Top Ten Cloves: Things That Happened To Olympic Torch In San Francisco

News Item: Olympic Torch Protests Overwhelm San Francisco

10. Stopped off at the Buena Vista Café for a couple of Irish Coffee's

9. Due to the size of the crowds, it got put to work, cooking crabs, down on Pier 39

8. It refused to stay lit, unless it got to ride the Cable Cars

7. Joe Montana wanted to see how far he could throw it

6. The decoy torches they used were simply sculpted loaves of sourdough bread

5. All the runners took turns, riding it, sliding down Lombard Street

4. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom delayed program, posing with it, with both his wife and his mistress

3. Groups of tourists mistook it for Coit Tower and tied up runners for hours, taking pictures

2. Running by Castro Street, it got fitted for chaps

1. Looking to save her job, Katie Couric muscled in, trying to interview the torch


Bonus Olympics Riffs

Top Ten Cloves: Ways U.S. Winter Olympic Team Can Win More Gold Medals

Top Ten Cloves: Problems With Being A Woman Figure Skater In The Winter Olympics

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Viewing The London 2012 Olympic Logo Can Cause

Start Your Katie Deathwatches!

Boy, a whole bunch of celebrity blogs and websites must be busy little bees today.

There's so much to do.

Whole new slates of graphics ... The Death Clocks and Counters have to be put together ... Compiling all the old links of every little piece of gossip, sleaze, faux pas and just plain goofy news they can find.

All must be ready to go at a moments notice, at the drop-of-a-hat, PDQ, etc ...

All must be ready to be fired up, the moment that ear-shattering "THUD" hits her on the derrière, as she is ushered out of the building.

What's all the hub-bub?

From the WSJ - CBS News, Katie Couric Are Likely to Part Ways

After two years of record-low ratings, both CBS News executives and people close to Katie Couric say that the "CBS Evening News" anchor is likely to leave the network well before her contract expires in 2011 -- possibly soon after the presidential inauguration early next year.

Her departure would cap a difficult episode for CBS, which brought Ms. Couric to the network with considerable fanfare in a bid to catapult "Evening News" back into first place. Excluding several weeks of her tenure, Ms. Couric never bested the ratings of interim anchor Bob Schieffer, who was named to host the broadcast temporarily after "Evening News" anchor Dan Rather left the newscast in the wake of a discredited report on George W. Bush's National Guard service.

One possible new job for Ms. Couric: succeeding Larry King at CNN. Mr. King, who is 74 years old, has a contract with the network into 2009. CNN President Jon Klein, a CBS veteran with close ties to some at the network, has expressed admiration for Ms. Couric's work, and the two are friends. They had lunch in late January, and the anchor attended Mr. Klein's birthday party in March. Time Warner Inc.'s CNN said, "Larry King is a great talent who consistently delivers the highest profile guests, and we have no plans to make a change." Through a publicist, Mr. King declined to comment.

Katie in suspenders, barking "Hello Ohio! ... What's on your mind!"?

Oh my!

New York Magazine has a better idea;

But we think that's a waste of everything that Couric is good at: spontaneity, humor, and legginess. What about a reality show? We can see it now — America's Next Top Evening News Anchor. And just like on Tyra's version, nobody would ever lay eyes on the winner again!

But would that be enough?

From Howard Kurtz, in the WaPo;

Couric admitted last week that the constricted nature of the 22-minute format had left little room for the humor and freewheeling approach that once defined her style. "It's really hard to show that side of my personality on the evening news, and that's a frustration for me," she said.

This has me wondering if Ms. Perky ever watched an evening news show, be it CBS's or any other - before she took the job?

"It's really hard to that side of my personality"? ... "Frustrated"?

What the hell did she expect?

Segments with Mr. Gadget? ... Cooking casseroles with Martha Stewart?

It's a fucking hard news program, you idiot!

A real piece of twisted irony looms.

What if CBS does dump the perky newswoman, only to replace her with the former CBS alum, Meredeth Viera?

Oh, how wicked that would be ...


Bonus Perky Riffs

James Joyner/OTB: Katie Couric - CBS News Divorce Imminent

Gawker: The Rise And Fall Of Katie Couric

Russell Mokhiber and Robert Weissman/CommonDreams: Katie Couric Versus Amy Goodman

Top Ten Cloves: Things To Look Forward To When Katie Couric Takes Over As CBS News Anchor

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Katie Couric Could Have Made The Edwards Interview Better

Katie ... Now, Just Click Your Heels Together Three Times ...

