Early Xmas Gift For Cable News - A Mass Shooting

Another sad, tragic event, in our lawless gun control country.

Coming on the heels of the Paris Shootings, and its' terrorist roots, Cable News wasn't going to be left out on this side of the Atlantic.

At around 11PM last night, this is what I Tweeted;

‪#‎SanBernadino‬ ... w/still little info, media talking heads straining at bit/peeing pants, to label this terrorism

For the preceeding number of hours, on CNN and MSNBC, with their parade of ex-military, ex-Intelligence, ex-police on hand, citing what it took to plan this attack, the attire of the shooters, all were dancing on the head of the pin to outright claim this was a case of terrorism.

Even, with two press conferences, with the local police, and FBI, saying it was too early to say what it was, and while not ruling out Terrorism,  that they will follow where the evidence leads them, this didn't stop the Talking Heads from couching all their "analysis" wrapped in terrorism.

Bob Baer, the infamous "Terror Expert", on CNN, kept referring to his "bias" in wanting to push the Terrorism button.

The location of this shooting, a health center, a Christmas party, that was the only wrench thrown into Baer's bias, and barely slowed down the other Talking Heads

And, we had a new phrase introduced, the constant, apparently coming from victims, use of the phrase "long guns".

Anchors and their talking heads kept, ominiously, saying how the shooters had "long guns" as if the killing of 14, and wounding of 17 wasn't enough, teasing the veiled talk of this being "terrorism" with the constant repeating of "long guns".

The only think missing was spooky organ music.

Put "Long Guns" on the shelf, with "Lock Down", and "Shelter In Place" as part of the new vernacular of our Post 9-11, Patriot Act-blanketed, Drone-Filled-Skies world.

All the talking heads sounded, almost, disappointed, when, late in the night, the identity of the shooters was revealed, that it was an employee of the agency, and his wife, and this was starting to take shape of, perhaps, a mentally unbalanced employee committing workplace violence, over some still unknown reason.

Lacking in this jingoistic cacophany, for all the hours they were burning, was any discussion about better gun control.

Even after, late in the night, it was reported that, at least, one of the guns used in this horrible shooting was purchased legally, that didn't stop one of the Talking Heads to poo-paah better gun control, saying it wouldn't prevent an event like this.

And, hitting their marks, on cue, were the Presidential Candidates, the PartyofNoicans all calling for prayers, and the Democrats all calling for better gun control.

The 'New York Daily News' had a good smack-down of the PartyofNocians, screaming from their front page " 'GOD ISN'T FIXING THIS'".

With God taking a pass, you can bet the line that our Congress will also.

During the night, a bevy of statistics were out everywhere, one citing that there has been more Mass Shootings (the criteria being 4 or more people shot) this year than the number of days in the year.

Sandy Hook, Columbine, South Carolina, Plan Parenthood were all mentioned.

Yet, as time passes, and these type of Mass Shooting continue to occur, Nicholas Kristoff notes in his column today "On Guns, We’re Not Even Trying"

That leaves us all vulnerable to be part of the next wall-to-wall Cable News coverage of the next Mass Shooting.

Bonus Links

Broadcast Nets Break In, Cable Goes Wall-to-Wall on California Shooting

Network and cable news anchors head to San Bernardino for shooting coverage

Calif. shooting sends networks into special report mode

GOP presidential candidates offer prayers — not solutions on gun control — after San Bernardino massacre

“Prayer Shaming” Is the New “War on Christmas”

Lawmakers Offer ‘Prayers’ For Mass Shooting Victims, Receive Large Checks From The NRA

How the NRA is harming American Security: Mass Shootings as Serial Terrorism

Ryan: Attacks no reason to 'trample' gun rights

Up, Up and Away ... More on Garage Attic Boy's Escapade

Well, it seems that there's some new things brewing, with Garage Attic Boy's escapade yesterday (see our earlier post today, Media Gypped ... Balloon Boy Only Garage Attic Boy).



The Henne family is being investigated for, possibly, pulling off a hoax, thanks, chiefly to the Wolf Blitzer interview, in which Garage Attic Boy, little Falcon, spilled the beans about it being "for the show" (Hmmm ... I wonder if CNN will start promoting themselves as "The Best Balloon Story Team on Television?)

