Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Hola amigos y amigas ...

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!



Cinco de Mayo is;

a voluntarily observed holiday that commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.[2][3] It is celebrated primarily in the state of Puebla and in the United States.[4][5][6][7] While Cinco de Mayo has limited significance nationwide in Mexico, the date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride.[8] Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico's Independence Day,[9] the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico.[10]

Oh, and such an especial Cinco de Mayo this year, with the backdrop of the budding fascism in Arizona.

Seth Meyers, on SNL last week, had one of the better riffs on it;

Myers: This week, Arizona signed the toughest illegal immigration law in the country which will allow police to demand identification papers from anyone they suspect is in the country illegally. I know there’s some people in Arizona worried that Obama is acting like Hitler, but could we all agree that there’s nothing more Nazi than saying "Show me your papers?" There’s never been a World War II movie that didn’t include the line "show me your papers." It’s their catchphrase. Every time someone says "show me your papers," Hitler’s family gets a residual check. So heads up, Arizona; that’s fascism. I know, I know, it’s a dry fascism, but it’s still fascism.

The Major League Baseball Players Union is against the new law...

Even Texas Governor Rick Perry is "Freaked Out".

And, just yesterday, Phoenix Sun owner Robert Sarver announced the team will wear "Los Suns" jerseys of their playoff match-up with San Antonio (and Sun player Steve Nash chipped in that "I think the law is very misguided.")

So, for Cinco de Mayo, we go with a tune, while not definitively Mexican, and we, fairly recently posted it, it is in the spirit of the day, sure to get your toes tappin'

WEATHER REPORT brown street 1979




Bonus Links

David Sirota: GOP's past gives the lie to "colorblind" claims ...Republicans claim Arizona's new immigration law has nothing to do with racial profiling. Oh please

Linda Greenhouse: Breathing While Undocumented

Eugene Robinson: Arizona's new immigration law is an act of vengeance

Mark Karlin: Bush, Slave Labor and Arizona

Tijuana Gift Shop

Sorry, Garlic Fans, we be dry tonight, having worked away the day on the homefront, leaving little time (and less energy) to sit down and be creative.

We would like to bring your attention to a brewing pissing contest, over on The Reaction (where this writer is a Contributing Editor), and the on-going documentation of the "Craziest Republicans", by Michael Stickings.



Yesterday (Wednesday), Michael posted "Craziest Republican of the Day: Pat Bertroche", the PartyofNoican doctor running for Congress in Iowa.

The good Dr. Bertoche offered this, as a solution to the illegal immigration crisis;

I think we should catch 'em, we should document 'em, make sure we know where they are and where they are going. I actually support microchipping them. I can microchip my dog so I can find it. Why can't I microchip an illegal? That's not a popular thing to say, but it's a lot cheaper than building a fence they can tunnel under.

Well, Michael ripped him a new one, and the good Dr. Bertoche replied back, in a comment, that your can read HERE.

So, take a jaunt over there, and offer the good doctor some advice, about the "hysteria bandwagon" and "kool-aid" that he alleges we have been drinking, in attempting to gloss over his head-up-ass immigration advice.



You can do so, accompanied by the great Charles Mingus.

We had hoped to post the fiery "Ysabel's Table Dance", but, alas, it's not up on YouTube, so you get something a bit more whimsical (both tunes are off Mingus's 'Tijuana Moods' album).

Tijuana Gift Shop-Charles Mingus

Top Ten Cloves: New Jobs Being Considered By Lou Dobbs

News Item: Lou Dobbs Leaves CNN to Pursue Activist Role



10. Become a Vampire Novelist

9. Front a buy of an NFL team for his buddy, Rushbo

8. Plans on stalking Howard Dean

7. Devote the rest of his life to curing leprosy

6. Launch Moon.Com, and start the franchise for Moon water

5. Become front man for Liz Cheney's group 'Keep America Safe'

4. Devote the rest of his life to digging out President Obama's birth certificate

3. Rumor is Lou off to Taco Bell, to be the straight man for the little dog

2. Team up with Lady Gaga, for a duo act

1. Just go out and build the cotton-pickin' border fence himself!


Bonus Lou Dobbs Riffs

CAP News: Lou Dobbs To Host Immigration Reality Show

Paul Krugman: Lou Dobbs

Will Bunch - Attytood: It's "Taps" for Dobbs

Joe Sudbay: CNN's on-air racist, Lou Dobbs, is gone after tonight's show

Thers - Late Night: Lou Dobbs Likely to Annoy Nation in New Capacity

No Doubt, Lou Dobbs Will Go Absolut-ely Apocalyptic

Quick, Someome Call The Lifetime Channel!

