Nothing More Says American Than Being Shot

More details are coming out in the horrible shooting last week, in Binghamton, NY.

Jiverly Wong Fired 98 Shots From Two Handguns In A Minute

The man who gunned down 13 people at an upstate New York immigration center fired 98 shots from two handguns in a little more than a minute, police said Wednesday, a gunslinging feat one expert said would make him a "new Rambo."

[Snip]

Ballistics reports showed Jiverly Wong fired 87 times from a 9mm Beretta and 11 times from a .45-caliber handgun. If he bought the ammunition online, he could have paid as little as $40 for the rounds he fired.

Friends say Wong complained that he only received $200 a week in unemployment benefits.

"Chris Rock says in one of his routines _ have all the guns you want but charge like $1,000 for every bullet," said Jackie Hilly of New Yorkers Against Gun Violence. "I think if you raised the price, you would probably discourage the violence, but I don't think you would prevent it."

Police said almost all 13 victims died instantly. Four others were wounded but survived. Wong, 41, killed himself as police were rushing to the scene. He was found with a satchel containing several full ammunition clips.

Immigrants ... Unemployment ...

No doubt, there'll be a new Lou Dobbs rant, or Faux News meltdown, tying those two together, citing it as the end-of-the-country as we know it.

But the kicker came at the very end of the article;

New York senators Charles Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand said Wednesday they will introduce legislation in Congress to grant honorary citizenship to the victims.

Gosh darn, I'm tearin' up ... Nothing says you’re an American like getting shot in a ambush, while you are at school, or work, or just passing by.

Perhaps Schumer and Gillibrand can bake them apple pies, and, maybe, throw in a couple of tickets to a ball game, as well.

Then give them another Great American experience - The Photo Op with Obsequious Politician


Bonus 2nd Amendment Riffs

Chopped Garlic ... Of Virginia Tech ... The Right To Bear Arms ... And Barry Crimmins

Heston Dead; Coroner Can't Pry Gun From Cold Dead Hands

All I Want For Christmas Is A Brand New Handgun!

As Steve Benin noted, "the NRA must be desperate";

Estimates vary, but the National Rifle Association reportedly spent about $15 million in 2008 on attacks against Barack Obama. The group is no doubt frustrated, not only with the election's outcome, but with its inability to have a serious impact on the campaign.

Or, why else would they be conducting robocalls, during the Holiday Season, and, no less, ignoring the economic meltdown, hitting people up for donations?

Well, the Second Amendment says you can have a gun, but it doesn't specifically mandate that you have a brain.

One such robocall was received Colin McEnroe, at The Hartford Courant.

And, he wrote about it.

Merry Christmas from Wayne LaPierre

So my phone rings today; and after that 1.5-second delay that tells you it''s not a beloved friend, a guy comes on the line and says his name is Chris White from the NRA. Do I want to listen to a message from Wayne LaPierre about "Obama's scheme to ban guns?" You bet I do.

[Snip]

Obama has been "stacking his administration with the most notorious gun-banners in America."

Wayne says he wants to "send a message loud and clear that the fight for our freedom is not coming. It is here and now."

As proof of the administration's deep bias, Wayne says applicants for jobs are asked if they own a gun and, if so, if it is properly registered. (A clear attempt to discriminate against Plaxico Burress.) Of course, the gun question is but one of 63 queries on the famously detailed questionnaire.

After some more of this talk, a different human being comes on the line and tells me that Obama is appointing "a cabinet full of gun haters."

"Could you please tell me the name of at least one of the gun-haters?" I ask.

Go read "Merry Christmas from Wayne LaPierre", it's very funny.

Heston Dead; Coroner Can't Pry Gun From Cold Dead Hands

NRA To Provide Special Custom Casket, If Needed

The Oscar-winning, legendary, superstar actor Charlton Heston died yesterday, at the age of 84, in his Beverly Hills home, in what a family spokesperson indicated was from a diagnosis of symptoms similar to those of Alzheimer's disease.

Heston won an Oscar for his role as Moses in 'The Ten Commandments' and also starred in other major works, including 'Ben Hur, El Cid, The Greatest Show On Earth, Orson Welles' 'Touch of Evil', and Sci-Fi classics 'Planet of the Apes' and Soylent Green

According to the Los Angeles Times, "He was the screen hero of the 1950s and 1960s, a proven stayer in epics, and a pleasing combination of piercing blue eyes and tanned beefcake," David Thomson wrote in his book "The New Biographical Dictionary of Film."

Heston's death, though has caused a problem, of sorts, for the Los Angeles County Coroners Office.

Sources have told The Garlic, when arriving to remove Mr. Heston's body from the home, they haven't been able to pry an antique musket from his hands.

"It's the darnedest thing ... We have had many unusual cases," a spokesperson for the Coroners Office stated, "and this one is right up there."

Heston, during his tenure as president of the National Rifle Association, had made a vow;

In Mr. Heston, the N.R.A. found its embodiment of pioneer values — pride, independence and valor. In a speech at the N.R.A.’s annual convention in 2000, he brought the audience to its feet with a ringing attack on gun-control advocates. Paraphrasing an N.R.A. bumper sticker (“I’ll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hands”) he waved a replica of a colonial musket above his head and shouted defiantly, “From my cold, dead hands!”

