Friday, September 15, 2006

Breaking News! Hewlett Packard Update - Ms, Dunn Goes To Washington

Bush, Reportedly, Woos HP’s Dunn; Offers Position To Aid Surveillance Program

White House Impressed With Covert Program; Seeks Dunn To Oversee Pretexting Of Congress Before Big Votes In Fall

Sources are telling The Garlic that, beginning late yesterday afternoon, the White House has been in talks with Hewlett Packard Chairwoman Patricia Dunn and, reportedly, have offered her a position to aid and oversee various surveillance programs.

Included in the surveillance programs that Dunn would work on, the White House is looking at conducting a special “pretexting” programs on Congress, prior to what is expected to be big, significant battles to approve and legitimize the President’s wiretapping and torture policies.

“Boy, we could have used her here this week,” gushed Dan Bartlett, Counselor to the President. ““Perhaps we could have gotten a ‘heads-up’ on Colin Powell sandbagging the President.”.

Bartlett, who is responsible for all aspects of President Bush’s strategic communications planning and the formulation of policy and implementation of the President's agenda, is referencing a letter sent by Powell, the former Secretary of State and chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, to Senator John McCain (R-AZ) yesterday.

McCain, who along with Senator John W. Warner (R-VA) and Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), are rebuffing the President and his proposed policies for interrogating and trying enemy combatants, which some say would “gut” the Geneva Convention rules.

Powell blasted the President, writing to McCain that “The world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism,” To redefine Common Article 3 would add to those doubts. Furthermore, it would put our own troops at risk.”

In an afternoon press conference, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow offered that Powell was “confused” and defended the President and his right to define the torture practices employed by the military and CIA.

President is said to be “very impressed” with Dunn’s instincts

All of this came against the backdrop of something rarely seen in the nation’s capital over the past six-years - President Bush visiting Congress, to personally lobby the lawmakers to back his torture policies.

With a number of key votes upcoming in the Congress, for the President’s wiretapping and torture program, as well as the Fall Midterm elections, the addition of Dunn to the surveillance staff is viewed as a coup by many in the White House and intelligence community.

The President is said to be “very impressed” with Dunn’s instincts, that when trouble with her board leaking information arose, she snapped into action by “pretexting” their telephone and computer records.

With her high tech background, the White House is confident that Dunn will be able to handle the highly sophisticated surveillance equipment, a significant step up from the spying techniques she employed at Hewlett Packard.

Dunn, when the HP Spying Scandal broke into the news, defended her actions, echoing the President, saying that employees who tolerated leaks were “appeasers” and was preparing to lobby Congress for greater surveillance powers when the call from the White House came.

Dunn resigned as Chairwoman, effective in January, over the spying scandal, but remains as Director with the company

The move to snare Dunn is also seen as a bridge-builder by the White House, to Silicon Valley and the high-tech community, after the incident this summer when President Bush made a surprise visit to the Redmond headquarters of Microsoft, to push founder and Chairman Bill Gates out of his position, as part of new Chief of Staff Josh Bolten’s sweep of the White House.

“Any day,” said Bartlett, “that you can get a giant of industry to come join your team, that is a very good day, indeed.”

Dunn, it is said, will report to CIA Director General Michael Hayden and, unconfirmed sources say, insisted for a clause in her contract that her position, or that of her spouse, as well as her work for the White House, CIA or NSA will not be leaked to the media, for political revenge, or any other reason, by Vice President Dick Cheney, or any members of his staff (including the indicted former VP Chief of Staff I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby) Special Counsel Karl Rove, or columnists, reporters and authors, including Robert Novak, Bob Woodward or Judy Miller.

Impressed with her instincts in dealing with leaks, President Bush is reportedly giving the "thumbs up" as to bringing embattled Hewlett Packard Chairwoman Patricia Dunn on to the White House staff, to aid the President in his surveillance programs

Top Ten Cloves: Torture Practices President Bush Will Definitely Fight Congress To Keep

News Item: Bush Urges Congress to Back Terror Legislation

10. Piped-in audio loop of Senator George Allen (R-VA) calling terrorists ‘Macaca’s”

9. Under blinding lights, with little sleep, force detainees to choose between Boston Red Sox David “Papi” Ortiz or New York Yankee Derek Jeter for MVP and make then explain why