Good Post Alert - Larisa Alexandrovna's "Mississippi Justice: Bush US Attorney targeted my wife, supporters and friends"

Here's yet another glimpse of the Bush Grindhouse justice system

Larisa Alexandrovna, over on The Raw Story, has a great piece today, of some serious shenanigans that played out down in Mississippi

Mississippi Justice: Bush US Attorney targeted my wife, supporters and friends

Mississippi Supreme Court Justice Oliver Diaz Jr. was indicted in 2003 on charges relating to his receipt of a loan guarantee from trial lawyer Paul Minor - a personal friend and the largest Democratic donor in Mississippi - to help defray campaign debts. A Bush-appointed US Attorney, Dunnica Lampton, brought charges of bribery against Diaz, Minor and two other Mississippi judges. Diaz was acquitted of all those charges... Within days of his acquittal, Diaz was indicted for a second time. He was again acquitted.

Normally, a criminal investigation begins after a crime is committed," Diaz told me. "Investigators are sent out to gather evidence and a list of suspects is drawn up. Sometimes an investigation is begun after a complaint is made about suspicious activity. In our case neither of these things occurred."

"In other words," he continued. "An individual was singled out for examination from the federal government and prosecutors then attempted to make his conduct fit into some criminal statute. This is not how our system of justice is supposed to operate."

More of Karl Rove's vision of an America under Republican Majority

Check it out, it's a great interview.


Bonus Links

Good Posts Alert - Larisa Alexandrovna's "The Permanent Republican Majority"

Larisa Alexandrovna: Alabama Democrats are Under Attack

This Is Huge! ... Siegalman Released On Appeal!

This Date ... On The Garlic

Garlic History - On This Day

10 April 2007... On The Garlic

Retro Garlic ... Must Be His Friends and Family Circle ...


10 April 2006... On The Garlic

White House Iran War Rhetoric Has CIA Nervous, Taking Precautions; Gallows Humor Sprouts “Outted Pool” At Langley; Agents Suggested To Warn Spouses Of Writing Critical Op-Eds

Top Ten Cloves: Ways The White House Celebrated Iraqi Freedom Day

Ambassador Crocker Meets Eddie Izzard

Or, "The Lord almighty came down and sat in the middle of the table there and said ‘Mr. Ambassador you can eliminate every Al Qaeda source in Afghanistan and Pakistan, or every Al Qaeda personnel in Iraq,’ which would you pick?"

Sometime ago (nearly two-years) the Friedman Unit, after ol' Lead-Luvin' Tom, was established, designating the term to mark six-months as a unit of time for things to turn around in Iraq.

So, with the Golden Boy, General Petraeus yesterday, once again, calling for extra time, now 45-days (to evaluate things after they stop the troop pulldown), the question to be asked is what do you call it, in relation to the Friedman Unit.

The Petraeus Pint?

The Petraeus Horseshoe (both for his sunny optimism, and with a nod to Colt 45 Malt Liquor)?

The Bush Grindhouse's marketing seminar didn't go so well

In fact, if it were a sporting event, say, a basketball game, the various Senators can retire to the bench, and bring in the second team scrubs to mop up.

We have heard, for years, the bedrock principle for our being in Iraq (keep in mind, this has shifted many times), was that Iraq was the "Central Front on the War on Terror".

It was Al Qaeda, Al Qaeda, Al Qaeda, all the time.

If we moved one inch away from Iraq, teams of Al Qaeda would swoop in to that inch, and build a metropolis of terror in it.

Hell, even announcing that we would move that one inch out of Iraq, brought sordid tales of Al Qaeda, impatiently waiting at the border, moving van engines running.

Well, that got blown out of the water yesterday, and not by some "defeatocrat" or anybody "Feeling morally, intellectually confused?"

No, it came from the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, Ryan Crocker.

From Think Progress;

SEN. BIDEN: Mr. Ambassador, is Al Qaeda a greater threat to US interests in Iraq, or in the Afghan-Pakistan border region?

AMB. CROCKER: Mr. Chairman, Al Qaeda is a strategic threat to the United States wherever it is, in my view–

SEN. BIDEN: Where is most of it? If you could take it out? You had a choice: Lord almighty came down and sat in the middle of the table there and said ‘Mr. Ambassador you can eliminate every Al Qaeda source in Afghanistan and Pakistan, or every Al Qaeda personnel in Iraq,’ which would you pick?