Is this a made-for-television movie, or what?

Mayor quits job for gay illegal immigrant he loves

Only two weeks after being elected to serve his fourth term, Mayor J.W. Lown of San Angelo submitted his resignation letter Tuesday from an undisclosed location in Mexico.

[snip]

Lown told the San Angelo Standard-Times he had fallen for the man in March, after he had already filed for re-election. The man came to the U.S. five years ago to study at Angelo State University.

It was unclear whether he had a student visa, but if he did it apparently had expired.

Lown told the Standard-Times he chose not to take the oath of office while “aiding and assisting” a person who was illegally in the country.

Lown had been an extraordinarily popular mayor. Only 32 years old, he was elected in 2003 as the city’s youngest mayor. Serving in an office that inevitably requires decisions that accumulate enemies, he managed to get re-elected three times with increasing margins of victory each time. Two weeks ago he defeated two challengers by garnering 89 percent of the vote.

Lown did not give the name of his lover, but said he planned to stay in Mexico to try to obtain a visa so that his partner can return with him if “the people of San Angelo will welcome me back.”

Holy Cow!

Talk about hitting the jackpot!

Love, sex, politics, hot topic issue of Illegal Immigration, against the backdrop of a small, dusty town.

Think Last Picture Show meets Will and Grace (like Eric McCormick isn't going to play this love-stricken mayor?)

And, can't you just see this playing, on Lifetime, perhaps the "E" Channel, maybe even a HBO big bang (no pun intended) mini-series?

Of course, there'll have to be a cameo by Lou Dobbs, or Pat Buchanan, deep into a foaming-mouth rant against illegal immigration, now corrupting our politics, surely leading to, in a matter of days, or weeks, the country turning Communist

I smell September Sweeps ...


Bonus Links

Bob Cesca: For Marriage

John Amato: David Shuster destroys NOM's Brian S. Brown over their misleading ad against gay marriage

Matt Corley: Former McCain campaign chief endorses same-sex marriage

"Prop 8 - The Musical"

What Would Joseph Smith Do?

Retro Garlic: Life Imitating The Garlic - U.S. Military Will Offer Path to Citizenship

Oh boy, do we love when this happens.

Numerous times, life and The Garlic have merged (you can look HERE and HERE).

Today, we have another Retro Garlic.

Actually, it should be a Retro-Retro Garlic, as we have riffed on this very topic previously.

Last night, we espied this headline;

U.S. Military Will Offer Path to Citizenship

Stretched thin in Afghanistan and Iraq, the American military will begin recruiting skilled immigrants who are living in this country with temporary visas, offering them the chance to become United States citizens in as little as six months.

We weren't sure if that strange sound we heard, simultaneously, was that of Lou Dobb's head exploding, or the Right Wing Freak Show running for their torches and pitchforks, which will surely be likely to occur.

I mean, what are they going to do with all that pent-up xenophobia and jingoism?

First they take our jobs, our seats in schools and clog up our hospitals, now they want to take over the military?

What will become of the Arizona Minutemen?... The thousands-of-miles wall?



Who wants the American dream, sprinkled with a little picante?

2012 and the Rule of Sarah can't come fast enough, heh?

More from the NYT article;

“The Army will gain in its strength in human capital,” General Freakley said, “and the immigrants will gain their citizenship and get on a ramp to the American dream.”

[Snip]

Pentagon officials expect that the lure of accelerated citizenship will be powerful. Under a statute invoked in 2002 by the Bush administration, immigrants who serve in the military can apply to become citizens on the first day of active service, and they can take the oath in as little as six months.

For foreigners who come to work or study in the United States on temporary visas, the path to citizenship is uncertain and at best agonizingly long, often lasting more than a decade. The military also waives naturalization fees, which are at least $675.

To enlist, temporary immigrants will have to prove that they have lived in the United States for two years and have not been out of the country for longer than 90 days during that time. They will have to pass an English test.

The Retro Part, from April 2006 ...

“They’re coming here for the American experience” ... Rumsfeld Weighs In On Immigration Battle; Won’t Tie It To War With Iran ... Suggests Army Recruiting Woes Could Be Solved With Mandatory Service By Illegal Aliens

In a freewheeling exchange with reporters this afternoon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld suggested that “a stint in the Army” would solve the immigration problem facing the country.