8. Certain Humiliation Techniques, such as forcing prisoner to be Tucker Carlson’s dance partner on next “Dancing With The Stars”

7. Assignment of detainees to the Interior Department, as Ethics Officers

6. Issuing of Danish Coloring Books

5. Non-Stop Loop of Pauley Shore Film Festival in on television sets in detainee cells

4. Forcing terrorists to write fan letters to Pope Benedict XVI

3. Will trade water boarding for new “Irwin boarding” - To get confessions, will be allowed to throw terrorists in tank of stingrays

2. Relentless interview by Nancy Grace

1. Fact checking Ann Coulter’s books

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Developing Story! Bush Using ‘Third Awakening’ Against Critics, Controversial Law For Insurgents

New Shift By White House To Battle Critics and Insurgents Embraces Religious, American Roots

President Ties Critics To ‘Slave Owners”; Planning Taking Place To Impose Eminent Domain On Anbar Province

With ground cover already laid down against his critics, equaling them to Nazi appeasers, President Bush has opened a new front in an attempt to sell his failed Iraq policy, seeking to galvanize the Christian Right, saying that he sees a “third awakening” aiding his fight against global terrorism, now equating his critics to “slave owners”.

Speaking to conservative journalists in the White House Tuesday, President Bush, according to the Washington Post “notices more open expressions of faith among people he meets during his travels, and he suggested that might signal a broader revival similar to other religious movements in history.”

“Bush noted that some of Abraham Lincoln's strongest supporters were religious people "who saw life in terms of good and evil" and who believed that slavery was evil. Many of his own supporters, he said, see the current conflict in similar terms.”

Many contend that the President has run a concurrent “religious” policy agenda, next to his domestic and foreign policies and this wouldn’t be the first occasion that President Bush has placed his battle in a religious light.

Soon after the attacks of September 11th, the President begin is war of words, vowing to rid the world of 'evil-doers'.

"And we'll be alert. Your government is alert. The governors and mayors are alert that evil folks still lurk out there.

A few days later, Bush raised the ire of Europe when he cast his fight against the terrorists as a “crusade”.

“It’s good to see the President getting back on-course,” said Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century

“Cheney, Rummy, the guys running for Congress,” continued Martins, “Can play with the Nazi and Appeaser themes ... They’ve been doing a fantastic job with it. But it’s time now for the President to bring the hammer of God into it.”

Cheney, while appearing on ‘Meet The Press’ on Sunday, didn’t break out this new “slave owner” label, but did slam the administration critics with “when they see the kind of debate that we’ve had in the United States, suggestions, for example, that we should withdraw U.S. forces from Iraq, simply feed into that whole notion, validates the strategy of the terrorists.”

However, with an uncharacteristic pressing from host Tim Russert, Cheney was forced into nearly an hour of relentless spinning, sending him to the hospital after the program, complaining of “dizziness”.

Bush Using God and Slave Owner Label “Something Everyday People Will Understand”

The President’s comments came on a day where he was slammed by Democrats, for his politicizing the somber occasion of the 5th Anniversary with a national television address in which he continued to link his invasion and occupation of Iraq with the broader fight against global terrorism.

With advance notice that his speech would not be political, the President went out and stated "Whatever mistakes have been made in Iraq, the worst mistake would be to think that if we pulled out, the terrorists would leave us alone. They will not leave us alone. They will follow us. The safety of America depends on the outcome of the battle in the streets of Baghdad."

This drew a harsh response from Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, who offered that the President was "more consumed by staying the course in Iraq and playing election-year politics."

"The American people deserved better last night," said Reid. "They deserved a chance to reclaim that sense of unity, purpose and patriotism that swept through our country five years ago."

Republicans, in turn, defended the President and his Iraq policy, with House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) saying "I listen to my Democrat friends, and I wonder if they're more interested in protecting terrorists than in protecting the American people."

“The President can let Cheney, Rummy and the guys running for Congress fight it out,” said Martins, “using the Fascist, Nazi and Appeaser stuff. That goes over a lot of peoples’ heads. Invoking God and comparing the Democrats to slave owners ... That is something everyday people will understand.”

White House, Military Eyeing Eminent Domain Law To Clear Western Iraq

Following the Washington Post report of a classified document that indicated the situation in Western Iraq was “dire” and “lost politically”, the White House has been huddling with the military to, first, put a new PR spin on the report and to strategize a solution to turn things around.