AMB. CROCKER: Well given the progress that has been made again Al Qaeda in Iraq, the significant decrease in its capabilities, the fact that it is solidly on the defensive, and not in a position of–

SEN. BIDEN: Which would you pick, Mr. Ambassador?

AMB. CROCKER: I would therefore pick Al Qaeda in the Pakistan-Afghanistan border area.

SEN BIDEN: That would be a smart choice.

Think Progress also has the video of it, so check it out.

And that brings us to our Eddie Izzard moment.

Writing in Salon today is Mark Benjamin, with "Sizing up Petraeus on Iraq; The top U.S. general gave Congress an upbeat assessment of the war Tuesday. Here's the reality behind the rhetoric".

And there's this gem;

Claim: The Iraqis have redesigned their flag -- which is a big deal because it suggests that Iraq is pulling together as a nation and that things will turn out well.

Crocker: "In January, a vote by the Council of Representatives to change the design of the Iraqi flag means the flag now flies in all parts of the country for the first time in years."

We now turn it over to Mr. Izzard.

Eddie Izzard - Do you have a flag?




Time to cue up Que Sera Sera...


Bonus Through The Looking Glass Links

Ezra Klein: A Superman Approach to Foreign Policy; Our nation's favorite comic book hero might have had the right idea: Use power sparingly and judiciously

Barry Crimmins: Prevarication Nation

Robert Scheer: Everything His President Wants to Hear

Nicole Belle/C&L: The Situation Room: Michael Ware On Who Wields Power In Iraq

"What If Spartacus Had To Account For 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols ..."

Tom Engelhardt: Launching Brand Petraeus

Honeysuckle Rose ... White House claims to give up its ‘rose-colored glasses’

When you're passin' by,
Flowers droop and sigh
I know the reason why
You're much sweeter
Goodness knows
Honeysuckle rose

Well, if The Commander Guy, or Cheney, walks by and "flowers droop and sigh", I doubt it would be due to the thinking that they are "much sweeter".

More then likely, they'd be scared out of their wits, that they would be invaded and occupied, perhaps a mini-Shock-and-Awe would rain down on the flower bed.

I don't know if this was meant to lay down cover, for the testimony of the Dynamic Duo (Petraeus and Ryan) this week, but on Monday, Bush Grindhouse spokesperson Tony Fratto stepped out of the Unreality Bubble, to, essentially, assert there is no Unreality Bubble.

White House claims to give up its ‘rose-colored glasses’

Q: Also, how does this latest violence in Iraq and the latest uncertainty about what’s going on color the Petraeus-Crocker testimony this time around? It obviously has changed the equation. I mean, weeks ago it looked like the surge was — you know, had this pretty rosy cast, and now with all this renewed violence, I think it has changed the dynamics. So how has this changed the equation?

FRATTO: Well, I think we’ve thrown out all of the rose-colored glasses in how we look at Iraq, and try to look at it through clear lenses as to what is actually going on in the country.

And then again, a few minutes later, after a question about Iraqis protesting the American troop presence in Iraq:

Q: Do you think it takes any of the steam, though, out of what Petraeus and Crocker will be saying when you see those images juxtaposed?

FRATTO: No, I don’t think so. I mean, it’s — look, every — like I said, we threw out the rose-colored glasses. I think we have a very clear-eyed view of what’s happening in Baghdad.

Steve Benen also offers a long list of the Bush Grindhouse wearing those rose-colored glasses, and Think Progress has a video on it.

With The Commander Guy's legacy hanging on what happens with the Iraq Quagmire, I doubt very much they've thrown away the rose-colored glasses.

More likely, they've just upgraded to a pair with photochromic lenses.

Does It Come With A Crown, and Sash?

At this point in time, or, at least this afternoon, I don't have the energy to delve into the abyss that is our 43rd President.

It is a dark, foul hole, the stench strong enough to singe eyebrows.

And, sadly, very sadly (Thank You U.S. Congress, Thank You Nancy Pelosi, for pulling that table away), he still has roughly eight-more months to dig a deeper hole, to create a more noxious odor.

We speak of the recent distinction, of The Commander Guy being voted "The Worst President - Ever" by a group of historians

HNN Poll: 61% of Historians Rate the Bush Presidency Worst

A Pew Research Center poll released last week found that the share of the American public that approves of President George W. Bush has dropped to a new low of 28 percent.

An unscientific poll of professional historians completed the same week produced results far worse for a president clinging to the hope that history will someday take a kinder view of his presidency than does contemporary public opinion.

