Breaking News! President’s Personal Resolutions Will Determine Iraq Strategy

Bush Launches New White House “Resolution” Group; Targeting Jan. 1 To Begin Changes

Plans Own 100-Hours; From Dealing With Iraq Jar, To Losing Weight, Says “New Strategies Will Come From Me”

Sources close to the President have told The Garlic, that the White House is “in a frenzy” as President Bush has personally set up a new study group, with a two-week time line, to compile a list of “resolutions” the President should consider for the new year.

The White House Resolution Group is spearhead by Chief of Staff Josh Bolten, and has a widely diverse membership, pulling from the White House Iraq Group, the White House Iraq and Iran Group, trusted confidants outside the White House and Vice President Dick Cheney.

Cheney’s role in the Resolution Group will be limited to an advisory role, as the Vice President is pressed for time heading his own Iran Study Group.

Former Iraq Study Group chiefs James Baker, Lee Hamilton, as well as any other members of the group, will not be brought in and will not be solicited for any potential resolutions that President can make.

The WHRG is to submit their final list of recommended resolutions to the President by December 30^th, while the President works to compile his own list. The target of December 31^st is circled for the President to take his own list, merge it with the WHRG’s list and come up with what will be his own New Years’ resolutions that will embrace both personal goals, as well as what his new plans for Iraq will be.

Pushing Back Iraq Solution Unrelated To New Resolutions

President Bush was to address the nation with his new Iraq plans before Christmas, but on Wednesday, the White House announced he was delaying the speech until the New Year.

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said, before banging his head on the podium, he didn’t know if the announcement of the delay had anything to do with the new Resolution Group and, when pressed by reporters, indicated that “I’d recommend that President make a resolution, like I have, to apologize to NBC’s David Gregory.”

“I think,” added Snow, “that what we have here is a man, just like millions of other people around the country, that is going to, you know, make some resolutions for the New Year ... To be a better person ... And he’s doing, just like other people, both personal and professional resolutions ... He’s the Commander-in-Chief and some of those professional resolutions will be about policy and what’s best for the country ... “

Bush Resolutions To Be ‘I-Told-You-So” Proof

The White House is denying that the new Resolution Group is part of the plan to get their “mojo back” or that using resolutions are to be a rebuttal to the ISG Report.

The timing of the WHRG is extremely coincidental to the release of the report, in which the President seemingly blew it off, vowing to come up with “a new strategy for Iraq” saying "The American people expect us to come up with a new strategy to achieve the objective which I've been talking about."

“This is all the President’s.” said an aide in the White House. “The planning for the Resolution Group predated the release of the ISG ... The President wanted a plan, something, that was his own, and not be subject to a bunch of I-Told-You-So’s ...”

President Bush hasn’t ruled out at least two of the ISG’s recommendations, that that he reinvade Iraq or that he launch a reality show to come up with a new solution.

100 Hours and The Iraq Jar

Sources have indicated that the goal is to come up with 100-hours of resolutions, which can be measured and tracked for progress and effectiveness.

This includes ordinary resolutions of losing weight, and increasing his "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List to, at least, four Shakespeares” to laying out a new strategy to deal with the crises in Iraq. There will be no plans or resolution to begin defining what’s going on in Iraq as a “Civil War”.

The President will resolve, according to Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG, to begin whittling away at the Iraq Jar.

“He as to start dealing with that,” said Varicator. “The thing is overflowing with ideas and suggestions and who knows, there just might be a plan in there that can save his presidency, his legacy.”

The White House is bristling at the suggestion the President’s 100-Hours of Resolutions is designed to overshadow the planned 100-Hours of the 110th Congress, in which Speaker-Elect Nancy Pelosi says she will “drain the GOP swamp.”

“It is nothing of the sort,” said one aide. “It’s a matter of New Years’ Resolutions and you, if my memory is correct, begin or launch those at the beginning of the New Year ... They [Congress] have their plans, we have ours ...”

Outgoing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, who was not invited to join the White House Resolution Group, weighed in on the matter.

“Gosh Golly ... Resolutions?... My goodness, what the heck do you think we’ve been doing for the last three years? ... We’ve being going with the resolutions that we had, not the resolutions we wish we had at a later time.”

The First Lady will be happy to hear that the new White House Resolution Group will see that the President deals with the overflowing Iraq Jar that sits in his office

Developing Story - No Slogans or Spin For Bush With New Labeling of Iraq

White House In Quandary Over Calling War On Terror A “Civil War”

WHIG, Lincoln Group Empty; “President Loses All His Slogans, Rhetoric ... Not Enough Time To Ramp Up”

A bitter battle has erupted inside the White House, as major news organizations have begun calling the war in Iraq a “Civil War”, sending President Bush and his aides into a panicked quandary.

Sources tell The Garlic that neither the White House Iraq Group, or the paid public relations firm, the Lincoln Group, are prepared with material, data or slogans for a “civil war”, leaving President Bush stuck with his “Hello, I Must Be Going Policy” - simply denying the policy of “Stay The Course”.

So dark is the mood, one West Wing aide bemoaned that “We can’t use DHS’s Terror Alert System if it’s a civil war ... We completely lose our edge ...”, a reference to the coincidence of terror alerts and bad news related to the Bush Administration.