Heston, active in politics, was, in his earlier life, a democrat, activist and civil rights supporter.

But things changed.

He became a Republican after Democrats in the Senate blocked the confirmation of Judge Robert Bork, a conservative, to the Supreme Court in 1987. Mr. Heston had supported the nomination and was critical of the Reagan White House for misreading the depth of the liberal opposition.

The Coroners Office, to avoid more extreme measures, indicated they would leave this matter to the family and word came in late from the NRA, that they would provide a special, custom-designed casket, with a turret, to intern Heston with his beloved gun.

Additionally, the NRA will drape the coffin with a specially knit flag, the full text of the 2nd Amendment.

"From cradle to grave," said a somber Wayne LaPierre, the NRA's Executive Vice President and Chief Executive Officer.


Bonus Links

Statement by the Family of Charlton Heston

Lawyers, Guns and Money: Chuck Has Left the Stage...

Steve Clemons: Thou Shalt Not. . .Charlton Heston Dead at 84

YouTube: From my cold dead hands

Chopped Garlic ... Of Virginia Tech ... The Right To Bear Arms ... And Barry Crimmins

Future Stella or Darwin Award Winner?

Typically, I eschew such things, and if I had received this in an email (as is a daily annoyance, from various people, sending every tired Internet joke or "Funny of the Day" or "Send This To 10 People And Your Life Will Change" missive), it probably would have been deleted, with nary a glance.

However, I found this link and was absolutely fascinated by the headline;

Man Shooting Hole Through Wall Kills Wife; Deepwater Man Fatally Shoots Wife While Installing Satellite TV

DEEPWATER, Mo. -- Officials are trying to decide whether to file charges against a Missouri man who fatally shot his wife while trying to install a satellite TV system in the bedroom of their home.

Patsy Long, 34, of Deepwater, died after being shot in the chest with a .22-caliber handgun on Saturday. Her husband, Ronald Long, fired the shot from the inside of their home after several unsuccessful efforts to punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means.

Utterly amazing.

It's horrible enough that we have people with guns that walk onto college campuses, or in to fast food restaurants, now we have to deal with Bob Vila-wannabe-DIYers that are going to be adding guns to their toolboxes?

I'm sure the NRA has prepared a press kit on this on this, to beat back any criticism, arguing that any American citizen has the right to use a gun to make home improvements.

Hell, they probably have booklets, offering advice as to which type and gauge of gun to use for a variety of home improvement projects.

I suppose we'll have to wait to see how this plays out, as to which award Ronald Long ends up with.

If he sues the Satellite TV company, for not warning him about using a gun to install their product, we'll have to nominate him for a Stella Award.

Otherwise, start fast-tracking Mr. Long into the Darwin Award Program.















See. Mr. Long, you could have asked for help

The O.K. Corral Is About To Become A Whole Lot Bigger

The O.K Corral may soon lose it place in history, being reduced to a pillow fight.

If the Supreme Court goes the direction that they all but signed, sealed and delivered yesterday, Charlton Heston won't have to worry about anyone prying anything out of his cold, dead hands.

Here's the straight news accounts;

Los Angeles Times: Supreme Court appears to favor individual gun rights; A majority signals that it thinks the 2nd Amendment is not limited to arms for 'a well-regulated militia.'

"Five of the justices, a bare majority, signaled that they thought the amendment gave individuals a right to have a gun for self-defense. It was not limited to arms for "a well-regulated militia," they said."

Washington Post: Justices Appear Skeptical Of D.C.'s Handgun Ban

"The clauses of the Second Amendment -- "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed" -- have long vexed constitutional scholars. The Supreme Court's last major ruling on the subject, in 1939, stressed the militia-related aspects of the provision.

If you want a most entertaining account of yesterday's session, you gotta check out Dahlia Lithwicks' post "Bearing Arms … Against Bears - Justice Kennedy thinks D.C. residents need protection—from grizzlies."

"Dellinger opens by whooshing us back in time to the framers, who, he says, used the words "bear arms" to mean "rendering a military service." Chief Justice John Roberts immediately asks why the framers wrote "the right of the people" if they merely meant "the right of the militia." Justice Kennedy spoils any suspense by telling Dellinger, in the form of a question, that he has no problem "de-linking" the two clauses to read the first as "reaffirming" the right to a militia and the second as enshrining a right to bear arms. Justice Antonin Scalia does Kennedy one better and contends that the two phrases "go together beautifully." That's five votes to create a fundamental right to bear arms, only eight minutes into the argument."

Read the whole thing ... It's a hoot!


Bonus Cold Dead Hands Links

Chopped Garlic ... Of Virginia Tech ... The Right To Bear Arms ... And Barry Crimmins

Josh Sugarmann: The NRA's Post Massacre Script

Ana Marie Cox: Blaming the Victims ... Because They're Total Wusses