Quote of the Day!

There has been a fair amount of things to riff on, regarding the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Leading off, by having the luger killed, wasn't the most auspicious start of the games.l

All the X-Game-type sports (too bad Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland aren't around - "Hey Gang, let's make up a Winter Olympic Game!).

And, of course,. Canada's zeal to "dominate the world" via scooping up all the medals, leading Dahlia Lithwick to write a most engaging "Might It Possibly Be OK If We Kick Some Ass?"



Another highlight was NBC, and their "Red Mittens Day", or Mary Carillo's "Where-In-The-World-Is-Canada" schtick, going through Royal Mountie training;

Hooray! Mary Carillo! She's back! With a package about the MOUNTIES. Yes yes yes yes yes. YES. Mary explains that to become a mountie is SERIOUS BUSINESS. Mary goes to the "West Point" of the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police for those of you not down with abbreviations) in Regina, Saskatchewan. Heh. She said "Ree-gina." Do you think the citizens of that town ever try to convince everyone to pronounce it differently? It's cold there. Mary is going to find out what it takes to go from cadet to constable. Mary can't march! Mary giggles when the drill sargeant yells at her! This is a fact: The Mounties were formed to deal with the drunks in the Northwest territories in the 19th century. Mary drives a car! Mary runs around with heavy things! Mary learns to handcuff someone! Mary shoots guns! And then they let her wear a Dudley Do-Right costume, which doesn't seem right. MOUNTIES & CARILLO! FTW! You might have had Ice Dancing, Hankinson, but I got the awesomeness. I WIN.

The NYT's Alessandra Stanley called out the jingoism, and more;

At a time when American athletes are amassing record numbers of medals, and NBC is drawing an impressive number of viewers, sports fans couldn’t ask for more fulsome, pro-American coverage — they could ask for a little less. NBC anchors, including those paid by the news division, glom onto the glamour and reflected glory of winsome champions, as per Matt Lauer’s no-boundaries embrace of the skier Lindsey Vonn on “Today” after she won the downhill race. He draped a chocolate gold medal around her neck, gave her flowers (“just because we adore you”) and hugged her tight (“we are so proud of you”) — as if he and Meredith Vieira had spent the last 15 years rising at dawn to drive her to training.

And, we loved Heather Havrilesky's take, on the Men's Figuring Skating;

Lysacek takes to the ice wearing the evil alien villain garb from "Superman." But they're saying that General Zod isn't in the right frame of mind, based on what they saw during his warm-up. And it's true, he does stumble slightly after one jump, but otherwise he nails them, and ends with a double fist pump. (Doesn't General Zod do a double fist pump when he almost reigns victorious in "Superman II"?)

But the "Money" shots, came last evening, with NBC's over-the-top homage to "The Miracle On Ice", the victory of the USA Hockey team, over the Russians, thirty-years ago.

As my brother questioned, if there's anything, anywhere about the "Miracle On Ice", you will surely find Mike Eruzione there, front-and-center, on-camera, prompting my brother to ask "Is this is career, now?"

All this, to, unnecessarily, hype the hockey match last evening of the USA vs.Canada, in the one Winter Olympic game this year, that the Canadians felt entitlement.

Too bad this article came out today, and not before the broadcast;

How Miraculous Was the Miracle?

Not as much as you think.

And, too bad, the Canadian team lost to the youngsters of the USA, sending the entire country to hit themselves over the head with Labatt bottles, before going into a national funk.

But the Quote of the Day, goes to the always entertaining Charles Pierce, of 'The Boston Globe', jotting down some notes, on the Olympic hockey play.

Just so you know, it wasn't just my brother and I, Pierce also was annoyed by the NBC-Miracle-On-Icepalooza;

And I hate to sound like less of an American than I am, but I'm a little Miracle-On-Ice'd out at this point, especially with Al Michaels, who seems to believe that he landed on Omaha Beach or something 30 years ago.

Amen.

