It's Turquoise Watch For The Loofah Man

The Grand Ayatollah of Ignorant Dolts is in the news (well, that's not really news) today, but for a celebratory reason.

It's the 5th Anniversary of his lecherous sexual harassment lawsuit!



The Smoking Gun has a hall-full of goodies for the occasion;

O'Reilly Falafel Suit Turns Five ... Fox News star's pervy sex fantasies, boasts just never get old

OCTOBER 13--Happy anniversary, Bill O'Reilly! On this date five years ago, the Fox News Channel host was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit brimming with lurid details about vibrators, phone sex, threesomes, masturbation, Caribbean shower fantasies, a Thai sex show, falafel, stewardess trysts, vehicular coupling, and Al Franken. The New York State Supreme Court lawsuit filed by Andrea Mackris, a former Fox News producer, quoted O'Reilly verbatim and at length, leaving readers to believe that the TV star's dirty soliloquies were surreptitiously recorded (an impression reinforced when the lawsuit was settled within two weeks). A copy of Mackris's complaint, drafted by lawyer Benedict Morelli, can be found below. Time has not robbed the document of any of its page-turning entertainment value.

You can go to The Smoking Gun post to read the entire complaint..

And, check out John Cook, over on Gawker;

Happy Bill O'Reilly Loofah Day!

Everyone celebrates Loofah Day in their own way, but we like to pull out the sacred text and read aloud from its most memorable and moving passage—a transcript of O'Reilly's late-night 2004 monologue to Mackris, delivered during the Republican National Convention, while he was watching a porno:

So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind... and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business....

And, a good zinger;

Mackris doesn't need to work, apparently, but in her free time, she is a member of the contemporary council at the Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis and "volunteers at Planned Parenthood." Living well is the best revenge, but helping people get abortions when the guy who kept trying to get in your pants hates abortions is awesome, too.

We'll have to check out Newshounds (They watch Fox so you don't have to) later on, to see if O'Reilly remembered, maybe have a Turquoise Loofah on the desk, or something.


Bonus Links

John Amato: Andrea Mackris said Falafel Boy O’Reilly was going to pay a personal visit to her

Alexander Cockburn: What Happened to O'Reilly's Loofa?

Salon: Every which way but loofah ...Inside the Bill O'Reilly sexual harassment lawsuit

O'Reilly Gears Up Next War; Says Will Battle To Save "Little Christmas" ... Calls For New Laws and Mandatory Fines; Doesn't Hesitate To Make Up False Charges To Broadcast His Point

Bill O'Reilly Exclusive! Black People Go To Restaurants ... And They Eat!

Run, While You Can Shep! ... Get Out, Now!

It is a fairly remarkable happening.

Not something you see every day, or, really, on any day, for that matter.

A Faux News anchor actually going against the talking points.

A Faux News anchor actually employing, using the "Fair and Balanced" thing.

Now, it will be interesting to see the reaction to Shepard Smith, from inside the chamber, of how many of his colleagues start dissing him (I think it will be a given and Hannity and The Loofah Man will locked-and-loaded), how the Flying Monkeys react.

We’ll have to keep a running check News Hounds today, because they "watch Fox News so you don't have to".

In fact, Ellen wants to give Shep a nod-of-the-cap;

"I hope you will all join me in giving Fox News host Shepard Smith a virtual standing ovation for his emphatic, no-holds-barred stance against torture. If you'd like to send some props to Smith, you can email his show at studiob@foxnews.com."

The QuietObserver also backs up Shep;

Fox News' Shep Smith has been known to show a bit of an independent streak once in a while, meaning that he seems less willing to regurgitate FNC's propaganda ...

[Snip]

Overall, he generally comes off as pretty rational (and yes, I do believe that rational conservatives are still in existence.) Smith could probably excel as a legit journalist if he were in some other medium.

What's all the fuss, we hear you cry?

Shepherd Smith drops F-bomb during Freedom Watch: We do not F%$&ing torture!!!



WOW!

I wonder, if Faux News has, oh, I don't know, contingency plans for something like this.

They are not, necessarily, accustomed to such breakdowns.

They have to be worried, about the Flying Monkeys, and dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, who have heard this (or get pointed to the YouTube), who have been accidentally exposed to this piece of reality.

Roger Ailes, surely, knows how confused they must be today, the pain and anguish they are experiencing.

The switchboard could be on fire by now, all wanting to know, did Shep Smith just pull the curtain back, or did he, somehow, inexplicably, get abducted by aliens, and reprogrammed to speak like ... like ... like a ... oh God ... a Democrat!

We wouldn't bet against complete chaos at Faux News headquarters today.

Or maybe, it is something entirely different.

Maybe it is Shepard Smith, crying for help, attempting to get a message out, seeking assistance to getting out of the hellhole of Faux News.

Oh, is he shrewd.

He couldn't just blurt it out, as no doubt, the screen would cut-to-black, or a commercial, Faux News Security would swoop in, throw a net over him, and spirit him away, for reprogramming, or worse.

No, Shep's a smart cookie.

Take a hot issue in the news, let loose with a raw, emotional, honest response, knowing his signal will be heard, will be carried in the winds, will reverberate through the World Wide Web, and his rescue will come in swift time.

Just in case, run while you can Shep! ... Get out - Now! ...

Don't wait!

Ailes, likely, already as a team of people watching you, perhaps even the dreaded, fear-evoking Jesse Watters will ambush you, forcing you to recant, on-camera.

Run, Shep, Run ...

And, don't look back!

(Hmmm, maybe it's time for MSNBC - Hey, after all, they did hire a former Faux Newser, the world-wide-wonder, Rita Cosby - should give Shepard Smith shelter. They can lose that second-hour rebroadcast of Tweety, and plug in Shep, and go against their droning format of Host-Clips-Talking Heads, and have Shep man a round table, and, to be even more groundbreaking, instead of the same lapdog, MSM journalists, bring in bloggers, to chew over the days' issues ... I mean, if they're going to give Chucky T.a show ... )


Bonus "Three Cheers For Shepard Smith" Riffs

Emptywheel - Spotted: Aspen Trees, Turning on Roots

Andrew Sullivan: Shep Smith Tells The Truth

Nico Pitney - Shepard Smith Uncensored: "We Are America, We Do Not F**king Torture!" (VIDEO)

Tom Junod: Because They Hate Shepard Smith and Want Him to Fail