Friday, October 06, 2006

Minced Garlic: Another Stellar Keith Olbermann Special Comment - “A special comment about lying”

“In less than one month you have gone from a flawed call to unity to this clarion call to hatred of Americans, by Americans.

If this is not simply the most shameless example of the rhetoric of political hackery, then it would have to be the cry of a leader crumbling under the weight of his own lies.”

Geez, you would think, by now, that some of the other major media anchors would catch a clue, get a glove and jump in the game.

It’s almost become sublime, that even before the National Intelligence Estimate report was leaked, or before Bob Woodward’s ‘State of Denial” hit the bookstands, like everybody knew. Watching his speeches, seeing the sound bites, reading the newspapers ... it has been getting embarrassing. You just knew the President is lying.

Certainly they can’t that blind, can they?

Yet, even if the did, it’s doubtful they could measure up to MSNBC’s Countdown hero host, Keith Olbermann, who knocks another Special Comment out of the park, directly calling out President Bush. And on a day where our fearless Decider engages in yet another Signing Statement.

Tonight’s screed was “A special comment about lying; Keith Olbermann on the difference between terrorists and critics” and Our Man Keith took no prisoners (something, at minimum the President and his Neocronies could relate to). And he weighed into it, almost from the get-go.

“Yesterday at a fundraiser for an Arizona congressman, Mr. Bush claimed, quote, “177 of the opposition party said, ‘You know, we don’t think we ought to be listening to the conversations of terrorists.’”

The hell they did.

One hundred seventy-seven Democrats opposed the president’s seizure of another part of the Constitution.

Not even the White House press office could actually name a single Democrat who had ever said the government shouldn’t be listening to the conversations of terrorists.

President Bush hears what he wants.”

This has been the S.O.P for Bush and his administration. Lie, lie often, lie loudly and keep saying it, over-and-over and, with the new twist Bush & Co. have added lately, admit the lie, acknowledge it, then, turn around, perhaps with a touch or rephrasing, and start repeating the lie all over again.

It’s nearly a parody of the late, great, comic/satirist Lenny Bruce, who advocated “Deny it ... They catch you in the act, deny it”

More from Olbermann

It defies belief that this president and his administration could continue to find new unexplored political gutters into which they could wallow. They are, instead, solemn and even terrible quest

ions, about your fitness to fulfill the responsibilities of your office. You have dishonored your party, sir; you have dishonored your supporters; you have dishonored yourself.

But tonight the stark qu
estion we must face is — why?

And, after offering a killer quote, from General Tommy Franks, from Cigar Aficionado Magazine, of all places, shortly after he retired his post as commander-in-chief of U.S. Central Command in Iraq (“that causes our population to question our own Constitution and to begin to militarize our country in order to avoid a repeat of another mass-casualty-producing event. Which, in fact, then begins to potentially unravel the fabric of our Constitution.”), Olbermann throws it down;

“Mr. President, these new lies go to the heart of what it is that you truly wish to preserve. It is not our freedom, nor our country—your actions against the Constitution give irrefutable proof of that. You want to preserve a political party’s power. And obviously you’ll sell this country out, to do it.”

As The Garlic has said previously, it never was “bad intelligence” and it always has been, and, frighteningly, continues to be “bad ideology”.


Read "A special comment about lying; Keith Olbermann on the difference between terrorists and critics"

Crooks and Liars has the video

MSNBC’s Countdown, with Keith Olbermann

Previous Special Comment Posts

Minced Garlic: Brand New Keith Olbermann Special Comment - End Of The Free Pass

Minced Garlic ... Keith Olbermann Special Comment - Feeling morally, intellectually confused?

Minced Garlic Redux! ... New Keith Olbermann Special Comment, - 'Have you no sense of decency, sir?'

Minced Garlic Trois - Special September 11th Special Comment By Keith Olbermann: “This Hole In The Ground”

Minced Garlic - New Keith Olbermann Special Comment - Bush Owes Us An Apology

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Breaking News! Giant Search Engine Downed By GOP and RNC Staffers

Google Crashes! Besieged With “I’m Feeling Lucky” Searches From White House, Congress

Amazon, D.C. Novelty Stores Hit With Run On Magic 8-Balls

Millions of computer users around the world this morning where stunned to find that the Google Search Engine was unavailable, that it had crashed. A one-line message, on an even more barren home page than the usually sparse Google offering, read “Unavailable To Perform Task; Server Down

The cause, according to a Google executive, was due to a “tsunami of searches”, concentrated on Google’s infamously whimsy “I’m Feeling Lucky” search bar, from IP addresses traced back to the Capital Building, the White House and an undisclosed alcohol and drug rehabilitation clinic.