And here's one (of many) choice quotes from the historians in the survey;

“No individual president can compare to the second Bush,” wrote one. “Glib, contemptuous, ignorant, incurious, a dupe of anyone who humors his deluded belief in his heroic self, he has bankrupted the country with his disastrous war and his tax breaks for the rich, trampled on the Bill of Rights, appointed foxes in every henhouse, compounded the terrorist threat, turned a blind eye to torture and corruption and a looming ecological disaster, and squandered the rest of the world’s goodwill. In short, no other president’s faults have had so deleterious an effect on not only the country but the world at large.”

Doubt they will use that, or reference this survey, in the next mailer for contributions to his library.

Bonus Links

Scott Harper: Worst. President. Ever

Digby: Glib, Contemptuous, Ignorant, Incurious

Matthew Yglesias: Worst President Ever

An Absolution Long Overdue

The Boston Red Sox organization, finally, showed some a moment of class.

For more then 20-years, they've let a man, one man, take the heat, be mocked, scourged, and even, I believe, threatened, without lifting a finger.

The Boston Media also shares in that shame.

We speak of Bill Buckner, infamous for his error in Game Six of the 1986 World Series, a game the New York Mets went on to win, and then winning Game Seven, to dash, once again, the hopes of Red Sox Nation (considerably smaller than it is now), last raised, at that time, in 1975.

Yesterday, for the home opener at Fenway, the ring ceremony, the legends walk, a surprise was unleashed.

Bill Buckner emerged from behind the giant flag draping the Green Monster and the crowd stood and cheered.

A standing ovation, long and loud, as Buckner had the honor of throwing the ceremonial first pitch (to former teammate, Dwight "Dewey" Evans).

Buckner's appearance marks end of an error

Between the Seams | Bill Buckner feted in Fenway return

Long, long overdue.

Sure, Buckner made an error, but the bigger goat of that World Series was, if not Manager John McNamara, then Red Sox pitcher Calvin Schiraldi.

He was the hot shot in the bullpen that year, then choked in the Series.

Schiraldi blew leads in both Game Six and Game Seven.

This Date ... On The Garlic

Garlic History - On This Day

9 April 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things Don Imus Will Do During His Suspension


9 April, 2006... On The Garlic

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves

Garlic Poll Results - When President Bush Decides To Declassify Intelligence In Order To Leak It, He First ...

Editor's Note ... Getting Back On Track Today ...

Good Afternoon Garlic Fans

We hope you're well today ...

Lo Siento for the lack of posting yesterday ... Just felt totally beat-up, with a double-dose of the two A's - Allergies and Aunt ... Energy levels were extremely low and rather then trying to wing it, I just settled for not sitting at the computer and let the world run by me for the day ...

So, getting back on track (the two A's are still present, but less-so today) and planning on a bevy of posts to be put up today and tomorrow.

Many Thanks, once again, for coming by and visiting The Garlic.

This Date ... On The Garlic

Garlic History - On This Day

8 April 2007... On The Garlic

CHRIST SLEPT HERE: A TALE OF EASTER


8 April 2006... On The Garlic

Special Essay - 2006: A First-Quarter Scorecard from Barry Crimmins

Top Ten Cloves: Things White House Will Say To Claim President Didn’t Leak Classified Information


8 April, 2005... On The Garlic

Feng Shui Expert Warns of Pope's Final Resting; Says Space Used Wrong Side; Can Upset Karma

Iraq Chooses Prime Minister; Now Await Approval, Orders From Bush Team

Top Ten Cloves: How Jane Fonda Can Sell More Copies of Her New Book

The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving

It's a Stumblin' Bumblin John McCainPalooza!

And this is happening when he doesn't have any heat on him!

If Preston Sturges were alive, and working, today, he'd have to make a movie titled "Christmas In April".

Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain - The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving!


Gift #1

First, it seems that SB John took, at least for today, The Garlic's advise, and spoke before a military audience, albiet, a Veterans of Foreign Wars crowd, in Kansas City, Missouri, spinning on the fabulous success, that apparently only he, Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman, as well as the Bush Grindhouse, can see.

From Think Progress;

A telling moment in his remarks came when he was arguing why President Bush’s surge “dramatically turned around the situation in Iraq.” Just as he reached this point in his speech, MSNBC cut away to report on escalating violence in Iraq:

McCAIN: Faced with the prospect of defeat, we had two fundamental choices. We could retreat from Iraq and accept the horrible consequences of our defeat. Or we could change strategies and try to turn things around. It was, I believe, a critical moment in our nation’s history, and a time of testing for our nation’s political leadership.

