Retro Garlic: Gates vs. Iron Man

The other day we posted "Robert Gates Is In The House!", for his address taking on, and shooting an arrow across the bow of, the Military-Industrial Complex.



Yesterday, Robert Farley and Davida H. Isaacs, over on The American Prospect, put up an amusing, and informative, post, relating to the colossally-large elephant in the room;

The Stark Reality of Defense Contracting ...A summer blockbuster tackles disputes endemic to the military-industrial complex

In Iron Man 2, billionaire industrialist Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) risks billion-dollar pieces of equipment to impress guests at a birthday party -- a big mistake for a defense contractor. After all, Stark's reckless debauchery provides the perfect pretext for the U.S. government to take away his Iron Man suit. Explosions, tattoos, and Scarlett Johansson notwithstanding, the disputes between Tony Stark and his antagonists revolve around ownership of the rights to the Iron Man technology. Iron Man 2 is the most expensive movie ever made about an intellectual property dispute.

[snip]

In the United States, inventors are supposed to profit from their creations, as emphasized in the original comics. But Iron Man 2 takes a different tack. While trying to fend off Vanko, Stark is pressured by the U.S. government to give up the secrets of the Iron Man suit. After Stark refuses a senator's demand that he relinquish his body-armor technology, the government forcibly takes it from him, only to turn it over to a competitor that then uses the technology to fulfill its own defense contract. Consciously or no, this echoes the real world; the United States government can take such actions with almost total legal impunity.



These inventors theoretically have their own superpower at their disposal: the Fifth Amendment's "Takings Clause," which requires compensation for government appropriation. But it has one weakness: the military and state secrets privilege, which has been invoked with increasing frequency in the past 25 years. Perhaps most notably, it has been used to prevent suspected terrorists from obtaining access to incriminating information. Less well known is the role it has played in suppressing intellectual-property owners' attempts to recover compensation for government use of their innovations.

[snip]

Stark didn't need a monetary incentive to develop his technology. And presumably Stark, either individually or through his company, retained sufficient political pull to obtain compensation for that stolen technology without having to rely on the Takings Clause. Of course, he's just a fictional comic book hero. But as audiences watch Senate efforts to persuade Tony Stark to relinquish Iron Man technology to the U.S. Government, they should keep in mind that Stark's greatest power might not be his full-body armor but instead his company's political connections.

Suit up there, Mr. Gates ...

Or, call in the cavalry!

Robert Gates Is In The House!

This particular monster can read minds, you see. He knows every thought, he can feel every emotion. Oh yes, I did forget something, didn't I? I forgot to introduce you to the monster. This is the monster. His name is Anthony Fremont. He's six years old, with a cute little-boy face and blue, guileless eyes. But when those eyes look at you, you'd better start thinking happy thoughts, because the mind behind them is absolutely in charge.

It's a Good Life (The Twilight Zone)

No doubt, military-industrial contractors, around the country, will spend the night attempting to summoning Anthony, from the Twilight Zone, pleading with him to wish Secretary of Defense Robert Gates into the cornfield.

Look at all the bad things he's saying, they'll tell Anthony.

Doesn't that make Anthony angry, they ask Anthony, in-between whispers to wish Gates into the cornfield.

Then, they'll down their second/third/fourth martini.

Robert Gates was in the house!

Robert Gates ... In the mother-fucking house!



Speaking at the Eisenhower Library in Abilene, Kan., on the 65th anniversary of the end of World War II in Europe, Gates let those contractors know;

Robert Gates is in the mother-fucking house!

“Eisenhower was wary of seeing his beloved republic turn into a muscle-bound, garrison state—militarily strong, but economically stagnant and strategically insolvent,” Gates said.

Gates acknowledged that saving money in the defense budget “will mean overcoming steep institutional and political challenges, many lying outside the five walls of the Pentagon.”

Apart from making the case against the alternate engine for the F-35 and more C-17s, Gates raised the alarm over Congress’s resistance to increasing the premiums and co-pays on the military’s health insurance. The Pentagon has attempted in the last several years to make modest increases to the co-pays and premiums in order to bring the health care costs under control, Gates said.

“Leaving aside the sacred obligation we have to America’s wounded warriors, healthcare costs are eating the Defense Department alive, rising from $19 billion a decade ago to $50 billion—roughly the entire foreign affairs and assistance budget of the State Department,” Gates said.

In case tightening collars denied oxygen to their brains, and the contractors were gasping for air;

“Another category ripe for scrutiny should be overhead,” he said. “According to an estimate by the Defense Business Board, overhead, broadly defined, makes up roughly 40 percent of the Department’s budget.”

Gates said the Pentagon’s approach to coming up with the requirements for specific programs and contract must change. Requirements for weapons systems should be based on a “wider real world context,” he said.

And, not to be overlooked, Gates threw down against the Congress;

“For example, should we really be up in arms over a temporary projected shortfall of about 100 Navy and Marine strike fighters relative to the number of carrier wings, when America’s military possesses more than 3,200 tactical combat aircraft of all kinds?” Gates asked in a reference to the congressional push to buy more Boeing F/A-18 Super Hornet fighter jets.