Within the past few days, news organizations, such as the Los Angeles Times and Newsweek have referred to the Iraq situation as “Civil War”. This morning, on NBC’s Today Program, host Matt Laurer made an announcement on the “change in terminology”

“If the White House were to call it a civil war, they lose the “Either you’re with us, or against us,” said Hildy Johnson, editor of the monthly newsletter “What Did He Say Now?” that tracks and reviews President Bush’s speeches and interviews. “You can’t have the President, now, suddenly shift to saying “You’re with them, or against them” ... Or some such slogan ... It just wouldn’t roll off his tongue the right way.”

There’s also the matter of President Bush, and his administration branding Iraq as “the central front on the war on terror” and that doesn’t mesh with Iraq being ensnared in a violent civil war.”

“They lose the whole ball of wax,” says Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century.

Vice President Dick Cheney, who is heavily invested in the spinning of the Iraq War, is all but ignoring the civil war flare, concentrating on the Iran Study Group he launched recently.

According to Martins, another issue for the President in labeling Iraq being in a civil war is that the White House Iraq Group, and the Lincoln Group don’t have anything in the way of rhetoric and slogans for a civil war.

“WHIG just can’t do it,” laments Martin. “They can’t stop all the hype they’ve been putting out, turn on a dime and ramp up the President to start spouting out some new garbage that goes against everything they have been saying to date ... And the Lincoln Group ... If this is what we get in Iraq after all their positive, pro-USA stories they’ve been planting ...”

Possibly the Iraq Study Group will give the White House the platform to shift gears.

As The Garlic reported, a leaked report on their first draft calls for a “re-do” in Iraq, with reinstalling Saddam Hussein and reinvading the country. Conceivably, in doing it over, the Bush team could avoid the pitfalls that will lead to civil war the second time around.

“Jimmy Baker is nobody’s fool,” added Martins. “If he sees this as a civil war, it’s ”Goodbye Junior and good luck with your legacy... He’s not going down the tubes with this one...”

There are reports that President Bush becomes "enraged" whenever someone refers to the War In Iraq as a "Civil War", lunging at them and even swinging away with some punches, before Secret Service agents wrestle the person the President attacked to ground and arresting them

Breaking News! New White House Discord Pits Neocons Versus Bush, Baker

Cheney Launches Iran Study Group; Planning To Up Ante, Outgun Baker’s Recommendation

Rumsfeld Installed As Co-Chair; WHIG Moves Into Secret Bunker, As Neocons Draw Line, Choose Sides

Sources tell The Garlic that new, post-election divisions have erupted in the White House, leading to Vice President Dick Cheney launching his own, new Iran Study Group.

Against the backdrop of awaiting the recommendations forthcoming from the James Baker - Lee Hamilton-led Iraq Study Group, West Wing staffers are being forced to choose sides.

The two groups - WHIG (White House Iraq Group) and WHIIG (White House Iraq and Iran Group) have moved with the Vice President and now operate out of Cheney’s Secret Bunker, under the moniker of SBISG.

The firing of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is said to have been the trigger, and that it is likely this group had already been conducting meetings. Others say it was the President refusal recently, to “out” a CIA agent with the release of a National Intelligence Estimate report, or when President Bush admitted to the existence of CIA Black Hole Prison sites.

The Neocons’ Jesus Camp

Cheney is said to have created a co-chair position with the SBISG for his longtime friend Rumsfeld, and former Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby Libby is also said to be working, at least up until his trial begins in January, with the SBISG.

“It’s become the Neocons Jesus Camp”, said David Aaronson, editor of What Color Is My Coat Today?, the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party. “They’re not slowing down and the Vice President gave a hint to that last week when he said it was “full speed ahead.”

“They’re upping the ante,” added Aaronson, “and the plan is to outgun James Baker and his Iraq Study Group.”

President Lining Up and Fighting Back

President Bush, in a counter move against his Vice President, has initiated his own internal review of Iraq that will be separate from the Baker and is directed, squarely, to smash down Cheney’s renegade SBISG.

President Bush also had Army Gen. John P. Abizaid, head of the U.S. Central Command, testify today before the Senate Armed Services Committee, warning against a troop withdrawals or timelines in another effort to subdue Cheney’s group.

Another sign is that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice cancelled plans to attend an Asia-Pacific conference in Vietnam in order to be with the President for his policy review meetings and is said to have rebuffed advances from Cheney to join with the SBISG.

Recently, Rice touted the President’s Axis of Evil program to be successful and she has, in the past, had head-butts with Rumsfeld over admitting mistakes made in Iraq.

It’s not clear if this new Iraq Policy review by the President is part of his “Hello, I Must Be Going” policy shift, or it the pro-Bush side of the White House is looking to forge, with the Baker group, a wall to block out Cheney and Rumsfeld’ SBISG.

With Baker’s Iraq Study Group speculated to favor diplomacy and a political solution for the growing Civil War in Iraq, a recent leak of a draft of the report showed Baker recommending a “Do-Over”, with reinstalling Saddam Hussein and reinvading the country just at point of the 2008 President Election, leaving the solution of what to do to the next President-elect.

Bush’s Carlyle Group vs. Cheney’s Halliburton Company?

Cheney’s SBISG is said to favor a full, military solution and using Iraq as the launching pad to invade and occupy Iran

Some say this is a faux front in a behind-the-scenes battle between Bush’s Carlyle Group and Cheney’s Halliburton Company. Both companies have profited wildly from the Iraq invasion and occupation and the table is being set for the next move, into taking over Iran, with billions in weapon systems and services at stake.