Maybe their thinking, since the USA won hockey Gold in 1960 (the first miracle), than the big upset in 1980, their putting their fingers on the scale that, since this is 2010, a year ending in "Zero", NBC can trump up their own manufactured miracle despite, no clear favorite, just about anyone in the field (Canada, USA, The Russians, Sweden and Finland) can win the thing.

The next Winter Olympics ending in "Zero" will be 2030, and, should the lads of the USA take it, you can rest assured, Al Michaels, and Mike Eurizone, will be there, in 2030, hyping "The Miracle", once again.

Retro Garlic: Ahhhh ... We Called It ... Leno Moving Back To 11:30

Oh boy, did we beam a big smile when the NYT News Alert dropped in the mailbox, shouting "NBC Plan Would Move Leno to Late Nights."



Seems that there be some shakin' going on at 30 Rockerfeller, and as the TMZ headline says, "NBC Shakeup -- Jay Leno Comes Out on Top."

The Winter Olympics are going to kill off the 10PM disaster that Leno helmed, and, when the network comes back, it's "Hereeeeee's Jay", at 11:30.

From Bill Carter, at the NYT Media Decoder;

And while NBC officially said no final decision on the plan had been made, two senior NBC executives who had talked to the top management about the moves said that under the plan being discussed, Mr. Leno would definitely shift back to 11:35 but in a half-hour format, while Mr. O’Brien would slide back his start time by a half hour and then produce an hourlong show.

But, in an earlier post, Carter had this;

Mr. O’Brien, meanwhile, has seen his own ratings suffer. He has trailed the CBS late-night star David Letterman by about two million viewers a night. Mr. Leno had easily been the winner in that time period previously.

Me smells The Godfather/Clemenza treatment coming up for Conan;

"How's Conan? ... Oh, Conan. You won't see him no more."

Linda Holmes, on NPR;

Whether putting Jay Leno back at 11:30, if that's what they decide to do, is the right move or not -- that remains to be seen. It's certainly depressing, content-wise, for those of us who greatly prefer O'Brien's style to Leno's and hoped that when this all went kablooey, Jay would be the one who moved on. In any event, a couple of the network's executives are about to face a giant room full of TV critics, so they're going to wind up having to say something.

Now, The Retro Part (and, remember, from above, about Conan's shrinking ratings);

A Safety Valve, Dressed In Jay Leno's Timeslot

But here's the unspoken reason NBC was so hot to do this deal;

They wanted Leno in-the-house, as a safety valve, should Conan O'Brien crash-and-burn with moving from his off-beat 12:30AM time slot, to the primo, 11:30 Tonight Show shrine.

Leno establishes the 10PM time slot, makes it workable, and, then, after some major ego pampering, and dancing-on-eggshells PR, Leno bumps back to the 11:30PM Tonight Show, to pull it out of the ratings (i.e. losing money) ashes.

[snip]

This time, they're keeping Leno in-the-house, as a "just-in-case".

And don't think Conan O'Brien doesn't know it.

Jesus, he has Leno staring at him for an hour before he goes on.

Pressure? ... What pressure?

Now, if the Olympics really end up sucking ...

Let's Give It To Chuckie T ... He'll Ask It!

Well, let's give the boy a hand.

Maybe he cribbed notes, from a reporter sitting near him, or, perhaps, he finally went out and bought the book "How To Ask Questions At Press Conferences for Dummies", then again, it could be all that training for the new show he's being handed.



In any case, Chuck Todd of NBC disappointed the Obama Team by actually asking a rather pertinent question last evening, during the President's Prime Time News Conference.

We couldn't see if Chuckie T. was wearing an earpiece, so some editor could spoon fed him a question to ask.

You know, that had to cross the NBC suits' minds, after the previous two Press Conferences, when Our Man Chuck stood up and drooled all over himself, querying the President with questions straight out of Michelle Bachmann's universe.

It wouldn’t surprise me if his co-workers are calling Chuckie T. "The Mailman" today, cuz, last night, Chuckie T. delivered!

