Top Ten Cloves: What If Barack Obama Discovered America?

News Item: Happy Columbus Day?

10. Arugula would be as common as french fries today

9. There would be a buzz that he didn't wear any Lapel Pins

8. Obama's wife going sleeveless would intimidate the locals

7. No Minister Controversy- Nothing has happened yet to cause "Chickens coming home to roost"

6. Big public fight with one of his captains, who says that Obama needs to deploy an armada of ships for the mission

5. Exploring the New World would be delayed a few months, while Obama sought out getting a pet dog for his children

4. Obama would be telling the ships' crew that it was wrong to look backward

3. Early critics would huff-and-puff that he relies on the "Parchment Scroll" too much

2. Any Native Americans that were "birthers" would be right!

1. Before long, they will be saying that Obama is "Palling' around with Pirates"


Bonus Links

Wikipedia - Columbus Day

History of Columbus Day

Christopher Columbus

Top Ten Cloves: Things About If John McCain and Sarah Palin Discovered America

Top Ten Cloves: How History Would Be Different if Bush & Co. Were The Ones To First Discover America

Top Ten Cloves: How History Would Be Different if Bush & Co. Were The Ones To First Discover America

News Item: The DNA Age; Seeking Columbus’s Origins, With a Swab

10. We would now be celebrating Dick Cheney Day in October

9. All the crew, from all the ships would be Stop-Lossed, and forced to serve another 15-months

8. Critics of the expedition would be branded as "Viking sympathizers and appeasers"

7. Bush would set out to prove his bigger goal, that the world was flat, which would include invading and occupying Iraq

6. Native population would be immediately declared "Enemy Combatants", and shipped off to Cuba for detention

5. Burning Spear's song, "A Damn Blasted Liar" would still be apropos

4. 2nd Mate Paul Wolfowitz would boast that the new land's natural resources would pay for the expedition

3. History would show conch shells to be the early, rudimentary beginnings of the NSA Illegal Wiretapping program

2. 1st Mate Donald Rumsfeld would deflect criticism by saying "You set sail with the ships you have, not the ships you you might want or wish to have at a later time."

1. Best of all, Captain Bush would start issuing "Signing Statements ", and go about making up the law as he went along


Happy Dick Cheney Day Links

BBC: They Discovered America

Franklin W Knight: The legacies of Christopher Columbus

James Carroll: A troubling turn in American history