Monday, March 21, 2005

Lucas To Increase Production of Stars Wars; Liz Taylor Snubbed; No More Future For DeLorean

3D Remakes Tip of Iceburg; New Galaxies, Wars Offer Endless Plots

Just as George Lucas prepares to release, Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith, on May 19th, the final film of his multi-billion-dollar franchise, and re-release all Star Wars films in 3D, a report has surfaced that there are no plans to slow down.

Lucas will actually increase production of his Star Wars films, carrying story lines into new, parallel universes that offer endless plots and a perpetual river of movies, product spin-offs and a bevy of new ancillary items.

Since 1977 and the first Star Wars release, Lucas has sold over $3-billion worth of tickets at box offices around the world.

The report, confidentially obtained by The Garlic, show that a trilogy-per-year will begin in 2006, with a 3D-re-release targeted for three-years later. There will be no overlap on releases, as each trilogy will be a separate story line, with different chararters in different locations.

Plots will be centered around the full family lineage of main characters, such as Luke Skywalker, Darth Vadar, Obi-Wan Kenobi and others. Natalie Portman, who portrays Senator Amidala, is said to have signed a lifetime contract, so that she can age naturally on-screen.

Completely new galaxies will be created, with their stories unfolding, in paralell time to the main Star Wars story line. In some cases, descendants of the main characters will be key to these new galaxies, told in two trilogies on the 'Exploration' period, when early members of The Force fanned out in search of new worlds.

The report projects an endless stream of Star Wars movies and products, that will carry on well after Mr. Lucas's passing, perhaps extending as far as great-great-great-grandchildren.

Liz Taylor Miffed At Snub for Fat Actress Role

Movie legend Liz Taylor is said to be furious that she was not offered the starring role of 'Fat Actress', according to Hollywood insiders.

"I wrote the book on being a fat actress" Taylor barked at a recent news confernces. "How dare they cast that nobody … She should stick to doing bad television commercials …"

Taylor, known for such classics as National Velvet, Cleopatra, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, A Place In The Sun and Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf, has worked with such stars as her former husband Richard Burton, Paul Newman, Montgomery Clift, Laurence Harvey, Spencer Tracy, Marlon Brando and countless others.

Taylor indicated, angrily, that when she first heard about the show, she immediately started putting on more weight, confident that she would get the first call for the role.

"I mean … The Kristie person - who is she? What has she done? Television? … God, she wouldn't have been an extra in any one of my hit films … She doesn't hold a stick next to me … I have bracelets that weigh more then her …"

Obituary: DeLorean Founder Dies at 80

John Z. DeLorean, founder of the DeLorean Motor Company, died Saturday after complications due to a stroke. He was 80-years-old.

DeLorean, dissatisfied with how Detroit was making automobilies, left General Motors in 1973 to achieve his dream of building his own car company. In the early 1980's, his DMC-12 model, the only one produced, captured the imagination of futuristic design with it's stainless steel body and it's door that opened up, as opposed to the traditional side-to-side.

Roughly 9,000+ were produced before the company went bankrupt. Soon after the bankruptcy of DeLorean Motor's, DeLorean was targeted by the U.S. Government for drug trafficing but was acquitted in 1984, after a highly publicized trial.

At the high point, it was a must-have item for the rich and famous. The lasting lore was cemented by the 'Back-To-The-Future' movies, starring Michael Fox and Christopher Lloyd, which featured the DMC-12.

According to his wishes, Mr. DeLorean will be buried, with a small mirror, a tightly rolled $100-bill and his stainless steel casket will have a gull-wing door.

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