Here's how it went;

Chuck Todd.

QUESTION: Thank you, Mr. President. Want to move to Pakistan. Pakistan appears to be at war with the Taliban inside their own country.

MR. OBAMA: Right.

QUESTION: Can you reassure the American people that, if necessary, America could secure Pakistan's nuclear arsenal and keep it from getting into the Taliban's hands, or worst-case scenario, even al Qaeda's hands?

Not bad ... Not bad ...

Pakistan has been in the news, it's a hot spot, lots of things going on there.

And, as to the news conference, the big 100 Days Extravaganza, aces all around for the President, particularly, Tom Shales, at the WaPo;

The questions put to Barack Obama at his news conference last night covered nearly every topic but the Craigslist Killer, and if that had come up, Obama probably would have answered it in stride.

[Snip]

He's not the student who wears a button that says, "Smartest kid in class," but clearly he is, at least when surrounded by the White House press corps.

Obama can use a five-dollar word such as "overarching" in one sentence and a few sentences later utter a folksy "doggone it." His verbiage is a melting pot that's always bubbling. A few times, he did stumble over words, and once or twice appeared semantically stranded, unable to find the precise language he wanted to use. But compare him with his predecessor and such moments seem trifling.

And, dig what he had to say about "The best political team on television", and MSNBC;

Meanwhile, CNN, in what looked an awful lot like desperation, embedded the news conference in a day-long (or is it week-long) gimmicky "National Report Card" routine, as hired experts and members of Congress rated the president on this and that. Graphically speaking, it was a mess, and one sympathized with Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer and other CNN talents caught up in one of those Producers' Brainstorms that didn't work.

[Snip]

MSNBC showed its strengths -- at least two of them, anyway -- by going to ravaging Keith Olbermann and ravishing Rachel Maddow. Two smart people are a lot better than an arsenal of computerly contraptions.

Yeah, the sun is shining all over NBC, and MSNBC today.

Chuckie T. got his question straight.

A Safety Valve, Dressed In Jay Leno's Timeslot

Color me skeptical.

Most of the television talking heads today, were all ga-ga over the news that broke last evening, that Jay Leno was being retained by NBC and handed a 10:00PM, Prime-Time time slot, beginning next Fall.

Where Is Leno Going? To Prime Time, on NBC

The network will announce Tuesday that Mr. Leno’s new show will appear at 10 o’clock each weeknight in a format similar to “The Tonight Show,” which hehas hosted since 1993.

Five years ago NBC announced that it would hand the job of host of that franchise show to Conan O’Brien in May 2009. Since then the network has maneuvered to try to keep Mr. Leno, who continues to be the late-night ratings leader, fearing that he could leave and start a new late-night show on a competitor’s network. “The Tonight Show” is seen at 11:35 weeknights.

Most of the discussions that abounded on the tube today, payed lip service to Leno's "political humor", and droned on-and-on about how "smart" NBC was, in that producing the "Tonight Show Lite" at 10PM will be so, so much cheaper than developing an hour-long drama.

Though Mr. Leno will command an enormous salary, probably more than $30 million a year, the cost of his show will be a fraction of what a network pays for dramas at 10 p.m. Those average about $3 million an episode. That adds up to $15 million a week to fill the 10 p.m. hour. Mr. Leno’s show is expected to cost less than $2 million a week.

In addition, NBC will get more weeks of original programming. Network dramas typically make 22 to 24 episodes a year. Under this deal, the executives involved in the discussions said, Mr. Leno will perform 46 weeks a year.

Lip service was also paid to (even by Leno, himself, on with Olbermann this evening), on the changing viewing habits, how, overall, television programming is changing and evolving.

And, it was noted today, by Bill Carter, the NYT reporter, on MSNBC today, that Leno had a deal-in-hand with ABC, but couldn't act on it while still under contract with NBC.

Here's where you can pull out the crayons, and my skepticism kicks in.

Surely, saving millions and covering hours of program was a motivation for NBC.

