Another Clown Car gathering last night, in Las Vegas, and it was almost Life Imitating Art
Ozzie and Harriet would be blushing today, with all the virulent insults uttered by the PartyofNican Clown Car drivers.
JEB! borrowed a spine from somewhere, and a rubber mallet from the circus, that he kept clubbing (and, at times, looking like he was going to break out in tears), The Donald, who kept dismissing him in Dorthoy Parker fashion (The "I'm 42 and you're 3" retort hurts a bit, doesn't it JEB!)
Only thing missing between Life Story Boy Mario Rubio and the McCarthyesque Ted Cruz was a WWF Banner and Cage Match announcement prior to the debate.
Carli Fiorini looked like she had been stung by 1000 hornets, snarling at the moderators more than any of the other clowns.
Traffic Jam Starter Christie played the High School Prinicple in this production, pointing out the Hobbesian Trap rancor of the other candidates, but injecting his own "my dick is bigger", which was the overarching theme of the entire night, of all the candidates (yes, I know, but it still applies).
Rand Paul, once again, the exasperated teacher, writing on the proverbial blackkboard, the correct CONSERVATIVE answer (labeled a "Loser" by CNN) for his inattentive class, but he's looking more and more, like a steward on the Titanic, looking for space for himself on one of those lifeboats.
I think Carson and Kaisch were there, just so two podiums wouldn't be empty, though, our Pryamid Expert did declare he could handle the Commander in Chief thing, having to do what has to be done, because of his neurosurgery experience.
Let us hope, if Dr, Ben happens to get elected, all the terrorists, suddenly, come down with brain tumors.
But the biggest news, and I mean, this is a blockbuster, 10-pt, bold headline stuff;
“We’re fighting a very politically correct war,” he said in response to a question about avoiding civilian causalities. “And the other thing is with the terrorists, you have to take out their families. They, they care about their lives. Don’t kid yourself. But they say they don’t care about their lives. You have to take out their families.”
The Donald reiterated it again, at the debate last night, stopping short of saying he would go after their friends, and even people who owe them money.
In a previous post, we asked, rhetorically, how more debased things would get.
Last night, came the first answer, we we have every expectation that it will be topped in the very-soon-future.
First, this was a bad night for Trump. Even by Trump’s standards, which are cartoonishly low, he embarrassed himself. He has no answers, no ideas, and no discernible reason to run for president. He doubled down on his plan to kill the family members of suspected terrorists, ignoring the Geneva Convention in the name of “toughness.” His strategy to defeat ISIS amounts to “hiring good people” and building a “great wall.” For most of the night, he flailed like the petulant clown that he is, and gave no indication that he’s taking any of this seriously.
Trump is a national mistake, and every time he opens his mouth in public, he reminds the world how unserious he is and how foolish we are for allowing him to hijack our nomination process.
Is Trump Keyser Söze?
When it's all said-and-done, the greatest trick The Donald pulled was convincing the world he does have intelligence
Well, this certainly, wasn't your father's CNBC Debate. There should be milk cartons out there today, with a picture of the debate on a side, blaring out the headline "Missing: Facts" The moderators of the PartyofNoicans Clown Car Crash in Milwaukee last night, all but took a flight down to Chicago whenever one of the clowns misspoke, and/or blatantly lied, about the facts of whatever softball question was thrown their way.
Pyramid Mogul Ben Carson managed to squeeze in Benghazi while defending the fabrications of his back story. Ted Cruz forgot to show his Contractor's Union Card, as his big pitch was for tearing down almost the entire government, as a means to balance the budget. Golden Boy Marco Rubio lumped his broken-record family history into virtually every question he was asked, and in one, put out a clarion call "for more welders"erroneously citing welders make more money then philosophers.