Or, the parents calling a television station, before calling 911.

Libby Spencer, over on The Impolitic, seems to be first on the beat, as to what it may all be about;

It suddenly dawned on me a few minutes ago. If they're testing an experimental balloon, they would want video of the flight. That wouldn't be so easy to get on their own. Sure they could have chased the thing on the ground, but you can't count on constant visual contact from the ground so aerial footage like this would be invaluable. That's not something you could get on the cheap, and maybe not at all, as a private citizen. You would probably even get in trouble for launching without FAA permission. I heard they had to ground flights at a commercial airport at one point.

So voila. "Accidental" launch. Lost kid drama. Helicopter chase crews. It adds up to great documentation of your experimental craft's performance. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.

Oh well ...

No doubt, we'll be hearing more on this over the next few days

It suddenly dawned on us, that we have the perfect soundtrack of this;

The 5th Dimension - Up, Up and Away



Bonus Links

Ezra Klein: Balloon Boy a Hoax?

Kevin Drum: Quote of the Day

Skippy, the bush kangaroo: Balloon Payment

Media Gypped ... Balloon Boy Only Garage Attic Boy

Boy, what a story, huh?



Little boy floating hundreds-of-feet in the air, in a homemade weather balloon, of parents who were on a TV Reality Show?

Holy Cow!

The birth of a new genre - Missing Little White Boys!

Order the coffee and cots!

No doubt MSNBC ordered - stat - a new budget for a whole series of Doc Blocs.



Turns out the Falcon Heene never left this earth.

He hid out, fearing being scolded, in a garage attic.

While the helium may have exited the weather balloon when it crashed, it was a minor bleep to the Media's deflation, listening to the air hissing out of their babbling heads.

My favorite was here, locally, in Boston, Channel 5, WCVB-TV.

Anchors Liz Brunner and Ed Harding were solemnly reporting the story, giving updates as the broadcast moved along, cutting away to the live press conference with the local sheriff, where it was reported that little Falcon was safe, that he had been hiding "in an attic, in the garage."

Cut back to Ed and Liz, visibly relieved, reporting that the boy was safe, that he was found hiding "in either an attic, or the garage."

Way to go Ed and Liz, how to be on top of the story, getting those facts out there.

Paging Rita Cosby!

Good Parody ...

This thing has been making the rounds today, from the Onion News Network.

It pretty funny, and remarkably, watching it, brings to mind watching almost any cable news show, (and in particular, Faux News).

Check it out.

Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?


Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

Hmmm ... I Wonder ... Would She Rather Be In Philadelphia?

No word on where she'd rather be, but this has to be - despite Mike Huckabee and what he might say at any given moment - the head-shaker-of-the-day story;

EXCLUSIVE: The AP Has Written Britney Spears' Obituary

I'm half-surprised the Cable News networks haven't tossed their 24/7 political coverage aside to run hours of loops of the same footage of Britney, accompanied by a parade of Tinsel Town talking heads - the B-Journalists - who, in truth, are very much part of Britney's problems and, exponentially, increase the coverage by running the loops of Anna Nicole Smith, rehashing her sad life and the parallels to Britney ...

Too bad this isn't a Sweeps Month, or that may very well have come to fruition.

I wonder if, like a racetrack's tote board, this jostled the betting at the Dead Pool?

Now, it's time to kick back and wait for the other shoe to drop ... Paris Hilton, complaining that no one has written her obituary yet, or worse, as with her singing, she's going to do it herself ...

Tell-Britney-To-Stay-Away-From-Green-Bananas Links

Attytood: Thank God the AP is ready for the biggest story of our lifetime

Attaturk: Alert the Pulitzer Prize Committee

The Death Pool - Chronicling Death in Pools since 2007

The Home Of The Celebrity Dead Pool

The Dead Pool

Gerald Ford Dana Carvey SNL - Dana Carvey impersonates Tom Brokaw in a mock news broadcast on SNL as he enumerates the ways that Gerald Ford could die

As Goes Pakistan, So Goes Iowa ... But I'm Still Putting My Money On Colonel Mustard and Ms. Scarlet ...