And they will pull in viewers, initially, anyway, with the uniqueness of it.

But here's the unspoken reason NBC was so hot to do this deal;

They wanted Leno in-the-house, as a safety valve, should Conan O'Brien crash-and-burn with moving from his off-beat 12:30AM time slot, to the primo, 11:30 Tonight Show shrine.

Leno establishes the 10PM time slot, makes it workable, and, then, after some major ego pampering, and dancing-on-eggshells PR, Leno bumps back to the 11:30PM Tonight Show, to pull it out of the ratings (i.e. losing money) ashes.

Want precedent?

Go back to when Carson retired, and all the anguished hand wringing, whether to move Letterman from 12:30PM, to Carson's seat, or hand it over to the trusted, steady fill-in host, Leno.

They lost Letterman to CBS.

Fool me once, shame on you ...

This time, they're keeping Leno in-the-house, as a "just-in-case".

And don't think Conan O'Brien doesn't know it.

Jesus, he has Leno staring at him for an hour before he goes on.

Pressure? ... What pressure?

Meet The Freakshow Defender

Gregory, 38, celebrated his 30th birthday — complete with cake — aboard George W. Bush’s presidential campaign plane, the assignment that solidified his stature as a network rising star.

And to think, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McKKKain only rated donuts.

If it's Sunday, and if it's David Gregory, it's Meet The Freakshow Defender!

David Gregory, the fourth, from the lost episode, of 'My Three Sons', gets the A-Ticket.

I think Bob Cesca hit this one good;

David Gregory will be the permanent host of Meet the Press. Expect many more years of false equivalencies and fake balance.

Rumors abounded, and now Mike Allen, another pantheon of objective journalism, is confirming that "Stretch" (that's The Commander Guys affectionate moniker for him) is going to take over Little Timmy Russert's job, being, not making phone calls, not asking needed, uncomfortable questions, unless it's a long winded "Gotcha" softball, with the on-screen quotes.

Errr, excuse me, he's talked about being named host of NBC's dinosaur, Meet The Press.

The title of “moderator” — unique in network news — reflects the 61-year history of “Meet” as the premier forum for Washington insiders to talk to the country and each other.

Yeah, you certainly don't want to break tradition of 61-years of a boring, and boorish, white guy anchoring the show

And, heaven forbid, if there's not a network "news" show where Washington insiders can sit and talk, free from actually having to be held accountable for any policies or actions they undertook, rather, let's give them a "premier forum" to regurgitate their self-serving talking points, without any needlesome, penetrating questions.

Yep, Karl Rove's dancing partner will slide right into Little Timmy Russert's chair like it's a custom-fit Isitoner glove.

For instance;

David Gregory cherry picks polls to favor McCain

David Gregory Worries About Obama’s Glow

Ignoring McCain's efforts to satisfy conservative base, NBC's Gregory touted McCain's "brand" as "being a maverick and being anti-politics"

Gregory: Bush ‘didn’t jump to invade Iraq’ after 9/11

NBC's David Gregory thinks we just need to "strip away" Ann Coulter's inflammatory rhetoric to listen to her points

Hmmm ... Stretch having a few bad days, or, perhaps, a defining pattern, his "journalistic fingerprint"?

Oh, you want something a little more recent?

From Todd Gitlen's "Meet the Shallows";

Here he was his penetrating question of Sen. John Thune (R, SD) at midnight after Sarah Palin's St. Paul speech: "Senator [John] Thune, was a star born here tonight with Sarah Palin?"

Charter member of the Mommy Moose Fan Club

As with most of Gregory's time on television, the only thing missing is his red, GOP pom poms.

Just what we need, for another decade, or so, assuming, certainly, that 'Meet The Press" remains that "premier forum" for Washington Insiders to talk to each other, for it sure doesn't sound like David Gregory is going to rock that swift boat.

Looks like I'll have an extra free hour come Sunday mornings.


