Monday, August 06, 2007

Romney Aide Instrumental In Exposing Fake Steve Jobs

Stalked Internet Cafes, Wearing Black Turtlenecks, Even Passing Himself Off As The FSJ

Sources have told The Garlic today that Jay Garrity, the disgraced former director of operations of Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, was "extremely instrumental" in exposing the hi-tech world's most burning secret - who is the Fake Steve Jobs.

New York Times reporter Brad Stone writes in today's edition that Daniel Lyons, a senior editor at Forbes magazine, is the person behind the hilarious and biting satire blog that has rocked Silicon Valley for more than the past year.

A bevy of news publications, magazines and everybody and their cousin were attempting to guess, and out, the Fake Steve Jobs over the past year.

"Garrity really broke this thing wide open," said Harry Connell, Managing Editor of "iSqueal Monthly", a magazine that gives tips to Apple users in navigating the company's iSqueal Hotline, and publishing the best of the iSqueal recordings.

Employing his skills at impersonating police officers, Garrity attempted to find "Steve Jobs", in a misguided effort that would enhance the Romney campaign.

Believing that Jobs, and Apple, had recently purchased YouTube (it was Google that made the deal), Garrity planned to intimidate "Steve Jobs", using his phony badge and other fake police paraphernalia into promoting and highlighting Romney on YouTube.

Romney, recently on the campaign trail, confused YouTube with MySpace.

Garrity, in his pursuit of "Steve Jobs", went to great lengths, flying back-and-forth between the two coasts, and stalking internet cafes, often donning a black turtleneck jersey, and passing himself off at time as the "Fake Steve Jobs", in an effort to dig up new leads.

It's not clear the connection between Garrity and Stone, but Connell believes that it may be that Garrity, when he was with the Romney campaign, donning sunglasses and ear piece, flashing his fake badge, pulled Stone over in one of his phony security warnings to reporters getting too close to Romney.

"He helped sniff this thing out," said Connell.

Neither Stone or Lyons would confirm or deny any contact with Garrity, and Garrity could not be reached for comment.

Unconfirmed rumors, according to Connell, say that Garrity is now passing himself off as "FBI", and is in the process of launching a blog, "Fake Robert Mueller".

"There's been a spike of calls to iSqueal," offered Connell. "People that have come in contact with Garrity, they're not sure, if it is Steve Jobs, or the Fake Steve Jobs who is presenting himself as FBI."

Bonus Link

The Trial of Fake Steve Jobs

Is it Steve Jobs, Daniel Lyons, or, former Romney Aide Jay Garrity?

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