Google, as of the time of this report, has not been successful in restoring service, as a flood of “I’m Feeling Lucky” searches continue to stream from the Washington, D.C. area

‘This is really unprecedented,” offered a beleaguered Marissa Mayer, the company's vice president for search products and user experience. “We’ve never really experienced this before ... The system was strained around the time Princess Diana died, but that was when we were very young and not nearly as big ... We’ve had some other scary spikes - we get clusters of people looking for when Rosanne sang the National Anthem... Or, very recently, Senator Allen’s Macaca incident... Also, our “I’m Feeling Lucky” on Google Iraq has been running at near capacity for the past three-years.”

Mayer says that company engineers are “on the case”, and that Google is contemplating firing up new servers, in their still-under-construction server farms up in the Pacific Northwest.

Other search engines, including Ask.Com, MSN and Yahoo report average, to slightly above-average search inquiries.

Among the “I’m Feeling Lucky” searches that crashed Google, include;

- Crisis + Save Job?
Plausible Alibis
- Hastert home address
- Democrats + IM’s + Congressional Pages
Woodward home address
- Meeting denials
- Timmy + Congressional Page + Florida
- New Smears
Scandals + Best + Placing Blame
Gay Democrats
Images = Nancy Pelosi + Barnyard Animals
- Famous Nazi Appeasers

Mayer indicated that “Gay Democrats” and “Images = Nancy Pelosi + Barnyard Animals” were the two most searched items, from late yesterday afternoon, into the early morning hours, and just before the system crashed, “Crisis + Save Job?” was flooding the “I’m Feeling Lucky” search bar.

Mayer was emphatic that the crash of Google has nothing to do with any type of “click-fraud” and, that it won’t affect the planned Google Government Search program that is in the works.

“I knew they were burning the midnight oil,” offered David Aaronson, editor of What Color Is My Coat Today?, the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party, “but for something like this to happen, they must have bused the entire RNC in here.”

Coincidently, Amazon.Com, as well as novelty stores in the nation’s capital, and the surrounding D.C. area, have reported an unexpected run on Magic 8-Ball’s. An Amazon spokesperson said that the company “came pretty close” to setting a new record for overnight, next-day deliveries, while the novelty stores indicated a steady stream, beginning yesterday morning, and staying strong from the moment they opened their doors today.

Along with the crash of Google, due to a "tsunami of searches" in its' "I'm Feeling Lucky" bar, Amazon.Com and D.C.-area novelty shops had a massive run on Magic 8-Balls

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Breaking News! Bush Counting On New Controversy To Bury Iraq, Woodward News

New White House Bombshell: Bush Considering Medal of Freedom Award For Foley

Cites Scandalized Congressman’s Loyalty In House And “Foley’s Attention and Support of Page Program”

New discord has erupted in the White House, a senior government official has told The Garlic, as President Bush, barring a late change of heart, is planning on presenting the Medal of Freedom Award to the scandalized ex-Congressman Mark Foley, the epicenter of growing Congressional scandal.

Foley resigned last Friday, after ABC News reporter Brian Ross broke the story of Foley’s sexually-charged emails and instant messages to Congressional Pages.

Ironically, Foley was the co-chairman of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus, and a leading figure in the fight against on-line sexual exploitation of children.

Fueling this scandal is charges that the Republican Congressional Leadership was aware, from a few months, up to, possibly, a year, of Foley’s inappropriate - and potentially criminal - contacts with pages. House Speaker Denny Hastert (R-IL) coming under fire, with calls for his resignation, for, seemingly, sweeping the issue under the proverbial rug.

Additionally, Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) and National Republican Campaign Committee Chairman Tom Reynolds (R-NY) are also being implicated in the possible cover-up of Foley’s behavior. Coming under additional scrutiny is a $100,000 donation Foley made to the NRCC, chaired by Reynolds, just weeks after House Leader Boehner was advised of Foley’s “inappropriate contact” with a Congressional Page.

For the White House, the Foley Scandal may be the best thing to come along for them over the past week

Under heavy fire, first from a leaked National Intelligence Estimate report that depicts growing violence in Iraq, due to the U.S. invasion and occupation of the country, and then, over the weekend, the release of the Bob Woodward book, ‘State of Denial” which goes to back up the reports that the President and his administration have misled the public on the true state of War in Iraq.