But Rubio's family picnic had a hornet's nest hanging over it, in Rand Paul (someone in his campaign should do the favor and tell him it's over), as Paul attacked Rubio's "Conservative Credentials" (not screwing poor people enough) over his tax plan, offering tax cuts for families, while increasing military spending. More than one clown candidate belched out that too many regulations were the cause of the financial mess, when, in fact, it was "Foreclosure Phil", Republican Phil Gramm that led the charge on repealing the Glass-Steagall Act, which nearly bankrupted the entire world. Fiorina parroted "We have to take back our country" so many times, I thought the old "HeadOn ... Apply directly to the forehead ... HeadOn ... Apply directly to the forehead ... HeadOn ... Apply directly to the forehead", had bled into the audio of the broadcast. If Industry Titan Fiorina happens to secure the nomination, she wants to put the military on steroids and go around the world kicking ass, and taking names. And, Poor Jeb! ... Team Exclamation Point! just watches him flop and flail at these debates, the brother-president-in-absentia, reduced last night to getting interrupted on a question asked to him, whining about having time to talk, having to fight off the interruption, and later, thanking The Donald for letting him speak - only forgetting to coat it with any sarcasim, and coming off more like offering Don Corleone a tribute. The chef, there, Jeb!, is calling out "Stick a fork in him, he's done!" ...I'm sure some of your big-ass donors can help you bang out your withdrawal speech ... Interrupting Jeb! was Man-on-Fire John Kasich, who was attempting to filibuster the debate, proudly boasting he was the man, that he balanced two budgets! Remarkably, none of his fellow clowns challenged Budget Man, that the first time he did it, he was working for a Democratic President, and husband of all the clowns' arch-villain, Hillary. Budget Man also attacked The Donald, scoffing at his plans to deport 11-million Illegal Immigrants - Jeb! also jumped on that - but neither clown offering an alternative, or, comprehensive Immigration plan. But The Donald was, relatively, reserved, only getting worked up over the latest trade agreement, and citing it to use China (likely his Straw Man for the foreseeable future) as a punching bag ... This debate was a Double-Ruppert Murdoch event, hosted by Fox Business Network and the 'Wall Street Journal', so no big surprise it was a fact-free affair. So as not to have to sit in the corner wearing dunce caps, like CNBC, the trio of Maria Bartiromo, and Neil Cavuto, from the Fox Business Network, and Gerard Baker, Wall Street Journal editor-in-chief, sat smiling, like lobotomized idiots as clown candidate after clown candidate played fast and loose with facts, with fear of a follow-up question to challenge such statements might give them the Ebola virus. Primary season will soon be upon us, winnowing out the field of these Clown Car Debates, but don't think this will make them more honest. The untrue non-facts, and lies, will only get bigger, and more bold.
Last night, the PartyofNoicans parked their clown car in the Ronald Reagan Drool Cup Shrine, and more than a few of the candidates channeled the former Union-busting President, rather awkwardly. But the #GOPDebate, despite the calls to do so, didn't wipe the grease paint of Numero Uno clown, Donald Chump. He's still standing, and holding down the three-rings, waiting to crack his whip at the next pail of confetti thrown at him.
Rather than wade into the nauseating details, we'll just offer some observational riffs. Somebody in the Jeb! Bush! crew needs to sit the boy down and advise him to get as far away from his War Criminal brother as possible, rather then continuing to embrace and defend him. In the back-and-forth over the Middle East, going into Iraq, Jeb! strenuously and vehemently shot back at The Donald, who was dissing his War Criminal brother that "He kept us safe ..." Really? Anyone can go to the Internets and find the War Criminal Brother ignoring the PDB about possible attacks, and on the day of attack, he was giving the most famous reading of "My Pet Goat". But Jeb! wasn't the only one trying to milk Sept. 11th, Portly Chris Christie continued his exploitation of it, in a fighting-stance reply that he was a "tough Federal Prosecutor". And Dr. Ben didn't do himself any favors by (rightly) defending the practice of Vaccines, and that they don't cause Autism, since the red-meat-eating, teabagging wing of the PartyofNoicans (who Dr. Ben ordinarily plays to) have that misfact carved in stone. Ted Cruz should be disqualified from both the debates, and public office in general, just for the fact that he too-eerily resembles former pig-headed Senator Joe McCarthy, in looks and in policies. Aside from Donald Chump, I suspect, as the day wears on, the ink barrels will be drained, declaring Carly Fiorina and Marco Rubio as gaining points last evening. Carly, to be fair, likely got off the best single line of the night, taking a swipe at The Donald's riff about her falling off the Ugly Tree and hitting every branch, but, she's pissing up a rope if she's going to try to counter her business experience is better than his. During her tenure, HP stood for "Help, Please", and the only one who got rich during that time was herself - for getting fired. And Marco Rubio's family immigration story is beginning to resemble TBS on Christmas Day, and, if he happens to be the last clown in the car, and actually gets elected, he'll make Keyser Sozo look like a piker. Winners of the Thanks For Coming/Bronzed Reagan Drool Cup go to Mike Huckabee (Onward Christian Soldiers, where do we sign up for the Crusades, Mike?), Scott Walker (the loser asshole Frat President who thinks everyone thinks he's cool and smart), Rand Paul ("Hey, over here ... Me. Me, ... I had my hand raised!")and John Kasich ("Can't we all just get along?") The PartyofNoican Clown Car now heads to Colorado, three days before Halloween, and, about the only way it could be more fun, is if the candidates indulge themselves in some of that legal Colorado marijuana.
J. Thomas Duffy created and lauched 'The Garlic in 2005.
Mr. Duffy is an accomplished writer, with experience as a newspaper reporter, radio writer, comedy and stand-up writer, the author of three children's books (unpublished, so far) and, and, through a good number of his writing experience, actually received payment for it.
Mr. Duffy is also a Contributing Editor on the blog, 'The Reaction' and a Contributing Writer to the blog 'The Moderate Voice.
In his spare time, Mr. Duffy likes to promulgate that is actually the dog salivating that caused Pavlov to ring the bell.