[Snip]

Asked a follow-up question, Rumsfeld said flatly, “Conscripts,”

“We simply make it a policy, if you want to enter this country, or, if we find out you’ve entered illegally, you serve a stretch in the Army, or go back to whatever village or bungalow you came from.”

[Snip]

“They’re coming here for the American experience”

‘That’s absurd,” Rumsfeld squinted. ““They’ll get three-squares-a-day and it pays a helluva lot better then picking lettuce, or grapes, or whatever it is they do ...”

“I mean,” added the Secretary, “they’re coming here for the American experience ... the American Dream ... What could possibly embody that more than by serving in your country’s armed forces?”

Asked if he, or the Pentagon, would make special accommodations for such illegal immigrants to enter the military, such as bi-lingual instructions, or the need for interpreters, Rumsfeld glared at the reporter.

“Now think about that for a second,” Rumsfeld shot back, dripping with disdain. “In the heat of battle, you, or some other bleeding-heart liberal, is going to expect the U.S. Army to issue dictionaries, with bullets flying overhead, and bombs bursting in front of you, so the commander of the unit can issue orders in two languages? What planet are you from?”

Rumsfeld said he would expect any such conscript to learn English, before they get to boot camp.

“I suspect a great many of them already speak English. The busboy at the restaurant I like to go to knows all the television shows ... the sports scores. Sure, he has an accent, but he speaks English fine.”

We can't say "we wished we made this stuff up."

We did.

Bonus Immigration Riffs

Bush Immigration Plan Gets "Some Influence" ... White House May Employ Lincoln Group In Border, Immigration Clash ...Unlike Iraqi Program, PR Firm Will Plant Anti-American Stories in Mexican Media

Top Ten Cloves: Problems The Illegal Immigrant Boycott Caused The White House Yesterday

Breaking News - Congress Said Will “Clean President’s Clock” On Immigration ... Bush Adds Color-Coded Border Alert Chart To Immigration Plan ...Neocons Upset With Shift In White House Strategy: Speech Offered No “Ties To Sadam ... Imminent Mushroom Clouds”

Ahmadinejad “Sort Of An Islamic Lyndon LaRouche”; Said To Have Made Offer To Mexico ...Ahmadinejad Claims Letter A Hoax, Cites Propaganda, Prelude To U.S. Invasion ...Other World Leaders Received Similar Tomes; Mexico Offered Iran National Guard Deployed on Their Side of Border

No Doubt, Lou Dobbs Will Go Absolut-ely Apocalyptic

If I were in the predictions game, I might go out, on a very short limb, and say Lou Dobbs will soon be calling for a boycott of Absolut Vodka.

The Right Wing Freakshow is all atwitter today, with an ad campaign that conjures up the image of the mythical land of Aztlan, apparently found on, or tipped off to, a blog of a Latin American Editor and Journalist.

In a perfect world, our loved ones wouldn’t die leaving us terribly saddened and alone. But in an “Absolut World,” wonderful things can happen, including getting the U.S.-Mexico border straight once and for all. (This print ad was taken from the current issue of Quién magazine, in Mexico City.)

Hmmm ... Think I'll have to whip up a batch of Vodka-and-Tonics tonight, kick back and watch Lou Dobbs meltdown

Ahh, screw Lou Dobbs ...

Better to fire up some Ruben Blades

Pedro Navaja. Ruben Blades & Seis del Solar




Azucar!, Laura Martinez!

Retro Garlic ... Cómo Se Dices "You're In The Army Now

Well, it appears that life and The Garlic are crossing paths again ...

Noticed this over the weekend;

Immigration bill offers a military path to US dream

And the caveat;

"The Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act, or DREAM Act, is part of the stalled package of proposals that many in Congress are seeking to resurrect. The proposal, applicable to an estimated 750,000 undocumented residents of military age, stipulates that those who arrived in the United States before age 16, graduated from high school, and meet other qualifications could immediately enter the path to citizenship in exchange for at least two years' service in the armed forces."

Now, back in April, 2006, The Garlic riffed, placing then Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld waxing on Immigration

Rumsfeld Weighs In On Immigration Battle; Won’t Tie It To War With Iran; Suggests Army Recruiting Woes Could Be Solved With Mandatory Service By Illegal Aliens

Rumsfeld offers, among other things that;

"They’ll get three-squares-a-day and it pays a helluva lot better then picking lettuce, or grapes, or whatever it is they do ...”