Renault: By the way Monsieur, last night, you evinced an interest in Signor Ugarte
Laszlo: Yes
Renault: I believe you have a message for him
Laszlo: Nothing important, but may I speak to him now?
Strasser: You would find the conversation a trifle one-sided. Signor Ugarte is dead
Ilsa: Oh ...
Renault: I am making out the report now. We haven't quite decided whether he committed suicide or died trying to escape.

From the movie, 'Casablanca'

Boy, and we all thought that it was just Iraq that the Bush Grindhouse & Regime was going to leave the next President - and us - as a pile of shit.

Iraq may end up looking like Main Street USA, on July 4th, with what goes down in Pakistan.

And now, The Little Dictator Who Could, and his Pakistani Government, is giving its' citizens their own, and what will be just as enduring, conspiracy, along the lines of Oswald's Magic Bullet, on how Bhutto died.

It wasn't from being shot.

It wasn't from the bomb.

Drum roll, please ... It was from Bhutto ducking down through the sunroof and hitting her head on the sunroof lever.

Got that?

Perhaps, they are looking to avoid being dragged into court, and giving Bhutto's family an out, to sue the manufacturer of the vehicle she was in, for faulty design.

The lever of a sunroof? ... That makes William Holden's death look absolutely dignified!

Along with funding The Little Dictator Who Could, they must be giving the Pakistanis PR lessons - Blame The Victim.

Just as it was the people of New Orleans suffered for up to five-days, stranded on rooftops, and going without food or water, wasn't due to an obtuse government, they just didn't get out of the way when they were told to ... Bhutto, trying to get out of the way, dies because she ducked, as if to say, if she didn't duck, she would still be alive today ...

Ohhh boy! ...

One thing not going ducking or going down, is The Little Dictator Who Could, Pervez Musharraf.

He is the poster boy for Bush Grindhouse brand of democracy.

With The Commander Guy, holding on tightly to his Democracy blankee, calling for the continuation of planned elections, despite the leading opposition candidate being murdered, and the other party indicating they will boycott, in protest, said election, that's democracy folks.

Well ... You don't, necessarily, need to have banana trees to be a banana republic ...

The Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School surely didn't have this in their lesson plan. Perhaps, all those countries that came to Annapolis, they should be inquiring about refunds

And I would love to be a fly-on-the-wall the next time Condi makes one her "Democracy Calls". Perhaps the Bush Grindhouse will have to add body armor - and safer sunroofs - to their all-in-one Democracy-In-A-Box kits.

As has been the hallmark of the Bush Grindhouse, it comes down to the "appearance" of doing something, not actually doing it that counts.

Condi pushed Bhutto to come back to Pakistan, to "balance out" the phony democracy thing, all the while her boss has continued to fund Musharraf (and when we say fund, we mean directly - payments of all those billions have gone directly to The Little Dictator Who Could, not to the Pakistan government or treasury).

The Bush Grindhouse Foreign Policy in all its resplendent living color.

And, if you happen to be following this story via the American MSM and Cable News, you can only come away with this is the worst disaster in our history - and they've turned to the absolute, top Pakistan experts to draw this position - the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds running for President.

It was been playing out more like a reality TV game show, with the money question being "What would you do if you were President?" ... Answer it correctly to get a big bounce into the final round, being next weeks' Iowa caucus ...

I'm sure all the depressed and bereaved Pakistanis have dollops of hope filling their hearts, knowing that next weeks' Iowa voting will aid moving their country forward, solve all its' problems and, by George, institute all that democracy like it was an episode of Extreme Makeover.

About the only thing the Talking Heads on Cable News didn't indulge in, if it was Colonial Mustard, or Miss Scarlet, who killed Benizar Bhutto ... But the time is young, and it there's still plenty of on-air hours to fill, at least before they drop the story to roll into their canned, New Years' Eve specials.

What a boon for Cable Television ... The lazy, slumbering days between Christmas and New Years, with all those nauseating "Best Lists" and montages who kicked the bucket this year could be shuttered aside - We have HOT News!

It wasn't their standard "missing white woman" but the did apply the "Anna Nicole Smith" principles, so they could roll out all the heavy equipment just the same, to go wall-to-wall with its' coverage.

