It's Turquoise Watch For The Loofah Man

The Grand Ayatollah of Ignorant Dolts is in the news (well, that's not really news) today, but for a celebratory reason.

It's the 5th Anniversary of his lecherous sexual harassment lawsuit!



The Smoking Gun has a hall-full of goodies for the occasion;

O'Reilly Falafel Suit Turns Five ... Fox News star's pervy sex fantasies, boasts just never get old

OCTOBER 13--Happy anniversary, Bill O'Reilly! On this date five years ago, the Fox News Channel host was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit brimming with lurid details about vibrators, phone sex, threesomes, masturbation, Caribbean shower fantasies, a Thai sex show, falafel, stewardess trysts, vehicular coupling, and Al Franken. The New York State Supreme Court lawsuit filed by Andrea Mackris, a former Fox News producer, quoted O'Reilly verbatim and at length, leaving readers to believe that the TV star's dirty soliloquies were surreptitiously recorded (an impression reinforced when the lawsuit was settled within two weeks). A copy of Mackris's complaint, drafted by lawyer Benedict Morelli, can be found below. Time has not robbed the document of any of its page-turning entertainment value.

You can go to The Smoking Gun post to read the entire complaint..

And, check out John Cook, over on Gawker;

Happy Bill O'Reilly Loofah Day!

Everyone celebrates Loofah Day in their own way, but we like to pull out the sacred text and read aloud from its most memorable and moving passage—a transcript of O'Reilly's late-night 2004 monologue to Mackris, delivered during the Republican National Convention, while he was watching a porno:

So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind... and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business....

And, a good zinger;

Mackris doesn't need to work, apparently, but in her free time, she is a member of the contemporary council at the Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis and "volunteers at Planned Parenthood." Living well is the best revenge, but helping people get abortions when the guy who kept trying to get in your pants hates abortions is awesome, too.

We'll have to check out Newshounds (They watch Fox so you don't have to) later on, to see if O'Reilly remembered, maybe have a Turquoise Loofah on the desk, or something.


Bonus Links

John Amato: Andrea Mackris said Falafel Boy O’Reilly was going to pay a personal visit to her

Alexander Cockburn: What Happened to O'Reilly's Loofa?

Salon: Every which way but loofah ...Inside the Bill O'Reilly sexual harassment lawsuit

O'Reilly Gears Up Next War; Says Will Battle To Save "Little Christmas" ... Calls For New Laws and Mandatory Fines; Doesn't Hesitate To Make Up False Charges To Broadcast His Point

Bill O'Reilly Exclusive! Black People Go To Restaurants ... And They Eat!

Ebert Gives Thumbs Down To Loofah Man

It's been some time since we've written anything on the Grand Ayatollah of Ignorant Dolts, the Loofah Man, Bill O'Reilly.

And, that is to our advantage, the less being exposed to his rancid toxicity, the better.

However, today, we put on our proverbial Hazmat Suit, to point to another, Roger Ebert, who has a most amusing article, ripping on the Original Pinhead.

Apparently, recently. Loofah Man slapped at the Chicago Sun-Times, for their Liberalism.

So, Ebert, well, thanks him, in "Thoughts on Bill O'Reilly and Squeaky the Chicago Mouse";

Dear Bill: Thanks for including the Chicago Sun-Times on your exclusive list of newspapers on your "Hall of Shame." To be in an O'Reilly Hall of Fame would be a cruel blow to any newspaper. It would place us in the favor of a man who turns red and starts screaming when anyone disagrees with him. My grade-school teacher, wise Sister Nathan, would have called in your parents and recommended counseling with Father Hogben.

Yes, the Sun-Times is liberal, having recently endorsed our first Democrat for President since LBJ. We were founded by Marshall Field one week before Pearl Harbor to provide a liberal voice in Chicago to counter the Tribune, which opposed an American war against Hitler. I'm sure you would have sided with the Trib at the time.

I hesitate to quote more from it, as it is a short piece.

And, as stated above, it is most, most amusing (especially the comparison he makes, of the "outrage" the Sun-Times received dropping Loofah Man's syndicated column)

Go check out Roger Ebert's "Thoughts on Bill O'Reilly and Squeaky the Chicago Mouse".

At minimum, it will give you something to smile about today.


Bonus Loofah Man Riffs

Alex Koppelman: Quote of the day

Steve Benen: EBERT VS. O'REILLY...

Fox News Agrees With Letterman ...O'Reilly Factor Now Only 40% Fair and Balanced ...New Spots To Reflect Correct Spin; Corporate Orders Review of Hannity & Colmes; Other Programming

O'Reilly, Al-Qaeda In Heated Argument Over SF Targets ... Strike Date, Debut of 'Muslim Factor' In Jeopardy Over Dispute

O'Reilly Gears Up Next War; Says Will Battle To Save "Little Christmas" ... Calls For New Laws and Mandatory Fines ... Doesn't Hesitate To Make Up False Charges To Broadcast His Point

He's Funny That Way

Oh My ...

Love is burstin' out all over ...

Author: Murdoch 'absolutely despises' the 'bullying' Bill O'Reilly

“It is not just Murdoch (and everybody else at News Corp.’s highest levels) who absolutely despises Bill O’Reilly, the bullying, mean-spirited, and hugely successful evening commentator,” Wolff wrote, “but [Fox News chief executive] Roger Ailes himself who loathes him. Success, however, has cemented everyone to each other."

“The embarrassment can no longer be missed,” Wolff wrote, in another section of the book. “He mumbles even more than usual when called on to justify it. He barely pretends to hide the way he feels about Bill O’Reilly. And while it is not that he would give Fox up—because the money is the money; success trumps all—in the larger sense of who he is, he seems to want to hedge his bets.”

Wolff adds that Fox CEO Roger Ailes shares Murdoch's opinion. "It is not just Murdoch (and everybody else at News Corp.’s highest levels) who absolutely despises Bill O’Reilly, the bullying, mean-spirited, and hugely successful evening commentator, but Roger Ailes himself who loathes him. Success, however, has cemented everyone to each other."

According to Wolff, Murdoch's desire not to be defined solely by his ownership of Fox underlay his purchase last year of the Wall Street Journal, which "was in no small way about wanting to trade the illiberal -- the belligerent, the vulgar, the loud, the menacing the unsubtle -- for the better-heeled, the more magnanimous, the further nuanced."

Steve Benen: NOBODY LIKES O'REILLY...

Editor and Publisher: 'Politico' Carries Excerpts from New Murdoch Book

Quick, somebody call in Sarah Palin.

Maybe she can teach the Grand Ayatollah of Ignorant Dolts how to do that "starburst" thing, that so enthralled the frequent guest host for the Warrior on Christmas, that young pup, Rich Lowery.

No doubt, O'Reilly will likely ignore the jilt, and, perhaps, go around singing this tune;

Billie Holiday - He's Funny That Way




Loofahs, anyone?