“I mean,” added the Secretary, “they’re coming here for the American experience ... the American Dream ... What could possibly embody that more than by serving in your country’s armed forces?”














Bonus Links

DREAM Act

Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense

The Armageddon Plan

It's About The Legacy, Stupid! ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Well, maybe he'll start calling himself "Banner Guy"

Our Garlic Poll Voters seem to think that "The Commander Guy's" heavy push to get his (not anyone else's) Immigration Bill has to be due to he's got the banner ready and, perhaps, the aircraft carrier booked.

Now, it could be that he's already counting the gate receipts for his library in his head, but more likely it was about the only thing that he could pin on that quickly evaporating legacy.

The Iraq Occupation isn't going to do it for him ... His Injustice Department has virtually collapsed ... The Courts are putting a pin in his "Enemy Combatant" balloon and Congress is set to restore Habeas Corpus... Lastly, there's that Scooter Libby matter hanging - almost literally - out there ..

And today, news of that the judges sitting in on immigration cases went through the same Republican Red Play-Doh mold that Monica Goodling employed at the DOIJ (Department of Injustice).

What's an Imperialistic President to do?

It seems, not much. He's vowed to keep pushing the immigration thing and he's still standing up his Crony General Alberto Gonzales.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll June 4 - June 10, 2007

President Bush is so anxious to push his Immigration Bill forward because ...

1. Got a deal on banners and has the "Immigration Accomplished" one sitting around, collecting dust Tally 35%

2. Sees 12-million potential visitors to the George W. Bush Library down-the-line Tally 33%

3. Itching to start calling himself "El Comandante Guy" Tally 18%

4. It's the only thing Dick Cheney doesn’t override him on Tally 14%

This week’s Poll - Since a new poll shows that a majority of Republicans don't believe in the Theory of Evolution, we can look for ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote


He has the "Immigration Accomplished" banner ready and waiting to be hung

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation"

Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

Pregame preparations for Super Bowl XLI came to a screeching halt today, after Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) threatened to seek a court injunction to ban the big game.

Tancredo is upset that, for the first time in its' history, the Super Bowl will be coached by two African-Americans.

On Sunday, in Miami, the Indianapolis Colts will face the Chicago Bears for the NFL Championship, led by Tony Dungy of the Colts and Lovie Smith with the Bears.

"It is utterly hypocritical for the NFL to extol the virtues of a color-blind league while officially sanctioning coaches that are based solely on race," said Tancredo.

Tancredo made his threats, to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, after reports the Congressman said were made to him, that freshman Rep. Stephen Cohen (D-TN ) could not join the coaching staffs of either Super Bowl team because he is white.

It's not clear if Tancredo is taking this action separately from his call last week, to abolish the Black and Hispanic Caucuses in Congress due to membership in the groups is based on race.

Cohen issued a statement, echoing one made by the National Review, saying "Tom Tancredo is an idiot."

Cohen states he has not applied for an NFL coaching job with Indianapolis or Chicago "or any other team."

"I plan on, like thousands of my constituents, of watching the game on television with family and friends."

Tancredo, in has call to abolish the Black and Hispanic Caucuses, cited a report that Cohen had applied for membership in the Black Caucus and was denied based on that he is white.

Senator Joe Biden (D-MD), who announced his intentions of running for president yesterday, came to the defense of Dungy and Smith, saying the first mainstream African American [coaches] who are articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking guys. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

Controversy is no stranger to Congressman Tancredo, who, in the past, has called for the United States to merge with Mexico and Canada, and for the bombing of Mecca. Rolling Stone Magazine has voted Tancredo one of the top Worst Congressmen.

Tancredo, a fierce advocate of stricter immigration laws, says that he "is angry."

The Colorado Congressman states he's asked the officials in Miami, officials in Florida, and even has been asked the White House, for some emergency funding and action to erect 7-miles of the 700-mile fence he's called for at the border, outside the Super Bowl.

"They'll be pouring into the Super Bowl," lamented Tancredo, "denying good, hard-working American citizens the chance to take a seat at the biggest game of the year."

Tancredo, when reached by The Garlic, would not confirm that he plans on halting the Super Bowl, however, he indicated that he has made arrangements for the Arizona Minutemen sit in lawn chairs outside of Joe Robbie Stadium in Miami, and monitor the fans attending the Super Bowel for any illegal immigrants.













"It is utterly hypocritical for the NFL to extol the virtues of a color-blind league while officially sanctioning coaches that are based solely on race," said Tancredo.