In the year that has passed, our nation showed its strength –

MSNBC: And speaking of Iraq, we do have breaking news out of Iraq, where at least four mortars have been fired into the heavily-fortified Green Zone today. It’s unclear at this time if there are casualties or any major damage. Now the news comes just a day after five U.S. soldiers were killed in Iraq. Two, again, inside that Green Zone.

There's video of it, so go over to Think Progress and check that out.

Crooks and Liars also has it, with the added bonus of this is a redux for SB John.

And Keith Olbermann, this evening, did a killer segment (#3 - McCainus Interruptus), playing Stumblin' Bumblin' John's speech, stopping in, and rebutting it with facts, and reality ... It was pretty devastating! (and, as of the time writing this, MSNBC hasn't posted the video, so you can go over to Countdown to see if it's there)

How ironic would it be, that every time Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain goes out to give one of his stump speeches, spinning the glory of war, he gets busted with live-action news, of, sadly, another disastrous event in Iraq?

Ohhh, but that was only his morning offering ...


Gift #2

To give you a tease, Wonkette titled their post "John McCain Called Wife Awful Word That Rhymes With 'Hunt' and 'Punt'!", while Emptywheel, over on Firedoglake added a little more - "A Trollop and a C$#T"

Yes, Stumblin' Bumblin John McCain has his infamous temper now documented, and coming out in a new book, 'The Real McCain' by Cliff Schecter.

The Raw Story broke with this today;

Book: McCain temper boiled over in '92 tirade, called wife a 'cunt'

John McCain's temper is well documented. He's called opponents and colleagues "shitheads," "assholes" and in at least one case "a fucking jerk."

But a new book on the presumptive Republican nominee will air perhaps the most shocking angry exchange to date.

Three reporters from Arizona, on the condition of anonymity, also let me in on another incident involving McCain's intemperateness. In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days.

Oh my!

Forget about the Oval Office, sit this man down at the Bada Bing!

How ever is the loving, fawning MSM press going to deal with this one?

Boy, that girl, down on McCain's Biography Tour, dodged a bullet, no?

And, it's only April ... Can't wait for the gifts still being wrapped - tightly ...


The Stumblin' Bumblin John McCainPalooza!

Libby/The Newshoggers: Ed Shultz won't retract remarks

The Hill - McCain: U.S. strategy in Iraq ‘will succeed'

Blue Texan/Firedoglake - McCain: I Fought Hard Against Bush’s Failures In Iraq By Getting Him Re-elected

Pam/Pam's House Blend: McCain's loving comment to wife Cindy: 'you c*nt'

Nicole Bell/C&L: Temper, Temper

Jesus General: Sen. McCain responds to "The Real McCain"

Pale Rider/Red State-Blue Girl: Yeah, We've Heard of the "C" Word...

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

What If Spartacus Was Running Hillary's Campaign ...

It's another "Would'a, Could'a, Should'a" screed today, surfacing from Sean Wilnentz over on Salon.

Hillary Clinton is a victim of a convoluted, eccentric, arcane, primary system, otherwise she'd be the breakaway, clear-cut winner in this thing.

His lead in this year's primary campaign is only due to that Obama gamed the system, that he is, in fact, running in a very un-Democratic manner.

Well, if money grew on trees, we wouldn't be in recession right now ...

Here's a couple of gems, from If the system made sense, Clinton would be far ahead; Under a winner-take-all primary system, Hillary Clinton would have a wide lead over Barack Obama -- and enough delegates to clinch the Democratic presidential nomination by June

These arguments might be compelling if Obama's leads were not so reliant on certain eccentricities in the current Democratic nominating process, as well as on some blatantly anti-democratic maneuvers by the Obama campaign. Obama's advantage hinges on a system that, whatever the actual intentions behind it, seems custom-made to hobble Democratic chances in the fall. It depends on ignoring one of the central principles of American electoral politics, one that will be operative on a state-by-state basis this November, which is that the winner takes all. If the Democrats ran their nominating process the way we run our general elections, Sen. Hillary Clinton would have a commanding lead in the delegate count, one that will only grow more commanding after the next round of primaries, and all questions about which of the two Democratic contenders is more electable would be moot.

In the final analysis, though, the fights inside the Democratic Party aren't really about either an ideal American democracy or the American democracy that actually exists. According to the Obama campaign, democracy is defined as whatever helps Barack Obama win the Democratic nomination. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with a candidate arguing this way. But everybody should see it for what it is -- not something new or transformative, but one of the oldest ploys in the playbook of American politics.