“More likely,” according to Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century “is that Cheney is making his big move, carving out is own legacy over these last two years he’ll ever hold office.”

“It’s also a page,” added Martins, “out of his, and Rumsfeld’s ‘Armageddon Plan’ book. Both of them would have no objection, like Slim Pickens, of riding a big, ol’ Bunker Buster that was dropping down on Teheran.”

Breaking News! President’s Staunch Iraqi Progress Claims Based On Pentagon PR Firm Reports

Second Woodward Bombshell: Holds Back Postscript, Claims Cheney, Rumsfeld Feeding President Lincoln Group Writings

Pentagon PR Firm Reports Masked, As If From Spy Agencies For PDB’s, Other Meetings With President

The nation’s capital was hit with a second, Bob Woodward rocking late this afternoon.

Already reeling from the the news of Woodward’s new book, ‘State of Denial’, which depicts a confused and dysfunctional White House, hiding the true, grim news of the state of the war in Iraq, Woodward disclosed that he is holding back a postscript - possibly the makings of a new book - in which the President’s staunch defense that progress is being made in Iraq stems from being fed, by Vice President Dick Cheney, and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, reports from the Pentagon PR firm hired to plant propaganda in Iraqi and Middle East media.

The reports from the Lincoln Group, summaries, and sometimes full articles written to promote the United States and the U.S. Military to Iraqis, are being reformatted to resemble reports from intelligence agencies. Cheney and Rumsfeld then present the faux reports to President Bush, at times including them in the President Daily Briefings, as well as in private and full cabinet meetings.

Ironically, just today, President Bush charged that critics of his war policy, who say the war is making America less safe, are embracing the “enemies propaganda” and that “the terrorists attack us because we're provoking them."

Woodward claims in his postscript that the Joint Chiefs of Staff may have also been fed the reworked Lincoln Group reports.

A spokesperson said that, if that is the case, it’s likely the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff would “immediately fire off a letter” looking for an explanation as well as demanding an end to the practice.

White House Friends Says “Maybe Woodward Was Fed The Lincoln Info”

The Lincoln Group, a private public relations firm, formerly known as Iranex, was hired by Rumsfield and the Pentagon in 2005, to launch a new, some say “Military PSYOPS” media program, of planting news stories that promote the United States and the U.S. Military in Iraqi media. At times, Iraqi journalists were paid by the Lincoln Group, as well as newspapers receiving payments to run Lincoln Group penned stories and editorials.

According to its’ President, Paige Craig, a West Point dropout and former Marine intelligence specialist, the company has some 12 contracts with the U.S. Government, worth more than $130-Million.

“This is a bombshell, if it’s true,” offered Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG.

“I mean, who’s to say Woodward wasn’t feed the Lincoln Group material,” said Varicator. “It was just last year that Woodward was said to be jumping over to the New York Times ... That he didn’t want to write breaking news anymore and now, here he is, writing a bombshell of breaking news ... Look, it would be farfetched that they gave Woodward the runaround, bad intel. You think the Pentagon is running only one media-planting program? Hell, they have so many programs that Woodward wouldn’t know what was what ... Whether to piss or wind his watch ...”

Just prior to the news of ‘State of Denial” hitting, with Woodward due to appear Sunday evening on ’60-Minutes, as well as the Washington Post running excerpts from the book Sunday and Monday, the White House was battling to get back on message after the leaking of the National Intelligence Estimate report that depicts "cause celebre" for jihadists, and the that the situation in Iraq is making things less safe, not, as the President offers, more safe.

The bleak N.I.E. report offers that global terrorism is being fueled by the war in Iraq, attracted to it by the U.S. presence and occupation of Iraq, not, as often stated by the President that “we have to fight them over there, so we don’t have to fight them here.”

A secondary brouhaha broke out, as news leaked that Vice President Dick Cheney objected to the President declassifying and releasing the N.I.E. report, without smearing or outing a CIA Agent or their spouse.

Plenty Of Stumbles Between The White House and Lincoln Group

And this would not be the first instance where President Bush was tripped up by the Lincoln Group. In fact, there’s been a series of snafu’s involving the specialty PR firm.

- In November 2005, it came out that President Bush’s first "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq" speech was written by the Lincoln Group and was intended for the Iraqi Media. A folder mix-up placed it with the President and in Iraq, residents picked up the morning newspapers and read on "the Democrats were undermining the war effort".

- Due to the President giving the wrong speech, it was disclosed that the CIA was running a “Blue Hole Newspaper” operation, forcing detainees to write pro-American stories and Defense Secretary Rumsfeld was forced to disclose the contract and hiring of the Lincoln Group, and placing blame for the snafu’s with them.

- In March of this year, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was forced to backtrack on her statement of “caught off guard” by the Hamas victory in the Palestinian elections. Again, the Lincoln Group was involved, and took the blame, as Rice indicated she mixed up her papers.

Already With Millions, Lincoln Group Wins New Contract

Ironically, just days before the Woodward bombshell, it was announced that the Lincoln Group won a two-year contract with the U.S. Military, worth over $6.2-Million, to monitor a number of English and Arabic news outlets and to produce public-relations products like talking points or speeches for American forces in Iraq

So far, no official comment from the White House, or the Vice President’s office.