Sources tell The Garlic that one of the top options on the table, and being heavily discussed, is implementing in Iraq, the President’s “Clean City Act” the measure the White House pushed following last years’ Supreme Court ruling upholding an Eminent Domain case in Connecticut that had the City of New London, Conn. (Kelo v. City of New London, 125 S. Ct. 2655) condemning 15 homes under the eminent domain law, as a means of putting forward an "economic development" plan on behalf of private developers.

“The Clean City Act seems to winning favor,“ offered Dix Whitcomb, editor of the newsletter "Our Laws Are Different"

“The military is open to anything that will give them an upper hand. Where the discussion is,” said Whitcomb, “is whether or not to annex Western Iraq to the United States, so the Supreme Court ruling holds up with taking the property, or to translate something comparable, if possible, in the Iraq Parliament.”

Whitcomb says that, though Cheney and Rumsfeld are “holding out for a military-only option”, the President is eager to use the “Clean City Act”, believing, if successful, it can be used in other areas of Iraq, and the Middle East.”

“They don’t want to characterize it as saving his legacy, but it is pretty close.”

Another option to stabilize Western Iraq that is gaining favor is, if U.N. Ambassador John Bolton is not confirmed to continue in his post, the President will name him as a “Special Envoy” to the Anbar Province and “turn him loose”.

“It’s being said,” confirmed Whitcomb, “that there has been intelligence on chatter that, if Bolton was deployed in Iraq, more than any military action, that scares the bejeezes out of the insurgents. They know they’d be in for an ass-kicking.”

President Bush is now tying his critics to ‘Slave Owners” and is planning to impose Eminent Domain On Anbar Province as a means of curbing the violence and winning his War On Iraq

Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Will Try To Keep John Bolton At The U.N.

News Item: White House Seeks a Way to Keep Bolton at the U.N.

10. Maybe we can get the judge in Saddam’s trial to throw in that Bolton isn’t a dictator either

9. Get him as a late entry on ‘Dancing With The Stars” and then jam the phones lines in voting to keep him

8. Rally public support for it by saying that Congress is appeasing the terrorists if they don’t approve Bolton’s nomination

7. No problem, just issue a Signing Statement on it

6. Appealing to fiscally-conservative Republicans, say the lease commitments Bolton has made to live in New York would cost too much to break

5. Use the same strategy as finding Osama bin Laden - Ignore him, and he can sit up there for years

4. Hmmm ... Let’s see if Armitage and Novak are up to doing some more leaking

3. Although it would demand a major policy shift, claim Bolton is the the center of the war against terrorism and refuse to change anything

2. Since it seemed to generate some good PR for Tom Cruise, have Bolton apologize to Brooke Shields

1. Whatever we do, keep Bolton away from CNN’s Nancy Grace

Retro Look!
Garlic Special - It’s A Bolton Kind Of Thursday!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Ways The Pentagon Plans On Winning Back Western Iraq

News Item: Situation Called Dire in West Iraq; Anbar Is Lost Politically, Marine Analyst Says

10. Who cares? We’re just sitting on it for two years and the next president can figure it out

9. Annex it to Saudi Arabia and let them deal with it

8. Throw’em a curveball - Institute for the Anbar Province the U.S. Office of Special Counsel Dress Code and then just sit back and watch the fur fly

7. Hey stuff happens... We’ll have it cleaned up in a few months and they’ll be greeting us with flowers

6. Until we win it back, we just under-report the casualty count and the White House can claim progress is being made

5. You don’t build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you want, you build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you have

4. Straight from the RNC Playbook - Start labeling the Anbar insurgents as “soft on terrorism” and that they’ll just “cut-and-run” and watch them cower and fold up like a cheap tent

3. Iraqi Congress passes the “Clear Anbar Act” so it would mandate Al Qaeda to reduce the number of insurgents in the area

2. Get Halliburton in there as the Food Service Contractor and their contaminated water will bring Al Qaeda down in a matter of days

1. We’ll replicate our own history: Throw in a Homestead Act, build a railroad and place all the Native Iraqis in reservations

You don’t build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you want, you build a democracy with the Western Iraq that you have

Monday, September 11, 2006

Minced Garlic Trois - Special September 11th Special Comment By Keith Olbermann: “This Hole In The Ground”

Near the end of President Bush’s national address this evening, he took the extraordinary step of crossing GOP swords with the blond, willowy plagiarist Ann Coulter by exploiting actually praising a 9-11 widow, for her two sons - one that joined the Army, the other who joined the FDNY;

"Our nation is blessed to have young Americans like these. And we will need them. Dangerous enemies have declared their intention to destroy our way of life. They are not the first to try, and their fate will be the same as those who tried before. Nine-Eleven showed us why. The attacks were meant to bring us to our knees, and they did. But not in the way the terrorists intended..."