“Boy, you couldn’t have order a better scandal than this Foley thing,” offered Dix Whitcomb, editor of the newsletter Our Laws Are Different "They can send everyone in the Cabinet out on the talkshow circuit, to throw dirt on Woodward and all that does is increase the talk, and probably the book sales.”

“This can take the whole issue,” continued Whitcomb, “of Woodward’s book and Iraq off the table. And you can bet the Rove and Company is working on just that.”

On the surface, the White House is giving the appearance of distancing themselves from the Foley Scandal, that it is a problem for Congress to clean up. On Monday, in an interview with CNN, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow displayed an indifference to the scandal, saying that the sexually-graphic emails sent by Foley, to a number of teenage pages were "simply naughty e-mails."

Behind the doors of the West Wing, a very different scene has been playing out.

In a staff meeting yesterday, President Bush announced to the group that he is considering presenting to Foley, who has checked himself into an alcohol rehabilitation clinic, and now claims he was molested by a clergyman in his youth the Medal of Freedom Award, for his years of service in Congress.

“Bush said,” confirmed the senior government official source, “Foley’s loyalty to the party deserves to be recognized” and that “his support of the Congressional Page Program is exemplary and should be adopted by others.”

The meeting, according to the source, became very contentious at that point, with Rove, Vice President Dick Cheney, National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley backing the President, while Chief of Staff Josh Bolton and Special Councilor Dan Bartlett weighed in against it.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice chose to excuse herself from the discussion, indicating she didn’t want to be put into the position of having to deny she was in meeting, that she knew of some action being requested or discussed, at some later Senate or special committee inquiry.

“If It Takes The Heat Off Of Us, Any Controversy Is Good Controversy”

‘I think,” offered David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party, “is that the White is remembering the hornets nest they stirred up a few years ago, when they gave Tenet and Bremer the Medal of Freedom Award.”

“The President,” continued Aaronson, “or, more likely Rove or Cheney, is thinking that “if it takes the heat off of us, any controversy is good controversy.”

Back in 2004, President Bush awarded the Medal of Freedom to former CIA Director George Tenet, former Iraqi administrator L. Paul Bremer , and also retired Gen. Tommy Franks, saying "This honor goes to three men who have played pivotal roles in great events, and whose efforts have made our country more secure and advanced the cause of human liberty."

The awards earned the President a firestorm of criticism, being that it Mr. Tenet’s Iraq legacy is centered on telling President Bush it would be a “slam dunk” and Bremer, upon his return from Iraq, criticized the President’s policy, offering in a speech that the U.S. didn’t have enough troops on the ground in Iraq.

“Right now, said Aaronson, “it all about getting the N.I.E assessments and Woodward’s book out of the headlines, the news ... The Foley scandal is providing some cover but it won’t do it by itself ...They can gauge pretty well the outcry that will raise ... For the RNC, and all those sitting-duck candidates, giving this guy the Medal Award may be the big Rove October Surprise they have to settle for ...”

President Bush, and the White House, is expecting as much of an uproar regarding awarding disgraced ex-Congressmen Mark Foley the Medal of Freedom Award, as they did two-years ago, in presenting it to former CIA Director George "Slam Dunk" Tenet

Top Ten Cloves: Options Speaker of the House Denny Hastert Is Looking At To Save His Job

News Item: Hastert Rejects Calls To Give Up Leadership

10. Following Donald Rumsfeld’s advice - You go with the scandal you have, not the scandal you wish you had

9. Debating whether to check into an alcohol rehab clinic or announce he, as a youth, was molested by a clergyman

8. Pushing the White House to release as many declassified N.I.E. reports as fast as they can

7. Fearing Foley’s action may threaten National Security, had meeting with Condoleezza Rice, but she probably doesn’t remember it

6. Badgering Chertoff and DHS to let loose with some new Terrorist Threats that raise the colors on the Terror Chart

5. Looking at bending House rules, much like he tried to do for Tom DeLay and make himself Speaker-For-Life

4. Seeking meeting with President Bush, Vice President Cheney, to ask, with all their scandals, what did they do to keep their jobs

3. Badgering Senator George Allen’s campaign staff to have the Senator let loose with another “macaca” incident

2. Will do the ultimate - Go on Oprah , spill his guts and beg for forgiveness

1. In a panic, and ironically, emailing and instant messaging all Republicans, including pages and former pages seeking a statement of endorsement

To draw away attention to himself, in the Mark Foley Scandal, House Speaker Denny Hastert is said to be badgering Chertoff and DHS to let loose with some new Terrorist Threats that raise the colors on the Terror Chart

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

News In Brief - Snow: “Just, Simply, A Naughty Little Grammar Snafu”

New White House Problem: Held Report Allegedly Says Iraq History Will Have Exclamation Point, Not Comma

If a leaked National Intelligence Estimate report, a stinging blockbuster book and a Congressional sex scandal and possible cover-up isn’t enough, the White House is embroiled in yet another controversy.