When reached, Secretary Rumsfeld brusquely offered that “Do I talk to the President? ... Yes I do ... Do I share information and intelligence with the President? ... You betcha’ ... Will I continue to do so, to perform my duties? ... You can count on it ...”

When repeatedly asked by a throng of media if he, and Vice President Cheney, fed the President doctored assessments of the Iraq war, Rumsfeld squinted and dismissively asked the reporter “What planet are you from?”

With the news that Woodward is claiming, it’s likely the White House will firmly deny the charge and Washington insiders say it’s a toss-up as to where the material for the denial will come from - the White House Press Office, or from the Lincoln Group

“I think it will be safe to say,” lamented Varicator, “that the President will, simply, stay the course,”

A new Woodward charge claims President Bush was fed the upbeat Iraq War reports, by Vice President Cheney and Defense Secretary Rumsfeld, written the the Pentagon's PR firm, the Lincoln Group, who is contracted to plant pro-American stories in Iraqi media

New White House Iraq and Iran Group.”

IG Report Casts Doubts On New Bush Security Plan; Says Nation “Out of Strategies”

Shortage of Strategy Makers and Bush Administration Wiping Out Inventory Puts Office On Brink Of Crisis

The White House, and the Republican Leaders of the Congress were hit with a major setback this morning, after the Inspector General for the National Strategy Office said that the office “is wiped out of inventory” and that President Bush cannot launch, “by law”, his new National Security Strategy

“There’s nothing left on the shelves,” said John Crane, Assistant Inspector General, from the Department of Defense’s Office of Communications and Congressional Liaison. “The Bush Administration has used everything the NSO had and, actually, is in violation of the law regarding owing the department about five-years worth of strategies.”

For a presentation due today at the U.S. Institute of Peace, by National Security Adviser Stephen J. Hadley, the White House last night gave advance copies of President Bush’s new, 48-page National Security Strategy to The Washington Post, New York Times and two other newspapers.

Bush’s strategy is less new, and more of an update reaffirming his doctrine of preemptive war against terrorists and hostile states with chemical, biological or nuclear weapons.

White House In Violation of Law

The National Security Strategy has no legal law behind, but is used by various government agencies and officials as a guide for policies, across a wide range of areas, including military and diplomatic actions.

A 1986 law requires the Administration to revise the strategy annually, to which the Inspector General says the Bush Administration is “clearly in violation of that law.”

The new National Security Strategy released by the White House last night was the first, since 2002.

‘They haven’t filed a new strategy in nearly five-years,” said Crane. “We’re forwarding a report to the Justice Department to see if charges need to be filed.”

Last night, in an interview with The Washington Post, Mr. Hadley began, what is expected to be yet another new strategy, to defend the administration

"I don't think it's a change in strategy. It's an updating of where we are with the strategy, given the time that's passed and the events that have occurred.”

“Being that we haven’t changed our strategy or position, I believe the President feels he doesn’t need to meet that requirement,” added Hadley. “There are measures that cover this, in the Executive Powers section of the Constitution, as we well as the War Powers Congress voted to give the President. He’s well within the limits of the law and I don’t expect we’ll worry about this very much.”

White House Ignored Warnings From NSO

Crane says that the White House ignored warnings from NSO Chiefs, as the President churned out new strategy, after new strategy over the past few months.

A recent audit by the NSO’s Inspector General shows a rush of new strategies, just in the past few months, undertaken by the Bush Administration.

These include;

National Strategy for Victory in Iraq

Bushapalooza: Strategy For A Scandal (in the wake of Republican Lobbyist Jack Abramoff’s indictment)

New Media Strategy (in the wake of Vice President Dick Cheney’s shooting)

Replacing Miranda With New, "Cheney Decision"

The New Strategy For Winning Olympic Medals

The New Strategy For Victory On Port Security

“The National Strategy Office has suffered in recent years from a shortage of strategy makers,” said Crane. “This has led to the increasing use of outside resources and, I believe, you’ve seen some of that in the results of actions and policies by the White House.”

“We have, repeatedly and often,” added Crane, “cautioned and warned the White House, and Congress, that the NSO was on the brink of a crisis.”

Crane said that if the situation isn’t addressed soon, if new strategies aren’t developed, this will likely be “a strategy debt we’ll be passing on to our children and grandchildren.”

Congress Stunned By Strategy Shortage and May Call For Hearings

As news of the strategy shortage swept across Capital Hill this morning, members of Congress and Senate expressed shock and dismay over the prospects of the nation being without a clear, national strategy.

“I’m very concerned by this,” said Senate Leader Bill Frist (R-TN). “I want to go to my office and review as much videotape on this crisis, before I make any comments for the record.”

“This is another sign of the White House’s irresponsibility,” said Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV). “Back home, everyone knows, you can’t keep flipping over griddle cakes and not check on how much batter you have ... This President keeps setting the table, put he doesn’t have anything to put on the plate.”

Both the House and Senate Leadership said they are concerned and may call for hearings.

“We’ll have to check first,” said Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Minority Leader in the House. “If we have to strategize, before we call for hearings, we may be in violation of the law. The President has used up all the strategies, without any consideration to the Congress. I don’t know if we can do it.”

Feingold Feels Now Is The Time For His Censure To Flourish

One senator believes this bombshell of being “strategy-less” is a golden opportunity.