“Does the number of warships we have and are building really put America at risk when the U.S. battle fleet is larger than the next 13 navies combined, 11 of which belong to allies and partners? Is it a dire threat that by 2020 the United States will have only 20 times more advanced stealth fighters than China?”

Here that Congress?

Robert Gates is in the mother-fucking house!

Libby Spencer, over on The Impolitic, knows that Robert Gates is in the mother-fucking house;

I've been thinking about this for the last few months. It's good to see DefSec Gates address wasteful military spending. He takes on all the sacred cows inside the Pentagon including medical benefits and so-called overhead, but I think the big money is in unnecessary equipment.

John Nichols, over on The Nation, knows Robert Gates is in the mother-fucking house;

The question, of course, is whether members of House and Senate -- Republicans and Democrats, conservatives and liberals -- are prepared to recognize that real world context and operate within it.

The fact of the matter is that no discussion of cutting spending, balancing budgets and reducing deficits is serious if it does not include a discussion of how to cut Pentagon waste and abuse.

The Secretary of Defense is ready for that discussion.

Hear that military-industrial contractors?

Hear that Congress?

And Anthony, you ain't got a cornfield big enough, cuz....

Robert Gates is in the mother-fucking house!

Breaking ... Obama Team Vetting Food Tasters

Sources have told The Garlic this evening, that within minutes after announcing his National Security Team, President-Elect Barack Obama's transition squad began a scheduled vetting of food tasters, that will be employed in the administration.

"This has been in the cards for quite some time," indicated the source, an Obama insider.

"Once they won the primary, and began thinking about the "Team of Rivals" thing, this was put in motion."

It is not known who these potential "Food Tasters" are, how they will work, if they will actually taste the food for the President, or merely test it.

The Obama Team has no concerns, as to the integrity of the White House Chef, or any member of the staff.

However, guidelines are continuing to be worked out.

During Cabinet meetings, in which the President will attend, Cabinet members, and any staff, will have their own, separate table of food and beverages, the President, his own, guarded by Secret Service agents.

The President will drink from a covered, travel-type mug, and any food brought into the meetings must be sealed, and have a Secret Service escort.

Other meetings (outside of the White House), and formal events, in which Cabinet members are in attendance, a similar protocol will be implemented.

Should a Cabinet member visit the President in the Oval Office, that Cabinet member may have a full search conducted, before entering, and they will be instructed to sit, at minimum, ten-feet away from any food items the President may have in his office.

Another recommendation, that our source indicates the President-Elect was balking at, is that he must wear surgical latex gloves when shaking hands with any Cabinet member.

More, as this story develops ...


Bonus Links

CNN: Obama rolls out national security team

Robert Stein: Clintons Front and Center Again

Mary Ann Akers: It Hurts To Be John Kerry Today

Katharine Q. Seelye: Live Blog: Presenting the National Security Team

Frank James: Obama rebukes Bush years with Clinton

Kevin Drum: Press Conference Follies

Retro Garlic: Straighten Up and Fly Right

Off we go into the wild blue yonder,
Climbing high into the sun;
Here they come zooming to meet our thunder,
At 'em boys, Give 'er the gun! (Give 'er the gun hey!)
Down we dive, spouting our flame from under,
Off with one hell of a roar!*
We live in fame or go down in flame. Hey!
Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!

Well, at least two big cheeses of the U.S. Air Force will be making that "wild blue yonder" journey, right out the door, courtesy of Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates.

Air Force Chief, Secretary Resign (Updated Yet Again)

But, according to Air Force Times, "the last straw appears to be a [damning] report on nuclear weapons handling... [that] critical report convinced Gates that changes must be made." That's the reason Gates gave reporters, in a Pentagon press conference today. But it might just have been the excuse he needed to can a pair of bureaucratic adversaries -- read on.

The service inadvertently shipped "four high-tech electrical nosecone fuses for Minuteman nuclear warheads were [t]o Taiwan in place of helicopter batteries. The mistake was discovered in March — a year and a half after the erroneous shipment," The New York Times reports. "The mishandling of the nosecone fuses was viewed as another indication of lack of discipline within America’s nuclear infrastructure, and was another embarrassment for the people in charge of those weapons."

Last fall, the Air Force's 5th Bomb Wing lost track of six nuclear warheads. Then, in mid-May, the service flunked a nuclear surety inspection, when security personnel couldn't even be bothered to stop playing videogames on their cellphones. Now, it looks like Moseley and Wynne has some serious time to play with themselves.

From The NYT;

Never before has a defense secretary ousted both a service secretary and a service chief, according to senior Pentagon officials. Since taking office 18 months ago, Mr. Gates has made accountability of theme of his tenure. He has also fired senior Army officials, after disclosures of shoddy conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, the service’s premier medical facility for wounded soldiers.

“Our policy is clear,” Mr. Gates said. “We will ensure the complete physical control of nuclear weapons, and we will properly handle the associated components at all times. It is a tremendous responsibility, and one we must and will never take lightly.”