Numerous sources, primarily from the intelligence community, say that an intelligence report on the decaying situation in Iraq, and being held by President Bush, marked “secret” and thereby not obligated to release it to Congress, say that it notes that Iraq history will have an “exclamation point” and not a “comma” as the President recently boasted.

Last month, in an interview with Wolf Blitzer, on CNN’s ‘Late Edition with Wolf Blitzer’ replied to a question, optimistically with;

“Yes, you see -- you see it on TV, and that's the power of an enemy that is willing to kill innocent people. But there's also an unbelievable will and resiliency by the Iraqi people. Twelve million people voted last December.

Admittedly, it seems like a decade ago. I like to tell people when the final history is written on Iraq, it will look like just a comma because there is -- my point is, there's a strong will for democracy.

These people want a unity government. The unity government is functioning. I'm impressed by President Maliki.

I've talked to him. I've seen the decision-making process that he's put in place. The Iraqi army is still recruiting and training.”

President Writing History That “Doesn’t Jive” With Own Spy Agencies Account

“The President is playing “Edit and Run”,” says Hildy Johnson, editor of the monthly newsletter What Did He Say Now? that tracks and reviews President Bush’s speeches and interviews.

“He can’t have it both ways. He’s the one, after all, with the pen-in-hand, writing all of this Iraq history and it’s not jiving with what his own government agencies are saying.”

Congresswoman Jane Harman (D-CA) has been pressing the White House, and National Intelligence Director John Negroponte, to release the new N.I.E. report before the November Midterm elections, however, it is anticipated that the report won’t be released until January 07, at the earliest.

“I think the President just got his words mixed up,” defended White House Press Secretary Tony Snow. “You see, it’s like this ... The document itself has commas ... In fact it has a lot of commas, along with a whole host of other punctuation. I personally think he misspoke, like going back to the days of telegrams, where you say your sentence, then say “stop” to signify the end of that sentence ... The President was just, verbally, editing his own speech ...It’s not anything to get worked up over ... “

Comma Rooted In Gracie Allen Religious Quote

Johnson says she’s “not buying” the White House version that it was just “The President was just, verbally, editing his own speech.”

Pointing to research, Johnson says that the “comma thing” is attributed to the late comedienne Gracie Allen, and used in Christian teachings, and by a number of religious groups, including United Church of Christ parishes in Massachusetts, First United Methodist Church in Chicago and the evangelist Pat Robertson.

“I believe the full quote is "Don't put a period where God puts a comma," said Johnson.

When confronted with the new information, Snow shrugged his shoulders, saying “It was just, simply, a little naughty grammar snafu... And you get the same chorus of appeasers and naysayers that want to jump all over it ...”

“He can’t have it both ways. He’s the one, after all, with the pen-in-hand, writing all of this Iraq history and it’s not jiving with what his own government agencies are saying.”

Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Is Thinking About To Help Condoleezza Rice Remember Meetings She Attends

News Item: Tenet Recalled Warning Rice

10. Tell the Hewlett Packard folks that they’ll go easy on them, but only if the “pretext” Rice and report back on what’s she’s done

9. Order her to wear an ankle bracelet, similar to the one Martha Stewart had, and DOJ can track her movements

8. Have Vice President Dick Cheney train her on how to make notes in the margin columns of newspapers

7. Ahhh, why bother ... Just wait for the next Woodward book to come out and see what she was up to

6. Just have the Lincoln Group write up a daily wrap-up of her activities, they can make it look good

5. Stylish new “Post-It Notes” suit

4. Volunteer her for a day over at the CIA, for their Waterboading training class

3. Give her a DVD of the movie “Memento” and she if she gets the hint

2. Nothing - The “I was too busy to remember” thing has worked, so far, for Scooter Libby

1. Well, up until last Friday, was considering assigning a Congressional Page to her

Meeting? We ain't got no meeting ... We don't need no meeting ... We don't have to show you no stinking meeting ...