Bonus Stretch Riffs

Andrew Malcolm: Looks like David Gregory gets Tim Russert's chair on 'Meet the Press'

The Heretik: No Doubt

Tina Brown: Washington's Other Transition ... How is it Obama can fill a Cabinet faster than NBC can replace Tim Russert?

Everybody, Give A Big Hand! ... Let's Welcome NBC's David Gregory To The Freak Show!

Developing Story - MSNBC Making Pitches To Become Eulogy Channel

Developing Story - MSNBC Making Pitches To Become Eulogy Channel

Sources tell The Garlic that executives at NBC and MSNBC, buoyed by, surprisingly, extremely strong overnight ratings, have quickly put together a crack team of producers and advertising salespeople and are, quietly, pitching to Fortune 500 companies, as well as other large public and private institutions, the opportunity to have their leaders eulogized and remembered in the same manner that NBC/MSNBC has done for, the now departed, Tim Russert.

To drive the sense of urgency to the prospective purchasers of what NBC/MSNBC is calling "Eulogy Packages", the sales brochure is being sent with a complimentary Buffalo Bills cap, and miniature erasable white board.

As we continue to review the voluminous sales package provided by our source, NBC/MSNBC are offering a vast array of options, from special, highlighted news item mentions, to by-the-hour tributes, to multiple day, 24/7 broadcasting, complete with NBC/MSNBC, and CNBC on-air talent.

"This is extremely ambitious," offered Bruno Anthony, editor of "The Final Close-Up", an on-line newsletter that tracks the amount of time television news programs allot to the death of prominent persons. "This has never been done before ... Proactively selling airtime for this purpose ... For death ..."

"It's one thing if the deceased is already in the news, a promient politician, businessman, or, celebrity," continued Anthony. "But this can open up serious ethical and standards questions ... Like, if you don't pay, will NBC not report your death?"

Pricing is steep, ranging from high-five-and-six-figures, and significantly higher.

One package, the top, or Gold Plan, is the most expensive.

The Gold Plan is available only to those person who have been interviewed, on-air, by the late Tim Russert.

This is a multiple-day tribute package, with the Russert interview of the deceased customer being broadcast in prime time.

And to protect the exclusivity of this Gold Plan, NBC/MSNBC, as they continue, into the 4th day now, their "Remembering Tim Russert", will only broadcast B-Roll of Russert interviewing colleagues, or making appearances on the various NBC or MSNBC programs.

All NBC/MSNBC on-air talent under contract are available for these Eulogy Packages, with three - Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann and Andrea Mitchell - positioned at the higher pricing.

Additionally, throughout the sales package, upselling of combo-talent, having multiple NBC/MSNBC persons waxing on about the deceased, is encouraged.

Only two CNBC on-air talent - Erin Burnett and Margaret Brennan - are referenced as being available in these Eulogy Packages.

As to non-NBC/MSNBC on-air talent, the talking heads, those are priced ala carte, and subject to availability.

Of those mentioned in the sales package, included Mike Barnicle, Lawrence O'Donnell, Bob Shrum, Al Hunt, Hillary Rosen, Eugene Robinson, Rachel Maddow, and a host of others, with the deceased having to provide scripts of what they want discussed, or how the pundits should describe the dead customer.

Former MSNBC on-air talent Rita Cosby is not offered in any of the Eulogy Packages, however, MSNBC will provide contact information for the deceased purchasing a plan to negotiate with Cosby directly.

Special Doc Blocks are also available, with pricing noted as TBD.

The NBC/MSNBC sales package also notes that all costs reflect in-studio work only.

The deceased purchasing any of the Eulogy Package plans will incur additional costs if they wish to have on-site events included, such as funerals, memorial services, hospital watches, and candlelight vigils.

Protesters can also be included for an additional fee.

One whimsical offering comes with the 'Today' Program.

As with most of the Eulogy Packages, for an additional fee, the deceased's burial location can be included as a stop, in the 'Today' program's feature, "Where In The World Is Matt Lauer", with the 'Today' program of that day being built around the deceased package purchaser.

