It's Turquoise Watch For The Loofah Man

The Grand Ayatollah of Ignorant Dolts is in the news (well, that's not really news) today, but for a celebratory reason.

It's the 5th Anniversary of his lecherous sexual harassment lawsuit!



The Smoking Gun has a hall-full of goodies for the occasion;

O'Reilly Falafel Suit Turns Five ... Fox News star's pervy sex fantasies, boasts just never get old

OCTOBER 13--Happy anniversary, Bill O'Reilly! On this date five years ago, the Fox News Channel host was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit brimming with lurid details about vibrators, phone sex, threesomes, masturbation, Caribbean shower fantasies, a Thai sex show, falafel, stewardess trysts, vehicular coupling, and Al Franken. The New York State Supreme Court lawsuit filed by Andrea Mackris, a former Fox News producer, quoted O'Reilly verbatim and at length, leaving readers to believe that the TV star's dirty soliloquies were surreptitiously recorded (an impression reinforced when the lawsuit was settled within two weeks). A copy of Mackris's complaint, drafted by lawyer Benedict Morelli, can be found below. Time has not robbed the document of any of its page-turning entertainment value.

You can go to The Smoking Gun post to read the entire complaint..

And, check out John Cook, over on Gawker;

Happy Bill O'Reilly Loofah Day!

Everyone celebrates Loofah Day in their own way, but we like to pull out the sacred text and read aloud from its most memorable and moving passage—a transcript of O'Reilly's late-night 2004 monologue to Mackris, delivered during the Republican National Convention, while he was watching a porno:

So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind... and then I would take the other hand with the falafel [sic] thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business....

And, a good zinger;

Mackris doesn't need to work, apparently, but in her free time, she is a member of the contemporary council at the Contemporary Art Museum of St. Louis and "volunteers at Planned Parenthood." Living well is the best revenge, but helping people get abortions when the guy who kept trying to get in your pants hates abortions is awesome, too.

We'll have to check out Newshounds (They watch Fox so you don't have to) later on, to see if O'Reilly remembered, maybe have a Turquoise Loofah on the desk, or something.


Bonus Links

John Amato: Andrea Mackris said Falafel Boy O’Reilly was going to pay a personal visit to her

Alexander Cockburn: What Happened to O'Reilly's Loofa?

Salon: Every which way but loofah ...Inside the Bill O'Reilly sexual harassment lawsuit

O'Reilly Gears Up Next War; Says Will Battle To Save "Little Christmas" ... Calls For New Laws and Mandatory Fines; Doesn't Hesitate To Make Up False Charges To Broadcast His Point

Bill O'Reilly Exclusive! Black People Go To Restaurants ... And They Eat!

Barry Crimmins on Mackenzie Phillips

With the homefront situation, I have not been nearly as on top of this story, the horrible, sad tale of Mackenzie Phillips' stolen childhood, at the hands of her drugging, raping father, as I would have liked.

Just as sick are the people making jokes about it, calling her a liar, attempting to deny her pain.

One person knows all to well about this subject, and he weighed in, most excellently, this past weekend.

Barry Crimmins "No laughing matter"

For instance, actress and singer Mackenzie Phillips' recent disclosures of her childhood horrors certainly brought up issues that we need to discuss: incest and child abuse. They are nervous subjects and they've resulted in a lot of nervous jesting. I've seen a variety of such jokes from friends and colleagues in the humor rackets, mostly via the Facebook social networking site.

When challenged about compounding this sordid mess with salacious comments, some of the skittish quipsters have been quick to blame the victim. After all, hadn't she "admitted" that she had a consensual sexual relationship with her father, the late musician John Phillips, well into her adulthood? Isn't she at least partly culpable? Besides, she's a celebrity so that makes her fair game, right?

Wrong. Mackenzie Phillips was given about as much of a chance to survive in this world as the average Brazilian street kid. The main difference between Mackenzie and those poor urchins is that they were abandoned to the street while her own father paved a boulevard of depravity right through his daughter's home.

John Phillips began drugging Mackenzie with cocaine when she was 11. Eventually he commenced shooting her up with heroin. On one of those occasions, when Ms Phillips was in her late teens, she "came to" while her father was raping her. After that she said she began to have "consensual sex" with him. But it was not consensual because she did not give informed consent. How could she? The only information she had to go on was that it was apparently appropriate for her to be in a drug-induced stupor as she was sexually and emotionally exploited and abused by her father and whatever other scumbags happened to pass through what should have been her safe childhood home.

Go read the entire piece, it's powerful.

Then again, Mackenzie Phillips may not be as hot in the news now, since Roman Polanski is building a fan club, looking to get him off his 30-year fugitive status, for running away from paying for his child rape crime.