Monday, October 02, 2006

Vote For Who Is The Worst U.S. President

Vote For Who Is The Worst U.S. President

The Garlic wants to bring your attention to fellow blogger Edward Copeland and his newly-launched survey.

Just in time, as the stretch run for the Midterms begins to open up, Copeland, on his blog "Copeland Institute for Lower Learning", is launching a survey on who the worst president has been.

In an email, Copeland suggests “It is the great debate.”

“How bad a president is Dubya? I presume that most people who regularly roam around here agree that he is not a good one, but the question remains how bad is he? Is he the worst since Warren Harding? James Buchanan (Keith Olbermann's pick)? Worst ever? So, to bide our time until the midterms arrive, I've decided to launch a survey to decide the question.

Take time to make a visit and join in to cast your vote.

Dubya is the worst president since ...

Help Me Mister Wizard! The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll September 24 - September 30 2006

Help Me Mister Wizard!

Can’t imagine the Bush Team will want another week like the last one. First, the devastating National Intelligence Estimate report delivers the left cross, and that was rapidly followed by the straight, overhand right landing square on the jaw, courtesy of Mr. Bob Woodward and his new book ‘State of Denial’.

But fear not.

The Bush White House is not an opponent that hits the canvas very often, if all. Typically, such an assault is usually met with a fierce offensive, a “take-no-prisoners” (oh, sorry, not the appropriate phrase to associate with this administration) assault, or, to shake it off as if nothing happened.

By a 2-to-1 margin, the voters in The Garlic’s Weekly Poll last week believe it will be business-as-usual.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll September 24 - September 30 2006

With the new National Intelligence Estimate report, disclosed today by the New York Times and Washington Post, saying that it is the U.S. invasion and occupation of Iraq that is fueling the war and terrorism, not the other way around, President Bush will

1. Simply ignore the N.I.E. report and continue tying Saddam Hussein and Iraq to September 11th, and Saddam’s support of Al Qaeda, thus the reason we needed to invade Iraq Tally 46%

2. Expose and out another intelligence officer, or their spouse, smearing them that this N.I.E. report was a political ploy to cast a bad light on the President and his administration Tally 23%

3. Submit the intelligence officer who wrote the report to the President’s new compromise, and place them under some “aggressive interrogations” Tally 20%

4. Trot Cheney and Rumsfeld out for a new round of “Nazi Appeaser” speeches Tally 11%

This week’s Poll - With the Mark Foley scandal growing by the day, the Republican Leadership in Congress is likely to ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

When the Mark Foley (pictured top) Scandal broke on Friday, many in Washington believed it was some type of prank or promo, possibly of a new television series starring comic Andy Richter (pictured bottom)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 1 October 2006

In his continuing efforts
to make amends to Muslims, after offending them in a speech last month, Pope Benedict XVI announced that he is ignoring the death threats he's received and placing his faith to the forefront. The Pontiff will forgo using the bulletproof Popemobile and make his travels with only a simple umbrella

New York Attorney General Candidate Jeanine Pirro fiercely defended her actions of hiring a private investigator to look into her husband's possible involvement in an extra-marital affair, saying, referencing to her husbands' anatomy, that "If it turned out true, I would have crushed them like this"

The White House is putting out yet another fire, after a leak surfaced that Bush Administration interns and operatives conducted drills and maneuvers for the possibility of catching Washington Post reporter and author of the newly-released and stinging 'State of Denial', Bob Woodward, and drubbing him in grapes for his harsh, negative portrayal of President Bush and his Iraq Policy

The abrupt resignation of Congressmen Mark Foley on Friday on Friday, over graphic, sexual emails sent to a teenage Capital page, wasn't the only earth-shattering event.

Pop star Michael Jackson was spotted inside the Beltway. When asked by reporters, Jackson (shown here) said he was "looking for Congressmen Foley" and that the two "had a great deal to talk about"

More fallout from the leaked N.I.E Report hit the Bush Administration
, as the increased violence in
Iraq depicted in the assessment has also ravaged the fast food industry in Baghdad

It was noted that for the past three-months, carhops now undertake their service, armed, either for protection, or to conduct killings.

The N.I.E. reports stated that it is just a matter of time, before busboys, line-preps and chefs began arming themselves as well

With his reappointment in serious jeopardy
, being that there are signals that he will not win Senate confirmation, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton is anticipating a career change and has commissioned work on a new moustache