Senator Russ Feingold (R-WI) said that “this is the best thing that could have happened for my Censure Resolution.”

Earlier this week, Feingold introduced the resolution to censure President Bush, for his violation of law in conducting his warrantless NSA Wiretapping program

So far, Feingold has gotten scant support for the measure, with fellow Democrats “cowering” and moving away from it, and Republicans using it to branded the Democrats as unpatriotic and weak on national security.

“Look,’ said Feingold, “it’s already out there, it’s been introduced. We, being the Democrats, can call for a vote on it now. The Republicans can’t strategize on it without being in violation of the law ... If they do, I’ll introduce more censures.”

Name Change For WHIG - Now Becomes WHIIG

White House Spokesman Scott McClellan reiterated Hadley’s comments, saying that “the President is operating, fully, within the scope of the law.”

“We’ve had this vetted by White House council, the Justice Department and, others in the Cabinet and the Department of Defense. President Bush clearly has the authority to launch new strategies, and is protected by the Office of the President and all appropriate Executive Powers.”

McClellan also announced, as an adjunct to the new National Security Strategy, that the White House Iraq Group would be undergoing a name change.

“WHIG is still same, but will now be known as WHIIG – The White House Iraq and Iran Group.”

WHIG is the group of White House staffers, Cabinet Members and other Neocons who launched the marketing aspects of President Bush’s decision to invade and occupy Iraq.

Those that regular attend WHIG meetings include Chief of Staff Andy Card (who started the group), Special Council to the President Karl Rove, I. Lewis "Scooter: Libby, Vice President Cheney's former Chief of Staff, special media advisor to the Vice President Mary Matalin, former cabinet member, now World Bank leader Paul Wolfiwitz, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Under Secretary of State Karen Hughes, and policy advisors James R. Wilkinson and legislative liaison Nicholas E. Calio

When pressed by reporters, McClellan admitted that “this isn’t really a big change.”

“I suspect, as we ratchet-up the rhetoric on Iran, we’ll likely use a lot of the same things we used for Iraq – mushroom clouds, WMD’s, fighting them over there ... All the standard fear-raising phrases, making the dire case for immediate action ... So we felt the name should reflect that and we want to keep this group together, versus creating a new group. It’s simply reducing a redundancy, that’s all it is.”

McClellan couldn’t confirm rumors that the Department of Homeland Security will be introducing a new, color-coded chart for Iranian threat.

“I can’t speak to that,” said McClellan, “You’ll have to talk to DHS. My thoughts would be that it is doubtful. The current group of colors we have are working fine ... I don’t see a need to change them ... It may confuse the American people, at time when we will need their support.”

“Likely,” added McClellan, “DHS would have a strategy on this. If they don’t, they may have to wait awhile.”

An Inspector General's report cites that President Bush and his Administration has wiped out the inventory of national strategies

Developing Story - Secretary of State Defends “Mushroom Cloud” Prediction

Rice Touts ‘Axis of Evil’ Program As “Wildly Successful” In Wake Of North Korea Nuke Test

AEL Members Adhering To Program; Allows Bush, World “Swift and Unfettered” Rhetoric” As Precursor To Planting Seeds of Democracy

Barely containing an “I told you so” smile, as to her earlier warning of “mushroom clouds”, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice hailed President Bush and his ‘Axis of Evil’ program as being “wildly successful” in wake of the reports of the North Korean government testing a nuclear device this past weekend.

Rice made her comments, following a “surprise” news conference in the Rose Garden by President Bush, where he both denounced North Korea, yet also stated he has no plans to invade or attack the country.

Rice: North Korea “Following the AEL Protocol Quite Well”

Rice offered that “we have a team, an interim government we can place in North Korea, if it comes down to that.”

“I haven't spoken with the President yet today,” added Rice, “I believe he is very pleased that the North Koreans are embracing their Axis of Evil List placement and, I must admit, have been following the AEL protocol quite well... We could not have asked more of them, to prove our judgment was correct as to placing them on the AEL.”

While the President “reserves all options to defend our friends and our interests in the region against the threats from North Korea," sources close to the White House believe there is a queuing taking place, with Iran, a fellow AEL member with the North Koreans, first in line to have military action aimed against them. North Korea, the sources tell The Garlic is “likely number two ... possible number three ,,,:

According to Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century, the White House believes that, with a pumped-up ‘Axis of Evil List program, there’ll likely be a new, North Korea Group formed inside the West Wing, a second spin-off of the White House Iraq Group, following the development of the White House Iraq and Iran Group earlier this year.

Cheney and Rumsfeld Waiting In Wings With “Little Red Mao Book” Jibs For Critics

“We’d certainly welcome that,” admitted Martins. “They’ve got tons of rhetoric and slogans just sitting in the files ... And with this nuke test, they actually save themselves a few months ... The nuclear issue is on the table ... They can cut right away to the WMD’s, and how unsafe Kim Jong IL makes the world, how he mistreats his own people ... The AEL made it all possible and I believe you’ll see the White House leverage that.”

Rumors have circulated around Washington that Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld may hit the speaking circuit again, reviving their “Nazi Appeasers” rhetoric, but tailoring it for the situation with the North Koreans.

“They’ll tweak the same speeches, “ said Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG, “and they attack the President critics with some jabs about “taking a page from Mao’s little Red Book”. They’ll have to walk a fine line, so as not to offend China.”