You are so right, Mr. President.

We have enemies who have declared their intentions, such as lying to the American people, abandoning the War On Terror to wage a War Of Choice.

The enemies who ran their fingers down intelligence reports, much like they would a menu in a posh K Street restaurant, until the found the items that they could manipulate, massage, hype and serve up to the American people, barking “You’re either with us, or against us”.

Or the enemies who have declared their intentions by flatly disregarding the United States Constitution, and the elected members of the United States Congress, all but thumping their chests that they don’t have to follow the law of the land. That they can make up their own - or simply sign your name, Mr. President, to a statement, telling those elected members of Congress that you are not going to follow the law of the land.

Maybe, Mr. President, it is the enemies who have declared their intentions by condoning torture of our real enemies - and demanding that the United State Congress pass laws that allow you to condone such torture under the cover of law - perhaps tainted law, but one that you will wave around, much like the schoolyard bully telling everyone that the smaller, weaker, skinny kid started it and you had to smack him around.

Or Mr. President, the enemies who have declared their intentions by throwing away the goodwill that America was known to have, By tearing down the ideals of America and kicking dirt on them, when once they shined like a beacon, the bright ray of hope that promised so many the good, American way of life.

That life, Mr. President, that American life, which has been brought down to its knees, not by the terrorists, but by your own, and your administration’s actions, deeds, philosophies. The many now have to look harder, or elsewhere, to find that once shining beacon that was once the American way of life.

An excerpt from Mr. Olbermann’s very personal, poignant and, as usual, dead on target Special Comment this evening, “This Hole In The Ground”

Terrorists did not come and steal our newly-regained sense of being American first, and political, fiftieth. Nor did the Democrats. Nor did the media. Nor did the people.

The President -- and those around him -- did that.

They promised bi-partisanship, and then showed that to them, "bi-partisanship" meant that their party would rule and the rest would have to follow, or be branded, with ever-escalating hysteria, as morally or intellectually confused, as appeasers, as those who, in the Vice President's words yesterday, "validate the strategy of the terrorists."

They promised protection, and then showed that to them "protection" meant going to war against a despot whose hand they had once shaken, a despot who we now learn from our own Senate Intelligence Committee, hated al-Qaida as much as we did.

The polite phrase for how so many of us were duped into supporting a war, on the false premise that it had 'something to do' with 9/11 is "lying by implication."

The impolite phrase is "impeachable offense."

Read “This Hole In The Ground” in full

Watch the video of Keith Olbermann’s “This Hole In The Ground” on Crooks and Liars

Transcript of President Bush’s Address To The Nation

Breaking and Developing News! ABC Fesses Up

Plan For 'Path To 9-11' Is To Launch ‘Dancing With History’ Series

Establish “Dancing” Franchise In Same Vein As CSI, Law and Order; Disney Signs Coulter for New Death Wish Projects

Following a torrent of criticism, both before and after the broadcasting of Part One of their production “Path To 9-11”, ABC President Robert Iger, flanked by executives of parent company, The Disney Company, held a hastily-called news conference this morning defending their actions and dropping a bombshell.

The film, “Path To 9-11” is intended to launch a new series, “Dancing With History”.

Iger stated that a considerable amount of money as been invested in the project, with budgets set for a slate of “Dancing” or “Path” programs.

“The horse is out of the barn,” said Iger, perhaps a wry reference to the measure passed by the Congress last week, the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act.

“We are looking to develop our “Dancing With The Stars” into a foundation franchise for the network,” continued Iger. “Very much in the same vein as CBS has done with their ‘CSI’ programs or NBC with their ‘Law and Order’ franchise.

Criticism surfaced when it came out that much of the focus of the blame for September 11th by the film was being placed on former President Bill Clinton and his administration, notably Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and National Security Advisor Samuel “Sandy” Berger.