Oh Brother! ...

The Clintonistas must be relieved to know that Hillary doesn't have any responsibility for her abysmal failure.

Her arrogant posture of inevitability, her defending her vote on Iraq, her fabrications, her lies ...

None of that matters.

Hillary Clinton is losing because of an unfair system.

We'll be hearing a lot of that, no doubt ... Multiple variations of it will come hurtling down the pike, more-and-more, as the primary campaign wraps up, and Her Highness continues to falter.

Gee, what would have happened if Spartacus was running Hillary's campaign?


Bonus Links

James Joyner, from Outside The Beltway has a similar themed piece, Hillary Clinton a Victim of the System

Regardless, these are the rules of the game. Quite frequently, the baseball team with more hits or the football team with more offensive yards nonetheless loses. Or, as we saw in 2000, the candidate with fewer popular votes gets elected president. Clinton chose to concentrate her efforts in the large states while Obama contested all the minor caucuses, picking up easy wins. It turns out that his strategy was better.

From the other side of the fence, Little Billy Kristol chimes in with "The Shape of the Race to Come"

Apart from accumulating a few frequent flier miles, what do I have to show for my travels? I can report that lots of conservatives and Republicans expect Barack Obama to be our next president.

But a surprising number of Democrats with whom I’ve spoken expect a McCain victory. One told me he was struck by the current polls showing a dead-even race, suggesting both a surprising openness to McCain among Americans who disapprove of Bush and a striking hesitation among the same voters about Obama.

And an experienced Democratic operative e-mailed: “Finally, I think [McCain’s] going to win. Obama isn’t growing in stature. Once I thought he could be Jimmy Carter, but now he reminds me more of Michael Dukakis with the flag lapel thing and defending Wright. Plus he doesn’t have a clue how to talk to the middle class. He’s in the Stevenson reform mold out of Illinois, with a dash of Harvard disease thrown in.”

In a close race, that “dash of Harvard disease” could be the difference.

And, to offer Hillary a lifeline, her former campaign manger is launching "Hillary/Obama '08"

Marc Ambinder has it in Ex-Clinton Insider Launches Unity Ticket Drive

Hillary/Obama '08 becomes official today. In a way.

A Clinton insider who served as ex campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle's executive assistant for several years has set up a new website, http://www.voteboth.com/ and plans to register with the Federal Election Commission today.

Perrin On McCain, Clinton and Pornographic Ringtones

No quotes on this one.

It would spoil things.

Head on over to Dennis Perrin and read his post from Saturday (H/T to Barry Crimmins);

Crisp Bluejay Sutra

It's fall-on-the-floor, tears-in-the-eyes, funny!

This Date ... On The Garlic

Garlic History - On This Day

7 April 2007... On The Garlic

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Having Rachel Ray Planning Your Prom

Ohhh, And We Had Such Nice Plans For Shock and Awe II -The Sequel ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day; Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged

Editor's Note - Getting Back On Track


7 April 2006... On The Garlic

Libby As Enemy Combatant Unlikely, But Treason Charges Could be Leveled; White House Quiet But Signs Indicate May Mount Offensive Against Libby; Sources Say ‘Everything Is On The Table”, Including Enemy Combatant Status; Rove Working On “Special Smears”

Top Ten Cloves: Things White House Will Say To Claim President Didn’t Leak Classified Information


7 April 2005... On The Garlic

Papal Shocker! Pope's Will Read; Leaves Vatican City To Trump

Bush Snubs Carter On Pope's Funeral

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Tom DeLay and Family Were Paid For

Heston Dead; Coroner Can't Pry Gun From Cold Dead Hands

NRA To Provide Special Custom Casket, If Needed

The Oscar-winning, legendary, superstar actor Charlton Heston died yesterday, at the age of 84, in his Beverly Hills home, in what a family spokesperson indicated was from a diagnosis of symptoms similar to those of Alzheimer's disease.

Heston won an Oscar for his role as Moses in 'The Ten Commandments' and also starred in other major works, including 'Ben Hur, El Cid, The Greatest Show On Earth, Orson Welles' 'Touch of Evil', and Sci-Fi classics 'Planet of the Apes' and Soylent Green

According to the Los Angeles Times, "He was the screen hero of the 1950s and 1960s, a proven stayer in epics, and a pleasing combination of piercing blue eyes and tanned beefcake," David Thomson wrote in his book "The New Biographical Dictionary of Film."