If President Bush was to take military action against the North Koreans, he’ll have to do it under some other auspices, as the White House is still on it’s heels as to planting any new seeds of democracy, following the stinging Inspector General’s report this past August. The report cited that the seeds used in Iraq were from an unapproved mail-order house and were “worthless”.

Varicator said that there are “many, many options besides planting seeds of democracy” and “and all scenarios are mapped out”. Including, according to Varicator, “they’ve even budgeted for the victory celebration”.

“After watching, for hours, the Iraqi’s pulling down the Saddam statue,” added Varicator, “they’ve got some new devices that will trim tearing down any statues or memorials down to minutes ... The goal is to have it work so it could be packaged inside a typical evening news broadcast.”

Rice Defends ‘Mushroom Clouds” Prediction; “Never Said It Would Be Above Ground or Below Ground”

North Korea kept to its’ AEL role, denouncing the President and the United States, calling for an end to the “hostile attitude”, which comes as no surprise to Rice.

“They’ll hem-and-haw for a few days before it all sinks in.”

Before leaving, Rice gave directions to the media assembled that “I hope you take note in your reports, that I was right about the mushroom clouds, and if you go back to when I made that fact-based assessment, I never said if it would be above ground or below ground.”

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said of North Korea’s reported testing of a nuclear device “we could not have asked more of them, to prove our judgment was correct as to placing them on the AEL.”

CIA Memo Aimed At Protecting Agent and Agency

White House Iran War Rhetoric Has CIA Nervous, Taking Precautions

Gallows Humor Sprouts “Outted Pool” At Langley; Agents Suggested To Warn Spouses Of Writing Critical Op-Eds

According to high-level sources, the Central Intelligence Agency has launched an internal program to protect themselves from the White House, as the Bush Administration begins building up plans to invade and go to war with Iran.

The Garlic has been told, that with the leaker of Valerie Plame’s identity still not apprehended, top officials at the agency don’t rule out that person, or persons, striking again, crippling additional covert agents and operations.

Wilson Demands White House ‘Come Clean”

It was Plame’s husband, former Ambassador Joseph Wilson who launched the White House into action, defending their reasons to go to war in Iraq, after Wilson wrote and Op-Ed article that appeared in the New York Times, critical of the Bush Administration’s claims that Saddam Hussein was seeking to purchase nuclear materials.

In the process of discrediting and smearing Wilson, the name of his wife, Valerie Plame, covert CIA Agent, was leaked to the media. Wilson, appearing on the ABC News program "This Week with George Stephanopoulos” said "I think it is long past time for the White House to come clean on all of this."

One element of the precautions, ordered from Director Porter Goss, is that the CIA hasn’t ruled out giving the Bush Administration doctored, or dummied information, to see, first, if they cherry-pick or leak portions of it to bolster their version of any “threats”.

“They got burned pretty bad by the prelude for Iraq,” said Harold "Ace" Larson, an analyst for the counterintelligence think tank, 'Book'em and Beat'em', “and the Plame thing, They know it and they aren’t going to be put in that same position again.”

Larsen offers that steps have already been taken, from as early as when the Plame story first broke.

“Cheney is all but persona non gratis at Langley. Any calls from the Vice President, as well as Hadley [Stephen; Assistant to the President For National Security Affairs], and, formerly, Scooter Libby, were rerouted and monitored. They want a paper trail and documentation on any requests coming in from this crew.”

I. Lewis ‘Scooter” Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney’s former Chief of Staff, is currently awaiting trial, on Federal charges of lying and obstructing justice related to the leaking of Valerie Plame’s name.

Gallows Humor and New Pact With Reporters

Larsen, as well as additional sources say that the threat from the Bush Administration is viewed internally by the CIA as “above critical” and that gallows humor has set in among the agents in the field.

Covert agents have begun an “Outting Pool”, betting that, in the build-up to invading Iran, one of them, or their operations, will be disclosed by a member of the Bush Administration. The pool is said to be in the “high six-figures” and that intelligence agencies in Great Britain, Germany and Israel have similar pools.

Reportedly, the CIA has negotiated terms with Chicago Sun-Times Columnist Robert Novak that he will not plant in any of his writings the identity of undercover agents. It was Novak’s column that first disclosed Plame’s identity.

A similar agreement was reached with Time Magazine’s Matthew Copper, however, efforts to reach a similar accord with former New York Times reporter Judith Miller are stalled, apparently, on Miller’s refusal to commit to spending time in jail again, if subpoenaed by the Justice Department.

The Washington Post’s Bob Woodward refused to talk with the CIA, and would not confirm if he already has information that President Bush is planning on invading Iran, if he knows that the Bush Administration is planning on outting a CIA Agent related to war with Iran, nor would he say if he will write about it, or when he would write about it, if the situation were to develop.

CIA Memo Aimed At Protecting Agent and Agency

A memo circulated to all personnel last Friday suggested precautions agents and management could take, as the Bush Administration regurgitates its Iraq war rhetoric and applies it to Iran.

Among the actions highlighted, included;

- Don’t write, or have your spouse write, Op-Ed articles critical of the Bush Administration

- Don’t appear on any cable news programs (we’re still checking about Fox) and offer evidence refuting Administration claims

- Absolutely do not accept any fact-finding missions, or other assignments, from Vice President Dick Cheney

- If the White House puts pressure on you for intelligence, and no supervisors are present, provide them the G5 Shadow Scenarios until such time proper verification of the request can be made

CIA doesn’t know who to trust in the White House

One of the biggest threats the CIA fears is the newly launched White House Iraq and Iran Group (WHIIG).

