Tuesday, June 20, 2006

This Just In! No Terror Alert ... Snow: “It’s Just A Conviction”

This Just In!

White House Says No Terror Alert Over Aide’s Conviction

Rove To Say “On Message” Smearing Dems; Nixed Bush Surprise Visit To Courthouse To Offer Testimony

The White House announced, just a short time ago, that there will be no elevation in the Terror Alert Chart due to the conviction this morning of former Bush Administration official David H. Safavian.

Safavian was convicted on four, out of five, felony counts, for his role in the Jack Abramoff Corruption Scandal, of lying, or making false statements to federal officials and obstruction of justice.

Safavian was the Bush Administrations former chief of staff of the General Services Administration and top federal procurement officer and is the first person to be put on trial in the Abramoff Scandal Case.

Abramoff, who has plead guilty to the charges against him, is said to be cooperating with Federal prosecutors.

Snow: “It’s Just A Conviction”

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow advised the media, that after a three-hour meeting at the White House, with members of FEMA, including Secretary Michael Chertoff, the decision was made not to release a new, false, or old Terror Alert. Since Sept 11th, the White House as used such alarms to hide or offset bad news surrounding the Administration.

“We feel the President is on a roll right now,” offered Snow. “With nailing Zarqawi, his bang-up trip to Baghdad last week, his dumping of Bill Gates, he’s on the upswing and we don’t want to do anything to upset that.”

“As to Safavian,” added Snow, “it’s just a conviction.”

Snow also seemed to go out of his way, to distance the White House from the news of the past day, on Ron Suskind's new book, "The One Percent Doctrine," detailing an alleged alleged Al Qaeda plan to attack the New York City subway system.

“That one is not on us,” declared Snow. “We had nothing to do with that.”

President Mulling Signing Statement To Safavian Conviction

Sources are telling The Garlic that the prevailing view of President Bush was that the Safavian trial, and now conviction, is a “Congressional” problem, an Abramoff problem and that falls into the domain of Karl Rove.

“They’ll dump this on Karl to spin,” said David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party. “You can bet, that before they snapped the handcuffs on Safavian, Rove probably had six-pages of lies, innuendo and smears to turn it around and make it sound like the Democrats did something.”

There are rumors circulating around the Capital, according to Aaronson, that President Bush wanted to make a surprise visit to the courtroom, and the Safavian trial, possibly to offer positive testimony, but that was nixed by Rove.

Aaronson said that, according to one RNC operative, who heard it second-hand, Rove snapped at the President, and Chief of Staff Josh Bolton, for even entertaining the thought.

Rove reportedly fired at the pair that “it’s bad enough we have Scooter Libby being photographed traipsing in and out of court.”

Later, Rove is said to apologize and offered the President that he could, if he wanted to, add a Signing Statement to Safavian’s conviction.

With the President on a roll, White House officials eschewed issuing a new Terror Alert, after the conviction of former Bush Administration official David Safavian

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