Heston's death, though has caused a problem, of sorts, for the Los Angeles County Coroners Office.

Sources have told The Garlic, when arriving to remove Mr. Heston's body from the home, they haven't been able to pry an antique musket from his hands.

"It's the darnedest thing ... We have had many unusual cases," a spokesperson for the Coroners Office stated, "and this one is right up there."

Heston, during his tenure as president of the National Rifle Association, had made a vow;

In Mr. Heston, the N.R.A. found its embodiment of pioneer values — pride, independence and valor. In a speech at the N.R.A.’s annual convention in 2000, he brought the audience to its feet with a ringing attack on gun-control advocates. Paraphrasing an N.R.A. bumper sticker (“I’ll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hands”) he waved a replica of a colonial musket above his head and shouted defiantly, “From my cold, dead hands!”

Heston, active in politics, was, in his earlier life, a democrat, activist and civil rights supporter.

But things changed.

He became a Republican after Democrats in the Senate blocked the confirmation of Judge Robert Bork, a conservative, to the Supreme Court in 1987. Mr. Heston had supported the nomination and was critical of the Reagan White House for misreading the depth of the liberal opposition.

The Coroners Office, to avoid more extreme measures, indicated they would leave this matter to the family and word came in late from the NRA, that they would provide a special, custom-designed casket, with a turret, to intern Heston with his beloved gun.

Additionally, the NRA will drape the coffin with a specially knit flag, the full text of the 2nd Amendment.

"From cradle to grave," said a somber Wayne LaPierre, the NRA's Executive Vice President and Chief Executive Officer.


Bonus Links

Statement by the Family of Charlton Heston

Lawyers, Guns and Money: Chuck Has Left the Stage...

Steve Clemons: Thou Shalt Not. . .Charlton Heston Dead at 84

YouTube: From my cold dead hands

Chopped Garlic ... Of Virginia Tech ... The Right To Bear Arms ... And Barry Crimmins

This Date ... On The Garlic

Garlic History - On This Day

April 06 2005... On The Garlic

Aliens Jam Arizona Border; Many Disappointed With 'Historic' Minuteman

Pope Mourners Protest Fees; Claim TicketMaster Overcharging

Top Ten Cloves: How ABC Plans To Fill In For Peter Jennings

Breaking News! MLK, Posthumously, Pardons McCain

It's absolutely astounding the the McCain Campaign was able to keep the lid on such breathtaking news.

I mean, with all the media digging (wink, wink), the 24/7 news cycles, the rocking-and-rolling biography tour, and no one, not one single McCain worker even hinted such a blockbuster was forthcoming.

Yesterday, ol' Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain spoke at the ceremonies commemorating the 40th Anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's assassination, giving his mea culpa for, originally, dissing, and voting against, the MLK Holiday.

"We can all be a little late sometimes in doing the right thing, and Dr. King understood this about his fellow Americans. But he knew as well that in the long term, confidence in the reasonability and good heart of America is always well placed. And always, that was his method in word and action—to remind us of who we are and what we believe. ...

Unbelievable!

King, and many, many others, were being beaten, some even murdered, in the fight for equality, the battle for civil rights, the call for the country to live up to it's pledge, its' Constitution and McCain does a paint-by-numbers Norman Rockwell tribute, as if everyone listening to it was going to cheer such a distortion.

I am not an MLK scholar, however, from readings and viewings of program on Dr. King, I harbor serious doubts that Dr. King was so rosily upbeat about the "confidence in the reasonability and good heart of America is always well placed".

It was, this "good heart of America" who was, with bullhorns and angry red-faces, attempting to put Dr. King down, looking to silence him, marginalize him.

And that was just our own government.

"The FBI's interest in King intensified after the March on Washington in August 1963, when King delivered his "I have a dream speech," which many historians consider the most important speech of the 20th century. After the speech, an FBI memo called King the "most dangerous and effective Negro leader in the country.

The bureau convened a meeting of department heads to "explore how best to carry on our investigation [of King] to produce the desired results without embarrassment to the Bureau," which included "a complete analysis of the avenues of approach aimed at neutralizing King as an effective Negro leader."

No, I don't believe Dr. King understood, nor accepted, the lateness, for his fellow Americans.

If McCain bothered to look, or assigned someone in his staff to check, I think he would find that Dr. Kings' body of work was directly aimed at not accepting, or understanding such lateness from his fellow Americans.

All McCain would have had to look at was Dr. King's final day, in Memphis, to support the garbage men's strike, who protested and marched wearing signs that read "I Am A Man".