This new group, and offshoot of WHIG – The White House Iraq Group – which was formed in the summer of 2002, to market the Iraqi War, or, as the group stated, to provide "public education" about Iraq's "grave and gathering danger" to the United States.

The White House has not publicly acknowledged WHIIG, and it is not known who the members are, or what their stated goals may encompass.

“What really worries the CIA,” said Larsen, “is that WHIG, or WHIIG, is a marketing group, it’s not policy ... And being based in the White House, or the Vice President’s office, they have, what amounts to, unlimited resources and budget ... The CIA can’t compete with that, even with their black holes and undercover business operations.”

“Right now,” added Larsen, “the CIA doesn’t know who to trust in the White House.”

Vice President Dick Cheney is said to be "persona non gratis" at CIA Headquarters

Breaking News! Iraq Study Group Report Likely To Be Ignored

President Putting New Policy Suggestions In “Iraq Jar”; Rarely Pays Attention To It

First Lady “Always Harping” Aides Say; Rumsfeld Memo Completely “By Chance”, Luck Of The Draw

Against the backdrop of the hearings to confirm Robert Gates, and the drum roll for the release of the Iraq Study Group report, a bombshell disclosure emerged from the White House that has Washington buzzing.

Sources have told The Garlic not to expect much action after the Iraq Study Group issues their report tomorrow, as President Bush, for months, has been placing all new ideas for his course in Iraq in an old, large “olive jar”, and rarely opens it to review the policy suggestions.

It’s a Classic Jar

It’s known around the White House as the “Iraq Jar”, and sits on a small table, off to the side, in the Oval Office.

“It’s about half full,” said one White House aide. “All different sized scraps of paper. Every now-and-then, when he’s talking on the telephone, pacing around, he might twist the jar, center it on the table, but he rarely ever opens it.”

It’s the type of jar, said the aide, which you would find in a bulk, discount supermarket. It was brought into the White House from the President’s ranch down in Crawford, Texas.

“I’ve seen the jar and it’s a classic,” gushed Maxwell Throckmorton, Director of the Chore Jar Association. “We featured it a few years ago, in our magazine, “Chores and Love - It’s All In The Jar”. It was our cover shot and we got a tremendous boast in membership for a few months. People would be surprised how a well-maintained Chore Jar saves marriages.”

“I can’t imagine,” marveled the White House aide, how long it took to eat all those olives.”

First Lady, President Clash Over Iraq Jar

Another source says that the Iraq Jar has become a major point of contention between the President and First Lady.

“They’ve had some terrific rows,” said the source, with intimate knowledge of the White House.

“The First Lady has, on numerous occasions, stormed into the Oval Office and they’ve gone at it about the Iraq Jar. Forget about the policy issues, she’s really pissed he brought it up from Texas ... Throws of the décor in the room.”

Mrs. Bush has, according to the source, repeatedly requested the President to take a Saturday off, and go through the Iraq jar and clean it out

Multiple sources have told The Garlic that the President rarely dips into the Iraq Jar.

As new ideas and suggestions come in, or if items are clipped from the newspaper, they just get dumped into the Iraq Jar with barely a glance.

Leaked Rumsfeld Memo Pulled From Jar

It was only due to an argument, aboard Air Force One, between the President and First Lady that led to the leak of the memo for outgoing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

Allegedly, just two-days before he was forced to resign, Rumsfeld penned a length memo, covering nearly every possible condition for changes in Iraq.

“Rumsfeld has just about everything in that memo,” said David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?, the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party. ‘I think he even predicts who the Super Bowl winner is this year. It’s a classic Washington cover-your-ass move.

Returning to the White House, the President and First Lady marched into the Oval Office, opened up the Iraq Jar and the President pulled out a piece of paper, which turned out to be the Rumsfeld memo

President Flip-Flopping on his Iraq policy

For much of the past three-years, it has been “Stay The Course”, until recently, when the Bush White shifted over to “Hello, I Must Be Going”, denying they were ever advocating “Stay The Course”.

Then, last week, in Jordan, President Bush, after meeting with, and endorsing as the “right guy for Iraq” despite a leaked State Department memo question his competency, Iraq Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki, and promised to “complete the mission” and that “I know there's a lot of speculation that these reports in Washington mean there's going to be some kind of graceful exit out of Iraq," he said. "This business about a graceful exit just simply has no realism to it at all."

NSA Aide Stephen Hadley defended President Bush on a round of television appearances over the weekend, denying that the President was staying with, or abandoning “Stay The Course”.

“We have not failed in Iraq,” offered Hadley. "We will fail in Iraq if we pull out our troops before we're in a position to help the Iraqis succeed."

“We certainly hope that the President doesn’t pull out of Iraq and that he ignores the report,” says Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century.

‘We not only want to see him stay the course in Iraq, but also start to do something in Iran ... Which I believe the Vice President is handling those plans ... With the State of the Union speech not too far off, we want to see some action taken on the Axis members, it’s long overdue.”