Anthony sees this as a heavy push for NBC/MSNBC, with a "striking while the iron is hot" mentality.

"It could be big, they can see the dollar signs adding up," says Anthony.

"And, you're likely to see them continuing to roll out "Remembering Tim Russert" programming... That's their biggest sales tool ... This will go on for days ... Probably, weeks ... "


Bonus Remember Tim Russert Riffs

Barry Crimmins: Overkill

Dennis Perrin: No Moment Of Silence

We've Gone Well Past The 15-Minutes Thing ...

Little Russ Gone ...

Everybody, Give A Big Hand! ... Let's Welcome NBC's David Gregory To The Freak Show!

Boy, this one nearly knocked me off my seat.

No doubt, the blood sugar may have been a bit low, the morning caffeine hadn’t kicked in yet, and there was the inevitable let down of seeing the Cheneypalooza end last night.

What was this dizzying, shocking, surprising entity that provided this momentary dysfunction?

NBC's David Gregory thinks we just need to "strip away" Ann Coulter's inflammatory rhetoric to listen to her points

Boy, David, as Desi would say to Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do.

Do we have to get John Fund, Dorothy Rabinowitz or Richard Cohen to meet up with you, offering instructions on pulling your head out of your ass? Or can you manage that on your own?

Are you miffed, that the slobbering, fawning, drooling Chris Matthews didn't included a Rap segment on his show with The Coulterzilla the other day? Something you could have just happened to drop by on, and flash those same suave moves you displayed when dancing with Karl Rove?

And this isn't the first time you've used the Rightside/Freak Show smear points in your reporting.

This talk with Elizabeth Edwards ... You dragged out the now-ever-so-tired slam of the expensive haircut, paid speeches (though, to be "fair and balanced", no mention of Rudy911 and his goldmine speaking tour) and then chided Mrs. Edwards that she should have pushed aside all the bullshit Coulterzilla was firing at her and pay attention to "the point she's trying to make" behind it

To her credit, Mrs. Edwards, after laughing at Gregory, delivered a crisp response that basically said "Hey, if you want to side with Coulter, and you don't like my husband, don't vote for him"

Interesting also, in defending Coulterzilla, Gregory left out of the interview how Coulterzilla, just a few days ago, put forth “if I’m going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I’ll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.”

What was the point behind that one, Gregory?

So David, are you going to go for the gold watch with the Peacock Network, or do we soon see a Press Release fired out on you joining Fox News?

You certainly seem to be going out of your way to impress them.

To steal from a Fox Noise program, "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day"










Links

Mrs. Edwards responds to Coulter; June 28: She talks to NBC's David Gregory about the clash with Ann and how she hopes "people will speak out" against hate speech (Video)

Edwards equates Coulter’s words to racist ones; Presidential candidate’s wife calls commentator’s remarks ‘hate language’

Losers

Bloggers Are Foul-Mouthed Cranks

Bashing Elizabeth Edwards

Top Ten Cloves: Other Ways NBC Thought About Announcing They Were Calling Iraq A Civil War

News Item: This Just In: Matt Lauer Says Iraq in Midst of Civil War

10. Thought about putting it in one of the “Deal Or No Deal” briefcases, but couldn’t predict when that one would be picked

9. With Jack Welch finally gone, they could take a few chances without being yelled at

8. Was going to have Brian Williams apologize for the delay in calling it a Civil War

7. One Hour Special of Tim Russert holding up his little white board with the words “Civil War” written on it

6. Patricia Arquette came to them with a premonition

5. New Thursday night “Must-Account-For-Civil-War-TV!

4. Hardball’s Chris Matthews was nearly foaming at the mouth against calling it a Civil War, so we knew we had to go the other way

3. Three-episode storyline in new show “Friday Night Lights”

2. CNBC’s Jim Kramer had been ranting for weeks “Booyah! Civil War” and news division thought there might be something to it

1. Was waiting for Katie Couric to leave before making the announcement

New Thursday night “Must-Account-For-Civil-War-TV!