McCain was just toting the party line, engaging in the standard the "Santa Clausification of MLK" (H/T to Andrew Golis/TPMCafe).

Cornell West, speaking with Tavis Smiley;

West: I mean, I think it's very important because you see a lot of chit-chat about Martin every year and Martin has been so domesticated and tamed and defamed, you know, what we call the Santa Clausification of the brother.

Tavis: Wait a minute. Hold the phone, hold the phone. The Santa Clausification of Dr. King, which means what, Dr. West?

West: He just becomes a nice little old man with a smile with toys in his bag, not a threat to anybody, as if his fundamental commitment to unconditional love and unarmed truth does not bring to bear certain kinds of pressure to a status quo. So the status quo feels so comfortable as though it's a convenient thing to do rather than acknowledge him as to what he was, what the FBI said, "The most dangerous man in America." Why? Because of his fundamental commitment to love and to justice and trying to keep track of the humanity of each and every one of us.

McCain is not a nice, little old man, and he often sneers and snorts, and it's not toys in his bag, but wars, and more wars, and he is threat to everybody.

Too bad he didn't have Lieberman with him for his Make-Up Mitt Speech, though I doubt Lieberman would have been able to whisper the correct answer in his ear on this day.

Then again, it's a bit surprising that McCain didn't tie things together, and say Kings' killer was trained by Iran.

You're slipping there, Fly Boy ...

No, Wait A Minute ... I Think It Was The Hospital That Was Under Sniper Fire ...

Oops, she did it again!

No, not Britney Spears, but the other diva, Queen of the campaign trail, the intrepid candidate, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

If Hillary was inflicted with the same curse as Pinocchio, you could line her up to measure a couple of football fields, with her schnauz by now.

Geez, don't their people check anything?

Hillary's been bouncing around the campaign trail, attempting to put the Fear-of-God into people, over healthcare (as you know, only HRC has the de facto, guaranteed, absolutely successful healthcare plans), telling a tale (that has gotten taller-and-taller) about a woman - a pregnant woman - who was said to have no insurance, and was denied treatment (because she didn't have the $100), and both she and her baby died as a result.

Only, much like the Where's Waldo Snipers, it didn't quite happen that way.

And Hillary has been spinning this so much, the hospital has gone public, in an attempt to get her to stop.

The woman, Trina Bachtel, did die last August, two weeks after her baby boy was stillborn at O’Bleness Memorial Hospital in Athens, Ohio. But hospital administrators said Friday that Ms. Bachtel was under the care of an obstetrics practice affiliated with the hospital, that she was never refused treatment and that she was, in fact, insured.

“We implore the Clinton campaign to immediately desist from repeating this story,” said Rick Castrop, chief executive officer of the O’Bleness Health System.

Linda M. Weiss, a spokeswoman for the not-for-profit hospital, said the Clinton campaign had never contacted the hospital to check the accuracy of the story, which Mrs. Clinton had first heard from a Meigs County, Ohio, sheriff’s deputy in late February.

A Clinton spokesman, Mo Elleithee, said candidates would frequently retell stories relayed to them, vetting them when possible. “In this case, we did try but were not able to fully vet it,” Mr. Elleithee said. “If the hospital claims it did not happen that way, we respect that.”

I wonder if the Clinton spokesman shrugged their shoulders and muttered under their breath "Well, if that's what you want to believe, but we know what we know".

Karen Tumulty;

What is astounding here is that for all the research that the Clinton campaign has done, scouring and scrubbing the opposition, they didn't put a bit more effort into looking at what their own candidate is saying.

John Cole, over on Balloon Juice;

What this all boils down to is a question of competence. It has become increasingly clear that despite their claims about passing the CinC threshold and despite their claims of superior judgment, the Clinton crew cares little about actually getting things right. Loyalty, however, is a cherished value. Competence, not so much.

Where have I seen that poisonous combination over the past eight years? Does the country need four more years of rule from an arrogant and incompetent administration that places a priority on loyalty and secrecy?

And And Pam, from Pam's House Blend, is equally perplexed;

"I simply do not understand this. With all the true health care nightmares out there to use to illustrate why the system is broken, why does the Hillary Clinton and her staff let her tell complete fables on the campaign trail?

The Clinton camp is throwing some local sheriff under-the-bus, saying he told Hillary the story.

When did that conversation take place?

At 3AM?

Yeah, tested, vetted and ready on Day One...

Right ...

The Hillary Death Watch is now down to 8.8% of a chance she'll win the nomination.