It’s not clear if the President will immediately drop the Iraq Study Group report into the Iraq Jar. Some close to the West Wing say that Vice President Dick Cheney’s office will take the document and vet it, making sure there is nothing in it that goes towards diluting or eliminating the Executive Powers of President Bush, or Cheney’s ability to control policy.

“I think it’s a safe bet, said Aaronson, “that unless this report gives him instant legacy, the President will throw it in the Iraq Jar. He’s not going to change his stripes at this late date.”

Multiple sources have told The Garlic that the President rarely dips into the Iraq Jar.

Breaking News! Cheney Pushed President Out Of Washington To Avoid Subpoena

Garlic Exclusive!
President’s Surprise Iraq Visit Not Diplomacy; White House Wanted Distance From Rove

Staff Gets Info Wrong, Thought Bush’s Brain Indicted; Wanted President Out Of Capital, Away From Subpoenas

President Bush was spirited out of the Camp David late last evening, rushed to Andrews Air Force Base and boarded on to Air Force One for a trip to Iraq, after a West Wing staffer misheard a telephone message, believing that White House Special Council, and longtime key aide to the President, Karl Rove had been indicted.

In what was described to The Garlic, by a source close to the Bush Administration, a tense and chaotic scene unfolded, as Chief of Staff Josh Bolten and Vice President Dick Cheney White House Council Harriet Meirs conferred. Reportedly, Cheney argued for getting the President out of the Capital area, in the remote event that Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald attempted to serve the President with a subpoena.

“If this is what went down,” offered Dix Whitcomb, editor of the newsletter "Our Laws Are Different", “then this White House doesn’t know whether to piss or wind their watches.”

“They should have had the President, and Rove, running victory laps around Washington today,” said Whitcomb.

Cheney Orders Constitutional Exemption and White House Spins “Closer Relationship” With Iraqis

It was said the Cheney wanted the White House Legal Team to have time to attempt to come up with a credible argument, based on the Constitution, War Time Powers or Executive Privilege that would prevent the President from being served a subpoena.

The White House official spin on the President surprise trip to Iraq was to follow-up on the momentum on the killing of terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and give support to the new Iraqi Government, and Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki

The Washington Post reported this morning that White House counselor Dan Bartlett told reporters aboard Air Force One before landing in Baghdad that a personal meeting was designed to allow Bush and Maliki to "establish a closer relationship than you can just over a telephone."

Rove Cleared, Libby Indicted and Cheney Fingerprints On Leak

The chain of events begin early last evening, after Karl Rove’s lawyer, Robert Luskin, was told by Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald that he did not expect to file charges against Rove, for his role in the leaking of CIA Agent Valarie Plame, as retaliation against her husband, former Ambassador Joseph Wilson, after Wilson criticized the President in a New York Times Op-Ed over the administrations contention of WMD’s in Iraq, and Iraq’s alleged pursuit of uranium for nuclear weapons – after President Bush asserted such in his 2003 State of the Union Address.

Fitzgerald put Rove before the Grand Jury investigating the leak five times, grilling the man called “Bush’s Brain” over his possible false testimony about speaking with reporters about Plame and Wilson.

To date, only former Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby has been indicted in the case.

Both Rove, and Vice President Dick Cheney are potential witnesses that may be called to testify in the Libby case, scheduled to begin in January, 2007.

In a court filing last month, record show that Cheney may be deeply involved in the outing of Plame’s CIA identity, writing notes in the column of the newspaper carrying Wilson’s Op-Ed and directing Libby, and others in the Vice President’s office to rebut the charges.

Intern and Low-Level Staffer Set-Off Chain Pushing President To Iraq

Luskin called the White House early last evening to pass along the good news of Rove being cleared of possible indictment.

According to sources, a West Wing intern, working late, took the call. Realizing the importance of the message, the intern patched the call through to Camp David and, whoever took the call there, another administrative staffer, is where things began to go wrong.

The staffer at Camp David “panicked”, according to our source, and relayed the message that “Rove’s indicted” to Bolten and others in the room.

From there, things moved very quickly and the President was hustled out of Camp David to Air Force One.

Pattern of White House Screw-ups

This would not be the first situation in which White House staffers gave the President wrong information.

Last December, as reported by The Garlic, the Lincoln Group, a Washington, D.C. PR firm, hired by the Pentagon to plant pro-U.S. Military stories in the Iraqi media, gave the President the wrong folder before a speech at the Naval Academy. The President then went out and spoke of the "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq", while media in Iraq carried harsh slams against critics of the President, Senators Jack Murtha, John Kerry and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi

As to the Lincoln Group error, Harold "Ace" Larson, an analyst for the counterintelligence think tank, 'Book'em and Beat'em', said

"Until when, and if, Karl Rove or Dick Cheney gets indicted, this is about the worst thing that could happen for Bush.”

It’s not clear if the President, or anyone on the staff advised the Iraqis of the reason for the surprise visit. News reports at the time of this writing are still carrying the official White House spin, adding in visits by the President to the U.S. Troops stationed in Iraq.

A quickly-assembled advance team handed out to the troops, wallet-sized photos of the dead terrorist, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in preparation for the President’s visit.

The Garlic has learned that President Bush’s surprise visit to Iraq today was not a diplomatic gesture, but rather he was spirited away from his Camp David Summit over the misinformation that Karl Rove had been indicted. Vice President Dick Cheney led the effort, pushing the President out of Washington and away from any possible subpoenas