miller, Democrat of California, to say the law had become “the most negative brand in America.”

Education Secretary Arne Duncan agrees. “Let’s rebrand it,” he said in an interview. “Give it a new name.”

And before Mr. Duncan has had time to float a single name, scores of educators, policy wonks and assorted rabble-rousers have rushed in with an outpouring of proposals.


The law dates to 1965, when Congress passed it to channel federal money to poor children in the war on poverty, calling it the Elementary and Secondary Education Act.

By the early 1990s, a school accountability movement was gaining momentum. In the 1994 reauthorization, the Clinton administration required states to develop new math and reading standards, use more tests, and adopt a benchmark for school improvement known as “adequate yearly progress.” And it gave the law a new name: the Improving America’s Schools Act of 1994.

Most people clung to the original name, however, until Mr. Bush signed No Child Left Behind.

The phrase appears to be borrowed from Ms. Edelman, the founder of the Children’s Defense Fund, who throughout the 1990s seasoned speeches with the phrase “leave no child behind.” In 1994, the organization registered “Leave No Child Behind” as a trademark.

But as early as the mid-1990s, Mr. Bush, then the Texas governor, was routinely using similar phrases. 

In 2000, the organization reminded the Bush campaign about its trademark, but those complaints were brushed aside. After Mr. Bush’s inauguration as president, he sent Congress a thick packet of education proposals to guide the law’s 2001 rewriting, titled No Child Left Behind.

Interesting to see that the Bush Grindhouse was ignoring laws, even before they took they stole the election.

And what names are being generated?
Alternatives are popping up every day on the blog, where Andrew Rotherham, a former Clinton administration official, is sponsoring a rename-the-law contest.

One entry, alluding to the bank bailout program, suggests that it be called the Mental Asset Recovery Plan. Another proposal: the Act to Help Children Read Gooder.


Since Mr. Rotherham announced his contest last week, Eduwonk has received 41 entries, including: the Double Back Around to Pick Up the Children We Left Behind Act, the Rearranging the Deck Chairs Act, the Teach to the Test Act and the Could We Start Again Please Act.

You can visit, and their A Contest! Name That Law!, to throw in your suggestions.

The Garlic offered these;

Leave Bush Behind Act
Clear Bush Policies Act
All Children To The Front Act
Clean Minds Act
Compassionate Education Act
He's Gone, Now We Can Learn Act

And, in homage to former Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings, The Flashcards with Buster Act