Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

News Item: Mad About the Madness, and the Travesties, the Snubs and All the So-Called Experts

10. Issue memo okaying torture of mascots

9. At least one team would get bumped, in favor of another team that Karl Rove liked

8. If his favorite team loses, he would invoke the Patriot Act to reverse the score and give them the win

7. Cheney defends Gonzales, saying any criticism of him "will validate the strategy of al-Qaeda"

6. At halftime of championship game, Scooter Libby gets half-court shot - If he sinks it, he gets his pardon

5. Senator John McCain would be indicted for illegal gambling, for for his campaign website contest

4. Andrea Mitchell would back whatever Gonzales does, probably because she was drunk again

3. Laura Bush would back Gonzales and opine that "Many parts of tournament are stable ahh..now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one loss a day that discourages everybody."

2. Defend his actions of bumping teams from the tournamnet because "they play at the pleasure of the President"

1. It would come out Gonzales, and the White House, has a plan to replace all 64 teams with colleges that are more aligned with Bush Administration policies

Bonus Links

Special Report: Rough Justice - The Case Against Alberto Gonzales

Part I: Alberto Gonzales: A Willing Accessory at Justice

Part II: Alberto Gonzales, Presidential Enabler

Part III: Alberto Gonzales: The "Empty Suit" AG

If Alberto Gonzales was in charge of March Madness, At least one team would get bumped, in favor of another team that Karl Rove liked