Advance preview copies of “Path To 9-11” were sent out in advance to conservative politicians and pundits, yet denied to moderates and liberals, including members of the Clinton Administration, as well as Historians, both liberal and conservative, who have denounced the actions by ABC to produce and broadcast this film, citing the danger in falsifying and distorting history for the sake of drama.

It has also been charged that conservative and evangelical companies were involved in the production of “Path To 9-11”.

ABC and Disney are planning, said Iger, a blitz of major feature films, television “docudramas” and internet movies, as well as cartoons for children, between now and the 2009, looking to offset any gains by Democrats in the House and Senate that may come in this Fall’s Midterm campaigns and perhaps, influence the 2008 Presidential Elections.

Other “Dancing” or “Path” programs said to be in development include;

Path To Watergate: Did The Democrats Set It All Up?

Path To Bay of Pigs: Would The World Be Safer Now If Kennedy Didn’t Get Cold Feet?

Dancing With The Contras: Was Reagan Right All Along?

Special: Dancing With The Swiftboat Veterans

Coulter Gets Backing, Greenlight For New “Death Wish” Project

Also disclosed in the new conference is that Disney has purchased rights to the “Death Wish” movie franchise (five total, as well as numerous copycat films in the same genre), made popular by the late actor Charles Bronson and that the fabled company built by Walt Disney has signed on conservative, and lightening rod, pundit Ann Coulter, to develop and write “Death Wish” projects.

Coulter is reported to be penning a script that includes her fondest dreams - the “fragging” of Congressman John Murtha and the poisoning of Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens.

A Disney spokesperson, when asked about the possible controversy of Coulter’s penchant for plagiarism, he dismissed it, saying that “we’re counting on that ... It will mean money at the box office.”

Others that Disney is considering bringing into the ‘Death Wish” project include Sean Hannity , Rush Limbaugh, and Pat Robertson.

Disney also announced a deal that will have them distributing the new horror movie classic, ”Republicans On A Plane”.

Conservative, and lightening rod, pundit Ann Coulter has been reportedly signed by Disney and ABC, to write for their new “Death Wish” films, as part of the ‘Dancing With History’ project announced today

News In Brief! Cheney Woozy After MTP, Failed To Continue Nazi Thread

Cheney Briefly Hospitalized After Television Appearance Yesterday

Vice President Complained Of Dizziness After Relentless Spin Session on ‘Meet The Press’

The White House confirmed this morning the Vice President Dick Cheney was briefly hospitalized yesterday, following his relentless spin session on NBC’s ‘Meet The Press’. The report would only say that Cheney complained of dizziness following his appearance.

An aide in the White House tipped off the staff that something may be wrong, when, near the end of the program, Cheney abruptly stopped spinning, when asked by Host Tim Russert “Do you think the President should pardon Scooter Libby?”

Cheney responded “I've said all I'm going to say on the subject, Tim” and rebuffed Russert with the same answer to follow-up questions around the leaking of CIA Agent Valerie Plame’s name.

Cheney was the sole guest on the weekly news program.

Sources tell The Garlic that, upon returning to the White House, Cheney went straight into the Oval Office “like it was his” and “flopped down” on one of the sofas. No one would confirm a rumor floating around the Capital that Cheney passed out.

“We’ve never seen him like this,” offered one White House aide. “Whenever he does the Sunday talk shows, and in particular the one with Fox News, he usually comes back here full of energy and wanting to get straight to work.”

With the Vice President’s history of heart trouble, the White House rushed Cheney to Walter Reed Hospital, where he was examined and released, approximately three-hours later.

Russert Plays Bulldog To Cheney’s Cyclone

On MTP, Cheney was forced into high-speed spinning after being grilled, uncharacteristically aggressively, by Host Tim Russert.

Following running a video clip of the Vice President from 2002, in which Cheney declared "Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction," Russert zeroed in, asking, with the knowledge that we have now that Saddam did not have WMD’s, would Cheney still make the move to invade Iraq.

“Yes,” said the Vice President. "The world is better off because Saddam Hussein is in jail instead of in power in Baghdad. It was the right thing to do and if we had it to do over again, we'd do exactly the same thing."

While not backing away from linking Iraq with Al Qaeda, Cheney reluctantly, but not fully, downplayed linking Iraq with September 11th.