And with such the controversy over how Bhutto died, it will only be a matter of time, before we see a big, SUV in-studio, on either Wolf Blitzer's monitor-laden set (is he moonlighting for Circuit City?), or MSNBC (we should see a new Doc-Bloc Special, probably, within a month - "Sunroof Deaths"), complete with a Bhutto-sized rally crowd of experts, to dismantle the SUV's sunroof, and roll out a bushel of theories on how it all happened, the angle and speed in which she would have fell, the confusion if the sunroof lever was metal, metal alloy or plastic, only extending the exercise to bring in even more Talking Heads.

For now, we'll just have to wait and see how bad it gets - in Pakistan - and, on our television sets, as to just how far over-the-top they take this.

All those glamor boys, like Anderson Cooper and Matt Lauer, to dispatch to Pakistan ... Brian Williams, all decked out in his best L.L.Bean khakis, doing stand-ups "from the scene, where democracy was attacked" ... Katie Couric's grinning puff pieces, probably getting all her content directly from The Little Dictator Who Could, so we'll know she has the connections, to get the dirt, like a good little tough anchorwoman.

So, for all those expert Presidential candidates, here's some advise, despite what happened to Bhutto, if someone comes running at you while campaigning, wearing a bomb belt and firing a gun, for God's Sake, duck!

Meantime, The Little Dictator Who Could has given the order; "Round up the usual suspects."


Bonus - And Some Must-Read - Links

Juan Cole: Pakistan's 2007 Crises Come to a Crescendo; Benazir Assassinated; Implications for US Security

Larisa Alexandrovna: Now about Pervez Musharraf (and his ISI handlers)...

Digby: Pakistan Crisis For Dummies

emptywheel: Dick Blows Pakistan

Ahmed Rashid: THE GENERAL IN HIS LABYRINTH - America's Bad Deal With Musharraf, Going Down in Flames

Christopher Hitchens: Daughter of Destiny Benazir Bhutto, 1953-2007

Scarecrow: Did Bush Risk Bhutto To Save Musharraf?

emptywheel: Does this Sound Familiar?

Matthew Yglesias: Don't Cry for Me, Pakistan?

Steve Clemons: Implications of the Zbigniew Brzezinski-Anthony Lake Divide

Media Lobbies Vegas Court To Delay OJ Proceedings Until November Sweeps

Amicus Brief Filed; Media Caught "Flat-Footed", Need Time To Ramp Up For Doc Blocs and Cooper's Emotions

In an unprecedented amicus brief to the Clark County, Nevada court, and coming down on the side of the court, a conglomeration of media - primarily cable television, print and on-line tabloids, are asking that legal proceedings against O.J. Simpson be delayed until November.

Citing "the public's right to know", the brief states that, with the new television season premiering next week, the start of the NFL football season and Major League Baseballs pennant races, playoffs and world series, and Britney Spear's legal matters, will "dilute resources" and "not serve the public's interest in this matter".

The amicus brief also stated that "by moving these proceedings to November, we, the media, will be in better position to present and promote said proceedings for the consumption of the public interest."

Attachments to the brief included reams of Nielsen ratings from both of Simpson's murder trials, and past November Sweeps results, as well as a DVD collection of MSNBC 'Doc-Blocs" that featured, or mentioned Simpson.

"We got caught flat-footed", offered one cable news executive.

Simpson, 60, was arrested Sunday and charged with multiple felonies, after allegedly breaking into a Las Vegas hotel room, with accomplices and robbing, at gun point, a memorabilia dealer of items that Simpson claimed were his own.

The civil-court-convicted murderer and former pro football star is being held without bail, and, if convicted, faces anywhere from 2 - 60-years in prison.

Ironically, just last week, the controversial Simpson murder book "If I Did It" was released.

"This is tough timing," admitted MSNBC General Manager Dan Abrams, who also hosts the program "MSNBC Live with Dan Abrams."

"We're just getting back into the groove after the summer ... Labor Day and - bang - this drops in." added Abrams, who quickly hustled out to Las Vegas to broadcast his program from Sin City last evening.

"If we can get this into the November Sweeps," said a wistful Abrams, "man, it will be through-the-roof ratings."

"We can get a whole winter's worth of Doc Blocs out of this", said Abrams

CNN, who also joined in the brief, stated that its' star anchor, Anderson Cooper, is just returning from Iraq.

