Retro Garlic: The Ultimate E Ticket

Oh, this is rich, so rich ...

'Disneyland' comes to Baghdad with multi-million pound entertainment park

Yes, that's right, let's build an amusement park in the middle of a war zone ... A hot war zone ...

Llewellyn Werner admits he is facing obstacles most amusement park developers never have to deal with – insurgent attacks and looting.

When you are building an amusement park in downtown Baghdad, those risks come with the territory

I think it may impact the fun, just a little, to have to walk around a hot, humid amusement park in helmet and bulletproof vest, but then again, as Mr, Werner says in the interview "“I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t making money,” ... But mostly everything here is for profit.”

I suppose, to help build that gravy train, you won't be able to use your own helmet and bullet proof vest, you'll have to rent one at the park.

And, even if you get the terrorists and insurgents to back off, leaving the park alone, you have to figure in your average, typical, "he was a quiet man" Iraqi-postal-worker type, who shows up with a backpack and wants to play Suicide Bumper Cars.

Wonkette gets to a more pertinent question, asking;

Christ, wasn't the plan to get the oil first and then destroy them with Americanization? Priorities, people ...

And this is some serious, L. Paul Bremer, "Disband-the-Army", "Greet-Us-As-Liberators" optimism;

Ali al-Dabbagh, a spokesman for the Government, is equally optimistic: “There is a shortage of entertainment in the city. Cinemas can’t open. Playgrounds can’t open. The fun park is badly needed for Baghdad. Children don’t have any opportunities to enjoy their childhood.” Mr al-Dabbagh added that entry to the park would be strictly controlled.

Oh yeah, the Retro part...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Breaking News! With DisneyBaghdad, Bush Says “Nobody Wins Hearts and Minds Better Than Disney

With Secret Contract, Working With White House, Military On Building Baghdad Moats; ‘Pirates of the Caliphate’, Other Attractions To Mask Security Measures; State Dept. Touts “DisneyBaghdad Will Pay For Itself”

As to the attractions in DisneyBaghdad, the Disney Co. is making a number of concessions for its’ first theme park in the Middle East. Many of the favorite Disney attractions known to Western audiences will be modified for DisneyBaghdad, such as;

Pirates of the Caliphate

Hall of Ayatollahs

It’s A Small Mosque

Country Camel Jamboree

Snow White and the Seven Imams

Minnie Mouse, Cinderella, Snow White and all other female characters will be required to observe Muslim customs, in public, wearing veils or hijabs and burkas.

If this new Baghdad amusement park is still hiring, say in January 2009, there's a whole bevy of clowns that will be looking for work.