“There are, there are two totally different propositions here, and people have consistently tried to confuse them. And it's important, I think--there's a third proposition, as well, too, and that is Iraq's traditional position as a strong sponsor of terror.

So you've got Iraq and 9/11, no evidence that there's a connection. You've got Iraq and al-Qaeda, testimony from the director of CIA that there was indeed a relationship, Zarqawi in Baghdad, etc. Then the third...”

After being pressed by Russert, over the recently-released Senate Intelligence Committee report that stated there was no link between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda, or that Saddam was involved in the Sept. 11th attacks, Cheney grunted that “I haven't seen the report; I haven't had a chance to read it ...”

And, if one his most deft and adroit spins of the day, after being question by Russert on one of his more enduring predictions, that the Iraq insurgency was “in it’s last throes”, the Vice President, without blinking, turned that around, praising the Iraqis for embracing democracy and being willing to "step up and take on the responsibility for their own fate."

Russert Threatened? Catches Heat From White House For Goading VP

Near the end of the program, sources say, the White House believes that Russert knew Cheney wasn’t feeling well from the amount of spinning he had to power up and intentionally attempted to get Cheney going again, when he brought up hunting, clearly referencing the incident last Fall when the Vice President accidentally shot his friend, and asked “Should I be relieved you didn't bring your shotgun in today?”

Cheney, half-joking, responded with “I wouldn't worry about it. You're not in season.”

NBC immediately ordered extra security for Russert, when the program was over and he was leaving the studio.

“I don’t think we’ve ever seen the Vice President be forced to spin as much as he did,” said Eddie Mars, editor of 'Please Shoot Me', the newsletter that tracks the Fox News Channel. “I had to TIVO the thing a few times ... I thought there were a few points where you could actually see traces of a eye cone forming around Cheney, there was so much spin.”

The White House made no comment on whether the Vice President would be keeping his scheduled appointments today but did give the Vice President mostly high marks for his appearance.

Sources say that President Bush was disappointed, in only that Cheney didn’t continue the thread of tying the War In Iraq and the Global Fight Against Terrorism to the rise of Hitler and the Nazis.

Transcript For Meet The Press - September 10th with Dick Cheney

“Whenever he does the Sunday talk shows, and in particular the one with Fox News, he usually comes back here full of energy and wanting to get straight to work.”

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 10 September 2006

With the trail of Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden said to be "stone cold", the White House is said to be considering placing the terrorist on the sides of milk cartons, with a special hotline number to call if he is sighted

In a desperate move to gain points in the polls, and after using his children in a campaign television commercial last week Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) continued his "personal life" theme, filming a new campaign ad showing how he likes to relax, with his friends , practicing hunting for WMD's

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow displayed the hand signals he uses with President Bush, that tell the President how many times to reference the Nazis or Osama bin Laden in his public speeches

Saying he has learned things over the last five-years, in his fight against global terrorism, President Bush admitted, in hindsight, it would have been better to plaster "as many flags as possible" behind him, rather then the "Mission Accomplished" banner

Former Deputy Defense Secretary, now head of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz is reported to be "badgering the White House about invading Iran" and offering them detailed analysis that such an offensive "would pay for itself in a matter of months"

And, the talk about possible military action against Iran has, according to sources, former New York Times reporter Judith Miller, considering returning to her old job, allegedly telling friends that she misses "hyping up White House and military spin for front page bylined articles

Don’t Believe Everything You Read ... Unless It Comes From Us ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll September 3 - September 9 2006

Well, we don’t believe, after the voting of this past week’s Garlic Poll, that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is seeking anyone to talk about his product and related topics ... Turns out, when asked what he is reading, most voters believe he’s reading his own spin ... Which is, more-or-less, appropriate, since he often, in press conferences, asks and answers his own questions...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll September 3 - September 9 2006

If President Bush is reading Shakespeare, what’s Rumsfeld reading?

1. Forgetting he hired them, the Lincoln Group Tally 29%

2. Mein Kampf Tally 25%

3. Anything by Ann Coulter (Well ... reportedly written by her) Tally 24%

4. Scribbles (In the margins of newspapers) from Dick Cheney Tally 21%

This week’s Poll - With the 5th Anniversary of the attacks on September 11th, we want to find out which is your favorite moment from the Bush Administration

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

President Bush's Plan For Victory ... We're still waiting for it