I'm sure these two must think of this action as totally unfair.

They only screwed up five or six nukes ...

Meanwhile, Golden Boy Petraeus loses nearly 200,000 rifles and pistols, and he gets bumped up the ladder!

The injustice!

Oh Yeah, the Retro part;

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons How Air Force Mistakenly Flew 5 Nuclear Warheads Across Country

Okay Conspiracy Theorists, Break Out The Tinfoil Hats - Nuke Solider Found Dead


Bonus Bonus

Nat King Cole, "Straighten up and fly right"

Quick, Get Condi The Cliff Notes on al Qaeda ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Condi, Condi, Condi ...

It's been said that your star is fading and, by the looks of it, you're sinking faster than Ted Steven's plans to add another addition to his house.

I mean, your off on confirming the arms sales ... Errr, a new diplomatic mission, and they send you over there with a chaparone - The Secretary of Defense... Not so criptic a message there, heh, girl? ...

Is Cheney busting your balls about you taking the back seat, now that he, seemingly, has The Commander Guy back on the "Let's Bomb Iran" bus? ...

Did they ship Gates over with you, to help you bone-up on who the al Qaeda is that we're fighting, at least, for this week?

Our Garlic Poll Voters believe that to be the case, that you've been hitting the books to get it down (though, for awhile there, the voting was heading towards you being Michael Vick's bitch, that is, in Let's the dogfighting business).

So, not to leave you in a lurch, we have a little limerick here, that you can use to help you remember which al Qaeda is it we are touting, for you to be on-message with the Bush Grindhouse.

There was an al Qaeda in Pakistan
Safe and secure due to no plan
But the Neocons took a turn
For which now Baghdad burns
And it is al Qaeda in Iraq that we attack

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 23 - July 30, 2007

Where's Condi Rice? Is she out, or is she ...

1. Studying ... Having a hard time getting down which Al Qaeda group were fighting in Iraq Tally 36%

2. With Michael Vick's indictment, had to scurry off and shut down her illegal dogfighting joint Tally 34%

3. In an undisclosed location - White House wants her as far away from any subpoenas as possible Tally 15%

4. Like the Iraqi Parliament, taking the summer off Tally 15%

This week’s Poll - The Iraqi Government is going on vacation for the month of August, which likely means ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Disjointed Chief - Peter Pace Is Jumpin' ... Another Garlic Song

Man, these guys are stone cold.

They're throwing one of their own under the bus - before any shit flies.

I mean, they took him by the arms and legs, swung him back-and-forth a few times to get some momentum and heaved him in front of that big, ol' Greyhound barreling down the road.

Fearing that the reconfirmation of Joint Chief of Staff Peter Pace would hold him - and the Bush Grindhouse - accountable for the disaster they have wrought in Iraq (hmmmm, does "disaster" even cover it anymore? Is there a word that can accurately describe how Bush & Co. have fucked up Iraq, and by way of that, the rest of the world?), they chucked him.

On well, easy lie, easy go, I guess ...

So, since we didn't write anything else today, might as well serenade the Disjointed Chief with some Fats Waller music, as he boogies out the door.

Goes to the tune of The Joint Is Jumpin' so sing along as you can.

Peter Pace Is Jumpin'

Peter Pace is jumpin',
he's really jumpin',
Come in cats an' check your hats,
I mean Peter Pace is jumpin'.
The Pentagon's thumpin',
The DefSec's bumpin'.
This Iraq spot is more than hot,
In fact Peter Pace is jumpin',

Check your weapons at the door,
Be sure to pay Blackwater..
Burn your leather on the floor,
grab any of Bush's daughter.
Baghdad is rockin',
Iran is knockin'.
We're all bums when the Congress comes.
I mean Peter Pace is jumpin'.
Let it beat!

Peter Pace is jumpin',
He's really jumpin',
Even Rove is on his toes,
I mean Peter Pace is jumpin'.
No time for talkin',
It's tim for walkin'
(Yes!)
Grab a jug 'cause they've planted bugs,
I mean Peter Pace is jumpin'.
Get your lawyer, work you spin,
There's plenty when you're ditchin'.
Who is that that just came in?
Just look at the way Gate's switchin'.
Don't mind the hour,
''Cause Cheney's really in power.
He got bail if we go to jail.
I mean Peter Pace is jumpin'.
Peter Pace is jumpin',
He's really jumpin',
We're all bums when the Congress comes.
I mean Peter Pace is jumpin'.
Don't give your right name.
No, no, no!

Links

Listen To Fats Waller Sing 'The Joint Is Jumpin'

Joint Chiefs Chair Will Bow Out; Pentagon Wary of Thorny Reconfirmation Hearings

New Joint Chiefs Nominee: ‘This War Is Going To Go On For A Long Time. It’s A Generational War’

White House Plunges Into New Iraq Strategy; Moving From ‘Keystone Cops’ To ‘Marx Brothers’












Here's a Three-Card Monte if I ever saw one