All I Want For Christmas Is A Brand New Handgun!

As Steve Benin noted, "the NRA must be desperate";

Estimates vary, but the National Rifle Association reportedly spent about $15 million in 2008 on attacks against Barack Obama. The group is no doubt frustrated, not only with the election's outcome, but with its inability to have a serious impact on the campaign.

Or, why else would they be conducting robocalls, during the Holiday Season, and, no less, ignoring the economic meltdown, hitting people up for donations?

Well, the Second Amendment says you can have a gun, but it doesn't specifically mandate that you have a brain.

One such robocall was received Colin McEnroe, at The Hartford Courant.

And, he wrote about it.

Merry Christmas from Wayne LaPierre

So my phone rings today; and after that 1.5-second delay that tells you it''s not a beloved friend, a guy comes on the line and says his name is Chris White from the NRA. Do I want to listen to a message from Wayne LaPierre about "Obama's scheme to ban guns?" You bet I do.

[Snip]

Obama has been "stacking his administration with the most notorious gun-banners in America."

Wayne says he wants to "send a message loud and clear that the fight for our freedom is not coming. It is here and now."

As proof of the administration's deep bias, Wayne says applicants for jobs are asked if they own a gun and, if so, if it is properly registered. (A clear attempt to discriminate against Plaxico Burress.) Of course, the gun question is but one of 63 queries on the famously detailed questionnaire.

After some more of this talk, a different human being comes on the line and tells me that Obama is appointing "a cabinet full of gun haters."

"Could you please tell me the name of at least one of the gun-haters?" I ask.

Go read "Merry Christmas from Wayne LaPierre", it's very funny.

Heston Dead; Coroner Can't Pry Gun From Cold Dead Hands

NRA To Provide Special Custom Casket, If Needed

The Oscar-winning, legendary, superstar actor Charlton Heston died yesterday, at the age of 84, in his Beverly Hills home, in what a family spokesperson indicated was from a diagnosis of symptoms similar to those of Alzheimer's disease.

Heston won an Oscar for his role as Moses in 'The Ten Commandments' and also starred in other major works, including 'Ben Hur, El Cid, The Greatest Show On Earth, Orson Welles' 'Touch of Evil', and Sci-Fi classics 'Planet of the Apes' and Soylent Green

According to the Los Angeles Times, "He was the screen hero of the 1950s and 1960s, a proven stayer in epics, and a pleasing combination of piercing blue eyes and tanned beefcake," David Thomson wrote in his book "The New Biographical Dictionary of Film."

Heston's death, though has caused a problem, of sorts, for the Los Angeles County Coroners Office.

Sources have told The Garlic, when arriving to remove Mr. Heston's body from the home, they haven't been able to pry an antique musket from his hands.

"It's the darnedest thing ... We have had many unusual cases," a spokesperson for the Coroners Office stated, "and this one is right up there."

Heston, during his tenure as president of the National Rifle Association, had made a vow;

In Mr. Heston, the N.R.A. found its embodiment of pioneer values — pride, independence and valor. In a speech at the N.R.A.’s annual convention in 2000, he brought the audience to its feet with a ringing attack on gun-control advocates. Paraphrasing an N.R.A. bumper sticker (“I’ll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hands”) he waved a replica of a colonial musket above his head and shouted defiantly, “From my cold, dead hands!”

Heston, active in politics, was, in his earlier life, a democrat, activist and civil rights supporter.

But things changed.

He became a Republican after Democrats in the Senate blocked the confirmation of Judge Robert Bork, a conservative, to the Supreme Court in 1987. Mr. Heston had supported the nomination and was critical of the Reagan White House for misreading the depth of the liberal opposition.

The Coroners Office, to avoid more extreme measures, indicated they would leave this matter to the family and word came in late from the NRA, that they would provide a special, custom-designed casket, with a turret, to intern Heston with his beloved gun.

Additionally, the NRA will drape the coffin with a specially knit flag, the full text of the 2nd Amendment.

"From cradle to grave," said a somber Wayne LaPierre, the NRA's Executive Vice President and Chief Executive Officer.


Bonus Links

Statement by the Family of Charlton Heston

Lawyers, Guns and Money: Chuck Has Left the Stage...

Steve Clemons: Thou Shalt Not. . .Charlton Heston Dead at 84

YouTube: From my cold dead hands

Chopped Garlic ... Of Virginia Tech ... The Right To Bear Arms ... And Barry Crimmins