In the brief, CNN offered that "a November time period would allow for Mr. Copper to gather the proper amount of emotions in which to cover these proceedings."

Various news companies, both part of the amicus brief, and not involved in the brief, indicated they have already been receiving complaints from their viewers and readers.

An independent survey of those complaints made by The Garlic show that a large percentage of them lament the demise of 'The World Weekly News' and are asking these media outlets if "Bat Boy" or "Big Foot" were involved or accomplices of Simpson.

Bonus Links

ABC News: Apparent Tape Released of O.J. in Vegas; Apparent Audiotape Released of Sports Memorabilia Dispute Involving O.J. Simpson in Las Vegas

Breaking News! Fox Bounces The Juice and Brings In The Scooter; OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons; Reagan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

Top Ten Cloves: Uses For The cancelled O.J. Book On Thanksgiving Day

OJ, Vatican Said To Sign Deal, Merge Hunts


Were Batboy, and Big Foot, accomplices of Simpson in his alleged armed robbery?

MSNBC Readying 24-Hour Anna Nicole Smith Channel

Cosby To Be Sole Anchor; New Packaged "Anna-Blocs" To Debut On Flagship Channel

Saying it is not simply a February Sweeps Month promotion, MSNBC President Dan Abrams hinted an announcement will be coming soon, on a new 24-Hour Anna Nicole Smith Channel that will debut as part of an expanded MSNBC network.

"This story not only has legs," said an earnest Abrams, "but it growing new legs ... It's almost endless on how long we can run with this."

With the flagship MSNBC channel devoting more-and-more air time to nearly every squeak of news that is coming out of the Ms. Smith's post-death legal hearings, and often leading into longer pieces detailing the former Playboy centerfold's life, Abrams believes the venture is both "needed, and can be profitable."

The website Think Progress noted on the day after Smith's death, MSNBC was the leader as to its' coverage

"NBC’s Nightly News devoted 14 seconds to Iraq compared to 3 minutes and 13 seconds to Anna Nicole. CNN referenced Anna Nicole 522% more frequently than it did Iraq. MSNBC was even worse — 708% more references to Anna Nicole than Iraq."

To that end, this morning, as President Bush gave a speech on the Afghanistan War at the American Enterprise Institute, that had both MSNBC rivals CNN and Fox News carrying the speech live, in it's entirety, while MSNBC broadcast a hearing in Florida over the disposition of releasing Ms. Smith's body for burial.

"This is a story that will write itself, continued Abrams. "There are hundreds of thousands of people out there that came in contact with Anna Nicole Smith and they all have stories to tell. We won't have any problem getting advertisers to support this channel."

"Given the mysterious nature of Smith's death; the "take a number" controversy surrounding who sired her baby daughter; and the bonanza of Benjamins in the balance, cable couldn't have concocted a better story," wrote Gail Shister of the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Abrams defended the launching of the channel devoted only to Anna Nicole Smith.

"It's not just tabloid news we have here," sniped Abrams. "There's a pending Supreme Court decision and we also have substantial legal issues with her burial and the still-unresolved paternity issue. I think we've only seen the tip-of-the-iceberg as to potential fathers and that will only mean more court time."

The latest to step forward claiming to be father of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn is the noted, world-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking.

Abrams indicated that he is considering making MSNBC Special Units reporter Rita Cosby the sole anchor of the new Anna Nicole Smith channel and that reports and in-studio interviews will be packaged for a new series of "Anna-Blocs", to compliment the on-going MSNBC series of Doc-Block programming on law and justice.

Abrams would neither confirm or deny rumors that he was courting CNN's Anderson Cooper to fill the void of MSNBC's Special Units reporting if Cosby is tapped to anchor the Anna Nicole Smith channel.

"I kinda wish we had different circumstances here," conceded Abrams.

"Instead of dying, we could have really landed the golden goose if she had simply gone missing in the Bahamas, a la Natalee Holloway ... Another white woman - this one a beautiful, wealthy celebrity - goes missing on an island ... I could retire a rich man on the back of that story ..."

Bonus Link

Anna and the Astronaut Trigger a Week of Tabloid News











Rita Cosby (left) is rumored to be tapped to anchor a new Anna Nicole Smith channel MSNBC is slated to launch